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Can't stand folks who think the Internet gives them freedom to ignore civility, common sense, film history, or basic grammar and spelling.
Jonah Hex (2010)
A digest version of a feature film
When the film ended and the credits began, I looked in disbelief at the timer. 72 minutes ???? Who makes a live action big budget film that is only 72 minutes long? I haven't seen such a short flick since 1963's DAY OF THE TRIFFIDS.
Admittedly the film is not padded. While the filmmakers could have come up with something, anything to give the film some bulk, the scenes that are there all briskly move the action along. The deleted scenes on the DVD would have added nothing to the film aside from a few extra minutes.
The film seems a "Western Noir" version of 1999's WILD WILD WEST. The plots are similar-- a special government agent with ties to the Civil War is sent by President Grant to seek out a renegade ex-Confederate officer who now possesses a super-weapon that he'll use to kill Grant and conquer the US. And the hero is aided by a heroine who appears to be a "soiled dove" but whom can handle herself in a fight. At least JONAH HEX does a better job at explaining the title character's background.
The main difference the tone of this film. Where WILD WILD WEST was an action comedy, this is a very dark film. Jonah Hex is not a jokester and the few light comments he makes are in character and still very dark.
The acting is negligible. Megan Fox continues to show she looks great but can't act her way out of a paper bag. Malkovich is pretty much phoning in his performance as a generic terrorist leader. Fassbinder chews the scenery as his psychopathic Irish assassin. Lance Reddick (from FRINGE) plays a Noble Black Man. But Josh Brolin does a very good job with his title role. He plays Jonah Hex with a weariness and dedication that befits this character. He may seem to be underplaying here but in fact he's struck just the right tone.
The geographical sense of the film is pretty bizarre. Folks seem able to ride their horses fairly swiftly between points like the West, New Orleans, and Washington DC. Somewhow the villains are able to transport swiftly and unseen a multi-barreled cannon the size of an M1 Abrams tank. And Washington DC is now apparently on the southern shore of a bay.
Beyond Sherwood Forest (2009)
A couple gems in an otherwise misfire of a film.
There are four reasons to watching this film-- the CGI were-dragon, Katherine Isabelle as Alina the were-dragon, the CGI wolf-lions, and Erica Durance as Marian. The were-dragon sequences are incredibly well done and very realistic. The creature's design is distinctive, with a body like a winged puma. The transformations are very well done, limited only by Katherine Isabelle's refusal to do more than bare her shoulders or back for scenes where she should be nude. The animators get around this fairly well although it is obviously the nude Alina at the beginning of the transformation is a Poserette. Katherine Isabelle, who played the title character from the GINGER SNAPS series, is great at playing troubled, distressed, terminally sad characters. She's right up her alley here. She really does steal the film with her portrayal of the tragic Alina. Okay, her refusal to do nude scenes did limit the filmmakers somewhat. In scenes where she is ostensibly nude and vulnerable, Miss Isabelle is only shown from the shoulders up. The filmmakers couldn't afford to pay for her usual body double? The lion-like wolves in "Beyond" section of Sherwood Forest are quite believable as well. They are a nicely executed hybrid of natural wolf and magical hell-beast. Their interaction with their would-be human victims is spot-on. Erica Durance..... anything from her post-Smallville debut is worth watching just for a chance to watch her. She gets a few action scenes in, either practicing on a helpless dummy or fighting the were-dragon Alina. And she looks great in a medieval pantsuit.
Bad points? Robin Dunne, Robin Dunne, and Robin Dunne. He was at best phoning in his performance. Apparently no one taught him how to believably fire an arrow. The few times you see him fire an arrow, it is obvious the arrow only flew a dozen feet before dropping to the floor.
All in all, there was no reason to call this "Robin Hood" aside from the chance to skip over explaining who these various characters were. Friar Tuck for example shows up, talks to Robin and Marian a little, then gets killed. By calling him "Friar Tuck" the filmmakers spared themselves the five minutes or so of screen time they'd've needed to set him up as an original character.
