Reviews written by registered user
Gubby-Allen

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163 reviews in total 
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0 out of 1 people found the following review useful:
Crap, 11 January 2015
3/10

Run of the mill, low brow, cheap, part horror film eg pretty dreadful.

Every cliché in the book is used up here, from the absolutely ridiculous choices made by the characters, going alone into dark and empty places, not asking for help, police officers not believing them, or being sent as back up anywhere, irritating music through loud bangs for suspense and the ending leaving it open for more.

It kept me watching throughout and with a decent ending could have scraped into the 'OK' category but it did not and in end was the sort of amateurish, clichéd film you have seen 100 times before.

3/10

Marvellous (2014) (TV)
3 out of 3 people found the following review useful:
Outstanding Film, 31 December 2014
8/10

Marvellous is a film you could safely recommend to anybody.

It is difficult to envisage what you could not like or gain from watching it. It will take you through every emotion imaginable in the 90 minutes and can justifiably apply a range of genres.

It's is slightly slow in the earlier portion, the chronology goes slightly awry at times but nothing which hinders it and you can near guarantee being enriched through the life of Baldwin and performance of Jones being presented to you.

The only downside is that neither film or actor probably meet any of the award season elligibility criteria.

Locke (2013)
0 out of 4 people found the following review useful:
I enjoyed the twist at the end., 31 December 2014
2/10

The twist being the realisation towards the end, that absolutely **** all was going happen.

I should have loved this, everything about it was exactly what I enjoy. One person in a predicament, set in the confined area etc, eg Castaway, Phonebooth, Buried etc. I stuck with it throughout, it flagged a little in parts, but keeps you interested.

That's with the premise that the story is all building up to something. Locke is so composed throughout all that is going on, Hardy giving a very subtle performance leading you towards either a twist, a revelation or a coming together. Hints are thrown in, Locke having an ailment suggests it may lead somewhere.

About 10 or 15 minutes out, is the gradual realisation that absolutely nothing is going to happen, there is no revelation, no hints to any resolutions, which the time frame of the film would admittedly not allow.

We have merely been privy to a car journey which was like an individual episode of your run of the mill soap opera, only nothing more is to follow.

Yes, Locke went through some life altering events in the course of a car journey, (most of it within the middle third) but it's whether they warranted being put to the plot of a film for entertainment or stimulation. Although, when we have had a decade and more of the public watching a group of 12 people sat in a house for 3 months, the popularity of a man sat in a car for 2 hours shouldn't come as much surprise.

Even after an hour, this could have been a 7/10 or more with a well crafted resolution. It had the exact opposite.

2 out of 8 people found the following review useful:
It should keep the kids amused for a bit., 27 December 2014
2/10

I watched this without knowing anything about it at all.

Some people argued, some people shouted back at them, then some other people chased some other people, then they all had a fight, then had to make some decisions.

Then a load of monsters and superheroes turned up, then all of the same things happened again but with the superheroes involved this time and with explosions too and more fighting, it seemed to be over something important.

Then one of the teams won, which seemed to be the right result looking at the people I was watching it with.

I had a feeling I had seen this or a similar story in something once, when I was a kid but everyone else who watched it with me seemed to be interested, so should keep the kids amused for a while.

Ted (2012)
19 out of 32 people found the following review useful:
7.2/10??? What on earth do people see in this? It's 200 Farts & a car chase., 20 January 2013
1/10

Ted - 200 Farts & a car chase. Utterly woeful 1/10 Meant to watch it last night but got too late. Ended up flicking through to find the Confessions of Plumbers Mate & Driving Insructor on Movies 24. Dreadful films, as bad as you can get and the IMDb ratings of 2.5 /10 is generous, but was keeping an eye out for Robert Lindsay, Elaine Paige and Biggins.

The single one thing you take for granted when you watch a film & a British 70s tawdry sex comedy was the previous flick you've seen 24 hours earlier is that it's some sort of improvement. This had the unique achievement of being even worse.

It's just truly woeful. I cannot overemphasise just how dreadful this film is & I grew up through the 80s and loved them. The supposed jokes (and I use the term extremely loosely) are futile, just farts, f*cks & wank1ng, characters completely uninteresting and who you never give a toss about & little if any plot.

Two or three scenes are so cringingly bad you wonder how they ever were even suggested. The restaurant scene where he brushes away a fart and the three businessman create a fuss must have been penned by a five year old. The Flash Gordon scenes were dreadful, the entire kidnapping plot line and the Dad & child should have been removed completely.

Wahlberg said he wished he got Teddy Ruxpin for Christmas instead. So do I, I'd happily have watched that & spared me the 100 minutes lost watching this cringingly amateurish, painful drivel.

Easily in the worst 10 of my 800+ ranked films and beneath Robin Askwith & his chums and doesn't deserve the 1/10.

0 out of 4 people found the following review useful:
Just Stupid. Absolutely Stupid by the end., 17 January 2013
3/10

My thoughts tend to echo what many have said here. It's starts off fairly run of the mill for a couple of episodes and the end of disc 1 and all two - so up to episode 7, is pretty decent, you think you're onto an OK show.

