Reviews written by registered user
videoport

6 reviews in total 
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Tideland (2005)
2 out of 3 people found the following review useful:
Not what it appears., 22 February 2008
9/10

Terry Gilliam is a rich man. Therefore, I must say I'm glad he's creating art that scares, intimidates and fools audiences today.

As with the Fisher King, Terry explores a love lost and the connections we all make during the process. Everything in this classic is an illusion and not what it appears! I found this piece touching and I suggest you bring the hankies. If you plan to take in this movie at face value, you might as well not watch it. Seriously.

Explore the sadness within and appreciate what you have. Wonderful, honest acting. Dark humor. Having two daughters, this movie just broke my heart. I loved it.

Thank you Terry Gilliam. Thank you, thank you.

20 out of 30 people found the following review useful:
zombie fan film, 24 October 2006
5/10

Technically it looks like a million, well at least $750M Cast, FX, Script are strictly fan film quality. For hard core zombie fans only, some great ideas here, don't be too picky and you might enjoy. Too bad really, a bit more self discipline and this baby could have actually been worth a million or two. If these folks are lucky enough to have the dough to try again one hopes they will spend a lot more time planning, casting, setting up stunts, finding more talented FX, and really going for an all out bang up script. If you got the money, have the patience to spend it well. Loved the way zombies moved at varying speeds, depending on the freshness of the corpse, loved the bounty hunter concept, the bounty hunters on bikes could have been stepped up to Mad Max levels of energy, the Western flavor and the gun play was super cool, see "Down In The Valley" for some real fine and fun gun play ideas.

Tempo (2003)
8 out of 16 people found the following review useful:
Horrible Waste Of Money And Talent, 3 August 2003
1/10

I used to love Melanie Griffith. She was so sexy and lovable in "Fear City", "Body Double", and "Something Wild", yes even in the rotten "Cherry 2000" I still loved her. In Tempo I lost my love, to the knife! Tempo shows the waste of money that is plastic surgery all over Melanie's face. A horrible waste of money and the ruin of a beautiful talent. Disgusting!

So is this movie. All that eurotrash money can buy is a deeply flawed script with mediocre performances by many involved. Rachel Lee Cook is as good as she could be given the circumstance of her character. She plays an American student on sabbatical in Paris who, although she does not speak French, is hired by and then immediately given the keys and codes to a jewelry store to satisfy the plot! When the store is robbed the Parisian police open fire on the thieves during a car chase inside the city. Besides the fact that they have not established the car contains thieves or criminals I doubt any modern Western police force would use guns in the situation exposed. The rest on the script is filled with many other unbelievable occurrences, all while expecting the viewer to take it seriously! Looks big budget but never opened theatrically in the US. The DVD release was announced for Summer 2003 but has now been delayed indefinitely, lucky for you! I wonder if Ms. Griffith's surgeons are bidding to keep it off the market? It certainly does not show their work in the best light.

As an alternative I would suggest a fun and light film that knows what it is- all fun! "The Guru" is now on DVD in case you missed it in the theaters!

DarkWolf (2003) (V)
1 out of 1 people found the following review useful:
Poorly made werewolf cheapie., 11 April 2003
1/10

This is a very cheaply made werewolf flick. The video is dark and poorly lit. The audio is uneven and poorly recorded and mixed. The script is cliche ridden junk with the usual characters like the tough detective who shoots werewolves with his silver handgun! [filled of course with silver bullets]. The acting is as wooden as the characters. The FX are non-existent,lots of extreme close-ups of werewolf jaws and biting. the only thing that is shown is lots of soft-core T&A. Instead of dropping $30 for this tripe check out a really great recent werewolf pic: "Dog Soldiers" with Sean Pertwee.

Rangers (2000) (V)
0 out of 1 people found the following review useful:
ranger-jump fu, bad arab fu, bus fu!, 29 March 2001
1/10

This supposed action pic should be marketed as a comedy. Of errors that is. Wooden acting, a ridiculous plot, and numerous continuity errors could be over looked if you watch this as a laff packed action fest. Right from the get go you know your in la la land when the rangers jump out of a Hercules transport at dawn somewhere over the mideast, but then after a water landing they surface in the dark! The continuity errors continue throuout the pic, costumes and make up change multiple times within scenes. But ya know what, it does'nt matter! The script is even more ludicrous. After the Rangers capture a terrorist and bring him to the USA the bad guys do a night landing of several hundred baddies on a FL beach using WW2 landing craft! Yuh Right!

All this does'nt matter if you view this as a 6 pack comedy! You get paratrooper fu! Our favorite 90's [and new millennium!] bad guys, the typical Hollywood Arab idiots, and best of all, a duelling bus-fu chase to top it all off! I love bus chases... esp. when trains are involved!

3 out of 4 people found the following review useful:
An Erotic Journey Of Desire... NOT!, 13 June 2000
1/10

This film has been repackaged as an erotic picture [retitled Kiss Of Fire] with a very racy cover that implies one will get more than a brief exposure to Miss Applegate's talents. Well forget it. This is an idiotic "drama" with no point, little plot, and amateurish camera work. Disney has added the tagline "An Erotic Journey Of Desire!" to a movie that is really just a crappy chick-flick!