Change Your Image
Upload An Image
Crop And Save
My Uncle the Alien (1996)
It is really quite good
My review summary says it all. This movie is really very good.
The only thing that would make it better would be if Chris Eliot played some of the roles. Also, they should have re-animated Scatman Cruthers to have a cameo in it. Its also interesting that Roman Polanski has a small (uncredited) part in the movie, toward the end when the alien spaceship lands on the White House. It's surprising that he didn't get arrested, as there had been an outstanding warrant for him since the 70's. I guess that's why he was uncredited. Or maybe they just shot the scene in Europe. It would be interesting to find out either way. Its so funny because it's true! Everyone should go out and see "My Uncle the Alien" today!
The Monkey Mission (1981)
my funky vision of the monkey mission!
I love this movie! This is one of the best of all the monkey/buddy movies and TV shows that proliferated around the turn of the 80's. These include "BJ and the Bear", "Every Which Way but Loose" and its vastly superiour sequel "Every Which Way you Can" (for which Eastwood was robbed of his Best Actor Award by Robert Bulloney's Raging DeNiro), "Goin' Ape", "Goin' Bananas" and "On Golden Pond." Most of the scenes of Gregor were filmed using Coco, the veteran chimanzee actor, who of course stole the show. HOwever some of the more complicated stunts were actually performed by a little known stunt double named Jan Medlock, playing Gregor in a ape costume. This is particularly evident in the tightrope scene, where Gregor and Mr. Carlton do the little dance and shakes their butts all over the place. Its so funny because its true! I think everyone should go out and buy a copy of the monkey mission today!
Howards End (1992)
howard's rear end!
I loved this movie! I swear, I laffed my pants fell off - literally! The best part is when all the English people are playing tennis, and then anthony hopkins comes out wearing a gorilla suit, eating bananas and everything! I never laffed so hard in my life! No wonder they called it howard's end! On a serious note, Siegbert Prawer gave a touching performance as "man asking a question" - a ro^le he has wisely chosen not to repeat. If you want a good time, I suggest you go out, put on your own gorilla suit, and kick back with the good ol' boys of Howard's Rear End! You might even want to eat a banana with it, especially if you mash it up with your fist and then smear it on a frisbee or a mobius strip club.
Humanoids from the Deep (1980)
Inverse scattering for CHUDs!
Three hands down, Humanoids from the Deep (H.f.t.D.)is one of the greatest interspecies copulating movies of all time. Believe me, I ought to know! Back when I was in grad school I did some research about inverse scattering to solve the Helmholtz equation. A lot of people don't know it, but you can actually use my results in the detection of subterranean C.H.U.D.s. Now I know what you're thinking -- a C.H.U.D. is a C.H.U.D. and a H.f.t.D. is a H.f.t.D., right? But tell me this -- next time you're roller skiing down the street and you see a guy with a ventriloquist dummy get his head ripped off in a tent just because he was about to get it on with his hot girlfriend on the beach, and then you find out she was impregnated by the otherworldly beast, are you going to pick nits? or just pick your nose and put it in the booger box? I rest my case. My point is this -- C.H.U.D.s, Humnanoids from the Deep -- who cares what you call them -- if you see their scattering support on the beach you'd best hightail your compact balls out of there. Pronto! The other thing that would have made this movie better would be if there was a guy with a gorilla suit in it. They wouldn't even need to hire another guy, they could just let Doug McClure do it. Heck, I could do it myself. It wouldn't be the first time. Once I was wearing my gorilla suit, drinking a nice glass of Barollo, watching Humanoids from the Deep and thats when I got the idea of using the whole inverse scattering thing for subterranean C.H.U.D. detection. THen I thought naah, I gotta do laundry and buy milk and stuff. It's so funny because it's true! So here's my advice: if you love someone, set them free. Then go out and watch Humanoids from the Deep!
The Fly (1986)
The best part of this movie was when the apple i-pod (or should I say "fly-pod"!) guy threw up on the donut and then ate it anyway. Its so funny because its true! It reminded me of the time that I chewed up a bunch of oreos and didn't swallow them and then drooled them out of my mouth onto the floor and my dog molly ran over and ate them up. My sister was really grossed out, but at least I didn't throw up (or should I say "toss my cookies" ) on them and then eat them! At least I didn't bite her head off! At least I didn't grow giant fly hair out my back, at least not yet, and then get caught in a big spider web and yell "help me! help me!" while my brother Vincent price picked up a big rock and smashed me. And I certainly never married the US President of a dramedy made some 20 years later. No way! By the way, if you eat a chips ahoy cookie with a piece of cheddar cheese on it, it tastes like an orange. But that's a whole other story. I think every one should go out and watch The Fly today. THen nothing will ever bug you again!
The Princess & the Marine (2001)
fall in love ... all over again!
Like most women in their mid-20s (I just turned 25 this week),I obviously try to see everything I can with Zac Morris, ever since he hit the scene back in 1987 with Good Morning Miss Bliss, so the Princess and the Marine was no exception. But what I wasn't prepared for was the depth of his portrayal. I mean, I knew he was H-O-T-T (he's so fine I needed an extra T!), but I didn't realize that he could so convincingly play the part of a US Marine stationed in an small Arab country who falls in love with a princess whom he meets in a shopping mall and subsequently spirits out of the country while she is dressed as a marine (albeit a short one, but she did wear a baseball cap after all). The best part of all of it though is how romantic the whole story is! Its just like that time when I was the applied math department graduate student representative (albeit a short one, and I don't really wear baseball caps that much) and I fell in love with one of the students who complained to me about the use of inappropriate humour and coarse language by other students in the computer lab (I mean, except for the fact that he hasn't spirited me out of the country - YET! a girl can dream can't she?!!) It's so romantic because its true! Anyway, my point is that sometimes made-for-TV romance movies reflect what actually happens in real life, even when they're based on actual real-life events. Its kind of like life imitating art imitating life, except that in the first place the life was about a marine and a princess, and the art isn't really art so much as it is a kind of lousy made for TV movie starring Zack Morris, and the life which imitates the whole thing is about a grad student who doesn't like funny books being put on his desk, and not about a marine at all. But I will always be his princess! I digress. The real point is this - The Princess and the Marine is one of the best movies out there about True Love, and whether you're a marine or a marine biologist, or just a founding member of the like really club, it will make you fall in love all over again. It did for me!
shake your groove thang!
