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Breaking Bad: Ozymandias (2013)
My spoiler-free review of this week's episode of Breaking Bad
If "The Dark Knight" and "The Empire Strikes Back" had a baby, taught it everything they knew about film as a medium of art, then sent it off to film school, so it could master its craft in acting, film editing, directing, writing, and cinematography, whilst being an overachiever, earning perfect scores on all of the assignments, tests, plus all of the extra credit assignments, and still having time left over to score with all of the hot female students, teaching assistants, and professors, that's "Ozymandias" in a nutshell. It is just that f***ing good!
Seriously?! 8.2?! Do people really think this episode is better than "Stranger in a Strange Land" or Season 6?!
I'm not gonna beat around the bush: Nikki and Paolo were easily my least favorite "characters" on this show. Two uninteresting, personality-less vessels that you have to put together in order to just get one dimension out of them, get their very own episode, in which, they die at the end. That was still too good for them! Up until this episode, all they did was stand around in the background, and yet, Kiele Sanchez and Rodrigo Santoro still managed to get "Starring" status, because I guess they were banging the casting directors, while L. Scott Caldwell (Rose) and Sam Anderson (Bernard) maintained "Guest Starring" credits up until the last episode, and yet they were so much more interesting than Nikki and Paolo. Before I verbally bitch-slap this episode for sucking so bad, let me discuss why I didn't hate "Stranger in a Strange Land". That episode may have been slow, but at least it added to the grand scheme of all things. Jack was trying to immerse himself into the Others' culture, like "Dances with Wolves", but his flashback implies that his controlling nature may get in the way of that, since he was trying to talk about his personal life to Achara, and she stop's him, saying that's too personal for an outsider to be talking about. Then he forces her to tattoo her "vision" on his arm, which is what get's him cast out from her culture, since he's violated their norms and taboos so many times. So learning from that experience, he tries a more diplomatic approach to get what he wants out of Ben, and it works, because he learned from his mistakes. Back to "Exposé", let's see what happens in this episode: Well we learn that Nikki and Paolo are jewel thieves, and as I said earlier, they die at the end of this episode. Good riddance! Oh yeah, and Charlie confesses to Sun that he was the one who attacked her; he apologizes and she forgives him. Okay, but you could have stuck that in any other episode, and it wouldn't have made a difference. Nikki and Paolo needed to be cut out of the show altogether. If you're ever watching the complete series, and you get to this episode, just skip it, because you're not missing anything! Oh, yeah, and Billy Dee Williams was there. WTF?!?!?! 1/10
A Nightmare on Elm Street (2010)
In the words of Jay Sherman ('The Critic'), "If it's a remake of a classic, rent the classic!"
Where to start, where to start. Okay, let me start by saying that I have never seen any of the original "Nightmare On Elm Street" movies, so everything I have to say about this movie is me judging this movie on its own merit, without making any reference or comparison to the originals. With that said, this, on its own merit, is indeed a terrible movie, even for a slasher/horror movie. This was the first slasher/horror movie that I have seen in a theater, so naturally, I expected a lot of people to be screaming or gasping. Needless to say, there were no screams whatsoever in my theater. In fact, there was nothing but laughter in lieu of those absent screams. Sure, some people say that Freddy Krueger's one liners are supposed to generate a lot of laughs, but not in this movie. His one liners are so stale, the only thing people were laughing at was the over-the-top acting, the poorly shot death scenes, etc. The only compliment I have to give is the cg burn face for Freddy, but everything else about him was terrible. His voice was just irritating, with Haley just re-using his annoying Rorschach voice, and being unfunny. Pass on this one.