Reviews

6 ReviewsOrdered By: Date
1/10
The evils that men do in the name of religion...
13 July 2003
Ah, the atrocities spawned by overly-religious men: The Inquisition, the Salem Witch Trials, the 9/11 attacks, and last, but certainly not least, Battlefield Earth: A Saga of the Year 3000. John Travolta's Scientologist beliefs led him to create a crappy movie based on a (slightly less) crappy book. This could have been at least a decent schlock film, but Travolta had too much reverence for the source to let it get dragged down like that (for those who don't know, L. Ron Hubbard, the author of the novel this movie's based on, is the Scientologist equivalent to Jesus), so it just ends up being a hideously boring experience, and one I'd rather take a bullet to the brain than repeat. Hell, maybe the bullet can give me a frontal lobotomy, and then I might actually enjoy this crapfest.
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6/10
Has a B-Movie charm
13 July 2003
Roger Corman is known as the "King of the B-Movies", and for good reason. He makes movies that, despite their low budget effects, terrible acting, and inane scripting, have a certain cheesy charm, something that any badfilm afficionado can enjoy. Fantastic Four is no different. Sure, it's a terrible movie, but all the silliness makes it a lot of fun to watch, and the bad acting (overacting by some actors, underacting by others) helps to heighten the hilarity. If you like bad movies, you'll love the Fantastic Four.
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1/10
The ultimate in badfilm!
3 June 2003
Any bad movie afficionado NEEDS to see this one. It's absolutely incredible in the depths of its stench, in a "so bad, it's good" kind of way.

It's a shame MST3K died before they could do this stinker.
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Mag-nificent
12 August 2002
I refused to see this one in the theaters, because I thought it'd be so much tripe. I had no idea how wrong I was.

I was just exposed to Kung Pow this Saturday, thanks to my brother's co-worker who lent my brother (or is that "forced my brother to borrow"?) the DVD of this flick. We watched the movie five times in two days.

I'll be quite honest; this movie simply is not for everybody. But if, like me, you grew up on badly-dubbed Hong Kong martial-arts flicks, you will LOVE this send-up of the genre. The action is top-notch (though that's more Jimmy Wang Yu's triumph than Steve Odenkirk's), the dialogue and voices are roll-on-the-floor-laughing funny, and the cliches that have haunted all aspects of action movie history, from '70s "chop-saki" flicks to modern big-budget explosionfests, are brilliantly mocked.

On the technical side, you have to marvel at how seamlessly blended together this movie was. Despite the fact that Odenkirk, Lee, and the rest of the modern cast are separated from the original "Tiger and Crane Fists" cast by 25 years and half a world, they actually convincingly interact with each other. You could actually believe that they're all there, on the same sets, acting out each scene like any other movie.

Again, this isn't for everybody, and if you aren't a fan of Hong Kong action flicks, you will not get most of the gags. But if you are, this movie is pure comedy gold.

10/10
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Such a wasted opportunity
27 April 2002
The premise behind the Street Fighter games could have lent itself to a tremendous action flick. Instead, we get this Van Damme travesty. Lame dialog, stale, juvenile humor, and yawn-a-minute "action scenes" make this dog something to avoid. The film's one saving grace is Raul Julia's performance as megalomaniacal overlord Bison, and it's a great travesty that the last performance of such a magnificent actor is a turkey like this.

Recommendation to AVOID.
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1/10
Dear God, what have we done to deserve this torture?
1 January 2001
This movie is so bad, it's actually considered cruel and unusual punishment under the U.S. Constitution. I wish I was exaggerating. If you want a Christmas movie, go watch Miracle on 34th Street or something. Just stay far, far, FAR, I can't emphasise this enough, FAR AWAY from this horrifyingly bad film. You've heard the phrase "So bad, it's funny"? Well, this transcends "So bad, it's funny" and ends up just being horrible.
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