Reviews written by registered user
|19 reviews in total|
A wistful little fantasy where some wrinkled old momma and papa use a magical soap to turn themselves into perfect young teensyboppers to live such giddy fun-filled high school lives just like their kids they envy so much. As if being a teen makes you superior to the rest of the whole humanity or that teens is the only time you can be such a wonderful person and enjoy your life to the fullest. Sheesh. Too bad the kids watching this Disney movie wouldn't have any magic to save them from the horrid inevitability of turning into their own wrinkled old parents!
A blonde girl who is supposed to be nerdy and average (but she's still such a gorgeous babe-o-rama as are any old teen featured on the Zoog Disney channel) changes places with a blonde superstar who lives a fabulous rich-girl life and get into all sorts of scrapes like asking for a wrong dish of breakfast, having to model half-naked for the camera, and running into boyfriend woes. And both girls seem to lead such rich, fulfilling lives full of trendy clothes, handsome boys, bratty little brothers, catty rivals, and flashy dates. How Disney. And how Barbie, too.
*** This review may contain spoilers ***
(WARNING!!! MAY CONTAIN SOME SPOILERS???)
From a few vague rumors about some dinosaur place to a upcoming preview about some big summer movie TO THE MOST OVERHYPED, EYE-POPPING STIMULATION RIDE OF THE WHOLE MILLENNIUM!!!!! So that's how the fabulous land of Jurassic Park evolved in about a year.
Aside from the usual giddy Spielbergesque fantasy of evil creatures suddenly coming alive to make raw hamburger out of the gullible (but deserving) humans, this movie seems to carry the scolding message of a very stern, conservative-thinking scientist and a Bible-thumping naysayer: No Human Mortal Shall Play God Or Monkey Around With His Biological Layout...Or He Shall GET IT!!! And boy, did they really got it! Including all the innocent witnesses and bystanders who just happened to be about in the very wrong place at the wrong time, of course.
It all begun when an eccentric, aging millionaire decided to set up the most stunning and improbable dinosaur paradise ever to be created right here on the real-life face of Earth and invite along a couple of skeptical paleontologists and his spoiled-rotten grandkids to see it. It would've probably been a very blissful, if not dull day right here in good ol' Dinotopia if it wasn't for some morbidly obese computer geek who had so stupidly picked the WRONG TIME to spoil everyone's happy picnic with the big lizards!
Luckily...with some brawn, some brains, and LOTS of really dizzying circus stunts, Alan Grant, the brooding square-jawed Hero Of The Story with a crawling repulsion for germy little rugrats and his ditzy but brainy love-interest, the blonde Ellen Salter (who seems a bit too bimbo-ish to be a REAL paleobotanist) finally saved the day! But not without PLENTY of all those frenzied hide-and-seek games as well as some pretty impossible gymnastic (and even acrobatic to boot) tricks the two stray little waifs - Tim, the underaged daredevil and Lex, the blonde-plaited "Lolita" - were forced to perform amongst all those really wild carnivores on the loose!
But no, maybe those two human prepubescents were touched by the good fairies at their birth or something...nothing bad really happened at all NO MATTER HOW VIOLENTLY a kid was hurled into a certain situation like being trapped in a falling vehicle or suddenly dropping out of a ceiling only to catch herself from landing into the very jaws of some waiting 'raptor! But...like I said, a fantasy is A FANTASY! So just shaddup and sit back to ENJOY it despite all those very obvious loopholes!
And one more thing...those mysterious smiles the hero and the heroine were silently sharing as they lovingly glanced down at their sleeping little wards at the very ending where everyone all flew off into the pretty sunset to live happily ever after...seem to say that perhaps it's better just to concentrate on breeding THEIR OWN SPECIES rather than try to revive a few long-dead beasties from some unknown time...even for the HECK of it!
