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9 reviews in total 
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3 out of 10 people found the following review useful:
Awful, just like the star says, 18 May 2010

I have read the books, or at least through the 6th and then just thumbed through the rest as they are mostly rehashes of the first 6 books.

If you enjoy this series, then more power to you, but it has some serious problems.

First and foremost is the incredibly bad casting for Richard and Khalan. I can accept a midget Richard with brown eyes and a not-so-attractive brunette Khalan if either of the actors could act. They cannot.

It doesn't bother me at all when a movie or TV series departs from the original source material, it's just a fact that you have to ADAPT from the original material and that includes taking liberties with plot points and even the character appearances.

What is not OK is taking a wonderful piece of fantasy fiction, easily in the top 5 best fantasy series novels of all time and turning them into Xena.

I am not surprised that this series has a lot of dedicated fans. The books are so incredible that it would be difficult to completely ruin them, even with bad acting, bad writing, bad direction, bad editing, bad music and unbelievably bad casting.

I would advise people who would like to see this abomination of a series continued to step out of your little TV box and pick up 'Wizard's First Rule' and see what you've been missing sitting on the couch and eating Cheetos. You'll thank me, I promise.

11 out of 19 people found the following review useful:
Perverse pop drivel, 30 May 2009

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

You've had your spoiler warning, so leave now because I'm going to tell you the whole story in one sentence.

This is literally a story about a man who has to have a house fall on him to get a second opinion for a terminal disease diagnosis.

Turns out, he was never sick at all! The mysterious disease that at once was killing him and making him better looking throughout the movie turned out to be a complete sham. Much as this movie is a complete sham.

The rest of the plot is just junk piled on top of this false premise. Any rational conversation the movie was trying to have with the audience completely collapses when it is revealed that the whole movie is just a con job.

The music deserves special mention and scorn. Many of the 'big' emotional moments are simply montage shots with some faux-Celtic female folk singing playing while the main character looks out at a sunset or climbs underneath a bridge to retrieve childhood memories or maybe just stares at some stucco on the side of a house while the audience is left to its own.

This movie would have been an embarrassment for Hallmark on the Lifetime channel. I saw it for free on StarZ and want my money back!

1 out of 4 people found the following review useful:
Hopeless trash, 20 October 2007

Well, it was better than eating rocks, but not much.

Pathetic, pitiful and juvenile effort backed up with some of the silliest CGI effects I've ever seen in a movie.

Stupid plot, horrible dialog, cheesy special effects, no character development, mis-cast actors and just plain idiotic. If you're over 13 years of age, this movie is NOT for you.

The surfer is hot with fabulous abs and a perfect chest and if you still need more man meat then you get a shot of fire-boy without his shirt, too. I don't quite get why guys would like this, but hey, WWF is still popular with a certain 'type' of young man. Not much in the female department, but if pecs and abs and hot male butts are your thing, then you may just like this.

1 out of 1 people found the following review useful:
Pitiful, 16 October 2007

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

Thanks to this film, I now can answer the question, "What is the worst movie you have ever seen?"

I can't even think of a close second, and I've seen some really bad movies.

Absolutely nothing works in this film. Name a single element of any horror film and this movie fails. Honestly, I've seen better on YouTube. Here's some typical dialogue:

"Steve?" "Steve?" "Steve, is that you?" "Steve, I'm not kidding" "Steve, this isn't funny!" "Steve, are you there?" "Steve?" "Steve?" "Steve?"

"ARggh!!!! Ahhhhhh!!!! Nooooooo!"

38 out of 60 people found the following review useful:
I was in a rage..., 20 May 2007

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

...after spending $8 to view this senseless mess of a movie. Perhaps the virus mutated to the writers, directors and actors, explaining the plot holes, sophomoric dialogue and clichéd and completely unoriginal camera work.

I don't mind the occasional plot hole in a horror movie. It's expected. What I do mind is a plot so nonsensical, so absurd, so implausible and so full of holes that I feel the film makers are purposefully insulting me.

