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Supernatural: Girls, Girls, Girls (2014)
Super hero fight??
I love this episode. Classic Supernatural.
But the fight between Dean and Cole is ridiculous, even for this show. In another episode Dean can't get a locked door open by jumping up against it. But here he can throw Cole through the windshield of a car, like it's nothing. First of all it requires enormous strength to throw a grown man through a car-windshield. I doubt, even the strongest man in the world could do this. Second of all, Cole gets right back up and fight Dean again. He would have been knocked out, maybe even break his spine. And thirdly: if Dean don't wanna kill Cole, it seems strange that he throws him through a windshield. I'm pretty sure it would kill a man in real life.
Finally an R-rated comicbook movie and they make it this lame
I was really looking forward to Deadpool as I'm a Ryan Reynolds fan and it's rated R.
However the humor is toilet humor. It's about farts, jerking off and comments about actors, including Reynolds himself and other movies.
The plot is that Wade Wilson gets terminal cancer and in order to save his life he agrees to undergo an experiment that will give him the power to heal. However Ajax, the man that turn people into mutants and sometimes just kill them, can't be trusted. And Ajax, who is the villain is played by the awful Ed Skrein from the awful reboot of Transporter. Ajax tortures Wade and the lab explodes (I can't remember why) and Wade has become scarred and takes the new identity as Deadpool. He starts to kill a lot of people looking for Ajax. But even though the movie is rated R, some scenes where he tortures badguys are actually not shown. Ajax in a desperate attempt to stop Wade kidnaps Wades boney girlfriend and Wade has to get help from the two most annoying X-men characters I have ever seen. Some lesbian looking teenage girl with a shaved head and a cgi-Russian guy made out of metal.
The violence is awesome and a welcome change from the bloodless Marvel violence. However all the violence can be seen in the red band trailer and the rest is crap. So if you've seen the trailer, I recommend not watching the movie as you will be really disappointed.
Bringing X-men into the movie is annoying as hell as I've always hated the X-men. And Wade talking to the camera gets really annoying after a while.
On top of that the action itself is disappointing as this is clearly a low budget movie.
Avoid this and watch the first Kickass movie (not the second one!!!) if you like violent superhero movies.
Supernatural: Fan Fiction (2014)
Episode 200: the worst episode ever!!!!
This joke of an episode adds absolutely nothing to the storyline in season 10 and can easily be missed. Which I recommend unless you're a sadomasochist.
I've always hated the episodes where Supernatural is fiction with in the show. I hate the character Carver Edlund and his books and the fact that he's a prophet. The only episode like this that is actually good and funny is the one where Sam and Dean go to another dimension where they're just the actors playing them on a show called Supernatural.
But this crap is the worst I've ever seen!! It's about a bunch of lesbian high school girls doing a musical based on Supernatural. And yeah it's as bad as it sounds. And no, I'm not out of line. They ARE lesbians. It's annoying, insulting, stupid and boring. And the real Sam and Dean is hardly in it at all. And they are actually moved by this crappy musical?? What the hell?? I wanted to kill those lesbians making fun of my two beloved characters and Bobby and Castiel. When two of the lesbians were playing them I wanted the real Bobby and Castiel to show up and kill them on the stage!! So far season 10 has been pretty bad. And if this episode is suppose to be a tribute to us fans: then I say no thank you!! It's not funny or moving: at best it's the show making a mockery of itself.
I found myself yelling at my TV, just waiting for the episode to end so the torture could stop.
The show probably should have ended after season 5 when the original story line ended. The truth is season 4 was the last really great season.
But the first 3 seasons were the best. No angels and no heaven. The show was not religious back then. Just Sam and Dean on the road. Which is when the show is best.
I'm still watching the show. But please: no more fan fiction episodes, no more Carver Edlund. And no more lesbian high school girls and no more musicals.
The Shrine (2010)
Garbage and an insult to all of Poland
Polish people are not living in medieval times. Contrary to what stupid bigot Americans, that has never been outside America, much less in Europe might think, polish people are just as modern as the rest of us. Al though not as stupid as Americans who believe something like this actually takes place in real life.
The lead is an incredibly stupid woman who gets what she deserves at the end of the movie.
Do not watch this, unless you're a stupid retarded American. To us Europeans and people with a normal intelligence it's sheer torture to sit through this crap.
Do not believe the crap either, where people are comparing this to Hostel. Hostel is a lot better and has a good story, good acting, real suspense and horror. Everything this load of crap lacks!!!
The Jungle Book (2016)
Disney doing terrible remake of one of their own cartoons based on a classic novel
Not that I consider the original cartoon a classic. And I've never read Rudyard Kiplings novel. But this crap is far worse than the cartoon.