Another example of low budget 70s TV superhero SF
It's hard to remember now what an impoverished time the 1970s were for science fiction and superhero television shows. While the SIX MILLION DOLLAR MAN, BIONIC WOMAN, INCREDIBLE HULK, and WONDER WOMAN seem to have done well in our memories, their budgets were limited and the creativity was hampered by the SFX technology of the time.
But that did not stop studios from trying. And occasionally a network would begrudgingly cough up the money for a pilot in the form of a made-for-TV flick.
In this case, the guys behind the two bionic shows on ABC got NBC interested in their pitch for another Martin Caidin concept. Caidin was the leading "tech thriller" writer of the 60s and 70s. His NASA novel MAROONED (actually three novels) was a famous film. His gritty novel CYBORG was softened into the popular SIX MILLION DOLLAR MAN. NBC probably asked for "something like the $6M Man but different." They got it.
Caidin again looked to cutting edge technology for his gimmick. NASA and the Pentagon had been working on "man-amplifiers", powered frameworks a user could wear and use to possess forklift-like strength. The chemical industry had developed "memory plastic", materials that could be deformed then spring back into shape when an electric current was supplied. So there was the concept-- a man-amplifier suit that used memory plastic joints to make it work.
Of course this is television so they needed a crisis to compel the hero to build the thing in the first place. In this case, the hero was a college professor who witnessed a crime. The local mobsters tried shutting him up by nearly killing him. Now paraplegic, the hero decided to combine his work with memory plastic with research by his colleagues to produce an armored plastic suit that can walk on its own. And of course, this being TV, he used the suit to get revenge on the mobsters. He even picked up the obligatory street-smart young assistant along the way. The idea looked good on paper. The only problem was, the best mid-70s SFX tech could come up with was plastic plate mail the wearer could barely move in.
NBC took a look at the pilot, let it air once, and quietly forgot about it. As did most of the viewers.
Martin Caidin just cashed his check and went on with his life. After all, he still had the royalties from the bionic shows coming in. A few years later, Caidin decided to recycle the basic ideas behind EXOMAN in his early-80s tech thriller MANFAC. Like CYBORG, this is a very serious, very adult novel that still holds up well. MANFAC also enabled Caidin to have his final say on some of the exaggerated powers of THE $6M MAN, especially that "running at 60 mph" trick (the suit's legs literally run out from under the wearer).
Big Jim McLain (1952)
A period propaganda film
It's interesting and difficult to assess films with extremist viewpoints that were made at times when their viewpoints were considered perfectly acceptable. BIRTH OF A NATION is one such flick, with its heroic Ku Klux Klansmen saving the day.
BIG JIM MCCLAIN is another film of this ilk. It was made in a time when a small but unfortunately powerful political and media cabal successfully convinced the public that Commie Spies were infiltrating everywhere. To stop them, all we needed to do was rip up the Constitution and set up a secret police to arrest these evil foreigners and their native-born Fellow Travellers. That we had just spent five years stopping a similar system in Germany never entered into most folks' minds.
But I digress....
Wayne and Arness star as agents of the secret police.... err, investigators for the House Un-American Activities Commission ferreting out a group of obviously intellectual and well-traveled Commies and Commie Dupes who use the Constitution to prevent their prosecution. That's pretty much sums up the film. The film is a sad recitation of various bugaboos held by the conservatives. The Commies are highly intelligent, well-educated, and philosophical, and possess a wide view of the relationship between nations and an even better understanding of the rights inherent in the Constitution. The Good Guys are common folk without any intellectual pretense, possess a strong nationalistic bias, and dislike the Constitution because it prevents their actions.
Hmm, sounds like the Bush Adminstration....
The film is ripe for revival. The same script performed now could be a riotous dark comedy. Maybe throw in a few catchy song and dance numbers.
Now Get Out of That (1981)
The Genesis of the Modern Survival and Stunt Reality Shows
NOW GET OUT OF THAT can be seen as the forebear of two types of TV shows-- the "Survivor" types and the "Junkyard Wars" types. And given the number of creative offspring this show has, it is criminal it appears to be pretty much forgotten. (Am I really the first person to express any thoughts on this long-lost gem?) The format was fairly simple. A team of four contestants was dropped at one end of a picturesque British countryside and given a map and compass. The idea was they were on a mission and had to find their way to their goal somewhere out there in the aforementioned picturesque British countryside. They were dropped off one morning and were expected to complete the mission by the following afternoon. Thus some outdoor roughing it was involved.
