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This is an hilarious movie
I stumbled onto this movie on broadcast TV, and couldn't stop laughing. Just looked it up...it's a Mike Judge movie? What the heck...the studio must not have advertised it at all. (Yet they pump tens of millions into adverts for horrible Melissa McCarthy movies!).
Maybe Mike Judge is being punished for telling the truth too often. (See "Idiocracy"). I see a lot of people slamming this movie because Ben Affleck is in it? Honestly, I think we've gotten to the point in our culture that people are unable to think for themselves, and just reflexively "hate on someone" because that's what they heard someone else do. It's stupid.
See Extract! It's hilarious!
This is what Hollywood does
So Stabone wanted to depart from his usual toughguy persona, and do some comedy. That's what Dolly does. Since they are both big stars with big box office, a couple of producers said "Hey, how about if we set this up so Dolly says she'll make the next guy who walks in the door a country western singer, and Stabone, the New York cabbie walks in! Bingo, fish out of water meets My Fair Lady!"
Small problem. Stabone, despite all of the studio tricks in the world, and songs written to limit his need to actually sing, is absolutely the worst singer on earth. And I imagine on the set, because Stabone is Stabone, nobody told him. I'm guessing they said "sounds great, Sly"! And "you're as good as Frank (Stabone)".
When Stabone "sings", it sounds actually like he is gruffly saying "Ruh Ruh Ruh" into the microphone. Then, Dolly and her friends say "Wow, he's great!", which seems unlikely. The script is filled out with some incredibly lame jokes, delivered by Stabone, who, in addition to not being a singer, is also not a comedic actor. There is also some sort of romance supposedly blooming between Stabone and Dolly, which again seems somewhat unlikely, because he is a young handsome in-shape dude, and she is some sort of weird huge-bosomed southern anomaly, possibly created in a laboratory.
I would like to see this shown in midnight movies. I believe it would draw great raucous crowds who would come back week after week. After that, perhaps a broadway adaptation in 10 years.
Confession: This is One Dangerously Bad Movie
This movie looks like the kind of picture that was in development for 10 years. What a freaking disaster. Trying to be 10 pictures at once. Trying to be a love story, a potboiler, a biopic, a period piece. It's a piece all right.
Loved the book when I read it ten years ago. Doesn't seem like the screenplay came from the same book; all they have in common is the title.
Once again, the overrated principals involved fail to make an interesting picture. How can people actually think these terrible movies Soderburgh is making are any good at all? It's all style, no substance, and technically lousy filmmaking. And Clooney? The only thing he's proven is that as a director, I guess his acting isn't that bad. Oh, and Drew Barrymore is typically forgettable. Keep mugging for the camera, Drew, someone apparently finds it charming. I really don't mean to be so freaking negative, I appreciate the hard work that entertainers do, but this is honestly a lousy effort. How it has a 7.2 rating on IMDB shows how little IMDB users actually know about anything.
Road House (1989)
Waitress, there's a tooth in my glass
Swazee makee me crazee with his philosophee punching wayzies! Dalton, do yer punchin' whilst bleach blonde Kelly Lynch cottons bunchin'. Sam Elliot says grizzled and grisled beef that's what's for dinner. Hey Kevin Tighe! No more career Emergency! for you! (for now!) Blues twanger Jeff Healy turn yer Angel Eyes away from the hate in Brad Wesley's Gazarrified heart! The polar bear on wheels may have put in the best performance here. John Doe, X marks the spot where you touched me as Pat McGurn, Wesley's nephew. Carrie Ann, Barmaid/Singer at Double Deuce, you better knock, knock on wooden acting. See the sex scene that launched the against-the-wall coitus craze of the 90s! If there were an Oscar for mullet count, and there should be, it would be Rowdy Herrington to the stage please.
The Specials (2000)
Whew. Not good
The type of movie that makes you wonder "how did this get made?" I mean it's got some talented people in it. Good actors. I like Thomas Hayden Church A LOT, and same for Jamie Kennedy. Rob Lowe's a deek, but he's at least famous. I guess they were working for a paycheck, because this script IS TERRIBLE. Not funny. Great idea. The fact that this and Mystery Men failed so miserably with basically the same premise/conflict set up makes me want to write the same movie only MAKE IT FUNNY THIS TIME. It doesn't get a 1 because the performances are really a 7 or 8.