First of all, the cgi in a movie relying this much on cgi needs to be state of the art. But in fact its almost as horrible as Spawn and The Scorpion King. Everything from the animals to the jungle is cgi. The snake and the tiger are the only ones that look like real animals. Making Louie, the monkey king act and sound like a mob-boss and look like Christopher Walken who is the voice, is a little funny, but not enough to make me any less bored at that point in the movie. As for the rest of the animals, if you're doing a feature version of a cartoon with talking animals, you better have that talent and the money to make it look good. They had neither here. The wolves are the worst cgi animated animals I have ever seen. After last years Jurassic World, its hard to believe they can get it this bad. The scene where the water puts out the fire in the jungle looks more fake than the water in The day after tomorrow. A 12 year old movie.
The plot itself (I don't know how close this is to the novel) steals from a lot of other movies. And it does so shamelessly and bad. From The Lion King to Ice Age, there is nothing original here. The movie also doesn't know if it once to be a serious interpretation of the novel or a kiddie-friendly version. So it fails as both versions.
And hearing the law of the jungle or whatever the damn thing was said out loud 3 times during the movie was 3 times too many.
The kid playing Mowgli is annoyingly cute, annoyingly clean and way way too human for a boy that was raised by animals. I found myself being really annoyed in a scene where Mowgli sits on the bears stomach as it floats on a river. The bear splashes water at Mowgli but his hair never gets wet. Again, this was complete cgi and the fact that I noticed this, shows how bad that scene and the whole movie was. Had I been excited and given a rats ass about any of the characters, I probably wouldn't have noticed it.
If they had had a bigger budget and made the animals real (which means they can't talk and they hunt, kill and eat each other) and they had made Mowgli a wild boy with no language, acting like an animal and made it R-rated for adults, then MAYBE they could have made a decent movie.
The worst part of it all is that Jon Favreau, who gave us the original first and excellent Iron Man movie actually directed this crap.
Avoid it. Even if you have kids around the age, this movie is meant for. They will find it even more boring than most of the adult audience already finds it. Let them watch the cartoon instead. At least it was fun to watch for me when I was a kid.
Once again, I wish IMDb, would allow the possibility of zero stars. Or in the case of this movie stars below zero would be even more fitting.
The Shining (1997)
It is closer to the book than Kubricks masterpiece. Not counting the over sentimental added ending, that was completely unnecessary.
But this is horrible. From the low budget, to the terrible acting to the censorship of TV, that doesn't allow for any f-words or any graphic violence.
Steven Webber is no Jack Nicholson. But he does a decent job as the only one in the small cast. But he's still just a TV-actor confined to TV-censor-ship.
Everyone else is just terrible. The kid playing Danny and the guy playing Hallorann are the worst. Because compared to fantastic Danny Lloyd and Scatman Crothers in the feature film, they are terrible. They are the ones with the ability to shine and they need to be powerful characters. In this TV-crap Danny is an annoying brat with way to many lines and Hallorann is just a pathetic old man.
Rebecca De Mornay does her best, but she never seems truly scared like Shelly Duvall in the feature film.
5 and a half hours is how long the miniseries last. And until Danny finally enters room 217 and find the lady in the bathtub it drags on and on with nothing happening.
This is especially a problem with The Torrances making several trips to Sidewinder and meet people there. This ruins the sense of isolation and being alone in the hotel. Because they can leave anytime they want to until the snow comes.
And explaining everything in detail to us very apparently dumb viewers doesn't help either.
The special effects are horrible. From the crappy looking cgi hedge animals, to the model of a snow-cat, to the hotel blowing up in the end, it all looks terrible.
The ghosts of the hotel, apart from the well made rotting lady in room 217, looks like ordinary people wearing Halloween makeup to look like ghosts.
The hotel itself seems too small, compared to the one in the feature film to ever be scary. In the feature film the enormous hotel itself, is a character. Here it's just a ordinary looking hotel that looks mostly like it's shot on sound-stages, which makes it that less believable.
I don't even think a graphic profanity filled version with a big budget on a pay per view channel could have made this any better. No matter what it would have still paled to Kubricks version.
The hotel in the feature film seemed very real and very scary.
I think Stephen King should have pulled his head out his ass and considered it an honor that Stanley Kubrick took his mediocre novel, not suitable for a movie adaptation at all, and turned it in to one of the best horror movies ever out of it. And that one of the greatest actors of that time Jack Nicholson played the lead.
I can only agree with King on one thing here. In Kubricks version Jack Torrance got mad too fast. But there was not enough time to show his decent into madness. As far as the alcoholism goes it is also shown in Kubricks version, but in a much better way.
Everything is just better in Kubricks version.
I can only warn people not to watch this.
