Change Your Image
Upload An Image
Crop And Save
Ugh. So wrong in so many ways, and yet it is already a huge hit.
I had to bump my vote up to a 5 because for everything that is wrong with this movie (and oh, is there a LOT wrong), it does provide some good action scenes and Shia actually does a little bit of good acting (there's a shocker M. Night Shyamalan wouldn't have dreamed up). Everyone has already gone on ad nauseum about the twins, and justifiably so. I can't believe anyone tries to defend their presence in this movie. Along with the obnoxious roommate, they contribute virtually nothing except line after line of offensive dialogue. The second girl is brought in purely to put more sex in the movie. She could have-and SHOULD have-been cut out of the movie completely. The action sequences were good for the most part, but so chaotic you had no idea what was going on most of the time. I had the same issue with the first movie. Pretty much everything, in fact, that was wrong with the first movie was simply amplified and expanded in this one. The worst thing about this movie is that it is marketed straight at kids and it couldn't be less appropriate. And don't give me that "It's PG-13, you should know better" bull. When they are running ads on Disney and Nick and selling toys at Burger King, who do you think they are trying to get into the theater? AND the movie was way too long! If they had cut out all the vulgarity, most of the sex and at least some of the over-the-top violence it would have been the perfect running time and a much better movie. The true shame is that it is already one of the biggest hits in movie history and will only make more money.
Vantage Point (2008)
Decent movie but many flaws (Spoilers)
This was a pretty good movie. The first scene, from Sigourney Weaver's control room view, was absolutely incredible. Unfortunately there were many problems. Maybe I've seen too many movies, but as soon as Matthew Fox separated himself and we only heard him over the radio I immediately guessed that he would be a turncoat--which is close to blasphemy, as a Secret Service agent assigned to the Presidential detail would NEVER DO THIS! Anyone who would even consider allowing such a thing to happen (let alone causing it) would not get the security clearance to be in the Service in the first place--forget the POTUS assignment! Other people have pointed out the convenient placement of characters like the little girl's mom just happening to be right across the street at the and. Dennis Quaid was outstanding. He has gotten much better with age and has started making very good role choices. Forest Whitaker is a good actor, but you wouldn't know it from watching this. All he did the whole movie was wander around looking lost. The constant rewinding was a bit of a nuisance, especially the first time when I was sitting there shocked by the reporter's death and the tragic bombing. A more traditional transition would have been less jarring and more appropriate. Still worth watching, but I'm surprised Secret Service people didn't raise a fury.
The Naked Brothers Band (2007)
Once I got the joke, this became a favorite
When we first saw the commercials for this show, I thought it looked horrible. But once I watched it a couple of times, I got the joke and now I absolutely adore these guys. It's Spinal Tap/Dewey Cox for kids, and it's actually very well done. When Alex ruined the "Polar Bears" press conference by declaring the NBB 'bigger than Santa Claus' I just about fell over laughing. Of course kids these days would not get the Beatles reference, but it was hysterical to me. (for those too young to know what I'm talking about, the Beatles had a similar political disaster when John Lennon remarked that they were bigger than Jesus Christ) The actors have grown on me, and the writing is a lot smarter than I expected. I also love the fact that it is a family project in every aspect. Even if the show weren't a hit, it lets the family work together. Mom and Dad can still be active in the industry without neglecting their kids, and the kids can develop as actors/musicians/celebrities with constant hands-on support from their parents. My wife still hates the name, but it's a minor complaint.
MTV Bash: Carson Daly (2003)
A non-celebrity roastee, unfunny roasters...what could go wrong?
I give this a 2 because there was one actually funny bit: the Tara Reid impersonator doing the best drunk act I've ever seen while Jimmy Kimmel solemnly read the speech he had written for Daly and Reid's wedding. When she came within an inch of vomiting all over Daly I just about wet myself. I will never forget the look on Carson's face as he told Kimmel, "You are SO f***ing WRONG!" The rest of the show was just dreadful. Comedians generally don't sing and almost never rap, unless they have a talent for it. Singers and rappers should return the courtesy and only attempt to tell jokes if they are actually funny. A blessing to us all that this is one show MTV will not re-run a hundred thousand times.
Hang 'Em High (1968)
Decent but flawed
Admittled, I watched this for the first time after my first complete viewing of The Good, the Bad and the Ugly, so it's bound to pale by comparison. It starts out promising. The opening lynching is disturbingly realistic. But (spoiler alert--am I really worrying about spoiling a 40 year old movie?) once he brings back the rustlers things go downhill a little. Inger Stevens role seems completely unnecessary and my wife and I both laughed with dismay that after telling the story of being violated next to her dead husband she is cured of her ills via sex with a man she just met. I've noticed in a few of Clint Eastwood's movies that inappropriate sex with Clint Eastwood seems to solve a lot of problems (see Blood Work...or rather, don't). And the climactic fight with the remaining lynch mob was practically a joke I won't even go into, and then the movie just...ends. Still worth watching despite its flaws, but definitely not the best thing on anybody's resume.