From then on, it is pitiful. You've ignored some of the clichés up to here, but they wipe out every one in the book within a few episodes. I really am amazed episodes 8-12 inclusive were ever approved for broadcast, it's total nonsense.

An grey haired, ageing, late 50s killer armed with a small knife is near invincible, taking on anyone, of any strength, even with an arsenal of guns and coming away on top, showing the speed of Usain Bolt to get around and coming out away looking like he's on his way to a job interview.

Totally absurd and baffling decisions are made, nobody makes any attempt to swim or row away from the island, they're all quite happy to leave a serial killer physically fully able and 20 yards from away with only some bars separating them while they chuckle and chatter away in the police station.

Of course you can clock, hours from the end the clichéd last characters who will be left and who'll survive. Why not show some imagination and have had one or two of the lesser characters have got away, or separately made their way off the island, just to offer something different? In fairness, the final episode isn't awful and does tie up a previous five hours of total nonsense together pretty well in the end, but this was a missed opportunity to have created a decent show that offered something different from the stereotypical teen slasher drivel. Unfortunatey, it was every bit as bad by the end.

Not as good as I remember, 13 January 2013
6/10

Watched for first time in over 20 years.

Not as good as I remembered - I certainly didn't recall it as being almost entirely about a trek from one side of the back garden to the other.

It drags a lot in the middle but rushes the end, from when they are found it's all done in 10 minutes.

You could also be quite pedantic on their sizes which didn't always correlate.

Still good fun though and one of the better 80s or 90s family films and some amusing moments.

About 5.5/10.

0 out of 1 people found the following review useful:
A Film About Dementia, 13 January 2013
6/10

This was a decent (but nothing more) biographic film of Mrs T and I'm sure an equally competent and interesting film about dementia.

Unfortunately, I didn't really want to watch the latter, only the first part. Consequently, a whole range of issues such as the miners strike, the Brighton Bombing, The Falklands War, much of 1970-79 and some harrowing events in the 1980s, embassy sieges, riots, disasters are all either ignored or glossed over.

Whilst it's near on impossible to condense all of that into a two hour bio, there are about 30 minutes of modern day scenes and imaginary conversations with Dennis (which I have no idea on their accuracy) but dominated the film far too much and could have been halved and an extra three or four minutes given to the events listed above.

Still, enough of an interesting insight into the life but could've been so much better.

1 out of 1 people found the following review useful:
A magnificent & powerful cinematic masterpiece..., oh no, sorry, my mistake. It was s**t., 5 January 2013
1/10

I saw the rating of 2.0 when I browsed the four films on this DVD. I wasn't expecting much, but I expected a bit more than this. Hugh Grant, Malcolm McDowell, a suspense thriller, I thought maybe a 3 or even a 4/10.

But there was not a single redeemable quality to it, not one and the 2.0 average rating looks extremely generous. You find yourself asking all sorts of questions throughout, outside of the obvious "what the hell am I wasting my time with this for". Why characters are doing what they are doing, why has this happened, what it is, why has it gone to slow-motion...but they're all rhetorical questions as you know nobody has the faintest idea, even those that wrote it probably.

The end makes no sense - following on nicely from the previous 90 minutes. The cameraman at times was either sloshed or in hysterics (probably at taking a wage for a film like this) that the shots jump around all over the place, I'm sure he trips over while filming at one point.

There's an recurring focus on a pigeon flying around the sky, which at first is unnecessary and irritating but by the end the pigeon is one of the few who come away with any credit at all and leave with his head held high.

By my reckoning Hugh Grant and Vera have sex three times within 24 hours of meeting and by the end of the first full night are chatting away like they're Terry and June when in reality they've known each other less than a day.

There are some films down at the 1/10s, the Robin Askwith ones, where they are so bad they are quite amusing for it. This wasn't one of those.

1 out of 1 people found the following review useful:
As dreadful as the first film was brilliant, 15 December 2012
5/10

Home Alone was brilliant, an absolute classic, suitable for the entire family.

This was absolutely dreadful and suitable for 15 year olds and little else.

Home Alone retained elements of realism and you always felt that Kevin's sole intention was protecting his home. Nothing more than that and the traps were amusing ones.

In Home Alone 2, every stunt, trick or booby trap (be it Kevin or Harry) bordered on either the absurd or the sadistic. Add to that the entire airport episode was too nonsensical to take seriously.

Rolling some marbles to cause two men to fall in the street you can laugh off & ignore once, but they were numerous. Hurling bricks from a top of a building at somebody, setting fire to them, filling toilets up with petrol, wasn't funny, was a little uncomfortable to watch with children, who equally found no fun in it.

You could make a decent argument that Kevin was actually the sadistic one in this film & could quite easily have shopped them to the Police instead of luring them to the house.

Then they'd have been no film, which in hindsight would've been a blessing.

I'll stick with the original from now on, which was immaculately written in the main, rather watch that twice in a row than this again.


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