The contestants were subjected to a variety of puzzles and challenges as they made their trek. For example, the team's directions might lead them to the center of a very tall, very picturesque stone viaduct. There they found four sets of repelling gear. They needed the gear to get to the bottom of the viaduct where four ATVs waited. But on the way down they had to find the ATVs' keys, which were hung halfway down the viaduct. As none of the keys were hung together, each contestant was forced to make the perilous-looking descent.
After a long day, the contestants would find a stash of supplies they could use to make dinner and shelter. What the contestants made of the supplies could vary widely. For example, when British and American teams were faced with dinner in the form of a joint of meat, the announcer described their actions thusly, "In proper British fashion, the British team decided to boil the meat to death. In typical American fashion, the y decided to have a barbecue." (The BBQ worked, the boiled meat was barely edible, by the way.) The narrator was a hoot to listen to as he alternated described and mocked the contestants' efforts. The narration for JUNKYARD WARS definitely copied this.
On the second day, the tasks increased in complexity until the contestants finally reached their goal. For example, in one episode the team had to use available parts to devise a "time bomb." One solution I recall was a leaking sandbag attached to a lever that somehow triggered the "bomb." The filming format was straight forward. One team of contestants participated at a time, accompanied by the film crew. That would occupy two days. Then the area would be reset for the second team's mission on the third and fourth days. Afterwards, the two team's footage was edited to give the illusion of a head-to-head competition. (The occasionally wildly different weather conditions were the giveaway.) Each half hour episode dealt with one day of the mission. The show aired in the US as a one-hour package, combining the two episodes that formed a competition. In the original run, the teams were strictly British. Later seasons added teams of expatriate Americans in order to give the series a wider appeal for the newly emerging American Cable market. (I watched this on the early ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT Channel.) Looking at the show now, one can see numerous shows that owe a creative debt to the NOW GET OUT OF THAT. JUNKYARD WARS owes its tinkering and puzzle solving aspects. CASTAWAY and SURVIVOR owes its outdoor roughing it aspects. FEAR FACTOR owes its outdoor stunts aspect. And of course ALL Reality Shows owe it the development of a omnipresent but invisibly off-camera production crew dutifully recording everything.
While it has been a quarter-century since the series aired, it has a timeless quality that makes me hope some dish programmer, desperate for series to fill their schedules, will revive it. Or at least air the original episodes.
A return to pre-Dark Age comics
I'm still ambivalent about this series. Frankly, I do not see why anyone except Bruce Timm is allowed to be anywhere near a DC superhero, especially Batman. I found "THE Batman" an abominable waste of time and money, at least until they producers got smart and hired Timm's staff to rescue their show.
Okay, that said, I'm willing to give this a shot. For starters, it's a pleasant evocation of the late-Silver Age, early-Bronze Age comics series THE BRAVE AND THE BOLD.
Although the series had started off as a generic adventure anthology, by the mid-60s the comic had settled on a format of Batman paired with a different guest each issue. (WORLDS FINEST was the monthly Batman-Superman team-up.) The stories were a good way to give a spotlight to lesser characters and to give Batman a different style of story. Robin almost never appeared in this series. Ironically this series was responsible for the revamping of Batman into the character we now know, when artist Neal Adams was able to make aesthetic changes through this series that he could not make in the main books DETECTIVE COMICS and BATMAN. When fan reaction preferred Adams' B&B look to that of the the other books, the other books finally gave in and we finally had the rise of "The Dark Knight."
The art style of the animated B&B is a pleasant surprise. It evokes the distinctive style of the great but under-appreciated RAMONA FRADON, the woman Darwyn Cooke copies, and the great but quirky DICK SPRANG, with aspects of Paul Dini's inimitable designs.
The storytelling is aimed at a younger and definitely non-cynical audience. I have no problem with that. This is a Batman who is well-established in his world, who is comfortable with his role, and is looking to expand his legacy by interacting with others. Depending on the status of the guest, the interaction can be that of mentor-student or that of equals.
