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AVP: Alien vs. Predator (2004)
Paul W.S. Anderson - NEVER direct AGAIN!
Mortal Kombat, Resident Evil - alright, i'll swallow those pills because of the material those films are based on. Those movies feel like video games for a reason, but to take a beloved franchise like Alien and a fanboy favourite in Predator and throw them into this re-hashed, stereotypical and predictable film is something that really upsets me.
I'm now amazed looking back on the Quicktime.com production featurettes that show Anderson, cast and crew fluffing this movie and promising to stay true to what the previous franchises had accomplished. Touting that the claustrophobia and darkness of (especcially) the first two Alien installments would once again grip the audience in AVP is now officially recognized as bullsh*t. Anderson and co. even managed to make the once seemingly invincible Predator come off as second rate by killing two of the hunters off early in the film. Granted, the Predator's game of hunting this time is more challenging than running down clueless humans in a jungle, but c'mon - this is a hunting GAME designed by the Predator race - i didn't expect two of them to be wasted so quickly and easily as they were in AVP.
The human characters were all stereotypes with their actions and mannerisms completely predictable. we've seen the formula COUNTLESS times before - (especcially in B-rate HBO late-night movies.) Again, the lead female, Alexa Wood, slashes through the Aliens and runs side by side with the Predator like its a days work. She slays multiple Aliens and contributes to the death of the Queen - something every other human in the Alien franchise had a weeee bit of trouble with.
Anderson made a by-the-book expensive sci-fi video game flick better suited on the rental shelf next to Starship Troopers 2. Go ahead and play through the quicktime featurettes and listen to the director spew self-gratifying trash out of his mouth. I surely hope this marks the end of both franchises - at least for a long long time until someone worthy can resurrect either or mantle.