Donnie Darko (2001)
Not as good as some say, and not as bad as others. The kind of movie that "really makes you think" if you haven't spent much time thinking, which is probably why it's rated so high...plenty of kids voting. Jake Gyllenhaal does a pretty good job, and Mary McDonnell is typically excellent. Drew Barrymore is totally miscast, but since she "exec produced" it, I guess she cast herself. The politics stuff is totally out of place and ridiculous. I liked the Church and Echo songs, and thought the "music video" segments were neato. An interesting film in an "art for art's sake" way. That's it. If you think it's one of the best films ever made, you need to see more films. Go rent Touch of Evil right now. What, you haven't even seen Citizen Kane yet? Please stop voting on IMDB.
Double Jeopardy (1999)
A STEAMING PILE OF DOG POOP
I saw it on a plane and wanted to jump out. At one point, I blurted out "for God sakes, come on". Film appreciation can be subjective. In this case, however, I'm sorry, if you liked this movie, YOU ARE WRONG. IT'S POOP. ABSOLUTE POOP. The script and acting are lousy, but more importantly, THE DIALOG SEEMS TO HAVE BEEN WRITTEN BY A 4 YEAR OLD. It honestly doesn't seem like a professional writer could have written it; I think you could pick a slow 5th grader at random, and he or she could do as good a job. I'd rather watch a Fear Factor marathon. If you hooked jumper cables to my genitals and offered a choice between flipping the switch and watching this movie, I'd probably say "GIVE ME THE JUICE". Give me a hair sandwich, a jalapeno enema, make me have sex with an old lady, just don't make me watch THE WORST MOVIE I'VE EVER SEEN, DOUBLE JEOPARDY STARRING ASHLEY JUDD. Thank you.
Love the Who. Love Ann Margaret. Unfortunately, this is a steaming pile of dog poop. I was really stoned when I saw it, so that wasn't the problem. It's just a lot of disturbing imagery. The only thing positive about it, perhaps, is that it portrays the desperate, frantic nature of drug addiction, directly and indirectly, through images.
Then there's the Ann Margaret rolling around with the turds thing. Truly appropriate. What a turd-festival.
Stay away like it has SARS.
The Royal Tenenbaums (2001)
What's the big deal?
Like Anderson's previous work "Rushmore", "Tenenbaums" got tons of hype, and raves as being "groundbreaking" and "brilliant".
I can't really see what the fuss is about. As a comedy, Tenenbaums simply didn't make me laugh. At all. I didn't even know what I was supposed to laugh at.
As a drama, the story was mildly interesting. The characters were pretty flat, though, and really didn't do anything to make care a bit what happened to them.
Great actors, especially the always great Huston, and Luke Wilson had some moments. Gwenyth Paltrow has depth, but again, in this film her character seemed one-dimensional.
All I can guess, is that like the music of Tenacious D, and the films of Guy Ritchie, the hipsters amongst us have decided that Wes Anderson is cool, and his material is vague enough that these people can claim that there's more going on than actually is.
There isn't. Zoolander is 10 times the comedy this thing is. I'm giving it a 4 to offset the dopes that gave it a 10. 6 is probably more fair.
Dead Presidents (1995)
The Hughes Brothers have a visual sense, and can direct action, but the dialog was pretty pedestrian, and there was a sense of too many people working here.
It's a war pic, it's a romance, it's a heist movie, it's a buddy movie, it's a message movie.
Clarity, gentlemen. Let one person write the script and stick to it (with small adjustments).
There was some to praise here, including the fact that the Hughes Bros. drew excellent performances from several actors here (Keith David is always convincing), and especially Larenz Tate. He's a good young actor...I'm surprised to see he's done little of note since.
Love Stinks (1999)
I'm sorry, but this movie is absolutely hi-freaking-larious! It's truly politically incorrect, and the kind of film the dopes in Hollywood are usually afraid to make.
I caught this movie accidently, and expected it to suck because all of the reviews were awful.
Shows how much they know. Fact of the matter is, if you can get by the near misogyny of a man screaming how much he ABSOLUTELY HATES a woman (who deserves it), this movie is FALL-DOWN-FUNNY.
It's directed by Jeff Franklin, who's happens to be the demonic creature who wrought "Full House" for a decade. He apparently had a similarly bad relationship in his past, because the vitriol Stewart's character (a TV writer, no surprise) spews, sounds authentic, and personal.
