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Camp Rock (2008)
JoBros....why did you come into this?
Okay, let me start by saying that I am a fourteen year old girl who loves the Jonas Brothers. I love them to death, me and my friends have arguments about which of us is gonna marry Joe or Nick (Sorry, Kevin...you're cool, just not our type.) and me and my one friend almost cried when we couldn't see it on Friday and had to resort to watching a taping. But...this was painful. I started groaning when I found out we still had an hour left to watch, and I'm writing this while watching it because I couldn't take anymore and needed something else to do.
All right, for the first order of business, I would like to say how amazing it is that all the campers have the ability to mix their voices without any equipment. I really wish I could do that, because it's pretty awesome.
Next on our list is the JoBros. I have already stated that I love them to death, but I hate their characters in this. Joe, the funny, sweet one, has been transformed into this...diva. Joe is not a diva (divo?), and he doesn't do well playing a diva. And then Kevin. I like Kevin, I respect Kevin. Kevin is a gentleman. He seems very sweet and smart (I don't know him personally, so I don't know.) But...I felt bad for him, because they made him a really stupid, really gay-sounding (My friend calls him gay all the time, but I don't think it's true), just...he's like...London from the Suite Life of Zack and Cody. I HATE Suite Life, so this is really hard for me to say about any Jonas, but it's true! And then Nick, the sweet, down-to-earth Jonas, well...he's just kind of there. Seriously, their performance as Larry, Moe and Curly Jonas on Hannah Montana was better than this. They're just guys, Disney! Let them just be guys!
Now, the next thing I would like to discuss is Demi Lavato (I think I might have misspelled that. Forgive me, Demi Lavato fans, of which I am not.) I think she did fairly well for her first big DCOM, but her character...I kept cringing through the whole thing due to her lies, her quick fall into popularity, her inability to see that Tess HATED her!! Ugh...really. And that one song! You know, the "This is real" song? Geez! Find another song, girl! Maybe something that's maybe...oh, I don't know...ROCK?! Not, as Joe tactfully put, "cookie-cutter pop"? Seriously, who wrote this script? Speaking of her and Joe, they were just disgustingly sweet. I wanted to gag so many times watching them together.
Finally, let me address how the girls fought in this. Real teenage girls DON'T fight like that. I speak from experience, because I know how to fight like a teenage girl, given that I am one. Us teen girls, we don't throw spaghetti on people we hate. We talk. We spread rumors, we stab each other in the back, talk behind each other's backs, and, occasionally, we might have a cat-fight. But we DON'T throw spaghetti. That's just...no.
And, before I leave you today, I would like to sum up everything by saying what everyone else has: This was obviously intended to be the new High School Musical, and it failed. I don't even like HSM, but I can respect it. It's good enough that you want to make fun of it, and I respect that. But this...it's just bad. I CAN'T make fun of it, because it's already done that for me. Here's one thing that I liked in HSM that I hated in this. Tess, who is obviously Sharpay 2.0, goes from being a total...witch (Keeping it Disney-sponsored here.) to being this nice, shy girl. One thing I liked about Sharpay is that she pretty much stayed mean throughout. Sure, at the end of the movie, she had kind of repented, but she was never outright NICE (except when she hugged Zeke at the end of HSM 1). But she bounced right back to being a blond witch in HSM 2! And she's gonna be mean in HSM 3, I know it! She is a mainstream mean girl, and she stays like it! But...who knows? Maybe you need a gay twin brother with a billion hats to stay mean.
Well, in all, I give it a 3/10. The music irked me, and the acting made me cry. The only reason I even give it a three is because I laughed when Joe tried to cry. And when Kevin and Nick started fighting during the phone call. It was so out of character, it made me laugh. So...I don't recommend it. Not at all. Go watch High School Musical instead. Even if you hate HSM, it's better than this crap.