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2/10
Not worth your time... unless you are like 15
1 November 2022
So, this movie is really bad.

Poor decisions from hair to outfits. It is really hard to see what they were going for. Unfortunately, it isn't so bad that it is good. It is just bad.

This is supposed to be an action film with japanese swords. Except, only one actor knows how to hold the sword, and everyone else looks like they had a week to try and figure it out.

There is a lot of "action". However, out of the hundreds of techniques, maybe 5 would actually work.

A lot of the combat aspect is so bad I found myself laughing.

If someone is like 10 and doesn't understand anything about combat/swords whatever, and doesn't care about a good story- then this movie would be probably entertaining enough.

Conclusion: There is no reason to waste your time with Blade of the 47 Ronin because there is so much good content to watch on netflix (and other streaming platforms)... you can do A LOT better.
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A Wedding for Christmas (2018 TV Movie)
1/10
Really bad, hard to watch
31 January 2021
This movie had a lot wrong with it. Probably the most glaring problem was that the Christine Prosperi's acting + a sub-par script. I haven't seen any of Christine's other work but for _this_ movie she wasn't able to carry the role. The worst actor in the movie shouldn't be the lead. I broke out laughing at her "fake typing" skills. I can understand someone faking an instrument that they don't know but the fake typing was bad. The movie cuts corners in a lot of ways. You'd just have to watch to see...or just skip it.
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A Christmas Movie Christmas (2019 TV Movie)
8/10
A "parody" that is better than at least half of the Christmas-Romance-Movies.
25 January 2021
Perhaps there is something wrong with a genera if a spoof movie bests the majority of actual movies of that genera. Or perhaps, it is just good writing. This movie was pretty darn good and I would recommend it. From the bit about "waking up with hair done and make up" till the end, this movie does something magical by being a funny parody and yet still holding together as its own movie. Impressive.
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A Christmas Solo (2017 TV Movie)
10/10
Not just a good "Christmas Movie" but a good movie...movie.
22 January 2021
Christmas Solo is a delicacy amidst a sea of "Christmas cookie cutter" movies. There are no "weak" elements of the movie. Acting, wardrobe, everything is good. The chemistry between the parents is amazing. This isn't a typical romance movie and yet they are so good that they "sell it" anyway. Every scene with them together is believable and not under-acted nor over-acted. It is "just right". This will seem a bit random, but whoever was on hair did an incredible job. Jennifer's (Kelly William's) hair always looks AMAZING. In many Christmas movies, there is some kind of pain that the main character(s) is having to overcome from the past. However, it feels more like just "backstory". Here, the pain of well...all of the four character's pasts is very much real and in the story. Great storytelling, great story. Nicely written too. I highly recommend this movie.
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8/10
While not original, it is a Solid "Christmance" movie.
14 January 2021
This movie was a breath of fresh air, especially after watching a few horrible Christmas Romance movies. Acting and scenery were all spot on. The duchess was a bit...overdone but everything else worked nicely. The camera work and cinematography was amazing. Kudos to whoever did the wardrobe, it was extremely well done. There isn't a whole lot more I could say about this movie and that is actually a good thing because instead of being "out of the movie" and thinking about reviewing it, I was instead sucked into the film and was enjoying the experience. Worth a watch.
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A Prince for Christmas (2015 TV Movie)
5/10
So...so. Scratches the itch but not great.
