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Guys, forget everything you´ve heard about this film: first of all, forget about Michael Myers, you won´t find him in this flick! Apart from its title, "Halloween III" has got NOTHING to do with the rest of the series! However, Tommy Lee Wallace´s movie can be quite entertaining - as long as you don´t take it too serious, because the plot is pure nonsense: explosive masks which kill children while watching a commercial on TV... What a joke!!! After all "Halloween III" looks like the horror film version of Barry Levinson´s "Toys": killer robots, dangerous toys - the series has never been more ridiculous than it was in this part! Unfortunately, the version that I saw was cut, so I can only guess about the gore... Horror veteran Tom Atkins ("Maniac Cop", "Bruiser") saves this film from being too mediocre. Like I said in the beginning of my review it´s not a bad movie, but Rick Rosenthal´s "Halloween II" is still the best sequel!
Austin Powers in Goldmember (2002)
Foxxy Groovy Baby
Comedies are normally not my cup of tea, but this one is a great laugh riot, because "Goldmember" is by far the best installment of the Austin Powers series: the first part was only mediocre and the second quite okay, but this one is over the top! The jokes fly like bullets from a machine gun, even though some gags can be very disgusting like the appearances of Scotish villian Fat Bastard for example... It´s also really funny to read how many Dutch users here complain about Goldmember´s accent... Take it easy, guys!! The next time it´s up to us Germans again... Another attraction of this film is the amazing star ensemble which includes Tom Cruise, Gwyneth Paltrow, Kevin Spacey, Danny de Vito, Britney Spears, Steven Spielberg, The Osbournes... However the greatest performances come from Verne Troyer as "Mini Me" and Beyoncé Knowles as "Foxxy Cleopatra"! I´m not a fan of Destiny´s Child, but this chick is absolutely hot and surprisingly talented! If you her role check out the Pam Grier originals "Foxy Brown", "Coffy" or "Arena"!
"Hardgore/Horror Whore" is a curious mixture between hardcore porn and gore movie, filmed in the 1970s, when the film makers still had inspirations and a sense for the grotesque. The story is about a young girl who´s taken to a private clinic where the female patients are forced to take part at satanic sex orgies. However, afterwards they all get killed violently by the doctors and the attendants... Indeed a strange flick, but interesting to watch and very entertaining! The whole film has sometimes a very psychedelic feeling, like a trip on drugs, and director Michael Hugo did a great job with creating a nightmarish atmosphere! Especially the dream-sequence when the main actresses is fizzed all over with the sperm of three rocket dicks is the climax of the whole film! And such nasty killing scenes like an orgasm-beheading or a cut off dick enhance "Hardgore" over the usual porn standard and bring it almost on the level of a Joe D´Amato movie! This gem is really hard to find, but Something Weird Video features it in its freaky catalogue... So if you like your stuff nasty, disturbing and sleazy check out this flick whenever you´ve got the chance!!!
Blood Feast (1963)
A cult classic with historical values for the genre!
Hershell Gordon Lewis´ "Blood Feast" was the first gore movie ever made and it´s remembered by the most for its bad special F/X and the ridiculous acting! However, it would be more than unfair to call it a bad film, because this little classic has more entertainment values than most of Hollywood´s high budget productions!
The story is about a weird old guy named Fuad Ramses who runs a catering service, but actually he´s possessed by the idea to bring back the deceased Egyptian Queen Ishtar into life by stealing the guts of some young women...
This film doesn´t run longer than one hour, but it has a great value for the horror genre and it´s essential for every gorehound! Even John Water´s tributed "Blood Feast" with a short screen shot in his "Serial Mom"(1994). Watch it and have a lot of fun! Cheers, Hershell!!
Hell Up in Harlem (1973)
Even more black coolness!
Another kick ass blaxploitation classic, director Larry Cohen really knows his stuff! "Hell Up in Harlem" features even more action than it´s great predecessor "Black Caesar" does! It´s a fast-paced crime story about the rise and fall of an Afro American godfather and everybody who loves such blaxploitations goodies like "Dolemite", "Blacula" or "Foxy Brown" should give it a look! Once more, main actor is the ultimate coolness and it´s no wonder why Quentin Tarantino digged him out for his funny "From Dusk Till Dawn" movie. Unfortunately, they don´t make stuff like this anymore! Movies like "Dead Presidents" or "New Jack City" are nothing else but failed attempts to exhume the blaxploitation genre! Better watch the originals again, they are da real deal!
