Reviews written by registered user
Flixer1957

Page 1 of 11:[1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10] [11] [Next]
109 reviews in total 
Index | Alphabetical | Chronological | Useful

Vampyre (1990)
2 out of 3 people found the following review useful:
For Fans Of Independent Cinema, 12 November 2011
7/10

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

Loosely based on Carl Dreyer's 1932 VAMPYR.

Traumatized by vampires as a youngster, David Gray grows into an adult dedicated to fighting the bloodthirsty forces of evil. He's called to the remote village of Cortempierre, in which innocent humans have become a minority. Witches and vampires hold sway over the countryside thanks to the demonic doings of an evil doctor (John Brent) and the seldom-seen but all-pervasive vampire Marguerite Chopin (Kathy Seyler.) Well before the showdown the audience wonders, along with Gray, if the vampire hunter has bitten off more than he can chew.

Filmed mainly in the restored Eastfield Village in Rensselaer County, NY, VAMPYRE is set in a nebulous time and place, the French sound of "Cortempierre" notwithstanding. This and the film's dreamlike (in some cases nightmarish) atmosphere give the director free reign to be as bizarre as he wants. The "no children–no dogs" dialogue is a deliberately strange carry-over from Dreyer's flick but there is plenty of new weirdness as well. Flouting Hollywood convention, vampires stalk their victims in broad daylight (which often frequently happens in traditional vampire lore.) A topless vampire woman rides around on horseback, for no other reason than the film's distributor demanded it (along with a change in the spelling of the title.) Hallenbeck's own set-pieces include a peasant woman being tied to a piece of farm machinery and murdered and the local Igor-type having his leg lopped off in loving close-up. Later, a character with a musket wound in his face rips off Igor's peg-leg and kills him with it. Non-gore stand-outs include a haunting dance sequence and some well-integrated sepia and black-and-white footage. Most of the players are competent but are dwarfed by the overall strange ambiance of the picture. However, Randy Scott Rozler is a real stand-out as David Gray. He may resemble a member of the Carradine family but his performance is fine taken on its own terms. John Brent as the bad doctor displays a real screen villainy unseen in recent horror flicks and his footage should be shown in acting classes everywhere.

Bloody in certain scenes, fleshy in others, VAMPYRE is and hour and a half of good solid entertainment for broad-minded fans of the ghastly and the weird.

Franco Femme Fatale On A Rampage, 28 June 2011

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

A young doctor experiments with fusing animal and human embryos, which incurs the wrath of the ruling medical board. They humiliate him and banish him; he then goes berserk and kills himself. After a decent interval of mourning, his widow–-played to the sultry hilt by Soledad Miranda–goes all-out for revenge. She's determined to wipe out all those bad doctors–male and female–who did her hubby wrong.

Most of the killings involve Miranda using her (considerable) womanly wiles to seduce her victims before slashing or stabbing them. (One scene, however, would have us believe that it only takes 20 seconds to smother someone to death.) Once the slaying starts–about 30 minutes into the movie–things move along at a rapid clip. (Possibly a bad choice of words considering what our Black Widow does to her male victims afterward.) In any case, this rampage gives us many shots of Miranda's beautiful bod. Female viewers, meanwhile, can enjoy the scenes of Jess Franco shirtless and Howard Vernon in the buff. And everybody can amuse themselves by counting the spelling errors in the English subtitles, or relaxing to a music score better suited to a nightclub than a horror movie.

The tired old "crime does not pay" ending involves some of the worst deductive reasoning I've heard on-screen. It's also oddly prophetic, considering what happened to Soledad Miranda in real life.

2 out of 3 people found the following review useful:
Cool Title, Doofy Movie...., 5 July 2010
3/10

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

Brad Grinter's other claim to fame was BLOOD FREAK, about a bloodthirsty turkey-monster. Chris Martell previously appeared in THE GRUESOME TWOSOME, then co-starred with Phil Philbin in SCREAM BABY SCREAM. Apparently those films weren't bad enough so these guys collaborated on this Grade-Z stinker, co-produced by none other than Veronica Lake. Veronica plays a crazed plastic surgeon who uses hungry maggots for dermabrasion. She's also seeking revenge on a "mystery patient" whose identity is revealed at the end. (HINT: This mystery patient ruled Germany during World War II.) This grungy premise, which should have grossed out drive-in audiences everywhere, is undermined by insane dialog, risible acting and hysterical production gaffes. A lab assistant cuts through a corpse's tendon and a noise like wood being sawed is heard on the soundtrack. Another character blunders into a room festooned with pale body parts hanging from the ceiling; she actually has to bump into a hacked-up torso before noticing anything wrong. I've read about a scene where Lake spouts a patriotic wartime speech directly into the camera; thankfully, it's been cut from every video version I've seen. Veronica was a diner waitress prior to doing this picture. After waiting on the public, she probably considered working with maggots a pleasant chore by comparison.