13 January 2021
Warning: Spoilers
Let me summarize the entire experience: At first you might think that you accidentally clicked on a spiderman movie, but then you realize that the lead male isn't Tom Holland but someone who could easily pass as his brother (Kirk Barker). Next you are introduced to the female lead who can't manage to use a syrup bottle--- but then you realize that she purposely didn't squirt it because she and her sister grab the waffle like it was a hamburger, which begs the question, "Why was there a syrup bottle there in the first place?" The next thing you see is the ugliest painted tudor B&B that looks like it belongs in a Dr. Seuss book rather than in a cozy town. You come to learn that the prince (Kirk Barker) has a magical jacket that has the power to remove all snow and wetness whenever there is a camera cut. (Serious voice now) Probably the best part of the movie happens an hour into it where a 17 year old gives sage words of advice. I take that kind of advice and back it 100% in real life. (back to slight-sarcastic review voice) In the big romantic date scene where the main female character get's her "all about her" narcissistic moment- you are suddenly pulled out of the fantasy world by a "fake violin" playing that is so fake that while you can forget about syrup and a trite story, and the fact that these character's will probably get married after 3 days of knowing each other, you just can't get over the fakeness of the violin playing. The insult to injury comes in the form of a few lame flash-back montages that only seem to work in korean dramas. They just don't really help in this movie. The final pan up in the movie is pretty lame too. So, was there anything else good in the movie? Yes actually. It was refreshing to watch a "christmasee romance movie" where the lead male character isn't some cardboard one-dimensional object but rather an actual human being with character development. In fact, it seems like both characters learn a bit from one another (as good couples do). Acting was also pretty decent and dialogue was good-enough. Overall, not a bad movie, not a good movie. Just meh
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Merry Kissmas (2015 TV Movie)
2/10
More like Christmiss, because it misses the mark in every important way.
9 January 2021
Warning: Spoilers
Imagine a movie with a gorgeous cast and a good budget. That is what the movie has going for it and that is it. I was going to comment on how consistent the movie is...but they ruined it with the final scene where they recycled footage from an earlier scene in the movie...didn't bother changing hair/clothing even. Good lord. As in all movies, the cups were empty and the actors did their best to fake drink. My favorite part of the movie was watching the lead lady (Karissa Lee Staples) take a bite of pizza. She looked like she was actually eating it. The moment was so convincing that I couldn't tell if she really was eating the pizza or not. So, with an attractive cast and a decent budget...why did the movie fail? It is because the writers/directors fail at telling a love story. Spoiler alert: The two main character's meet for the first time with "her" running into his arms and kissing him. It was awkward and kind of the opposite of a 'meet cute'. In fact, the romance in the story was forced and awkward the entire way through from the beginning until the end with only a couple decent scenes. Like two. If the writer's/directors think that having other female character's say "you are good together", and gaslighting with phrases like, "You look so sad" in order to try and force a romance story along then just...give up. In order to make the new guy seem like a good match, the movie completely overdid the ridiculous character of the antagonist Carlos. Bleh, just skip this movie.
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The Christmas Contract (2018 TV Movie)
8/10
Pretty Solid chirstmas-romance movie
5 October 2020
So the movie hits all the "familiar" beats. It is definitely worth the watch. Good dialogue and chemistry between all actors. If I had the power to change three things it would be. 1. fix the scene where she is "faking" on the instrument. 2. Change the design of the lead male's glasses (yea I get it, he's a writer so he has big hipster glasses) 3. I'd change the final scene of the movie, (very ending) -it could have been shot a lot better.
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1/10
Save yourself a night and just pass.
23 August 2020
This movie starts off ok. Then fails repeatedly. Watching this movie is like going on a date where in the first twenty minutes you know it just isn't going to work but you stick it out and are left disappointing. Hard pass.
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A Bride for Christmas (2012 TV Movie)
8/10
Good enough to scratch the "christmas romance itch".
20 June 2020
Warning: Spoilers
If you are watching this movie then odds are that you've seen 1,000 movies like this. You already know how it will begin, how it will end. Here are some of my thoughts on it: The hair stylist is AMAZING! Jessie's (Arielle Kebbel) hair looks perfect in EVERY scene. Kudos also to whoever picked out the wardrobes. The clothing and styles were spot on and so "right" for every scene that you hardly noticed. I love movies that have clothing with some wear-and-tear, it felt natural and organic. Only thing I'd change about the ending, would to have the movie end with Jessie's sister sneezing. Anyways, enjoy.
