13 Reviews
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Ghostwatch (1992 TV Movie)
I still remember it 9 years later.
1 May 2001
Haloween 1992, I was 13 and I se an advertisement on BBC1 for a ghost documentry. It had Sarah Greene with a torch. Hmm this looks interesting I thought so I watched it, little did I know I would not sleep for days without thinking I could hear "pipes" in my bedroom.

I genuinely thought it was a real show. It started off all light hearted, then when you heard the moaning sounds of pipes who lives under the stairs.. The camera goes off, things move, and everyone is very scared. The studio bits were so real. They even gave you a phone number to phone in and discuss the subject. I wonder how many people used it?

The next day at school everyone was talking about it.

Like everyone who has posted on here, I wish I had taped it.
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That was the day I died and someone else was saved
8 February 2001
What a great movie. One of Julia Robert's best performances.

The start of the movie seems fine Laura and Martin seem like a happily married couple, then you see a scene where Martin berates her about hanging the bathroom towels out of order and then, Laura desperately tries to arrange the tins in the cupboard exactly right. Everything is definitely not alright when you see Martin punch Laura in the head.

This is the story of how Laura fakes her own death and tries to make a new life for herself.

You really feel for Laura and Martin is a really evil guy, who is portrayed very scarily.

The music is beautiful and sad, one of the loveliest soundtracks I have ever heard.

I really recommend this film to other women, although it is not aimed entirely at the female audience, I feel we get more out of it
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The League of Gentlemen (1999–2017)
You're my wife now Dave!
5 February 2001
WOW, what a great great series!

Looking through the reviews I notice it is not to everyone's liking, but I guess they have a weak stomach or are easily offended :)

The many characters are all SUPERB! The series progresses like a story of all these weird and wonderful people's lives. Once you start watching you get addicted.

They had a league of Gentleman weekend on UK PLAY not long ago and they had all the episodes back to back, so I recorded them all. I also got the book that accompanies the series, and I advise all fans to BUY THIS BOOK! It's great! It uncovers more about all the inhabitants of Royston Vasey. Things like Tubb's Diary, The rules to Go Johnny Go Go and Pop's real estate.

Edward and Tubbs are really funny, but I think the character I laughed at hardest was Papa Lazarou. When he knocked on that womans door trying to sell pegs I almost peed myself. The carnival of freaks was great too, the little touches like the three legged dog and the Japanese guy to have your photo taken with really make this series shine.

The local shop catchphrase will forever be in my mind. I have a feeling that there may only ever be the 2 series that were made already. But hey! you never know. I heard a romour that The League of Gentleman may make a completely different series with completely new characters, I guess we will have to wait and see.
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Tank Girl (1995)
Tank Girl sez men are suckers, which is true!
5 February 2001
It seems most of the male characters except keslee are powerless against a woman's charm :)

Ah so true to life!

I really like Tank Girl, although I understand it was heavily cut. The Tank Girl comics are a lot more "taboo".

The story was good, it was not a flowing one, but it did the job. Tank Girl and the rippers vs Water and Power.

I really liked Jet Girl, she reminded me of myself. I liked the way she developed from a shy greasy haired coward into a more confident and attractive character.

Tank Girl herself has some really cool outfits and hairdos. Lori Petty played her very well. I would have liked to have seen Sub Girl in a bigger role, but I guess there was no room, or maybe they cut a whole lot of her scenes out. I also love the pictures from the comic books that are shown throughout the movie. It would be great to have a first issue of Tank Girl.

All in all a very enjoyable movie
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Father Ted (1995–1998)
Tea Father?
5 February 2001
I have all the episodes of Father Ted on tape, and have watched them over and over and they still make me laugh. Mrs Doyle is my fave character.

The pilot episode was soooo good. I loved the really rubbish fair that all the backwater residents of the island thought was amazing. The ship crane ride was a stroke of genius!

But the best episode has to be the caravan episode. The way they crammed all those people into the tiny caravan was very funny.

I guess maybe some strict catholics may think this show is offensive, but there is nothing really bad in it in my opinion.

I think I will go off and watch some Father Ted now actually

cya later folks!
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Oh My God Drago is your brother!
5 February 2001
I really liked this movie. I saw it on Sky Movies in 94. Cynthia is my hero! Always beating up the bad guys!

But Cynthia is joined by a great partner named Richard Norton who is a bit of a dish in my opinion.