2 out of 4 people found the following review useful:
1947 was a lean year..., 5 July 2010
2/10

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

Here's a weird one for you: a terror tale told in flashback by the voice of a dead woman. Heroine Joyce Compton is terrorized by an eerie figure in a green mask until her ticker can't take it any more. Shots of her corpse are separated from flashbacks by loud noise on the soundtrack. Perennial mad doctor George Zucco stars, along with Bela Lugosi as a hypnotist, Angelo Rossitto as his assistant and Molly Lamont as a stereotype Irish maid. Big Nat Pendleton, so good at playing goof-balls, is a dopey detective so inept he couldn't catch a virus during a flu epidemic. They all play their parts as if completely unrehearsed, which at least gives the picture its only continuity. Cabanne blended horror and comedy relief very well in THE MUMMY'S HAND; this outing is a farce with horror trappings and nothing more. Allegedly Lugosi's only film in color.

1 out of 1 people found the following review useful:
Uncut On DVD., 4 July 2010
1/10

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

Demented Dr. DeMarco has figured out a way to create Astro-Zombies–that is, wildly gyrating actors wearing skull masks. His methods involve organs being removed--usually from lovely women, of course. The Feds want to stop him. Villains led by statuesque Tura Satana want his formula. Most viewers probably wanted their money back. John Carradine plays DeMarco with all the professionalism he can muster. Satana's costumes showcase the twin talents that made her a Russ Meyer star. She also throws a nasty karate kick, just as her Mexican cohort brandishes a mean switchblade–never let it be said that Ted V. Mikels let a stereotype go by. Another character jokes about "becoming a lush;" that line is in ill taste since co-star Wendell Corey–who died after filming–was suffering from acute alcoholism. On the funny side: there's never more than one Astro-zombie on screen at any time; must be the local Woolworth's only had one skull mask in stock. One Astro-zombie manages to lose his "photo cell" and pursues victims while holding a flashlight up to his head to keep going. Toy tanks and robots appear for no logical reason under the credits. Old VHS tapes titled SPACE VAMPIRES ran a mere 77 minutes. I recently saw a 91-minute DVD that featured some surprising bits of cheesecake early on and gore toward the end. I bet co-scripter/co-producer Wayne Rogers never mentioned this five-cent fiasco to his buddies on the set of M*A*S*H.

1 out of 1 people found the following review useful:
American Graffiti Rip-Off Has Its Moments., 27 March 2010
7/10

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

Directed by "Jethro Bodine" and written by Jesse Vint of MACON COUNTY LINE fame, this winner hit the Hudson Valley drive-ins on a double-bill with BUCKSTONE COUNTY PRISON. It's debatable which flick is sillier; at least HOMETOWN USA is goofy on purpose.

The lead character is pudgy, frizz-haired high-school nerd Rodney "The Rodent," who sometimes talks into the camera. The fun begins when he takes his sister's boyfriend's convertible and tries to cruise with the big dudes. He winds up an unwilling chauffeur for TJ Swackhammer, the local James Dean imitator, and tough-guy Recil Calhoun. Calhoun has a giant slingshot in his Chevy pick-up and launches flour-bombs at the local Mean Cop. Other stock characters include stuffy strait-laced parents; a stacked teenaged nympho; bikers; leggy car-hops; doofy derelicts and one under-aged girl who's tougher than the boys. Sally Kirkland plays one of several 26-year-"old" women on the prowl. Pat Delaney is Rodney's Dream Girl who turns into a nightmare. There are lots of insults and zingers; Jesse Vint reprises the "hard man is good to find" line that got so many chuckles in BOBBIE JO AND THE OUTLAW. A lot of the jokes and situations are so dumb you can't help but crack up; others are legitimately funny. The actors portraying the high-schoolers are older than their characters which only adds to the hilarity. All this, with a great oldies soundtrack and more 1957 automobiles than you can shake a stick at.

Or lob a flour-bomb at. That giant slingshot was COOL! I've gotta get me one of them...

Detour (2003) (V)
Let the "Hills Have Eyes" Rip-offs Begin!, 21 March 2010

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

This copycat bloodbath helmed by S. Lee Taylor (hopefully no relation to R. Dean Taylor) opens with two lovely ladies crossing the desert on the way to their same-sex wedding. (Heavy social relevance here, folks!) They're slashed to death by a killer with a double-hook hand. After the main titles, a horde of young "adults" in an RV blunder into the same area. A geeky gas station owner warns them not to venture further, so guess what they do next. The driver swerves to miss a little girl standing in the road and before you know it, the RV is stranded in Chemically Contaminated Cannibal Country.