*** This review may contain spoilers ***
Though I haven't ever seen the older version, I chanced upon this show once and I got pretty hooked because I really like fantasy-based stories and I also liked some pretty cool special effects as well as some really pretty shots of the faroff paradise and a little goofy humor on the side. Yeah...it was really interesting for awhile before I begin getting TURNED OFF COMPLETELY by Mr. Roarke's very suffocating arrogance and his cruel enjoyment of his cat-and-mouse games with all his hapless guests who happened to be vacationing on his magical island. And what's more, he didn't seem to change his facial expressions much, which only adds to his conceited coldness. Not to mention his very catty lady sidekick, Ariel who also seemed to share his sadistic pleasure in manipulating all his unwitting victims as well as a couple of really repulsive, toad-like bellhops who would bumble along, all too eager to fall into Mr. Roarke's traps usually set for the poor, unhappy guests. To top it all off, I was so disgusted by the very last episode I ever watched on this show that I never saw it ever again: after some young tramp confessed to stealing her geeky boyfriend's fancy car, they began writhing about on the luxurious bed as if to "make a baby", promising each other that the fatso would put his beautiful car away for the future kid, whether he be a real nerd just like his dad or a bodacious bimbo just like Mommy. Yuck. Just wait until the aging parents watch guiltily as their offspring begin acting out the very drama they had just been through in the first place!
I don't like sappy, soggy lovey-dovey pro-family flicks, that's all. That's not the very end of the whole world, okay? I'm quite entitled to my own personal opinions, thanks very much. I don't think I have any real problems at all. No, wait...my real problems are all those smart-alecks who make leery suggestions that I see a professional. Okay, now I can off the soapbox, thank you.
But first, let's hear one of those taunting kiddie songs:
Peter Pan and Wendy's girl sitting in a tree
First, comes love and then marriage.
Now Wendy's girl is spilling such preciousy offspring
To parade around in a fancy baby carriage.
So as a family man, Peter Pan is now gray and aaaaaging!
Too bad Peter Pan's family still suffers from dysfunctional problems typical of any old family in the 1990s. Poor, poor needy little kids crying for their workaholic dad, who's simply too busy with his lawyer duties and keeping a death grip on his cell phone to pay much attention to his wifey 'n' kiddies. Yet this doesn't stop him from taking his clan out to England to visit Granny Wendy and placing the tots in such elegant nursery rooms where the old lady herself once send her Victorian childhood with her brothers. Whoops...look what happened! The kids are GONE!!! KIDNAPPED!!! MURDER!!! FIRE!!! Peter Pan's old nemesis, Capt'n Hook himself had somehow escaped the crocodile's jaws and had vowed revenge after stuffing and displaying the unfortunate beast's body in public. So lo and behold! It's time for Peter Pan to revive his very own boyhood legends so he can get his small fries back...only if he can get his old noggin out of this dense fog that had made him so middle-aged as well as preventing him from realizing his very own past - fantastic or otherwise. But first, he had to impress the Lost Boys - the very tribe he had once led AND his very own sweet-faced brats he had came so far to rescue from the mean-spirited clutches of the aging pirate captain. So let's go for a quick dip in The Fountain of Youth, boys!!!
Though this sparkling little Spielberg gem may has some pretty sticky moments (the misty flashback of the boyish Peter Pan mashing lips with the young girl that had obviously resulted in such juicy babies), it nevertheless carries such a MARVELOUS wealth of whimsical eye candy, swashbuckling adventures, dreamy flights of fantasy, child-like wisdom, and really funny sight gags as well as a truly ASTONISHING range of imagination that had made just about everything possible, including such a stunning scene of THREE moons in the Neverneverland sky that really made me gasp inward! And it's also refreshing to see a grown man just enjoying himself like a kid once again (ironically, THAT'S a natural knack to ENJOY LIFE ITSELF that we have all so unfortunately lost once we reach our seething and fuming puberty!) Oh, one more thing...I think it's really cute to see our own Julie Roberts fluttering about in a fairy garb!:)
I happen to be an aspiring cartoonist and I've submitted my work to several different newspaper syndicates and I've been rejected many times. But what I know from my personal experience is that cartooning just ISN'T a very cushy job and that it WOULD require LOTS AND LOTS of HARD WORK AS WELL AS STRICTLY DEVOUT ATTENTION!!! Not to mention all those deadlines that you would have to race against every time! So what's wrong with this little TV show here??? I don't see Caroline bent over her drawing board, hard at work, nervously drinking mug after mug of strong coffee to stay awake and fretting over every little detail and dialogue that she would make her characters emit, and so on forth. All those little things that we cartoonists usually face. Not to mention the fact all those shoddy drawings that Caroline seems to "borrow" are really nothing to sneeze at. Instead, we see Caroline dressing up, gossiping, drinking, flirting, going out on the night with her friends, going on fun vacations, aching her well-maintained body like a lovesick kitty over the graying Richard, anything at all that isn't anywhere near her very neat, obviously unused drawing board and art equipment. Sheesh...still another snobbish TV fairy-tale all about glamorous single people who live among the dazzling city lights.