So basically it's Kris (Cynthia) and Preston (Richard) against the drug King and Queen of LA. The psychotic Conrad Drago and the beautiful Rita Carrion. Who have a load of bumbling lackeys at their disposal including dirty cops, Fast Eddie the nightclub owner and car thief extraodinaire and of course Hannah the Hun, who has a gang of women fighters who do contract beatings. Oh and lets not forget Rita's bodyguard who is may be on the baddie's side but is a very honourable man.

So how can the heroric duo of Kris and Preston defeat all these foes? Well they have Baby! Yes baby the homeless former stockbroker.

I found Brian Thompson's portrayal of Conrad Drago very evil and the brother sister thing was a good storyline element.

OK so I like this movie, I'll shut up now :)
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ahhhh oh ahhhh someday we will find the cities of gold
31 January 2001
WOW, when I was about seven I watched this regularly, now at 22 I feel I could still watch it.

It was a series of cartoons with such a deep and wonderful storyline, made in Japan I think, which would explain a lot as Japanese anime is more emotional than western animation and is not viewed as a cartoon, but just another way to make movies or TV programmes.

Esteban is an orphan child living in Spain. Mendoza is a spaniard who rescued him. Mendoza takes Esteban with him on a sea voyage to South America. Her he meets Zia a kidnapped Incan girl, he discovers that Zia wears the same medallion as him. Mendoza is searching for the cities of gold and believes these medallions will help him find them. (They are later told that they are the keys)

They get shipwrecked and meet Tao an aztec boy and he joins them, he brings along his gold jar. They sail in this mechanical boat and then a little later find a city where there is a giant golden condor, that is a kind of aeroplane, they fly around trying to find the cities, and encounter many enemies. The Doctor and Marinchi and the evil Omecs, who look like aliens. ( Omecs are a mystery even today, so this ties in nicely I feel ) Everyone wants to find the cities of Gold. A lot happens to the children on there journey. Zia returns to her father, only to have him die, and in the end it is revealed that the high priest of the cities of gold is Esteban's father, but he dies saving the world from the omecs machine (Taos jar is actually the device to stop it) The story unfolds as each part of the puzzle is put in place. The three ancient ruins and the omec mountain.. all point to the cities of gold.

The scenes I remember most are the children putting the medallions into the breasts of a stone goddess (snicker) The children being frozen in glass coffins so the omecs could get their cells and the jade mask that had weird shining eyes.

Yes I used to pretend I was a child of the sun when I was a kid. Made myself a medallion too.

I'd be happy to talk about cities of gold all day.

Underground anime organisations may be able to help you get copies of this great series.
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Bottom (1991–1995)
So funny it has me in stiches
31 January 2001
What is it about Bottom that can make you want to vomit with laughter?

I think it must be the conversations Richie and Eddie have with each other which Eddie calls "complete bollocks". The violence also is great it is so well timed.

My fave episode was from Series 1 with the gas man. The way they beat him up was great. When he knocks on the door and Richie goes "Hello Mr Gasman" to try and get Eddie to turn off the gas.

The best live show was the second one in my opinion. The bit at the start when they are trying to eat a special K brick made me want to pee myself.

Maybe the rest of the world will scorn us Brits for liking such low toilet humour, but there is no better comedy than Bottom.
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Mac and Me (1988)
The ending makes me cry everytime
31 January 2001
I first saw this movie as a kid, and I still love it today. The alien is so cute an adorable, and when it was sick it looked "sick" and when the alien family are all sick I was crying too.

Yes it had a lot of shameless plugs for coke, mcdonalds, skittles and wickes but it added to the story I thought. I was so relieved when the aliens got their coke and got better.

The opening scene where they are on their home planet and a NASA probe lands is great, they get sucked up like in a hoover and then the scientists open the probe and find them. In reality it would have taken the probe a couple of years at least to reach Earth and the aliens should have all starved to death by then from lack of fizzy drinks, but I can let that go.

The acting was good I think. I looked at the child actors and none of them have been in anything much since Mac and Me. The wheelchair kid has not even had a little background role in a TV series or anything. I was interested to see where they were now. Only Tina Caspary was listed and apparently she is with a travelling dance company.

It's not really THAT much like E.T. it's more fun. The story is similar I guess kid from a divorced family meets alien. But the alien does not go home at the end but stays on Earth. The song at the end makes cry a lot, as the alien family becomes a family of Earth and everyone kisses each other.

The speech bubble that says, We'll be back was a lie though! they never made a sequel! WHY NOT? Oh how I wish they would. Allt eh actors would be grown up now, but it would be an interesting film nonetheless I feel.