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8/10
Solid movie with higher-than-typical budget for this genera
16 January 2020
Warning: Spoilers
Vanessa Hudgens does a fantastic acting job as she pulls off two characters, (really four) because... (each character on their own = 2) + (A version of each character pretending to be the other = 2).... 2+2=4. That is the one part of the review you can't argue with. This movie is just like many others from the genera except it has a much larger budget and it shows. Overall this movie is solid in every way from acting to set design. There is incredible detail such as the tree-ornaments weaved into the design of a horse-drawn carriage. All the clothing looks amazing. Everything is perfect. If I had to knit-pick, then I would say I felt bad for the butler who technically wasn't a bad guy. He's just trying to do his job and got the brunt of the bad humor (and some cheesy falling off a balcony scene..they could have left that out on the cutting floor). Come to think of it, there is a character who is never really explained, you know the one, the guy who has magic powers or some special christmas magic whatever. The whole movie was weakened by using him as a plot device (aka bad writing) in order to push the story forward at certain points. Anyways, the conclusion: The movie is a solid Christmas Romance Movie with a couple touching parts but doesn't dive deep enough into true theme and meaning of the human condition...what the heck am I saying there. It is kinda shallow, one of those "falling in love in two days" I dunno. Maybe I'm a guy and I shouldn't be reviewing these kinds of movies.
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Christmas Lodge (2011 TV Movie)
6/10
Decent overall story but some parts are as forced as the ridiculous soundtrack
13 January 2020
Warning: Spoilers
The overall story arc is good form beginning to the conclusion. The characters are well put together and the acting does the character's justice (great casting). So why does this movie only have 6 of possible 10 stars? Because there are some flaws that exist. One major flaw that was annoying from the intro to the closing was the music choice. The music is actually good. The problem is the timing and placement of it in the movie. It is just ill-conceived and poorly executed. It makes an otherwise good movie feel campy. In fact, I believe the entire movie would have been better off if they had left the soundtrack completely out of the movie. The final "slap in the face" was (spoiler alert) the violin playing at the very end. The actor actually did a great job. As a professional violinist, I can tell you that he must have worked to get his right hand grip looking well and his left hand and set-up was passable (for anyone who cares). Then, the soundtrack (which was bad from the beginning) comes in with violin music that isn't remotely what the actor is trying to perform. It is just...bad. Next failure: I don't mind religious undertones in movies but this one felt forced and -like the music- ill-placed in the movie. It just wasn't done right. Didn't feel right either. Lastly, the relationship/romance was completely non-existent and felt rushed by the very end. Bleh. To conclude, the movie has some heartfelt moments and a good overall storyline and characters but gets lost in the execution.
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Hometown Holiday (2018 TV Movie)
8/10
Fun and worth watching
12 January 2020
Hello friends, I won't "steer" you wrong with this small town rancher flick :D The movie rough for the first like 20%. There were some obvious poor choices in shots and direction and in addition to that there were a couple "cringey" acting scenes. However, the movie in my opinion completely redeems itself by the end. As far as these movies go, there are a couple really hilarious scenes. I tfelt like the lead man could have been well... a better actor. I said to myself, "man this guy is kinda boring and lame and the lead female is so optimistic and bright and outgoing..." then I paused, and I remembered that I had seen many couples like that in real life. If you ignore a couple rough acting scenes, the movie holds together really well. The lead male's sister and her husband are the true stars of the show. They are perfect and their acting is spot on. Great chemistry. The brother-in-law is hilarious! Overall, definitely worth the watch!