Tin Man (2007)
I wanted to like this, really I did
Just dreadful. Zooey Deschanel, who I usually like, had absolutely no emotion the entire time. I swear she never changed her expression once. It took me four tries before I finally finished watching the tapes. I kept falling asleep. Too dark, too slow, too boring. Cain was the only remotely interesting character, and even he wasn't that interesting. Someone else's review caught it very well, it did remind me of every Final Fantasy RPG where the Darkness and the Light have to join together in the end to bring balance and peace. That's probably why I quit playing those also dreary games. More than anything it reminded me of Highlander 2--a completely unnecessary remake/sequel which felt the need to be futuristic for futuristic's sake, like every science fiction story has to be set in the future or it's not real sci-fi. God, I want those hours of my life back.
A beautiful, glorious, long mess (spoilers)
Just saw it yesterday, and it was about what I was expecting. Too long, took itself too seriously at times, too overblown. There were some good bits, but if not for Johnny Depp this movie would have died quickly. Barbossa was welcome back, though I didn't cotton too much to him and Sparrow getting along and having meaningful conversations at one point. Keira Knightley was badass but way too pretty amid a vast crew of filthy pirates. The movie was far too long. They could easily have trimmed out twenty minutes of 'atmosphere' and battle scenes. Speaking of battle scenes, I had a problem with the big fight at the end. The Pearl and the Dutchman were firing at each other across the center of the maelstrom and blowing each other all to hell, but look at the ships-they are both tilted towards the center, which would mean the cannons would completely miss each other and hit the water below. The endings were great for everybody except Will and Elizabeth. That really sucked. Sparrow should have done the deed, as he had nobody to come back for. I guess it's better than Will dying, but it still sucked. This really made me miss the Curse of the Black Pearl. That was an awesome movie. This series has hit the same problem the Star Wars series faced--reacting to crowd response to a great original movie by trying to turn it into an epic saga. The result in both cases was a ludicrous plot that took forever to get anywhere. If I had Jack's magic compass, it would have been pointing to the theater exit.
We got to see a sneak preview yesterday and I was simply floored. It took me back to the days when my brother introduced me to the original black & white books. Outstanding effort, though not perfect.
The animation was breathtaking, with two exceptions: The humans all looked like they came straight out of the Incredibles. And yes, at the right angle, master Splinter looks a bit like Chester Cheetah. Both are distracting, but not so much that I couldn't get past them. Fortunately the turtles are the main focus and they are simply awesome.
I was worried that it might be too dark and scary for little kids, but my girls (4 and 5 years old) were fine. Some of the monsters looked a little scary but were cartoonish enough to keep it light. Kind of like the characters from Monsters, Inc.
The Shredder was, thankfully, nowhere in sight. Nothing would have ruined this movie for me faster than finding out he was still alive. And the Foot Clan remains, but now must deal with being ronin, the masterless warriors. That to me is so much more interesting than the same bad guy every time.
This movie gets dibs on the title of First Great Movie of the Summer.
Go, Diego! Go! (2005)
Well-intentioned maybe, but something is very wrong with this show...
I hate to tear down something that tries to be positive, but this show has some serious problems. First of all, everyone has already gone over how unoriginal the show is, how it's just Dora for boys. That is no big deal, though. My issue with this program is the message it sends kids:
Baby wild animals are friendly and adorable and they NEED YOUR HELP.
We live in Alaska, where coming across bears is a very real possibility. All I can picture is Diego finding a baby bear:
DIEGO: Oh, look, a baby bear! He needs our help! BABY JAGUAR: Rowr! DIEGO: Look, here comes Mama Bear. She wants to give us a thank-you hug! You're welcome, Mama BeaaaAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!
Teach kids respect for nature and love of animals, that's great. But they need to learn that wild animals are wild and should be left alone. After one episode, we never watched this show again and never will.
The Three Musketeers (1993)
This movie is an insult to Alexandre Dumas (spoilers)
This movie is so bad on so many levels. From the first scene, when D'Artagnan duels with an annoyingly shrill caricature (he didn't deserve to be called a character). His opponent is a blatant walking gay joke and is completely inappropriate for what pretends to be a family picture. Also out of place in a family picture were some of the violent images and the generous cleavage shots. Obviously the movie veers from the novel, but it veers so far that the book becomes source material in name only. Aramis is no longer the pious gentleman of Dumas' novel, but instead he is...well, Charlie Sheen with a Bible and cross. The plot is almost completely thrown out and the exact opposite of virtually everything in the book happens. Worst of all, Milady DeWinter is transformed from one of the most evil creatures ever into a sympathetic character who is not really bad and only dies because she chooses to sacrifice herself. The script, if it can even be called a script, is hopelessly corny. It feels like they were trying to do the kind of movie they ended up making with Pirates of the Caribbean but failed miserably. The screenwriter hacks it up, showing no knowledge of ballistics (for the last time, cannonballs DO NOT EXPLODE!), anatomy (a wound to the gut may be fatal, but it will not kill a man within a few seconds), or military procedures (the King's guards would be going into war with the King, not disbanding!), and certainly no knowledge of the Dumas novel. Some things were kept, those things being the three-way duel and the fact that Athos used to be married to Milady. That's pretty much it. Really. That's it. I know we can't expect a page for page adaptation, but this was just awful. Oliver Platt's performance as Porthos was the one good thing, and even then I think it was more Platt being himself than playing the character.