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The Spectacular Spider-Man

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64 reviews in total 
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Here's an idea, George...., 14 November 2002
6/10

...why don't you edit all the good stuff from Episode I and II together into one movie, call THAT the new Episode I, thus giving you the chance to make up for the mistakes you've made and have two movies to develop the fall of Anakin properly? There is just about enough good stuff in Episodes I and II (the Maul vs Jedi fight, the Pod race, the Zam Wessel chase, the clone army investigation, the Dooku vs Jedi battle) to fill ONE movie, and the less Jar-Jar, the better.

It's true....Star Wars has been spoiled...., 13 July 2002
6/10

The Phantom Menace was mediocre enough, but now the truly weak Attack of the Clones has put the original classic movies in danger - if Lucas is lucky, in twenty years, people will remember the first trilogy but not this tiresome prequel three-some. Attack of the Clones is just a mass of exposition and CGI. Actors are thrown in only when absolutely neccesary. The once great Yoda looses his dignity with in a truly sad lightsaber duel....George, what have you done?

George, what HAVE you done?

Blood Surf (2000) (V)
3 out of 5 people found the following review useful:
Wow, this is BAAAAAAD, 6 July 2002

I have seen very few films as awful as this. It's not even a proper film, it's a woeful attempt at filmaking by people who obviously have no idea what they are doing. The way the giant crocodile is killed at the end is just beyond ridiculous, and filmed in the worst possible way. This film is terrible, and everybody who has seen it, everybody who worked on it, must realise it's terrible. Why was it even made?

0 out of 1 people found the following review useful:
In the light of Lord of the Rings, a BIG mistake, 30 December 2001
7/10

George Lucas should never have made this movie. For a start, it's defaced the series. Second, there was never supposed to be more than three episodes. The 'Episode IV - VI' subtitles were just to add a Flash Gordon serial-sque quality to the movies, and to make the whole thing fell more epic. We were supposed to imagine what happened before, not have it served to us with with mountains of CGI.

And third, we now have Peter Jackson's superb The Fellowship of the Ring, and it's infinetly superior to The Phantom Menace in every respect. It makes a mockery of The Phantom Menace. And it looks very much like the Lord of the Rings trilogy will make a mockery of the Star Wars prequel trilogy as well.

Spawn (1997)
0 out of 1 people found the following review useful:
Unbelievably, disgracefully, embarassingly bad, 12 December 2001
4/10

Listen up. This is why Spawn is a lame film. Not that it was made by bad filmakers, but because it wasn't made by filmakers at all. It was made by people who had no idea how movies work. The director is a special effects man, not a director. So ignore any reviews by teenagers, who the film is blatantly targeted at, and see past the weak and embarassing attempts to appear 'cool' and 'badass'. Spawn is just as bad as Batman & Robin.

2 out of 4 people found the following review useful:
AAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRGHHH!!, 27 October 2001
6/10

Last Action Hero taught Hollywood an important lesson: just because you enjoy laughing at yourselves and having a big back-slapping contest, doesn't mean the audience will enjoy it. This 1993 lame-fest is as self-indulgent as they come...except for Steven Spielberg's appalling Hook, that is. Arnie is presented as the greatest man in the world who we all love, and whoever that kid is is annoying as they come, with his 'I'm so exasperated, no-one understands what's going on but me' attitude. To actually tell you why this film is so bad is very hard to explain - you'd need to understand Film Studies - but it's to do with the self-counciousness of the film. Scream got irony and self-refrence right, Last Action Hero gets it wrong - woefully so. To be honest, Last Action Hero is almost unwatchable.

1 out of 14 people found the following review useful:
Ridiculously lame, 27 October 2001
1/10

An awful cartoon version of the successful 80's comicbook crossover. Eliminating most of the characters and the storyline, this cheap and nasty film was made by throwing together episodes from the mediocre 90's Spidey cartoon. If you really want quality animated superheroics, check out the 90's Batman cartoons.

1 out of 1 people found the following review useful:
Awesome comicbook mayhem, 20 October 2001

The original was fun but sparse. This sequel seems like not so much a follow-up, but the full game the first was a demo of. Eighteen characters in total allow for some awesome comicbook brawls, including Professor X versus Magneto, Gambit versus Rogue, Nightcrawler versus Mystique and, of course, anyone versus Spider-Man - yes, he's in the game! The variety of locations really adds atmosphere to the fights, including the murky, eerie Morlock tunnels, the alien ambience of the moon, bathed in blue light, and the half-destroyed city street that has been hit by the Juggernaut. The road is smashed up, building are demolished and crushed cars are on fire - and you're next, as you have to fight the big guy sooner or later.

The soundtrack is truly brilliant, giving the game an epic, thrilling and even foreboding feel. The graphics are as good as possible, full of cinematic explosions, eye-searing special effects and Matrix-esque slo-mo mid-air violence. And the gameplay is awesome - forget Tekken, this is full-on Street Fighter 2 Turbo mayhem, with projectiles, air-combos and intense special moves. The only thing which stops this comicbook battle simulator a masterpiece is the lack of stuff to destroy and use as weapons - all superhero fights involve mass-property damage. However, that will surely come with Mutant Academy 3, and until then, this is the greatest Marvel game ever. Yes, better than Spider-Man 2: Enter Electro.

1 out of 2 people found the following review useful:
Words cannot describe the sheer awfulness, 7 October 2001
1/10

This is possibly one of the most embarassing movies ever. Take a really, really poor script that for some reason rejects the most obvious approach - an Enter the Dragon/Bloodsport/Kickboxer martial arts tournament - and goes for a ridiculous special forces operation against evil dictator Bison. The large crew of comicbook-like characters could logically turn up for a martial arts tournament (that's what the game is about), but that they all happen to turn up in Thailand at the same time instead is absolutely ludicrous.

Just as silly is the film's attempt to recreate the characters from the video game onscreen. John Claude Van Damme would have been an acceptable Guile had he been a supporting character that didn't say much, just kicked ass, but as the lead....he sucks. The guys supposed to be Ryu and Ken are hilariously wrong for the part, as is the wrestler-type guy supposed to be the male model like, acrobatic Vega. And why is Kylie Minogue Cammy? The only casting that is in anyway accurate to the game is Raul Julia as Bison, and he gives the only decent performance, an amusingly tongue-in-cheek explosion of evil. Thankfully the urban myth that this was his last film isn't true.

Then there are the terrible attempts to recreate the moves from the game. Watch 'Ken' do what's supposed to be a Dragon Punch on 'Sagat' and laugh - that's what we kids used to do in the school yard in 1991! The other moves are just as laughable. The entire film is shot in a bright, cartoon-esque way that makes it even more ridiculous, and the costumes and make-up are cheap and tacky.

To put it as bluntly as possible, Street Fighter is terrible.

A Wonderful film, 9 September 2001
10/10

The Shawshank Redemption is a beautiful film. The last fifteen minutes are so wonderful it made me cry - and the only other film that has made me cry is the climax of The Truman Show. This is a film that makes you see life in a completely different way - a hopeful way. Don't watch some shallow nonsense like Mission Impossible II, watch a film that you'll remember your entire life. Watch The Shawshank Redemption. It's got 9 out of 10 for a reason, you know.


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