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8/10
Great movie with heart that would have been perfect but for a sub-par romance story
7 January 2020
Warning: Spoilers
I'm going to be ultra picky in some areas with this movie. Please forgive me if my analysis radar is off. It is 2019 and it can be hard to remember how things were in 2009. In a time of yellow pages and Motorola flip phones exists this amazing movie called Christmas Angel. Unfortunately (or fortunately) for those who watch these kind of movies for another Christmas-Romance-Story, you'll be mostly disappointed. With all the Christmas "cookie cutter" romance movies out there, that actually might be a good thing. This movie has a lot of heart. Made me cry like a little baby. Several times. Luckily, no one reads these reviews so I'm pretty safe admitting that. -Specific details- One of the main characters who uses a cane, wasn't taught how to use it correctly and it is obvious by the way he uses it on the wrong side of the body. Another main character has a dog, but a lot of times she doesn't take it out...I know this is a silly detail but - poor puppy. It is a small detail, but there are a lot of times where someone will dial a phone number and instantly they are on the phone with someone, as if it didn't have time to ring. This happens enough that it takes you out of the mostly realistic story and reminds you that they aren't really using a phone. Picky...but still. One detail thing that I really enjoyed was seeing the writer character actually type on the keyboard while he was using it. Someone actually typing what they are saying and their hands actually moving correctly is often a rarity in movies-even in 2019. On a quick aside, I still don't know why in driving scenes, the driver tends to move the steering wheel left and right wildly like in a racing- 'video game' when they are driving straight down the road. Anyways...back to the movie. Oh, I thought that the very last series of "final shots" made no sense and were pointless. One could have finished that movie with an infinite number of shots that would have been better (more suited to the theme or relevant to the last line of dialogue or...anything really). A lame ending to a well crafted movie. -Now for the Broad Strokes- Acting and casting: The acting and casting was all fantastic. The dialogue was amazingly well written and had the fluid "real life" dialogue similar to movies like The Before Trilogy. The downside to that, is when the dialogue isn't as good, then it really sticks out because the rest of it is amazing. In most movies of this "ilk" the dialogue is pretty bad and so bad dialogue is just, part of the mess. It is because of the talented writing of 95% of the movie that the 5% that isn't as good really jumps out. I enjoyed the realistic dialogue. It wasn't campy at all and surprisingly intelligent and logical in many areas. Not what I was expecting (in a good way). The music is of good quality, as a musician I feel like I have some weight on the matter. Unfortunately, the music for the movie is over-the-top "shmaltzy" while the dialogue and setting are very realistic which leads to a few scenes that just feel off or odd. As if the movie didn't know what kind of movie it was trying to be. There was a nice realistic touch to the movie and unfortunately perhaps the romance or relationships were a bit too realistic. It was hard to like some of the main characters, and in some weird combination of dialogue and character made for the romance aspect of the story to just fall short. When the romance did occur, it felt forced (especially with that bad over the top music). If I had half the interactions that those characters did, then well there wouldn't be any more relationship, never-mind romance. Some parts of this movie makes the romance of the Star Wars Prequel (junk) seem amazing...that is really harsh. It is almost on that level though. ::Conclusion:: Even with all of the little-flaws and bad-romance, the movie ends up being heart warming and amazing. The overall messages that the movie is conveying outweighs the fantasy-Christmas-romance themes in most Christmas movies. The closing of side-story plots was also a nice tying of the bow that sealed this hidden Christmas Present. If only the love story was better...*&*^. It could have actually ended up being a classic. To the .00001% of you who read this review: I hope you enjoyed!
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Christmas with a Prince (2018 TV Movie)
4/10
It will scratch that "itch" for this kind of movie, but others do it better.
2 January 2020
So, the lighting was amazing and dialogue was "above average" for this kind of movie. The film suffered from attention to detail and rushed character arcs and development. Attention to detail: 1. Royal outfits. I feel like the royal outfits at the end of the movie were cheesy. The ribbons didn't look right, material looked cheap...I dunno it sort of ruined an aspect of the look. Unfortunately, when outfits like that don't look right, they end up coming across as very cheesy. 2. Doctor Smockter. Kaitlyn is a good actor and shows a lot of emotion through the movie. That being said, there apparently was zero training/prep for her to actually behave remotely like a doctor. The dialogue (though great for this kind of movie- and amazing in certain scenes) didn't even try to be technically accurate at all. Just the way she handle's the patient's charts in some scenes is comical. Someone should have done their job checking for professional accuracy. 