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Brokeback Mountain (2005)
I don't get it
Oh, sure, the acting is great and the cinematography is beautiful but Hollywood sure likes to give people reasons to excuse bad behavior. Ennis was a horrible father and husband. Am I supposed to feel sorry for him because his "passion" could not be fully realized by living an out of the closet life and that's why he was an abusive husband? That's crap. Get over it. You got married to a woman and had babies. You have responsibilities, your wants and needs can't come first anymore. Make a decision to leave or stay but it doesn't entitle you to lie, neglect your wife and kids, and get mad at her for maybe wanting to live a freer life. I sure can't believe that's Michelle Williams from "Dick". Never would have thought she could have a serious film career but she and Heath really made me believe. Jake G, not so much. I think he's an overrated Indie darling.
The Object of My Affection (1998)
If you're in a good mood ....
don't watch this movie. It'll bring you right down. I watched this movie again after not having seen it for several years and only just realized, there is not a single person in Nina's life who is likable. . . except the old queen and the guy who Nina ends up with off screen (we see him very briefly 2 times and then finally at the very end). George promises never to keep secrets .. and then promptly starts keeping them. Vince has got to be single most unpleasant liberal to be around. A lot of people tell her they love her or care about her yet no one treats her like a person. However, she does seem to have a large extended "family" around her and Molly will be a very doted on little girl . . . and luckily no one around her seems to age while she gets 5 years older.
Minority Report (2002)
What happened to the Constitution?
*Spoiler alert* I have many many things to say about the many illogical plot points of this movie but most are being said already so here's one. I kept thinking throughout the movie that sometime between now and 2054 we must have thrown out the US Constitution. First of all, the foundation of Precrime rests with the precogs... floating HUMANS. So, they clearly have no rights. Second, premurderers are arrested immediately with only a retinal scan to confirm who they are and sent immediately to Containment. No trial, lawyer, no judge, no jury and once they are haloed, effectively no longer living either. So in essence, capital punishment with absolutely NO DUE PROCESS!!! So for the sake of the story, I suspended disbelief and went with it. Yet there John Anderton was (AFTER the time of the murder had already expired to boot!) administering the Miranda warning. Apparently, the Constitution still does exist but only when it suits the plot. Mr. Spielberg, I love you but this is a lesser director's effort not worthy of the man who has brought us so many brilliantly done movies before. Thank god I paid less than the price of a rental to see this as I won't be renting it in the future (well, maybe in 2054, if I live that long, just to compare)
Coyote Ugly (2000)
shooting fish in a barrel
** Spoiler alert but there's no way that could possibly ruin your experience of this flick** I realize that panning this movie is as easy as my subject line, but, come on, this girl has to move 42 miles to NYC in order to become a songwriter? Please. I drive farther than that to work every day. Why can't she live at home and write songs and take the train into the city to peddle her songs. Oh, sorry. It was in the script. That's why. Even a hick that lives in Mississippi knows you don't just walk into Sony Music Publishing and say "Please please listen to my tape". And I know my girlfriends always sit around in greasy spoon diners in the middle of the night in NYC betting on fav movies of this month's centerfold. Of course, when you have robbers that know to look in the freezer for money but don't bother to steal "big-time-songwriter equipment" (or does she leave it on the roof of her apartment building rain OR shine?), I guess you don't worry about those things. Bottom line: If you don't have a penis or aren't a lesbian, there's not much reason to recommend this movie