A very FAST-PACED sci-fi cartoon featuring our very funny, lovable robots who can arrange themselves into a gigantic robot just like the one in "Voltron" to battle the evil forces! First, there's this big, fat robot who likes to eat alot that becomes the "body", then the two very spunky female robots who go as the "arms", and finally, the two fun-loving brothers to be turned into "legs". Now, along comes the head (uh, if I remember correctly), which is actually a flying spacecraft piloted by the young human scientist and the cutest little robot girl you'd ever see with a few clever tricks of her very own up her metal sleeve! Simply MARVELOUS, color-splashed animation that looks very Japanese both in character and action as well as such good-natured humor and very zany whimsicality at every turn! Oh, how you'd gasp in such amazement during the very rapid sequence where each flying robot instantly transforms himself or herself into massive body parts to be attached to each other before the big heroic acts! And the very perception of the whole cartoon is always turning and moving so much you'd feel like you're turning and twisting in an anti-gravity room! A very unique and entertaining fantasy experience with cartoon robots, indeed!
Ugh, how precious! How can the whole world go on without you??? Oh, how we all need and depend on you! How we all love each other and how we all love you and how you love all of us and how I love you and how you love me! Oh, the world needs you and it can't live without you! How women need you to give them such precious, happy children and how children need you to give them such a precious, happy existence! I need you, you need me, we need each other, we can't live without each other! The world needs you, the universe needs you, even angels need you! Needy, needy, needy! Oh, and be sure to be WHITE and that everyone else around you are WHITE, too - thanks.
It really boggles the mind to know that some little-known tabloid
would SKYROCKET to the very ranks of geniuses and superstars with his very
creation of a little cartoon family so immortally dubbed "THE SIMPSONS" as
well as striking cool millions, winning several awards, AND breaking a few
Guinness World Records (for the LONGEST running TV show, animated or
live-action) to boot!
Taking place in a charming little small-town fantasy world otherwise known as "Springfield", the weekly adventures centers around Homer Simpson, the bumbling family man as well as the FUNNIEST buffoon ever to waddle across the TV screen; Marge Simpson, the loving but nagging eccentric wife with her famous blue beehive; Bart Simpson, the mischievous young prankster with a heart of gold; Lisa Simpson, the saxophone-playing "brains" of the whole family (she's my most favorite Simpson character because I used to be a "gifted" kid just like her); and Maggie Simpson, the little mute toddler with her eternal red pacifier. Sharing the whole stage is a huge, possibly record-breaking cast of all those yellow-skinned citizens, each with his or her very own distinctive background and personality (aaalllll the way from the very shady, womanizing Mayor Quimby down to the scowling little One-Eyebrowed Baby - along with a few really exotic characters tossed in like the Scottish school janitor and the cashier clerk from India) as well as the incredibly wide, most baffling gallery of celebrity caricatures (with their very OWN voices, to boot) ever to parade through our most favorite little make-believe town! And the whole populace continues to GROW! But that's not all...you get a very rich array of humor, satire, witticism, sight gags, slapstick, cultural references, songs, history, politics, religion, fantasy, science-fiction, romance, nostalgia, horror, cartoon-type violence, even some risque stuff...whatever you name, you've GOT it! In fact, this nifty little show's got just about EVERYTHING FOR EVERYONE - even some really cool 3-D computer animation in a Halloween special! And...the beauty of this show is that you THINK you're watching a NEW episode when it's ACTUALLY A RERUN from some years ago! Unfortunately, even then it won't always be 100% PERFECT, nor would everyone alive agree with it 100% of the time. For instance, it has a little sexist attitudes at times, like Homer and Bart both going off on big adventures (especially the part with the truck-driving and the big trip to a football game) while Marge and Lisa are left behind to sit at home. But nevertheless...this show is so damned cool I now religiously watch it EVERY SUNDAY NIGHT - whether it's closed-captioned or not!
I'm afraid I have to disagree with some reviewers who think "The Simpsons" are going down the drain in those recent years. On the contrary, I think the show is as great as ever, aside from a few sexist stuff - and in fact, it seems to be getting better and better! Hey, how I would PROTEST if it ever GOES OFF THE AIR!!! And...I want it to last a few DECADES LONGER...LONGER than the WHOLE era of Looney Tunes, if need be!:)
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