dmacfarlane-58696 Reviews

Polaroid (I) (2019)

Decent but not great

[7/10 · 12 June 2024]

To be honest, I don't get why this has 0% on RT. This is FAR from being one of the worst horror movies ever. I'd say it's quite average, maybe slightly above.

The good things are the acting, score, backstory of the entity, that the film spared the dog, and the LGBTQ+ representation from Kasey (even though they didn't actually commit to giving her a girlfriend). And I did also like that it took place during the winter. Made for a decent setting.

The bad things are the lighting, some of the jump scares (I mean, one was just a tray falling over in a diner), and the unavoidable fact that the order in which characters died in this movie became quite predictable, unfortunately.

So yeah, it wasn't a thought-provoking movie or anything. But it was enjoyable, most of the plot developments made sense (even if many of them were kinda predictable), and Javier Botet did a great job as the entity, like he always does.

The Evil Down the Street (2019)

I feel bad

[2/10 · 4 June 2024]

I don't know, I honestly don't know. I'm usually more forgiving when it comes to bad movies, but this was kind of painful. I guess I'll start with the good, though.

The cinematography and lighting were decent, even good at times. The three neighbour characters were entertaining. I found them all to behave like human beings. The acting from the daughters is okay, compared to Katie, and the father is sometimes good. And the movie was good at building up to a really tense moment... but that brings me to the negatives.

It may have been good at building UP to something, but it was terrible at paying it off. For example, the scene where Katie is in Maddy's room then hides when Michael comes in... it was so good at first because we, the audience, had the dramatic irony of knowing Katie was in there while the characters thought they were safe. What would Katie do? Would she wait until Michael left the room? Well, apparently she would just step out and say something in an irritated manner. Which was a letdown. Then later, she was standing on the stairs with a knife at night. They were using Michael's flashlight to obscure her face, slowly moving up to it. What was gonna happen? Nothing, it turns out. He just helps her up the stairs and they go to bed. And when Kristen was sneaking through Katie's things while she was on her way home... but she was in her room long before Katie reached her, which, again, was underwhelming.

And the acting from Katie was just... wow. Like I don't want to rag on her or anything, but I had a hard time believing anything she said throughout the movie. They seemed to be going for a similar vibe as The Shining, but Jack Nicholson is on a whole other level, and we also got to know Jack Torrance a bit first. We didn't even know Katie, we got like two scenes with her and then she was just suddenly nuts.

The exorcism scene was especially terrible. The acting from both Katie and Father Bob was insane, the editing was hilariously amateur, and then suddenly it's over. Then they're just suddenly a churchgoing family, despite them not actually having shown any indication of being religious until Father Bob showed up.

The sound mixing was also weird. It would go from very quiet to deafeningly loud, mid-sentence. And the transitions between scenes were non-existent, it would just cut to black for a second and then start a new scene. Like, come on! Where's the creativity?

I find myself getting more annoyed with the movie as I type, to be honest. Because while it WAS free on Prime, the fake reviews on here tricked me into wasting over 90 minutes of my night- a work night- with this slow movie that only got worse as it went on.

The writing wasn't good, either. The dialogue felt so stilted. Things like "daddy-o" and "silly goat" were said completely unironically, and the once-snarky daughters were eventually asking to be excused from the dinner table. Their personalities changed very abruptly. If it was meant to be development into a more respectful demeanour, we didn't really see that growth onscreen.

I like movies that rely more on scares than gore. But this wasn't either. I don't know what it was relying on. I do feel bad because people worked on this movie, but I'm so irritated that I wasted so much time on it.

Static Shock: The Big Leagues (2002) Season 2, Episode 1

A major step down

[2/10 · 19 March 2020]

After the stellar work that was Season 1, this one episode undid a lot of it. Ruining Ebon's momentum, weak writing and character motivation for the Joker, unnecessary and out-of-place cartoon sound effects, and irritating slow rap songs during fight scenes make this show's direction from this point forward questionable.

Young Hercules: Sisters (1998) Season 1, Episode 29

A fun episode

[10/10 · 12 February 2020]

Throughout Young Hercules, Angela Marie Dotchin was a scene-stealer as Kora/The Huntress, and here she was able to fully stretch her ability to steal the entire episode.

The plot is typical, and includes one sister trying to be like the other sister in order to fit in. But Dotchin sells it with such subtlety at first using mostly her facial expressions, and it's actually enjoyable to watch, despite being a story we've seen a hundred times.

When Kora actually does put on her sister's clothes and try to act like her, it's such a hilarious contrast and unlike the way this is usually handled, she realized very quickly that this was a bad idea, and this wasn't her. In other shows this normally would have gone on for a while.

The villain of the episode is a loan shark named Don Corleonus; yes, complete with the Godfather theme, the Vito Corleone accent, and a subtle reference to "Look at how they massacred my boy!" Corleonus is rarely in it, but his Brando-like delivery and his interactions with the totally unimpressed Kora makes for some great comedy.

Iolaus was strangely absent for this episode, leaving Hercules and Jason as the heroes who had to rescue Kora after Corleonus kidnapped her, having mistaken her for her sister Cleo. Either way, Kora manages to escape Corleonus on her own once the guards are distracted. My guess for her not bringing out the Huntress for this is that she knew she wasn't in any real trouble and would escape soon.

Midway through the episode there is a very cheesy moment where Hercules and Jason are dancing to music performed by a band that Cleo hired, and I couldn't help but crack up at just how 90's it is.

The sound effects were on the cartoonier side this time around, including motorcycle sounds when Hercules and Jason were dancing and pretending to grip bike handles; a "Boink" sound when Kora bounces her eyebrows flirtatiously; and a lot of "Whoosh" noises typical of the Xenaverse.

I guess to sum up, this episode is pure 90's cheese mixed with a great performance from Dotchin, and it's just an easygoing 22 minutes. Would recommend to any fans of the Xenaverse.