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The good, the bad and the ugly, 15 February 2002

The good: 1. The threesome involving Nicole Hilbig. 2. Some of the women are really hot and don't have insanely artificial breasts. 3. Nicole Hilbig is a hottie.

The bad: 1. Nicole Hilbig is, perhaps, the worst actress ever to appear on Skinemax. (Now THAT'S a superlative!) 2. The plot: Let's see. The lead guy and gal are police partners who are sleeping together. While on an investigation, he has sex with a brothel madam. His prudish, conservative, hottie partner joins a brothel threesome and realizes how fun the hooker lifestyle can be! No, really, that's the plot.

The Ugly: 1. There is a really creepy, weasel looking guy who is one of the anonymous Johns. 2. The writing, the acting, the set, the direction.

10 out of 13 people found the following review useful:
Can't Skinemax do a little better?, 9 February 2002

Ok, I wasn't expecting Braveheart or Shawshank Redemption. How many movies with the words "sinful" AND "temptations" in the title are going to be Oscar material? But, this film really disappointed.

Nicole is a bored housewife, looking for some excitement. She's tired of sitting at home with her highschool sweetheart husband whom she loves, but doesn't like anymore. It's no longer fun to sit in her bedroom and admire her enormous fake breasts all day. So, she does what thousands of other housewives do every day. She went to a job interview at a modeling agency!

She is interviewed by Claudia, a tigress of a modeling executive. Sure, she's hot, but her mere D-cup breasts don't provide her with the same modeling opportunities as her clients. Claudia's partner, who acts gay except when he is bedding down Claudia or Nicole, is the casual lover of Claudia, who doesn't want a "serious" relationship.

During Nicole's interview with Claudia (which, somewhat disappointingly does not include some hot girl-girl action), Claudia "reads" Nicole as a bored housewife (with big, silicone breasts) who might like to have an affair, but wouldn't. Utilizing a job interview skill not taught in most career counseling centers, Nicole returns the favor, "reading" Claudia as the type of woman that wouldn't hesitate to have an affair.

After Nicole leaves, Catty Claudia gets together with her foppish partner and bitches about what Nicole said. It may be true, by God, but she didn't have to SAY it. Perhaps having just watched Cruel Intentions 2 on Showtime, Claudia bets her partner her half of the firm's profits for the next six months ("that's a lot of money!" he partner exclaims) that Nicole will have an affair before the end of the movie. Despite the fact that the partner had only met Nicole for 13 seconds as she walked out of the office, he agrees, because he's a bettin' man.

Claudia tries to set Nicole up by sending her to her first photo shoot with 2 big, fake breasted female models and one (straight!) male model, all of whom really know how to party if u know what I mean. (If you don't, by "party" I mean lots of badly simulated sex following the photo shoot.) Much to everyone's consternation, Nicole withstands the pressure, turning down the glass of red wine which would have presumably led to a brief bout of nymphomania.

Why doesn't Nicole jump right in to the pleasures of simulated lesbian sex like all the other Skinemax girls? Her husband is very jealous, and doesn't like this modeling thing at all. He's a good provider, and just wants her to stay at home is that too much to ask? A good provider, one may ask? After all, he does drive a mini-van that is missing a hubcap in during most of the movie. He does, apparently, get most of his business attire from the J.C. Penney's catalog and does use lots of Brylcream in his hair. He has an office and a secretary (who, incidentally, is much better looking than any of the leads in this movie, yet she doesn't take her clothes off.) It is never clear what he does for a living, although he does have the power to just take off the afternoon by telling his hottie secretary to "reschedule my appointments."

Well, as you can imagine, Nicole is hurt that her husband's doesn't want her to work in the skin trade. Is she hurt enough to have an affair? This tension keeps you on at tightwire during the whole movie.

Throwing in an extra twist, the foppish model partner develops some odd fascination with Nicole. He even goes over to a photographer friend's house to discuss his infatuation. His friend gives him a beer. They have a 2 minute conversation about Nicole and her breasts. Then, although we haven't seen the foppish model agency partner drink any of his beer, his friend offers him another! What? Did he shotgun the beer off camera at some point? Or his his photog friend trying to turn him into an alcoholic?