Why, Romero, why?!?
George A. Romero gave us some of the best horror films ever! "Night of the Living Dead", "Martin", "Dawn of the Dead" or "Day of the Dead" are absolute classics of the genre! But since his "Monkey Shines" (1988) you can´t call Romero a master of horrors anymore, and his latest work "Bruiser" is the definitive low point in his career! The director tried to make something like an up-to-date horror movie, but he failed terribly, because this flick is nothing else like the 1000st version of 1990s mainstream crap à la "Scream", "Urban Legends" or "Final Destination": clean and polished horror with stylish picture, pseudo-cool twaddle, unbearable political correctness and endless boredom! The typical social critics or the highbrow depths of Romero´s elder works are totally missing as well as the personal note you used to get from his classics! Another annoyance is Peter Stormare´s role as sexist and arrogant manager guy Milo Styles! Stormare, who was great in films like "Fargo" and the only good thing in "8MM" extremely strains the audience´s nerves with his penetrant overacting! Main actor Jason Flemyng stays pale in the truest meaning of the word and even horror veteran Tom Atkins ("Halloween III", "Maniac Cop") could not save the film! A totally unnecessary flick
Black Caesar (1973)
Larry Cohen´s "Black Caesar" is next to the amazing "Foxy Brown" one of my absolute favorite Blaxploitation movies! It´s full of heavy gun violence, cynical humor and Fred Williamson in the lead is probably the coolest male Afro American actor of the 1970s! Take also note of the funky disco soundtrack by the Godfather of Soul James Brown! Will catch the indirect sequel "Hell Up in Harlem" soon, so watch out for my upcoming review!
Xie sha (1996)
Just a normal Asian soft sex film with a good camera work, stylish pictures and some quite pretty actresses. These were the positive aspects of the film. The negative ones: scanty horror elements, almost endless boredom, nothing obscure or bizarre you´re used to find in many other Asians movies! Only the last 15 minutes are fast-paced and suspense-packed, but if you have broke off before you don´t miss a thing! Just another film that the world doesn´t need...
Xue lian II (1995)
Grosser than part one!
The second part of the "Trilogy of Lust"-series tells the story about a woman who suffers from a childhood trauma when she was brutally raped by her uncle and his stinky booze companions. Now as an adult she leads two different lives: during the day she´s the upright manager of a firm, but at night she goes on murderous sprees, dressed in sexy rubber and latex costumes, to have sex with unsuspecting men. After the sexual intercourse she kills them violently and collects body parts like ears or noses as her trophies...
In contrast to the first part "Portrait of a Sex Killer" is no hardcore porn, but it has a much better developed story and also some really nasty killing scenes: one guy is tortured to death with the help of a nailgun, another has to serve as a human buffet... and also the two gang bang rapes this movie features are pretty disturbing! Julie Riva ("Bunman - The Untold Story") does a great job as ice cold revenging angel, next to Camille Keaton from "I Spit on your Grave" she´s probably the most frightening angry maltreaten woman ever in a film! So if you are into 1990s Asian cinema and you can also stand some explicit sex, torture and obscure killings then check this out!
Xue lian (1995)
Don´t expect anything great!
The story of this film is about a sensitive poor girl which gets sold to a moronic fish dealer who wants to do some perverse sexual practices with her. However, she falls in love with a young gardener boy and both start having a passionate sex affair. After this guy kills the fish dealer and his mother they have to flee from the police, what finally leads to their suicides...
The video label which distributes the first part of "Trilogy of Lust" here in Germany advertised it as "one of the most scandalous films of the 1990s". Now I am a huge fan of Asian cinema and after lots of culty or gruesome stuff like "The Audition", "Men behind the Sun", the Takeshi Kitano films etc. I had high expectations before I watched this. However, the result was a little disappointment, because "Xue lian" is nothing but a normal hardcore porn where the main actress constantly has sex with the same man. Some featured stuff is quite obscure and the climaxes are a scene where a woman get stimulated by an egg, a tame bondage sequence and a faked anal fist f*ck. The rest is business as usual! Personally, I prefer a film like "Tokyo Decadence" to this one, because TD is more stylish, better acted and has a much more developed plot... I will watch part two and three of the "Trilogy of Lust"-series soon, hope they will deliver more than the mediocre original does!