Everything Bond should be.
Daniel Craig has taken the fun out of Bond. Gone is Pierce Brosnan, the humor, the babes, the exotic locations, the villains trying to destroy or take over the whole planet. Even the action sucks.
Enter the M.I. franchise, in particular the 5th movie and you have the perfect spy movie with lots of thrilling breath-taking real action scenes with real stunts done on location, real practical effects, babes, exotic locations, humor, energy, great characters, great stories and an energy and a fun thrill ride you won't find in the crappy awful Bond and Bourne franchises. Or in the even worse over bloated CGI and oh so serious and oh so boring superhero movies.
The reason: Tom Cruise: this guy loves acting, he loves movies and he loves making movies. The M.I. franchise is his baby and he cares what the audience wants. He still has the energy like when he was 25. And that shines through in his performance and it makes the other actors give themselves as much to the movie as he does.
That is particularly obvious with the hot new Swedish actress in Hollywood: Rebecca Ferguson. Not only does she have a great body as well as being beautiful, but she can also kick ass and do her own stunts as good as Tom Cruise.
I hope her character Ilsa Faust will be a new addition to Ethan Hunts team in future M.I. movies.
Daniel Craig, could learn something here. All he can do is bitch and moan about being Bond and he delivers the worst Bond ever. Thanks for nothing you ugly blond brite with pointy ears and a face like a 70 year old.
If you're fed up with superheroes and horrible PG13-remakes of R-rated classics and you miss those days, when they made old school action movies, that didn't have to be depressing and/or realistic, but just fun, this movie and this franchise is for you.
Retarded movie about retarded people
This is an extremely low budget movie about a woman, her husband and his brother who spends a weekend in a closed down state park.
Why is their not a big fence to keep people out? All of them, except maybe the woman seem extremely stupid and what they have coming is well-deserved.
Of course they're not alone.
*SPOILERS AHEAD* And we're suppose to believe that 3 ordinary teenage boys on mountain bikes are killing people that are dumb enough to go in to a closed state park.
The husband and his brother are killed pretty fast and the pregnant wife makes it back to the car. But the car won't start, because they boys have ruined the engine.
And yet these three experienced killers are dumb enough to fall for the traps this woman set for them and kill them all.
What little violence there is, is almost not shown at all.
The woman then takes the last boy's bike and ride it back to the city, where no one helps her in spite of the fact that she's covered in mud and blood.
And then the movie ends.
Don't waste your time on this garbage.
Dick Tracy (1990)
How could this movie win any awards that wasn't Razzies?
The most embarrassing part of the film is Warren Beatty (53 years old!!!) at the time casting himself as Dick Tracy, a part that should have been played by an actor 20 years younger than him. Due to Botox and plastic surgery he has as little facial movement as the actors wearing heavy makeup or masks to look like comic book characters. And he can't act either, which is possibly because there is no-one to direct him. And despite how great looking he think he is, he looks old and tired. All the great actors in this movie (not counting the very old douche-bag Warren Beatty) are completely wasted here, because they're unrecognizable in their heavy makeup or masks.
Apart from a funny Al Pacino) as the main villain "Big Boy.
And Dustin Hoffmann as Mumbles, that I didn't recognize until his second scene and in a closeup.
Madonna is very sexy as Breathless Mahoney, but they would get better acting out of a chimp than her.
As for the movie in general: the matte paintings and the stupid colors on the fake looking buildings that is suppose to look like a comic book city are not impressive. Especially not, thinking about Sin City, where this was done on a computer. And looked a 1000 times better. I know this movie was made 26 years ago, but it must have looked like crap even then.
And what's the deal with making all the badguys look like comic book characters and only 5 actors in the movie looking like human beings? Either they all look like comic book characters or they all look like human beings.
The movie is slow in pace and drags along and could easily have been half an hour shorter.
There is zero chemistry between Warren Beatty and Madonna and Warren Beatty and Glenne Headly. Probably due to the old Beatty, playing opposite women that could be his daughters and Beattys inability to direct other actors.
The kid playing Kid is okay.
Overall a dull movie and the worst comicbook adaptation I have ever seen.
Avoid this crap!!
South Park: Stunning and Brave (2015)
This is not South Park
I really hate this episode. It's not funny, it's not clever, it's just stupid!! The pc's are bullies and I'm sick of hearing of that freak Bruce/Caitlyn whatever Jenner.
Watching Cartman getting beat up bloody and end up hospitalized and watching Randy bully and terrorize his own son is just cruel and evil and hard to watch.
And nothing justifies bulying and violence, which is basically what this episode wants to tell us. That being a bigot justifies bullying and violence. What the hell???? Unbelievably stupid writing!! I am no longer a fan of South Park!!