I am aware that I am in the minority opinion about Mac and Me, but I can't help what I like.
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Aristocrats (1999– )
Mr Fox looks like a toad!
21 January 2001
Sarah describes her sisters.

Caroline is clever, Emily is like a mother to me, Louisa is an angel and Cecilia is a child. I am a disappointment.

This is based on a true story and is actually very good viewing. It has six parts, showing the sisters as children and finally as old ladies.

Apart from Cecilia, all the sisters stories are based around their loves and family.

Emily is the narrator of the story as it proceeds.

The costumes and wigs are wonderful and the music is good too. All the sisters give great performances.
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Wyrd Sisters (1997– )
Extremely faithful to the book
6 January 2001
I loved this animation! After reading the book first, I totally agreed with how the characters were represented.

The three witches are by far the best characters, Magrat and Nanny Ogg are so funny. The story is good too. Taking elements from stories that have included witches in the past. In particular Macbeth and sleeping Beauty.

I talked to Terry Pratchett online last year when he was doing a guest chat on yahoo. I asked him if he was happy with the two animated versions of his books Wyrd Sisters and Soul Music and he said he was extremely pleased with them. So there you have it.

Some people may be put off because it's animation, thinking "It's for kids" Although there is nothing nasty in it to make it unsuitable for kids, I think it appeals to an older audience and that kids might not understand all the subtle and clever jokes. The books themselves are definitely aimed at adults.

In conclusion just go and watch this now if you are a discworld fan.
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Screen Two: Northanger Abbey (1987)
Season 3, Episode 7
Lovely musical score
31 December 2000
Although it strays away from the book a little, you can't help but love the atmospheric music and settings.

The scenes in Bath are just how they should be. Although if you have watched it as many times as I have you notice that the background people are the same in each scene, but that aside, I like the scene where they are in the Hot Baths, but did the men and women really bathe together like that? You could see all the men perched around the outside leering at the women. It also seemed strange that they all had their hats on, but perhaps this was the style at the time. The ballroom scenes were very nice, the dancing and the outfits looked beautiful. I especially liked Catherine's dress in the first ballroom scene.

Northanger Abbey looked suitably imposing, but I enjoyed the Bath scenes better.

Schlesinger gives a good but not exceptional performance as Catherine Morland. Googie Withers gives the best performance as Mrs Allen I feel.

Ugh Peter Firth as Mr Tilney, he just talks a load of rubbish, and is not a clergyman as he should be, it's hard to think of him being in love with Catherine, but then the book never really gave that impression either.

General Tilney is played reasonably well by Hardy, and Stuart also gives a sort of good performance as Isabella. Ingrid Lacey did not give a good performance as Elinor Tilney. As for John Thorpe, well he gives the impression of a seedy and lustful man, perhaps not the character portrayed in the book, but I quite like it.

I can handle scenes being cut from a book adaptation, but when new scenes and characters are added it usually annoys me. The marchioness! I hate her. She is not part of the Northanger story and neither is her cartwheeling page boy.

some of the script is peculiar. When Catherine is asking Elinor Tilney about her Mothers death she asks "I suppose you saw the body? How did it appear?" What a silly thing to say! Elinor's calm response is stupid too.

anyway please tell me if you agree or disagree with me
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Mansfield Park (1983– )
Not Exceptional, but better than the recent movie
31 December 2000
Ok so maybe you all disagree, but I prefer this old mini-series to the modern 1999 film.

I read the book before I had seen either, and this version is so much more true to the book. For me that is much more important than modern touches that spoiled the movie.

Even though Sylvestra may not give a good performance as Fanny Price, I find her much more believable as Fanny than Frances O Connor.

The camera work is very dodgey. At the start when Fanny is in the carriage with Mrs Norris, when Fanny is introduced to the Bertrams and when Tom, Edmund and Mary Crawford are walking together.

Mrs Norris is just how I imagined her, and Lady Bertram too. Henry Crawford is not played well I feel, the way he speaks seems all wrong and strange, I think they chose the wrong actor there.

I was struck by the scene where Maria wants to go through the locked gate and sends Mr Rushworth to get the key. This scene is just how I pictured it in the book, it is quite remarkable.

The settings serve their purpose, the house is furnished as you would expect. That was another thing I disliked about the recent movie. Mansfield Park looked like a Fortress inside! All bare and ugly, more suited to Northanger Abbey I feel.

The music was simple, but it was obviously a low budget production.

If anyone agrees with me please say.
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