When the movie is 3/4 finished, we get a murder! I won't spoil it by saying who, what, when or where. But let me tell makes no sense. But, as you could guess...Nicole is the leading suspect!

Who is the real killer? Will Nicole have an affair? Are there really straight male models? Will we get to see any hot lesbian scenes?

If you want to know the answers to these questions, see this movie. But please, have a few drinks first.

Where's the goodies?, 6 March 2001

After watching this movie, I felt as if I had just eaten a box of stale, chewy cracker jack only to find no prize inside. This movie has real promise: porn stars in a skinemax feature! Unfortunately, someone forgot to tell the producers that WE LIKE SOME T&A IN OUR T & A FLICKS!!! Sure, we get a few quick flashes and a couple of "bathing in the creek" scenes. But where's the sex? How can you have four girls, "sorority girls" no less, in this type of movie with only one, pitiful 5 second lesbian scene? Good night, USA Up All Night provides more titillation! Look, we don't watch this type of movie for great cinematography, screenwriting or action. We want to see some kink! What a letdown.

3 out of 3 people found the following review useful:
Terrible, even by Skinemax standards, 18 February 2001

This movie is perhaps the worst Skinemax flick I have ever seen. Look, we ain't looking for Oscar material here, but this movie could not have been any worse. The sex scenes, usually the saving grace of this genre film were cheesy and boring. How can naked chicks and sex scenes be boring? Don't ask me, ask the makers of this film.

Worst of all was the acting, which, once again, is generally pretty poor in these movies. But this was terrible. The guys, especially were gawdawful. It was uncomfortable watching the movie in the same way its unconfortable watching a live speaker trying to tell jokes but flubbing the punch line. You know its bad when Doria Rone has the most acting talent of the entire cast.

The story had potential: a group of high school and college friends get together for a reunion of sorts at some cool house up in the mountains. Of course, once they show up, they start having sex. In all, three couples and one recent divorcee (Rone) plan to spend the weekend catching up on old times. Somewhere along the line, they all start playing truth or dare. Sure, this has promise, but instead of hot dares, we get stupid "truths" like, "What is the most dangerous place you have made love" followed by run of the mill flashback sex.

Trouble starts when Doria accepts a dare to kiss all the guys blindfolded and to try to guess who is who! (The producers know that this is a dangerous and erotic dare....they just don't seem to understand that it was dangerous and erotic in about seventh grade.) Of course, some of the girls (who can't decide whether they are Skinemax sluts or Lifetime Channel prudes) get upset when Doria's kiss "looked like it meant something." They suspect that Doria may have had something with the guys sometime. (Hello!!! She's a freaking porn star.)

Of course, it all gets worked out by the end of the movie when everybody gets really drunk and they all return to slut mode. When they sober up, they all decide that even though they basically disregarded their marital vows for a night of hedonistic, unbridled lust, it really was the best for the relationship, "in a weird sort of way." Note to self: try that one on my wife sometime.

The worst part of this movie is the bizarre, brooding music that plays continuously during the movie, often times during the sex scenes. I think it was intended to make the actors appear to be deep in thought about their relationships, when all it really did was highlight the fact that the actors couldn't remember their lines.

Two final complaints: 1, where the heck was the obligatory girl-girl scene in this one? four girls, three guys and no lesbo action? What gives???

2. Appearance of Kim Dawson in one of the flashback scenes. How the heck does this horse keep getting work?

1/10 even on the skinemax scale

3 out of 5 people found the following review useful:
Perhaps the worst sit-com ever, 6 February 2001

I had to see if this show even made it into the database. I'm sorry it did. Well, maybe not...a show this bad should serve as a warning to future generations about the dangers of low budget, syndicated sit-coms. Perhaps the only show even close to this bad is "The Charmings" which was on ABC for a while. Awful!