This is one of most realistic of all the country music/bank-robber movies made in the 70s. I ought to know, because back when I lived in Georgia (just like Burt Reynolds!) I used to ride around in a van with a band called A**factor 4. We never held up any banks of course, but their name was aptly chosen. It's so stinky because its true! Surprisingly enough, a lot of the hi-jinx that The Dixie Dancekings got into because of WW, like robbing banks and hanging out with Ned Beatty are a lot like what we used to do too, like wearing overalls without any shirt or shoes. I'm pretty sure I never even owned a pair of shoes until I was 18! Anyway, once I saw one of the stars of WW and The Dixie Dance kings on a talk show, and I was in the audience at the taping! It was Ned Beatty and it was at a filming for the Ross somebody show. The next day Adam West was on! But that's of different story. What I like so much about W.W. and the Dixie Danckings (WWatDDK) is the way WW and Wayne get along on screen. Burt Reynolds and Jerry Reed have such a natural chemistry that you can tell that the two men really love each other in real life (but maybe not REEL life!). That's why it was so hard to watch Burt smash Jerry's head in the dumpster when they were playing Gator McClusky and Bammy McCaul in the following years classic Georgia film, Gator. And I think it must have been even harder for them, but especially Jerry, because it was his head that was getting smashed all the time. But this movie has no such dumpster-head-smashing, thank goodness. Just good old boy fun like I used to have back in Georgia, wearing a straw hat, smoking a corncob pipe and riding around in a smelly van with A**factor 4. They smell like an A** Factory! I think you should go out and watch WWatDDK tonight.
Hooper - it sooper-dooper!
But seriously, this is one of the best movies ever made about stunt-men. I ought to know - I used to be one! My favorite thing about this movie is that it has my two favourite actors of all time - Burt Reynolds (my idol), and Jan Michael Vincent. A lot of people think I was named after him. Its so funny because its true! JMV does a butt kickin job playing Hooper's arch enemy, Ski CHinsky. And the actor selected to portray Jimbo was optimally selected! THe best part was when the teenaged nerd changed the clapper in his dad's house to one clap instead of two. Its so funny because its true! I think everyone should be a trooper, and watch Hooper! (it ain't no pooper)
Gator Rides Again!
I tell you, I've seen a lot of movies in my day, and none of them holds up as well over the years as Gator. Sure, you might say I'm biased since I was the president of the Burt Reynolds fan club high school AND the treasurer of the Jerry Reed Fan Club. But still, you can't deny it - Reynolds kicks A**! But anyway, back to the movie... So it was back in the day when I used to play college basketball in Georgia. The whole team used to go to class in our sweaty gym clothes, if we ever went to class - but that's another story! The part where Gator sticks Bammy McCaul's head in the dumpster is great! And Lauren Hutton was so HOT! Anyway, we were all at one guy's house after a big game, drinking non-alcoholic beer, and we popped in my favorite movie of all time (no, not Stroker Ace) that's right GATOR! Anyway, we just started watching it, and I remember this one guy named steve who always wore a skirt for some reason was complaining about something to do with a translation of Camus, but anyway, we're watching the movie and the pizza guy comes to the door - and who's standing there with a pizza in his hand? Why BURT REYNOLDS! Now I knew he was from Georgia, just like me, but what I didn't know was what a big fan he was of the team! Well, I was floored, I tell you. SO we invited him in, and we all sat around drinking non-alcoholic beer, and he told us all about his favorite parts of making Gator, especially when he stuck Bammy McCaull in the dumpster. Its so funny because its true! Anyway, after the movie one of my teammates found a spare sweaty team uniform and gave it to Burt. It was one of the best times of my life, and that's why I will always love GATOR!
This movie will blow your mind!
Please excuse my excessive fawning, but I would nominate "Zapped" for Movie of the Year, if I weren't nearly 20 years too late. Like thousands of American men, I first got hipped to the one-two comedy punch of Aames and Baio back in college when I briefly experimented with reruns of the hit comedy programme "Charles in Charge." I had heard about it when it during its prime-time run in the 1980's, but I was too square to check it out at the time. After the first episode "CiC" (which, by the way, was set in MY college town of New Brunswick, NJ!), I was hooked - and it's a habit that always needs a little more each time.
Fortunately, "Zapped" delivers! I swear, you can watch this movie over and over and over, and you'll always catch something that you missed before. Like when Chachi and Lembeck use their psychic powers to get the girls. It's so funny because it's true! I worked on a similar project when I was in college, but the best that I could do was create a dream woman out of newspaper clippings (just kidding!!!). Also, Scatman Crothers gives the performance of his lifetime as Dexter Jones, remeniscent of his earlier portrayal of Dewey Stevens on "The Harlem Globetrotters on Gilligan's Island" of the year before. I think everyone should go out and rent - no, make that BUY -a copy of "Zapped" today - trust me, your life will never be the same!