Perhaps the cheesy pap he knocked out as the Olson Twins' director made him want to go far in the other direction...I don't know.
All I can say is French Stewart, Bill Bellamy, and Brigit Whatsername were hi-freaking-larious in this well-put together comedy. It's a 9.
Rent it, you won't regret it.
Dances with Wolves (1990)
Mind-blowing Directorial debut for Costner
Really amazing that Costner got this very large film made. Anyone who says they weren't impressed and moved by this huge, beautiful, compelling film, is either lying, or braindead.
Costner was convincingly simple as Civil War soldier John Dunbar, and Native Americans Graham Greene and Rodney A. Grant turned in fascinating performances.
Costner is a punching bag, I guess because of his perceived politics, or maybe just because he picked the wrong time to be a straight white man who plays heroic characters.
He has made some stinkers, but this one, like Bull Durham and JFK, is a great film. (No Way Out, Field of Dreams, and Tin Cup, not bad either.)
Dancing with Wolves was deserving of all the Oscars it got. Hope Costner has 'em on his mantle.
Midnight Run (1988)
Charles Grodin and Robert DeNiro together means great acting. Excellent script. This thing is a hoot. Rent it, you will not regret it.
Don't see it on TV because the swearing is integral.
(Walsh got the f'ing Duke!)
Touch of Evil (1958)
Orson Welles. Superlative filmmaking.
Can't call myself an expert on Welles. Can only say I saw Citizen Kane, the greatest film of all time, and Touch of Evil, easily one of the top 10.
Welles acting performance in Touch of Evil is indescribable. He is the character.
Heston is hardly convincing as an hispanic, yet still his performance is excellent. I've seen many of Heston's films, and I think Welles brought out his best here.
The story is gripping, the execution stunning for its period. As many have said here, the cinematography in this film is state of the art and eons ahead of its time. But what really impressed me was the confidence in which Welles used the camera as another character, seemingly without effort. 16 years after Citizen Kane, he still had it.
His personal story is nearly as gripping. Read it here: http://obits.com/wellesorson.html
See this movie.
Blue Velvet (1986)
David Lynch at his best. This is at once beautiful and disturbing. An engrossing plot, which much of Lynch's work lacks (or maybe I just don't get 'em.)
Hopper, Rossolini, McLachlan, Stockwell. All brilliant performances. Should have won the best picture Oscar.
See it. It's cool.
This is #17? Just shows how much this voting really means...
The 17th best film of all time? Maybe if you're 13. This is a nice little adventure story, and quite frankly, if you think this is a great film, your nerd is showing.
It's good, but I'm giving it a 3 just to balance out all the idiots, and there's 24,000 of them, that gave it a 10. Get a life, people, or at least a girlfriend.
It's actually more like a 6 or 7.
George Lucas makes nice action figures.
Please don't mess with this show. You seem to be trying to kill it by following it up with "The Left Wing"...who are the network geniuses who came up with that scheduling gaffe? It's like putting "Dark Angel" on after "Matlock"! What are you guys, idiots?
Ed is funny, it's not vulgar, and it's well-written. I can't imagine why you're not crowing about it from the top of a mountain. If you used half of your "Will and Grace" promos for Ed, the show would be a ratings winner.
And don't give me this crap about "the demographics not being right". Who's got all the money in this country? Not the dingbats who watch "Fear Factor".
Tell your salesnerds to keep Ed on the air by selling Buicks, and Target Store garden hoses, and we'll all be just fine. I just want four seasons, and syndication (and don't I know so does Dave).
Then I can tape all the episodes, and you can go back to running "Dick Clark's Fear Factor Bloopers in Marquesas" or whatever you've got in the hopper.
Definitely won't be distributed by the Xenia Chamber of Commerce...
I was born and raised in Ohio, and believe me, this is not a pretty picture of rural Ohio.
Unfortunately, it's also not inaccurate. There are plenty of people all through the midwest just like the twisted folk in Gummo.
Is it weird? Yes. Is it accurate? Probably. Is it A GOOD MOVIE? Well, I'll leave that to the experts. It certainly compelled me for a couple of hours, and left me thinking afterwards.
Can't say that about many films.
Harmony Korine certainly has talent. I look forward to seeing his films in the future, and wonder if he can hold my interest with less shocking material.
Circus of the Stars #14 (1989)
Three Rings of Brilliance!
