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The Bourne Ultimatum (2007)
Bourne 3: Saving the Earth by Re-Cycling
"The Bourne Ultimatum" (B-3) is the third installment in the series (after B-1 and B-2). It helps greatly to have seen the previous two if you want to follow the plot, but it might also be an advantage to have NOT seen the previous two if you don't want to know basically everything that will happen during the film.
B-3 uses the same plot devices as the first two movies, it just shifts the locations and the people involved. There are the now requisite fight, car chase, and sniper scenes. Two scenes from B-2 in particular are replicated in B-3: (1) Jason Bourne spies on a CIA office from across the street, and (2) there is a grueling car crash involving Bourne and "the bad guy." There are several flashback, memory, dream sequences, some of which are new, and others are from B-1 and B-2 to help those new to the series to understand what occurred previously. Like I said, B-3 re-cycles both plot elements and actual scenes from the previous two.
Memo to Jason Bourne: If you're on the run and attempting to hide, please turn to page 3 of the "Super Spy Handbook" and re-read the section on disguises. Apparently only females are allowed to color and cut their hair to alter their look. One would think that a super duper spy like Jason Bourne (who in the first film had colored contacts and was shown with his hair dyed) would either shave his head, or let his hair grow long. Perhaps he could sport some glasses or sunglasses. How about growing a goatee, mustache, or beard? Heck, drop by the local joke shop and buy some Groucho Marx nose/glasses!!! Wear a hat! Anything, instead of keeping your exact same mug and looking directly into the not hidden cameras! Memo to CIA: Go to Home Depot at your first opportunity and buy some venetian blinds for your offices. In case you haven't figured it out by now, any kid with a toy telescope can spy on you from the office building across the street.
Memo to Real CIA: Disregard the previous comment directed at the script writers. I'm sure in the real world you're competent enough to keep your curtains drawn.
MEGA SPOILER BELOW:
Do NOT read further if you do not want to know how this movie ends. Okay you've been warned, and I will continue to babble so that someone does not inadvertently look at the spoiler. Here goes: JasonBournesurvivesAtenStoryFallintotheEastRiverinNewyorkcity. He must be kin to Johnny Weissmuller (see "Tarzan's New York Adventure"). ThisSetsupthePossibilityofB-4.
(1) I give this movie 6 out of 10 stars, or 2 out of 4, or 3 out of 5, and (2) wait for the DVD.
The Simpsons Movie (2007)
Below Average. Few Laughs. Don't Take the Kids.
Since children are naturally attracted to cartoons, there should be a new rating for cartoons which are inappropriate for children under 13. PG-13 is not strong enough. It should have been rated:
I know, I know, such a rating does not exist. Well it should.
Homer gets it right early in the movie when he stands up during the Itchy and Scratchy cartoon and says that anyone who would pay money to see a movie that they can see for free on TV is a dope. Well apparently Groening (more like "groaning") thinks all his fans are dopes, because the jokes are on us (and very few on the screen).
Among the items children should not see are: there was a robot committing suicide, cartoon nudity, "the finger", and Marge says "God damned". Oh yeah, there's also a scene where her hair catches fire. While such material can be handled by mature adults, I would not recommend taking kids to see this.
(1) Wait for the DVD, and (2) Don't let young kids see it.
Police Academy (1984)
Among the Worst Movies of All Time
Police Academy is not only a waste of money, it's a waste of time. Don't waste either on this truly horrendous so-called comedy. There is not a single laugh in the entire movie.
This movie is so bad that I would hesitate to see any movie with any of the cast, or produced by the same producers, or with the same director.
Perhaps if you're someone who has never been to a movie you might find this one interesting. But like I said, and it's worth repeating: Don't waste your money! Don't waste your time! I only wish Netflix and IMDb would let me rate it a zero, instead of an undeserved one.
Here are my opening two lines again: Police Academy is not only a waste of money, it's a waste of time. Don't waste either on this truly horrendous so-called comedy. There is not a single laugh in the entire movie.