Reviews written by registered user

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139 reviews in total 
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2 out of 7 people found the following review useful:
transcript of the meeting of some MGM executives (a dramatization), 19 October 2002

MGM Exec #1: I've got a great idea, boss! I don't think that Hollywood has ruined enough musicals by making them into movies...let's do another one!

MGM Exec #2: Hey, that's a great idea! I'm so nostalgic for those days when we really bastardized the Broadway versions of musicals.

MGM Exec #3: How about we do that to "Annie Get Your Gun" this time?

Head Honcho: I love it! Put thousands of dollars into the project and make sure to get the most expensive sets and costumes! I want it to be really colorful! And hire the most expensive actors too, even if they wouldn't be right for their parts!

MGM Exec #1: Let's cast really subtle actors as energetic characters! If they under-act, who really cares? We'll balance it out with Betty Hutton, the goofiest actress in Hollywood! Her over-acting makes Jim Carrey look like Keanu Reeves - even though those people haven't been born yet! Don't forget that, when a woman has a crush on a man, she has an irresistible urge to bulge her eyes, hang her mouth wide open, and stare at him weakly. Have Betty Hutton really over-do this move at least 2 or 3 times.

MGM Exec #2: You know what, let's make the movie over-long too, despite cutting out some parts of the script. We'll do that by adding completely unnecessary scenes and having it paced fairly slowly.

MGM Exec #3: Oh, and we should make the ending seem more forced as well!

Head Honcho: Perfect! Oh, and don't forget to include plenty of offensive stereotypes of Native Americans!

MGM Executives: (leaving to go worship Satan) We will!


P.S. Well, okay, I don't really hate the movie THAT much, but it was very disappointing. One more thing: I'm not any good at catching movie flubs, but this movie also contains the most blatant goof ever. I am baffled that no one caught it before the movie was released. It comes just before Hutton sings "You Cain't Get a Man With a Gun" - you'll catch it as long as you have eyes.

Barbershop (2002)
I loved it!, 5 October 2002

Negative stereotyping? Anti-black cliches? Oh, you can b***h, b***h, b***h all you want, Jesse Jackson - I'm not African-American, but all the African-Americans in the theater were laughing as hard as I was. I don't understand how anyone can find this movie offensive (except for maybe Jesse Jackson alone, since he really gets shot down in this movie). I didn't think it portrayed black people in a bad way. I thought it was the most pro-black movie I've seen in a while: these people had a hell of a lot more personality than the typical Hollywood portrayal of an African-American (see "Not Another Teen Movie" for a send-up of the "Token Black Guy", or see "Canadian Bacon" for an explanation that it's always the black guy that dies; actually, don't see those movies, they're pretty bad...but I digress). And damn, was it funny. One of the funniest movies of the year. Highly recommended if you wanna have a good time.

1 out of 2 people found the following review useful:
take it for what it is, 7 September 2002

For God's sake, will you people calm down? It seems that all that has to happen is for "Citizen Kane" to make the AFI's #1 slot on a top 100 greatest movies list, and every yokel whose favorite movie is "The Matrix" or "Titanic" or "Spider-Man" thinks they should see this movie, and, feeling that it didn't live up to the title of #1, thinks they should bash the film on the IMDB comments.

Take "Citizen Kane" for what it is: a great drama even today, a showcase of some very talented people, a very innovative movie in film history, technologically thrilling for its time. If you're expecting the greatest movie of all time, you will probably be disappointed. If you have never seen an old movie before, "Citizen Kane" is not the place to start. If you have no appreciation for old movies, "Citizen Kane" will not cure you of that.

If, however, you are merely expecting a great drama / mystery, and you actually have pretty good taste in movies, and you are not afraid of black-and-white movies, then by all means see "Citizen Kane"; you won't regret it. But as for #1 movie of all-time, well...if you are an average viewer and not a distinguished critic, "Citizen Kane" probably won't live up to the hype.

P.S. If you think I am only saying it's a great drama / mystery because it's the AFI's #1 movie, why don't you go watch "Titanic" again?

No Way Out (1987)
2 out of 3 people found the following review useful:
brilliant, suspenseful, underrated, 26 August 2002

I loved this Cold War suspense movie. It certainly had a lot of suspense; I was, as the cliche goes, on the edge of my seat. It also has one of the best chase scenes I've ever seen, a hell of a great plot twist, and some great acting from Will Patton, Sean Young, Kevin Costner, and George Dzundza (Gene Hackman's performance is actually kinda disappointing, but I think it's because he really isn't given much to do, save for a few key scenes). Sure, you have to suspend your disbelief a bit when it comes to the Pentagon, but I could overlook that for the real content of the movie. It really is fabulous. Oh, BTW, the beginning is kinda slow, but don't worry, it picks up soon enough.

6 out of 6 people found the following review useful:
not the best entry in the series, but it's the one that started it all, 17 August 2002

I love the "Road" series (I've seen all except "Zanzibar"), and I'm glad that someone saw the potential to become a great series that "Road to Singapore" had. I might not have seen this potential from the first film; the jokes were weaker and sparser than some of their later work. But many of the jokes were funny, and they even worked some drama in there, something missing from their later films; you can decide for yourself if this is a good thing or a bad thing. It's worth checking out, but see "Morocco" and "Utopia" first (and maybe "Zanzibar").

