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25 out of 38 people found the following review useful:
An abomination of all that is right in this world., 26 June 2006

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

This is my first movie review. Prior to this, I had no intention nor any reason that would provoke me to respond to a movie by writing a review. I feel that if you are going to spend ten or twenty minutes of your life in front of a computer in order to deliver a message about a movie to random strangers, the movie has either impressed you and you want to extol the sheer brilliance that you have just witnessed, or the movie was so bad that you want to JUST WARN PEOPLE TO STAY AWAY FROM IT! In the case of The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift, this is a HUGE WARNING. If you have a moment, take some time to read ahead and explore the crapfest that is The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift.

Much, if not all, of this movie is crowded with higher tier actors (Vin Diesel at the end is the only exception... and to be honest... he's not even that great of an actor.. he's just good at his static, one dimensional character roles which require minimal talent). Lucas Black (you know..... that guy from Friday Night Lights...) hardly does any real acting. And of course, Bow Wow tops the list of amazing and talented actors that make up this movie (let's not forget other classic Bow Wow movies such as Johnson's Family Vacation...).

Clearly, the script was written by a seventh grader. I see no possible way that a living and breathing human being can come up with so much horrible, gut-wrenching, cheesy, mindless dialogue. Some of the lines are also completely irrelevant to the "storyline" of the movie. They make the characters try to sound deep, but instead they created the biggest over indulgent piece of crap ever known to man. Ten minutes into the movie, and you'll notice the problematic script. Yet the dialogue, sad to say, is not the least of its problems.

The storyline. Man, wow............................................................ ............................................................... where do I begin?

Sean Boswell is a seventeen year old student who loves to race cars. Challenging the rich kid, he completely destroys his car and is just a short step away from juvy. Instead, he gets sent to Tokyo to live with his father. So far, the plot makes sense. Here's where it goes wrong. Sean Boswell gets drawn to the racing world.... Then an hour of complete crap happens, he learns to drift, and he challenges the nephew of the local mob boss to a race, making it clear to his father that "he has to fix this" ----> yea.... I'm just as lost as you are, the dialogue doesn't help either. Then he wins the race (surprise surprise) and instantly becomes the new King of the racing world. Oh and guess what, he also wins the girl! no movie would be complete unless the guy wins the girl. Anyways, there really is no set plot here. A guy looking to stay out of trouble suddenly becomes the hottest thing in underground racing. Not to mention, the mob boss is a pansy. There really is no bad guy in this movie. You'd figure it would take more than a race for some seventeen year old kid to prove himself to THE MOB. Granted this goes down as a partial mob movie, it is probably the most inaccurate and stupid mob movie of all time.

Basically this movie comes down to good looking cars, fast paced action, and Asian cleavage. What the film lacks in consistency, dialogue, acting, and everything else that makes a movie great, it tries to make up for in tight Asian skirts and huge breasts.

What gives this movie any hope for a great review is the fast paced racing scenes. If there is anything Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift has done right, it's the racing scenes. I must admit, they were pretty entertaining to watch.

Yet that still does not make up for the poor acting, horrible script, and senseless/ridiculous plot that is The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift. Had the filmmakers polished up some of these areas, this film might have a fighting chance for a good review.

However, right now that is not the case. The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift is a horrible abomination of everything that is right in this world. So far it has prompted a loser like me to sit here at one o'clock in the morning and issue this review/warning to avoid this movie at all costs. Period.