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A Horrible Way to Die (2010)
Horrible way to make a film, worst photography ever
A serial killer does his usually stchick on unsuspecting characters after he escapes from jail. His ex-girl friend is in hiding and under witness protection because she testified against him.
But, the cinematography was so bad, it was hard to follow the story.
I think the director got a string of Christmas lights and decided to use them in an out of focus foreground for a 'anxiety' effect. Really? A very poorly conceived decision. 'Shaky cam' was used on Blair Witch and a few others. You might try a tight story line, good actors, and scenes and presto a movie and a tripod.
Rather than move you into the story, such techniques take you out of the story since you are very aware of the effects and fail to follow the story. But maybe the cinematographer had the d'ts'
Pulp Fiction had very little 'artsy out of focus lights' as an effect to get the audience in a tipsy mood.
Story line wasn't bad, but ruined by the constant use of out of focus lights and jumpy camera work. Did you not have access to a pair of sticks?
Plot at the end was good though and should have been extended instead of endless AA meetings.
The Bag Man (2014)
Rivka is hot, hot hot.
She is hot and worth watching in this movie for every frame that she is in.
Get the DVD so you can freeze frames.
Just watch her, zone out with whatever and enjoy the movie.
It is trying to be Seven, but falls short.
Crispin Grover is a hoot as the really goofy guy Ned. Great job.
Was De Niro dating her at the time or did he just make the movie to go on a 'date' with her.
It is one of those movies where De Niro wants to know if he can trust Jack, in some future deals.
He sure puts him through a very serve test to find out.
The Last Stand (2013)
Muscle cars duke it out in a corn field.
Most know the plot from the previous reviews. And it is an action flick directed by a Korean director of note.
Dialogue is forgettable, because the movie is designed for the speed crazy crowd with out much English. Direct to overseas for some $$$$.
I am surprised Arnold didn't say, "Hey, I am getting to old for this" as he clearly was.
Sly Stallone really topped him as an old cop in Copland. And don't forget the old cop(Tommy Lee Jones) in No country for old men.
Some setups in this film were bizarre.
Arnold asks his friend if he still a 'good shot". "Muscle memory is still there" he replies. Then he winds up driving a bus. ?????
And the 'sniper' on the roof is a chick who clearly does not know how to handle a rifle with a scope.
The other scene is when Arnold is on the other side of the bridge to confront the bad guy. Huh? How did he get there. Fly? These kinds of gaffs take you out of the movie. But maybe since it is an action film all logical bets are off. Fun movie, but forgettable in about a month.
The Taqwacores (2010)
Punk rockers from Pakisan? Wow.
I liked this movie because to me it is always an experience to view other cultures and their unique characters. Much like The Graduate and other 'coming of age' films, Yoseuf is a pretty straight laced Muslim viewing all the aberrations of modern youth. I think he is surprised that this is a Middle East version of America where fringes adopt some of our extreme fringes.
Yousef encounters a mélange of disaffected youth though his studies here. All the stereotypes are presented: the Mohawk guy, the drag queen, the burka girl, the hot babe, but all having their own identity. As he goes through it all much like Candy did in the 70s film. I liked the characters, the passage of Yoseuf from the offerings of divergent lifestyles, and it is clear his choice at the last shot of the movie.
Really hard punk puck, especially the dance party scene. Wow! Kind of reminded me of that crazy dance scene in that 80s film Jacob's Ladder.
Lost Highway (1997)
Muddled movie should be Lost Film
Come on guys (and girls) this is a muddled mess.
Let's see, How to Make a David Lynch Film.
First rip off parts of sound track from Koyaanisqatsi, Get Patricia Arquette nude and in Black bra and panties, yummy! Jar the camera and add psychedelic footage from the 60s. Copy bits of Lucky Number Slevin and Double Indemnity. Don't bother to edit. Make film long and boring.
At end of movie, audience members should say, "Thank God it's over". Lynch should stick with small independent films of say 20 minutes and emulate Kenneth Anger.
His daughter made a far more interesting, Surveillance.
If you watched Lost Highway several times you really need a life.
