Reviews written by registered user
learagent

3 reviews in total 
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4 out of 5 people found the following review useful:
Like watching a K-Tel commercial, 27 October 2008
1/10

Another terrible Hollywood remake of a remake of a remake. An old story that scared in the naive 50's with the Cold War and the first understanding of biological warfare terrifying the world for real. It just doesn't have the same bite or intensity in today's world. Not to mention the existence of any number of identical-topic movies with minor variations in theme, and audiences will readily experience a tired deja vu. Praying for something new after having plunked down $15 will, however, be a waste of time.

Will Smith's performance? No better than a copy of the hackneyed portrayal of the same character by Charlton Heston in the last remake - one-dimensional and shallow. Shame on Smith for doing this low-grade movie. I expect to next see Smith doing 30-minute TV commercials for KTel or the next incarnation of the "Thigh Master".

While still not the best, the Heston remake - "The Omega Man" - at least had a compelling story that gave pause for thought. Save yourself a lot of grief and money, and rent "The Omega Man" instead.

2 out of 11 people found the following review useful:
Nothing else to do? Don't watch this movie, 31 March 2007
1/10

This was such a waste of time. Danger: If you watch it you will be tempted to tear your DVD out of the wall and heave it thru the window.

An amateur production: terrible, repetitive, vacuous dialog; paper-thin plot line; wooden performances; Lucy Lawless was pathetically hackneyed.

Seriously flawed story, completely unbelievable characters. The two worst concepts in film and t.v. are: (1) the evil twin, (2) amnesia. There are no twins.

The plot "twist"? Outrageously simplistic and obvious - like watching a train coming down the track in the middle of the day on the prairies. It doesn't even resolve properly. The evil is not punished for the original crime.

Please, please, please - don't watch this even if its free and your only other choice is to go to a synagogue.

King Kong (2005)
1 out of 5 people found the following review useful:
Two Zombies and an Ape, 8 May 2006
1/10

Naomi Watts - Zombie #1 - the alleged heroine. Adrien Brody - Zombie #2 - the alleged hero.

Zombie #1 must never have read the script, the book, or seen any of the King Kong movies. And a lot of acting lessons would help. She moves through this remake in a stilted, dead manner reserved only for the brain dead or those actresses getting parts auditioning on the couch. The only lasting impressions of her acting were her blonde hair and her buck teeth - can her lips actually meet?

Zombie #2 must have eaten the same brain-killing powder as Zombie #1. His vacuous stare throughout the movie reminded me of those people who sleep with their eyes open. He should take his earnings from this movie and invest in a brain transplant, acting lessons, and a nose job. That honker scared me more than the ape did.

Even the supporting actors had significantly better performances than the two Zombies. The ship's Captain and his First Mate were bang on true-to-character.

Jack Black as the shifty movie producer/director did a very credible job. His was the only redeeming principal character.

But what would a remake be without a new twist and lots of computer graphics? Face it, the twist and the graphics made this movie. In fact, forget the story line, drop the two zombies and the ending, and you'd have a pretty decent movie.

Borrow this one from a friend - and save your money.