3. There is one. Just one big musical number by guest country star Genevieve Fisher and they couldn't get the audio right on it. The sync between the video and audio is noticeably off to where it looks like she is lip syncing. WHY WOULD YOU GET AN AMAZING TALENTED SINGER THEN HAVE IT LOOK FAKE? Sorry, that is my musician side coming out. Kudos for getting a real artist. The guitarist was good too! ------ The Story & Characters The story and set up was plausible enough. I really ended up enjoying a lot of the interplay and character-moments between both the main cast as well as the supporting cast. The romance between supporting actors Josh Dean and the very beautiful Melinda Shankar was, in some aspects, more interesting and fun than the romance of the main two characters. I feel that the ending scene between the two was a bit "rushed". A lot of times movies like this will have side characters (like an older couple- usually a parent of the female lead's character and another) who have a side-romance, and it is so fake and choppy. This one was actually fun. Their action was great for both of their characters and in some scenes where Josh's character was "ultra campy" was obviously more the fault of a section of weak writing and not the actor's fault. The children in this movie are adorable. Children actors are really a "roll of the dice" when it comes to quality, and in this movie they did quite well. ------ My favorite scene: There is a scene at the end of the movie between Dr. Tasha Mason (Kaitlyn) and King Edward (Charles Shaughnessy). The dialogue was exceptional and the delivery incredible. It was because of the talent of Charles that I've added him to the list of male actors with incredible voices. Actors such as Idris Elba, Liam Neeson, Morgan Freeman and others. The lighting on him was amazing too...could have been like 5% better on Kaitlyn but that is very picky. Anyways, the lighting, his voice, the dialogue was just incredible and for a scene the movie transcended other films of this ilk and became something more. Something like a high quality movie. Something I would want to watch...and I did, re-watch that specific monologue quite a few times. Thank you for reading!
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The Witcher (2019– )
8/10
The complete review with regards to the: Book, Games, and Polish TV show.
21 December 2019
Warning: Spoilers
Hello fellow human beings. I am a huge witcher fan and just finished watching all of The Witcher 2019. This is my review broken down into four sections: 1. Overall review (taking in the series in broad strokes) 2. Continuity between the tv show and book/games/polish tv show 3. Casting & Acting performances 4. Technical details (lightning, fight choreography, music, and so on...) ------------------------------- 1. Overall: I am a huge fan of the Witcher as a story. Over the past five years I have been completely sucked into the world that author and creator Andres Sapkowski formed. It is because of my passion for the world of the witcher that I thought, going into the movie, that I would either love it, or hate it. However, after watching it I was left with a neither strong love nor hate feeling. It was, good but not amazing. That is why I gave it an 8-star review. - 2. Continuity & storyline: Overall, I feel that the story was true to the book and they took liberty in describing events that occurred in the book but were referenced to as opposed to being described out: Yennifer's backstory, Mage training, and the battle of Soden Hill. I originally scratched my head when trying to understand why they chose to film certain stories over others, but by the end of the series I realized that they were trying to make it all flow together. There are pros and cons to this. The pro: For new viewers to the witcher, it is a quick way bringing people "up to speed" with the main elements of the story. The con: Much of the richness of the world is lost, and a bit of the story feels rushed with noticeable time jumps throughout. This first season could have very easily been two seasons. I do not claim to understand the director's intent: They might want to get to the fun parts with Ciri later on and perhaps past where the book left off in order to have more creative license. Even if that is their goal, I still would have liked them to take their time more with the development of the story and the charaters...speaking of characters. - 3. Casting & Acting Performances In general all the acting was very good and so one was able to overlook the casting choices in most instances. Geralt - Henry. He was able to pull off Geralt very well, though at times his "prince-like" face didn't match the gritty "witcher" voice so it felt a bit forced at times. That being said, he ABSOLUTELY nailed the voice. It was obvious he had really studied the voice of Geralt from the audio book of the Witcher and/or the great voice acting in the witcher by Doug Cockle. Henry's skilled acting and spot-on voice made him very passable at Geralt though I would have liked to see an actor with a "rougher" face. Yennifer - Anya, Anya didn't have the appearance of how I pictured Yennifer from the book, nor how she was depicted in both the games and polish tv show "hexer". That being said, she was close enough and when Anya began acting you quickly forgot about the slight details and became lost in her skilled performance. I enjoyed seeing her back story and I can't wait for them to go into more detail about her in the future. Ciri - Freya was simply the best cast role in the entire series. She absolutely