Go for Broke (2002)
Movie should be jailed, no probation
A poor attempt to try an make a comedy in the style of Two Wong Foo, Some Like it Hot, and others.
90% of the movie is two guys disguised as girls and being in a prison and the "drop the soap" type humor all too common in these type of movies.
The director/writer waste too much time on the 'girls in prison" malarkey. This does not move the plot forward and stalls in out in stupid 'situational' mishaps of being in prison.
Now, if the movie took a stab at Mad, Mad, Mad World type of humor and everyone hunting for the big W or the lottery ticket you might have something.
So, you need the guards, the 'girls', the warden, the infiltrators, in short everyone looking for the ticket. This can result in endless comic misunderstandings and foul ups.
Maybe next time.
Identity Thief (2013)
Two dorks don't make a movie
Have to agree with other posters on here as this movie tanks. Bateman plays such a loser, that you almost want to see his identity stolen to ruffle his upper middle class feathers. He plays such a loser how is ever married to Amanda Peet? Seems like he would have trouble tying on his shoe in the morning.
After Melissa sucker punches him in the neck, his response should have been to knock her out, tie her up and throw her in the basement, which hopefully has Freddy Kruger hanging around.
Imagine a nice guy trying to get his identity back from such a sleaze bag identity thief and to be nice about it. Staged scenes, non jokes, and a throat punching chick, all the ingredients for a tedious viewing.
Skip this movie even if it goes direct to thisTV at 3 am, which it will very soon.
Not even up to movie of the week cable standards. I did not get a bargain even though I saw it for free from my public library. I can't get my time back.
Melissa tho, was great in Bridesmaids. Current comedy movies really need an ensemble cast, such as Bridesmades as they can play off each other. The scene stealer was the wedding and the speakers each trying to top each other. Each scene in fact funnier than the one before.
Two person comedies seldom work, and even Steve Martin had to struggle through a few of his movies with an actress side kick.
From It's a Mad, Mad, Mad World through Airplane, though Scary Movie (s) an ensemble cast works best. Oh, and view Nothing But Trouble if you get a chance.
Wannabe Lifetime movie of a Taxi Driver
Luckily I had fast forward on this boring movie. I liked Surveillance, another Lynch movie, yet my friends did not like it, but I found the twists and turns intriguing. I gave Chained a 5 because the acting was good.
However, Chained boils down to 'abused kids turn out to be serial killers'. A perfect Lifetime movie plot of bad men that abuse their loved ones.
The cabbie killer(Bob)had a life boring beyond belief and was so one dimensional he could exist on a petri dish. That is why I used the fast forward. I keep thinking, 'is this movie over yet? I have things to do and places to go."
The lack of really gruesome scenes indicate that it was shot in Canada with those tax breaks. So, being shot on digital (Red One), a cab, a house in middle of nowhere...mmm I am thinking $500,000 max budget. I notice there is no box office figure in IMDb...go figure. Direct to DVD, maybe one art house showing. Too bad, Jennifer showed lots of promise with Surveillance.
In one scene Bob says, "Education you need education", really? and a few courses at the Learning Annex could have stopped your killing spree. Wow! Who would have thought. Let's make everyone take some classes folks and we can stop crime for good. It seems as tho Bob has watched Sling Blade too many times.
There is nothing to understand here. Bob should have been shot in the head and as George Clooney says when his brother is killed in Dusk til Dawn, "Richie may you have the peace in death you did not have in life". And for being so utterly boring except for a few boring clichés.
The drunken girl was not convincing at all and that scene should have been cut as it was almost comic relief, hey, maybe it was comic relief. There was a nice boob girl at the end tho, finally. And she was cute.
Otherwise, Chained just plods along following a very boring killer and his silent sidekick. Luckily, the audience is not chained and can just 'walk away'.
Vehicle 19 (2013)
Car Crap at its worst
This movie is unwatchable without fast forward, the best invention ever for viewers everywhere.
If you are stuck in a theater, simply look for the exit signs, they are usually lit so you can easily find them.
An American tourist Paul Walker (Michael Woods) gets caught up in intrigue in South Africa. He gets embedded with a young girl who has discovered a sex traffic organization led by corrupt cops. Gauntlet, anyone? Plus he is hostile, for quite awhile to a hot girl in distress. Maybe it's the water. Dudes in USA always jump to help out chicks in distress, like in Cellular.