Lucky for me I'm not all that intelligent, or the insult could have been terminal.

Read the other one star reviews of this movie for a comprehensive list of the many, many stupid reactions and decisions the characters make in this film. If I can save just one person the price of admission to this movie, then my job is done.

The Ring (2002)
Every frame is worth a frame, 14 January 2003

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

Every frame of this movie is worth framing. I can't remember when I've seen a movie more thouroughly steeped in creepy atmosphere, brooding cinematography, and spooky music, and all for naught.

Every movie needs a plot. This film commits the cardinal crime of thinking that artistic merit will somehow overshadow its lack of dialogue, continuity and overall sense. "If you make it pretty enough, they will come."

**spoiler** You've already seen every scene in this movie if you are a fan of Six Feet Under, The Sixth Sense, and assorted MTV videos.

My advice; turn on the movie, turn off the sound, and put on your favorite album. It makes an excellent music video.

0/4 *

1 out of 2 people found the following review useful:
Must see event, 11 November 2002

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

As you may have noticed from the other comments, people either loved this film or despised it. That reaction alone should be enough for you to give this movie a shot and discover in which camp you belong.

Visually stunning, but so unconventional that scores of people will tune out immediately. The first fifteen minutes are almost a test to see if the viewer can bend his expectations to a totally new paradigm. According to the director's commentary, this is exactly what he intended. Separate the wheat from the chaff early, let the audience know this will not be another generic musical (or film, for that matter) and then proceed with the fun. For the people that don't make it through the first fifteen minutes, thank Baz.

This is a simple love story with a simple plot told in a very complex way. The movie begins by telling you the end so the viewer can enjoy the ride, and what a ride!

The Moulin Rouge is about to become a real theater, with the help of the evil monied Duke. The show being written by Christian (Ewen McGregor) to accomplish this 'Spectacular' transformation is a reflection of the movie character's own lives. But wait! This is a two-way mirror. At times the stage show precedes the real action and at times 'real' life is written into the show. At other times the show and life are happening simultaneously.

*small spoiler* The movie is chock full of original ideas, my favorite being the use of popular music in the score. The first time this happens you'll be asking yourself, "What the heck is this piece of music doing in this movie?", but once Ewen starts singing Elton John's 'Your Song' the device is revealed. Modern songs are used as the libretto of the movie!

There has been much said about the singing talents of the lead characters, but I applaud Nicole and Ewen for having the courage to sing their own roles. I guess Baz could have cast a 'real' singer like Madonna for the lead role, but unfortunately, she can't act.

Give this movie a shot, and don't be tricked into turning it off before you see what it's really all about.

10 out of 10

stupid, but not stupid enough, 11 November 2002

This movie has been compared to Tremors, and that's a shame. Tremors was funny and scary, and sometimes silly. 8LF is just plain stupid. I rooted for the spiders, and was terribly disappointed when they LOST. If you see it, rent the DVD and see the short film this travesty was modeled after. The short film is quite good and twice as scary as the full length feature.

Fight Club (1999)
0 out of 1 people found the following review useful:
cosmic exploration of the base instincts of the human male, 7 May 2001

I understand that a large portion of the audience viewing this film thinks that it has something to do with fighting. It does not. Fighting is a device the movie uses to explore deep truths about the male animal, his basic nature, his need for leadership, in whatever form it takes, and the power of the individual to create a unique reality for himself and any disciples that happen along. (and there are always plenty.

There is an unnerving and half realized terror rearing it's head in America today. We have real, concrete choices to make if we just had the nerve to admit the truth and take the chances. This films pushes the point to excess. Live it small or live it large. It's each of our choices. Given a lot of intelligence, some serious personality skills, and just enough psychosis to make it interesting, we can all be our own god.

A visually inspired, almost perfect film, but you can't really know this unless you've seen it at least twice.