looks the part from her hair/eyes/makeup detail. Even her bone structure lets one easily see her as being of elven heritage (from the depiction of elves in typical tolkien fantasy novels). Her acting is also superb. There was no point in the series when watching Freya, did I think "oh she's just acting". Great! Jaskier - Joey was a great pick for Jaskier. I felt that he has both the look, voice (speaking) and musical talents (singing/performing instruments) and behaviorism's of Jaskier from the novel and games as well. He is probably just as well cast as Ciri when one is comparing the actors to the previous renditions of the characters. Triss - Anna unfortunately was a poor choice for Triss Merigold. The first impression of her looks, is completely different from the book series and the games. She could have pulled it off with acting (and perhaps better writing), but unfortunately the biggest aspect of the character that was different was her "vibe". The Triss from the book series/games/polish show had three main character traits: 1. She had a fiery personality. 2. She was naievly optimistic. 3. Mischievous. Then besides those, there was an obvious physical attraction to Geralt. I didn't sense any of that from the tv show. She was just another one of the mages. Two other great casting choices Vilgefortz - Mahesh doesn't look like Vilgefortz from the book (and swords instead of staves?) yet I feel that his acting was great and he really pulled off the character. One does question the sudden choice to have him go near the end...seemed out of place. Tissia - MyAnna did such an amazing job with this role that I can't picture anyone else being Tissia now. Supporting actors: This is the part where I feel the casting directors did a great job. Many of the supporting actors looked perfect for the part and their acting was good. Overall, the acting saved scenes that were otherwise poorly written with bad dialogue or not enough direction. - 4. Technical Details: On Screen Chemistry: There was so much great chemistry between various characters both supporting and main. Missed opportunities: The saddest part about this whole series is that I really didn't feel the amazing on-screen back-and-forth chemistry between Henry and Joey. One of my favorite parts of the book was the banter between the Witcher and Jaskier. In the show, it is obvious that they are both great at acting out their parts yet when they are together I don't feel the same "Batman & Joker" teaming up feel that I got from the book. In one scene they are both capture by the elves and I remember from the books Jaskier trying to talk his way out of it and Geralt telling him to "shut up". Yet, none of that came through in the tv show and it just felt...weird. Fight Choreography- Overall it was a lot of fun to watch. Unfortunately, it is a lot easier to jump-cut and change camera angles than to train people in how to use weapons. Many of the fight sequences were just random shots of people getting run through, or battlefield chaos with no strategy. Such as the first battle we are shown in the first episode where there is no strategy, no nothing. We don't really have a good view of the terrain. All we know is that one army is a lot bigger than the other army. I want more :( One could tell that Henry worked extremely hard on the fight choreography. His technique wasn't amazing but he got the overall flow of the combat and movement and so 99% of all viewers are going to absolutely love it. He got as good as I would expect for an actor to get. For the purists: What I mean by not perfect: some techniques were not anatomically possible, or the sword came off plane "scooped", or simply was cutting at one angle while the body was sliced at a different angle. Again, most audience members won't be able to see these so overall. Great job. Vildefortz using swords...That might have been in previous parts of the book...but wasn't he amazing with a staff? What happened? Musicianship: Like combat, music tends to be faked in modern media. I was very happy to see that Joey (Jaskier) could really sing and he was a decent musician as well! I watched closely during the wedding scene when he plays with the other minstrels and they all appear to be legitimate musicians. It added to the realism of the world and I really enjoyed the attention to detail. However, there is another scene (I believe in a tavern) where the lute player is obviously just randomly moving his fingers about (or they didn't sync the sound right to it). If they are going to go through the trouble of hiring good musicians then they should do it throughout. Continuity. One small detail, I didn't like how Jaskier would seem to be starting up a song or making up something and the entire tavern would suddenly sing along as if it was a local favorite. The director should have been pickier as to when something would have been a well-known song or not. Lighting and Music: I really, really liked the lightning choices in the show. There were some scenes that were completely perfect. The music was adequate but not memorable. I would have liked to have at least one or two songs that were more memorable. I know that is a personal choice...completely subjective. There you have it. I'm extremely excited to see what happens in the next season...one fear I have is The Witcher gets out by Disney... and they pull the same crap with Geralt and Ciri that happened with Luke and Rey. That would be stupid would it be? yea it would be... Thank you for reading and have a great day!
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