The girl dies, but she leaves a recording that Paul must deliver to the real authorities,(to do the right thing) in this case a judge, but it winds up being the press. The judge was probably in traffic court busy with a fender bender.
Paul feels compelled to answer a phone in a car after he discovers a gun in the car. Did he not see Phone Booth? No one answers random phone rings anymore. No One!
The acting was overly intense with Paul seeming jacked up on some kind of upper. Plot was poor, acting mediocre. Our hero is under watch so he has his car painted, quickly mind you, by some local Reggie youths.
The end is a hoot, imagine you are a cop, a guy wanted for murder is holding a gun at a reporters head and demands to see the judge. Would a cop say 'oh, OK, we will get right on that". "Hey judge, some guy with a gun to a reporter's head wants to see you. You up for that". Judge, "Ok I'll be right down".
This is what happens when you send those Canon 5D's overseas and someone decides to make a movie. Typically over saturated with blue gels this lighting follows Phone Booth to a T. Seems if you are doing a film in the city you need this "city look". A cop should come on at the begging of the film like he is directing traffic and say to the audience, "Move along folks, nothing to see here".
Much better films in the same genre:
The Gauntlet, Vanishing Point (both of them), Phone Booth, and lots of others are a much better way to use your time.
And I agree with the one reviewer who says that ending falls so flat, (it is a voice over for God's sake), that the writer figured out people probably walked out and no one remained to watch a real ending. Or, or did the director run out of funds. Did investors in this $50,000 movie get cold feet and pull the plug. "Hey Mukunda, end this thing already, I am not giving you another $5. I watched it free on HBO, I should have watched those Asylum flicks on SY FY channel. Come to think of it, just read the reviews on this flick, many sum it up.
Check the CCTV
Actually this is kinda a wannabe PHONE BOOTH, a much superior film of someone trapped in a 'booth' or 'ATM".
It was well photographed and acted tho and direction OK. But I don't see 3 mil on the screen, considering it was one locale. I am seeing about $250,000 tops, including a couple of guys with a Canon 5D camera rental and 32gb SD card and a Lowell lite kit. I think the blonde was the director's girlfriend and he did not want her in anything to revealing. "I am not playing a cheap office slut", she probably told him.
OK, you know the plot, three yuppies get caught in the ATM machine kiosk as they are stalked by a killer. One is a blonde hot chick who should have been dressed in a much hotter outfit...babes in horror movies have to:
2)show lots of leg
3)show some booty
4)bra and panties extra points.
There was a chance for some 'wet t-shirt' action, but they blew it with her winter outfit when the sprinkler went off.
The blonde had on a coat and slacks,thereby disqualifying this movie as a horror film. Check out the girl in P2, a much better film on the 'entrapment' theme. Or hell, even that elevator one with the devil as one of the passengers.
Doing a 'confinement' film requires really good script writing and a concern for the characters. Both are missing in this film. They were all kind of bratty.
The characters go through the usual "omg, how are we going to get out of here", only to find themselves resigned to oblivion.
At the end, when the police arrested the young yuppie thinking he did all the mayhem, maybe had a point.
That is, the CCTV cameras acted against him when you looked at the snips. He is the one pushing the blonde, he has his hand on the screw driver, he kills the accidental intruder.
Just looking at the CCTV camera as a juror - hey 3 jerks, drunk, cause mayhem in an ATM kiosk and trash it and kill a guy. Remember, the CCTV camera cuts out before the car crashes into the ATM.
Now this could me a real feature with cool actors and script.
The plot could be a guy is convicted of a crime by the jury only looking at the CCTV footage which distort the facts. That could be really cool movie, as he goes to trail and has to prove his innocence.
In ATM we are waiting for the bad guy to turn out to be someone screwed over by the yuppies, but that doesn't happen.
He simply plans these scenarios in his little storage space. Whaaa? As Click and Clack say, 'boooooooaaagus'. Even French existential films have more closure.
Luckily I only paid 50 cents rental and I had fast forward, which I used often.