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House of the Dead (2003)
They died with their shirts off
Bad for a zombie movie, bad for a video game movie, pretty good for a Clint Howard movie. On the positive side, there are about thirty boob-filled seconds in this movie that will please your average horny teenager. On the negative side, there is everything else.
Almost Heroes (1998)
Worse than Black Sheep
I worked as an usher the summer this movie came out, and I had to deal with a customer indignant that she couldn't get a refund because this movie stunk so bad. All I could think to respond to her was, "Didn't you see the previews?" I don't think a few good laughs is too much to ask from a comedy. It's far, far too much to ask of this tripe.
Legion of the Dead (2001)
Painfully bad in every way possible
The few people below who recommended this tripe need to be dead. This travesty of a movie is the kind of thing that happens when talentless people fail to recognize their shortcomings and start trying to be the next Tarantino or Lynch. The lady who plays Geena is pretty attractive. An hour and a half of film and that is absolutely the only positive thing I can think to say.