In brief, this is a really good 1960s-era TV series crafted with modern budgets, skills, and sensibilities.
The Art of Love (1965)
Jean-Francois Millet, not Gustave Courbet
Theowinthrop: "There is also a short story by Mark Twain entitled "IS HE DEAD?" about a plot to make a reputation for a prominent 19th Century artist, Gustave Courbet, by him pretending to be dead, and his paintings being sold for larger and larger amounts of cash so that the still living Courbet and his friends make a huge profit." It was Millet, the artist responsible for THE GLEANERS and other works, who faked his death in order to raise the value of his art. Twain later turned the scam into a play, IS HE DEAD?, which finally got discovered in 2002 and produced on stage in 2007.
That said, THE ART OF LOVE has long been one of my "Favorite Films I Haven't Seen in a Long Long Time." The lack of video release is depressing. Hopefully Universal will start a cable movie channel dedicated to its own films, much like Fox Movie Channel (a great place to see long-forgotten flicks like PRUDENCE AND THE PILL).
Adaptation of a Chicago play
The long-lost, long-forgotten E/R was based on a well known Chicago play produced by the Organic Theater Company. It was a delightfully cynical comedy as a play. As a TV series, it was probably a bit out of place. But at least it got a chance to air. And it gave a lot of people their first major TV screen time, such as the winsome Corinee Bohrer. The show came along at a time when TV execs were having a rare resurgence of creativity and okay'ing unusual shows like this one, Hot L Baltimore, and United States. Too bad such times (and such shows) don't last.
George Clooney in E/R and ER? What a hoot!
Heroes, the Lost Smallville Surfaces
It's an interesting premise that was well executed. The broadcast drew in three of my house-mates, including one who got really made at anyone who dared call the house while it was running.
Structurally it reminds me a lot of last year's SURFACE, the serial about scientific conspiracies and sea monsters. Both shows start with characters being introduced scattered across the globe. It also resembles LOST in the way characters are subtly interconnected. I won't list any right now for those who haven't seen it yet.
Okay, one exception-- there is a comic book, 9th WONDER, that might be important to the series. An image from it shows up in at least two of the characters' lives and next week see see another issue.
This is probably the best treatment since UNBREAKABLE of the idea of how superpowers might appear in a real world setting. The invulnerable cheerleader sees it as an annoyance to be suffered through. The precognitive painter and the woman with the independent reflection thinks they've gone insane. The one guy with a real understanding of his powers is such a passionate SciFi buff that everyone just thinks he's just having fannish fantasies.
Like SURFACE, the show is a rich production with location shooting in Japan, California, and NYC. This means it's expensive and is going to have to pull in some decent ratings to survive to a second season. But even if, like SURFACE, it only lives a single season, it looks to be a helluva ride.
Remember, SMALLVILLE as initially dismissed as a DAWSONS CREEK clone too and that one turned out pretty damn good.
In terms of comic book antecedents, Michael J. (BABYLON 5) Strazsinski's RISING STARS comes closest.
Komodo vs. Cobra (2005)
A by-the-numbers effort
Komodo vs. Cobra is not going to set the world on fire. It's not a hallmark of cinema history. What it is is a group of underfunded filmmakers trying to make another movie, make another paycheck, and continue to support themselves and their families. As such I give these efforts a lot of slack. I mean, come on, it has to be hard to be a Russian special effects technician. Not a lot of big budget films getting made there. BUT-- they are a dedicated bunch and more than willing to throw their all into whatever lame American monster flick needs affordable SFX. And I get a kick out of looking for the same locations appear time and again in these flicks. If for some reason you find yourself watching this again, look at the sequence where Pare and company are walking through a "jungle." Look at their feet and you'll see paved walkways. And if you happen to still have a copy of "AI Assault" (shown a week or two earlier also on SciFi), you'll see the folks in there tramping through the same ersatz jungle. Come to think of it, I think the helicopters land in the same clearing in both flicks. I can admire the thriftiness of these films. Every dollar really does show up on the screen! Too bad there just aren't enough dollars......