Fred Willard and Willie Aames on the same show? Somebody pinch me! Lynn Redgrave's horsewomanship made me want to see her sassy sister Vanessa tame a pack of wild hyenas! Groooooowr! And don't even get me started on Mayim Bialik..she was stunning in the hoop-de-hoop thing! She's a BLOSSOMing superduperstar! All right, I'm settling down now, but let me ask you...has there ever been a better Ringmaster than Stacy Keach? Ever? I'm Keachless! Karen Black handled that elephant like a pro! I truly believe that she should change professions and become a full-time elephant woman. The world deserves it! And when Tracy Scoggins, David Leisure, and Deidre Hall dressed up like clowns, and pretended to throw water at Telma Hopkins and Ahmet Zappa, I thought I was going to die! And there was just shredded paper in the buckets! This was a 10+++!
If you are pretty smart, you'll like this...
If you are not, you won't. It's a really clean movie, except for one silly orgy scene, (no nudity) so you can take the kids, (although they won't get the jokes.)
It's really well done. This is a nine, folks.
Get Carter (2000)
ZZZZZZZZ oh wait, Get Carter is almost half over...
I thought "Assassins" was the biggest piece of fecal I'd ever seen, and then I saw "Get Carter". Yo Sylvester! Stay out of Seattle.
I can't decide whether the script was more boring or confusing. Boring! Confusing!
It's a toss up.
Sly looked kinda cool in the threads. Rachel Leigh Cook is a babe. There...I said two nice things about the movie.
I'm cheering for you, Rock. You were great in Copland. Please find an agent/advisor/something.
The Blair Witch Project (1999)
Genius at work here...
This is a wonderfully-crafted film, and it shows how much (or little) money matters in filmmaking.
One way to tell how good a script is, is how UNSCRIPTED the dialogue sounds. I'm still not sure "Blair Witch Project" operated on much of a script; I do know that regardless, the story moved along masterfully.
I had heard that in early screenings, audiences who didn't know better really believed the film to be true, and were genuinely horrified.
The true genius of this film is THAT I KNEW IT WAS FAKE, AND WAS STILL TRULY FRIGHTENED BY IT. (I'm a grown man not usually affected by such things.)
After first seeing this film, I used it as a yardstick when judging people I had just met. I asked them if they had seen it, and asked them what they thought of it.
Those that saw it and enjoyed it on some level, I decided, had some imagination and were people I wanted to know. Those that disliked (or hated) it, were not the type I wanted to hang around with.
Maybe it's TV, maybe its technology, maybe it's the lack of reading and education in our country, but there's a real dearth of imaginative people in the U.S.
It's a shame.
Eric Bogosian does it again. He made a great film with Oliver Stone (Talk Radio), and here he works wonders again with Richard Linklater (of Slacker fame).
Giovanni Ribisi is marvelous. Prior to viewing this film, I thought he was just a teen actor. Steve Zaun is also wonderful (the scene where he impulsively jumps up and hits his head on the street sign for no reason is a fave). Parker Posey (growl noise). Yummy.
Good film. Some plot problems, and a few issues here and there, but the wonderful Bogosian-penned dialogue makes up for it all.
All in all a solid 8-9.
Getting Even with Dad (1994)
I saw this movie on an Amtrak train, and I almost jumped off! I had a 48 hour trip, and I was sick of reading, so I went to see the nightly entertainment, which was this steaming lump of doggie poop. Oh man, was this movie bad.
I like Ted Danson, and MacCauley Culkin is O.K. and all, but there's absolutely nothing remotely interesting going on in this movie. Rent this for the 10 and under set, or better yet, hand them a book.
This is one dumb movie.
Any Given Sunday (1999)
I can still smell this movie...
I love Oliver Stone's films. He's a great storyteller.
Al Pacino is cool. He's an icon for many because of "Scarface", and is obviously one of our finest American actors.
I also love football. The simple premise: "a film that depicts what happens behind the scenes in pro football" is fascinating.
That's why I had such high hopes for this film. Unfortunately, this film stinks of desperation; either Stone's to have a big hit film, or the studio's to do the same.
I don't really remember anything about this movie other than there were a lot of loud smashing noises when the players hit one another on the field.
It just didn't come together, and seemed terribly disjointed. Stone the artist, I'm sure, could explain that this was purposeful, and added to the spinning realism of the film.
I just found it loud and annoying. Looking forward to your next film, Mr. Stone.