Before the hungry homicidal maniacs show up, we're "entertained" by six air-heads whose dopey mannerisms and stupid "tween" vernacular almost had me hitting the Eject button. The "Loopz" character is a white dude who talks like a stereotype black pimp–and manages to insult whites, blacks and pimps in the process. At least the women are knock-outs, and two members of this eye-candy contingent amuse us with insults aimed at each other's boobs and butts.

The mutated murderers mount their assault roughly 40 minutes into the picture. Most of them are marshmallows compared to the original Papa Jupe and his clan, but there are more of them–-more TARGETS in other words!!! Gore set-pieces include stabbing, slashing, impalement, decapitation, pungi stakes through feet and gore-splattering gunshot wounds. One character has a screwdriver rammed into his upper spine–and he still moves afterward. Actual cannibalism is kept to a minimum but oh well, you can't have everything.

To top it all off, the end credits are a real hoot–rife with such monikers as "Cannibal Gargoyle", "LoudMouth Jackass", and "Maggie The Bitch." And for us chronic screen-starers who sit through ALL the credits, there's a juicy tidbit at the end of it all.

This movie doesn't have an original bone in its picked-clean carcass-- but it manages to be entertaining in spite of itself. I only hope that the young folks DETOUR is aimed at re-discover Wes Craven's 1977 THE HILLS HAVE EYES. That movie was a true Terror Classic.

3 out of 4 people found the following review useful:
Al Adamson couldn't make comedies, either., 22 October 2009
1/10

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

Stewardess Regina Carrol, a brunette this time out, goes to a dude ranch with her equally air-headed friends. Ranch owner Robert Livingston wants to bring in gambling; bad guys are after the oil on his land so they hijack his casino equipment and burn his employees with branding irons. Yvonne DeCarlo runs a cat-house and, at one point, breaks into song; her singing is the more criminal offense. The two surviving Ritz Brothers, in the movie's comic "high point," try to hitch a ride by showing their legs. Except for one scene involving a blow-up doll and another of a nude woman standing on her head, BLAZING.... could have been rated PG. This boring "comedy" has no laughs whatsoever and is a blatant insult to the Hollywood stunt men to whom it's dedicated. I can't imagine flight attendants being thrilled with it either.

1 out of 2 people found the following review useful:
A Nazi Atrocity of the Cinematic Kind., 20 October 2009
2/10

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

1943: A gang of especially dissolute Nazis drink, snort coke, cavort with some unappealing prostitutes and film the entire sick scene until the Allies attack and ruin the party. (The assault consists of stock footage and ONE explosion from a lesser bomb than this movie. I don't know how I stood the excitement!)

1988: Six typically annoying teen-agers, played by poorly-dubbed actors, arrive at a remote villa that--big surprise--turns out to be the site of the shenanigans mentioned above. One of them is battered and seduced by a Nazi ghost, though she has little to say about it to her friends the next day.

The youngsters try to leave the house and of course find it impossible to do so. They are further beset by a couple of Nazi specters in between long stretches of nothing happening. There are only two notable set-pieces before the lame, lazy finale: a prolonged eye-candy scene involving a topless, mega-breasted teen and a female succubus, and a murder victim's corpse putrefying before his friends' eyes.

Like most of Fulci's later work, this has none of the atmosphere or memorable characters found in his early horrors. The minimal gore is totally uninspired and unenthusiastic this time out. I can't believe this picture was directed by the same guy who gave us ZOMBIE, CITY OF THE LIVING DEAD and THE BEYOND.

When it comes to "NW" (Nazi Whorehouse) pot-boilers, this ranks as one of the worst. Next to SODOMA'S GHOST, trash like HELL TRAIN starts to look good, and David Friedman's LOVE CAMP 7 just looks better than ever.

3 out of 4 people found the following review useful:
One of Hammer's Crown Jewels From The 1960s., 20 October 2009
8/10

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

Lovely, raven-haired Jacqueline Pearce falls victim to a Malaysian curse and mutates into a scaly-faced, green-skinned monster with peepers the size of manhole covers.

Don't let that spare synopsis fool you–there are erotic and psychological undercurrents a-plenty in one of Hammer's best from the 1960s. Filmed, with atmosphere to burn, in Cornwall at the same time as the excellent PLAGUE OF THE ZOMBIES. Noel Willman and Jennifer Daniel co-star. Michael Ripper, one of the best character actors ever, gets a lot of screen time here. In a cute reversal of what usually happens in these flicks, Ripper's innkeeper actually welcomes new arrivals to the village. Some of the other locals are another story altogether...

A friend of mine saw a play in London, in which Jacqueline Pearce appeared topless. I bet anything she got a standing ovation.


Page 1 of 11:[1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10] [11] [Next]