0 out of 3 people found the following review useful:
unaffecting, unmemorable, but kinda decent, 16 August 2002

"Fear of a Black Hat" did not affect my life negatively or positively. I did not make me a better person, nor did it enrage me with dislike. It just hung there, like a limp fish. Some jokes were funny. Most weren't. In a few years, I'll probably forget most of what happened. "Fear of a Black Hat" reached whole new levels of mediocrity. Just my opinion, anyway.

0 out of 1 people found the following review useful:
It's time for another installment of "Guy Movie Review", 9 August 2002

Yes, this is a Guy Movie Review, because "Demolition Man" is not supposed to be a great movie, but it is certainly a fun movie, and definitely a testosterone-soaked guy movie. If you're a woman, you probably shouldn't bother seeing this. But as for the guys...see this with a couple of pals over some beers. You'll see a lot of well-made gunfights and fistfights, and many explosions. You'll see Wesley Snipes as a maniacal, violent villain and Sylvester Stallone as a ruthless cop in this fish-out-of-water movie. You'll see a completely unnecessary (although rather brief) shot of a naked woman, and you'll see a very inventive, funny view of the future that seems to be put together on an unlimited budget, along with an all-star cast including Stallone, Snipes, Sandra Bullock, Benjamin Bratt, and Denis Leary, along with Andre Gregory, Jesse Ventura, and Jack Black in small roles. Girls skip it, but if you're male, this is sure as hell worth watching ("AJDaGreat, you are fined one credit...")

5 out of 9 people found the following review useful:
first talkie, first successful talkie, not the first successful talkie, eh, who cares? It's a great movie., 8 August 2002

I saw this movie for its historial value, but I stayed for its greatness. Because, first talkie or not, this is just a great movie. The 6.3 rating baffled me; didn't everyone else like this interesting story about a boy who abandons tradition and his father who disowns him? I can't think of anything not to like about the movie. It's a fabulous movie, and a filmmaking landmark.

I'd like to comment on someone else's comments now. Someone said this movie was very racist and that's why it was successful, saying, "Would this film have still been successful if it was just Jolson as himself and not black-faced? Probably not. That's because people watched it to make themselves feel better about themselves."

I wonder if this commenter actually saw the movie. Jolson is only wearing blackface for about 15 minutes for a performance. The rest of the movie, Jolson IS himself. Jolson never plays an African-American as his character in the movie, he just sings a song as one. Yes, the song is somewhat racist by today's standards, but most of this comment is not valid at all. In fact, I suspect the comment was written solely based on a glance at the video box cover.

Anyway, if you wanna see a historical landmark in film or if you wanna see a fabulous movie (half-talkie, half-silent), go ahead and see "The Jazz Singer."

23 out of 33 people found the following review useful:
a decent movie, but not funny, 28 July 2002

I fear I may be going against the grain here...

"Desperately Seeking Susan" was certainly inventive, original, and oftentimes fun. The acting was actually decent, even from Madonna (whose acting has won her 6 Razzies). However, I think the movie suffers from being labelled a comedy. While a couple lines brought a smile or a chuckle, I rarely laughed throughout this movie. Not that there were jokes that didn't work; I couldn't tell what was even supposed to be funny! The whole situation was amusing, but I wouldn't call it laugh-out-loud funny. Eh, whatever. I'd still recommend it.

Splash (1984)
1 out of 2 people found the following review useful:
I liked it, but something was off, 27 July 2002

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

John Candy is the guy to look for here. His performance is the second-best thing in the movie. The best thing, of course, is the really really really really really beautiful Daryl Hannah. God she's hot. I don't care what you say, internetdrone; Daryl Hannah is absolutely gorgeous.

I enjoyed this movie's clever situations and dialogue, and as I said, Candy and Hannah were great. Hanks was good too. I also liked Fat Jack and the idiots helping Eugene Levy. It was a decent movie, but something felt off. However, I can't explain what I mean by that without spoilers, so if you haven't seen it, know that I would still recommend this funny movie, and stop reading now.


First of all, how can they keep the mermaid under such inhumane conditions like that? Doesn't she have rights? As a half-human half-fish, she should at least have half the rights that humans do (ba-doom-chic). And what about Hanks? It is said that they monitored him naked in the tank for 12 hours! Isn't he an American? Doesn't he have rights? They can't do that to him.

Also, after they take Hannah for experimentation, Hanks is so cold to her. He's so stupid! Doesn't he realize how much fun he was having beforehand? Doesn't he realize how happy he'd be with Hannah? Doesn't he realize that, when Hannah's a mermaid, she's EVEN HOTTER??? I don't see why Hanks should let a little thing like being a different species get in the way of his love for her. Thank you, John Candy, for talking some sense into Hanks.

Finally, I didn't see Eugene Levy's character change. He goes from being this maniacal freak obsessed with proving Hannah's a mermaid to someone who actually has a heart. I didn't see what caused this 180-degree turn in his behavior. Yes, I know he felt sorry for Hannah, but WHY did he feel sorry for her? He never felt that way previously.

Ah, well, the movie doesn't try to answer such questions. It's just a light romantic comedy that's just supposed to be fun. And I admit, I had fun.

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