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silentgpaleo

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55 reviews in total 
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6 out of 7 people found the following review useful:
lesbian spies, a mad scientist make for 60's Euro-sleaze, 29 January 2001

When one of the first scene of a film contains the line, "Well, let me tell you the story about what happened," you know that you're in for a classic. This is that kind of classic. KISS ME MONSTER is a short, sometimes dull, and always sleazy film that makes you wish there were still drive-ins. How else could this have made it into theaters, except for maybe a few grindhouses.

KISS ME MONSTER is a hodge-podge of cliches, lots of red herrings, and a plot that is practically indescribable. In fact, I'm not sure if there really is a plot, just a series of scenes that are excuses to show the two female leads in different stages of undress. The dialogue is ridiculous (to be fair, this may be the fault of the below-par dubbing), and the characters are mostly unlikable.

But, in its own cynical yet silly way, the film has its charms. The blonde lead is very attractive, and she gives karate-chops, too. Plus, Jesus Franco, as cheap a director as he is, usually accomplishes come good photography. Plus, some of the jazz on the soundtrack is pretty good.

I liked KISS ME MONSTER, but for all the wrong reasons. I laughed out-loud so many times, I kept wondering if it was supposed to be funny. Alas, I don't think so. If anyone can explain how the plot leads to the island with the mad scientist, please let me know. Because I was scratching my head the whole time...

5 out of 5 people found the following review useful:
an exploitation film smorgasborg, 9 July 2000

DRIVE-IN MADNESS is two things: a documentary, and a collection of old trailers for exploitation films. There are ads for Independent International pictures (NURSE SHERRI, BLAZZING STEWARDESSESS), and other assorted odd-ball fare(THE NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD, MASOULEUM). There are also interviews with scream queens (Bobbie Breesse and Linnea Quigley) and filmmakers(George Romero, Sam Sherman, Joh Russo). There is a fairly long piece on NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD, and what the makers of that film have done since.

My favorite part of this docu-paste-up was when George Romero talks about the state of films today. Romero says he feels that films are much more disposable nowadays(because of video), and it makes it harder for people trying to make something unique. Tom Savini, next to him, agreed, and so do I. Alot of films are very genre-based currently, and you very rarely find a renegade director like Romero anymore. (Incidentally, I think DAWN OF THE DEAD is a classic.)

DRIVE-IN MADNESS is a cheaply made, shoddily edited affair, but it is well-worth seeing for film buffs. The narrator (POLTERGEIST star James Karen) has a perfectly pleasant voice, and he obviously has respect for his subject.

If anyone can grab a copy of BLAZZING STEWARDESSESS, let me know, because that one looks like a hoot.

cheap ABYSS rip-off, 6 July 2000

In the future, the government has established colonies on the bottom of the ocean to contend with the threats of global warming. Priscilla Barnes plays a scientist who becomes dazzled by what discoveries she makes living underwater.

This is dull, dull, dull. There is no action, no violence or nudity, and Roger Corman has a cameo. The special effects are passable, but some of this stuff is lifted from past Corman flicks, which ads to the cheapness. Mostly, the characters just talk a lot, and argue.

This is no way to spend 79 minutes, unless you like looking in at fake aquariums.

9 out of 13 people found the following review useful:
a retread of a drive-in mainstay, 1 July 2000

BIG BAD MAMA, the original, was essentially a remake of BLOODY MAMA, without Shelley Winters. Angie Dickenson played a mama out for money and revenge, and there was plenty of violence and nudity to satisfy the fans of BLOODY MAMA. However, since BLOODY MAMA is basically a rip-off of BONNIE AND CLYDE, BIG BAD MAMA can't help but to seem familiar.

BIG BAD MAMA II(which is more of an afterthought) is a very watered-down retread. The source material was over ten years old when they made this one, and the story lacks any surprises. In fact, besides the fairly solid cast(Dickenson, Robert Culp), the main attraction of BB MAMA II is in seeing TV star Danielle Brisebois in the buff. BIG BAD MAMA II recalls some past successes, but as it stands, it's no big bad deal. The Depression-era cars, sets, and costumes are all in place, but not much else.

4 out of 5 people found the following review useful:
cheap cash-in on HUNT FOR RED OCTOBER, 1 July 2000

Before Micheal Moriarty was on LAW AND ORDER, he was hitting the skids in cheap-jack action fare such as this. A supposed political thriller with renegade Cubans(or was it Panamanians, what the difference), toy subs in a bathtub masquerading as special effects, and a stiff script.

Moriarty must be thanking his lucky stars that he doesn't have to get his paychecks from flicks like this.

And Carl Franklin...What an auspicious beginning for a career that includes the solid ONE FALSE MOVE.

Renting FULL FATHOM FIVE is a false move.

1 out of 7 people found the following review useful:
Sequel doesn't follow original's standards, 29 June 2000

HOLLYWOOD BLVD. II is not all that special. There is the plot of the Hollywood starlet trying to make it in low-budget filmmaking. There is the psycho on the loose. There is Eddie Deezen, and Ginger Lynn Allen is a semi-legit roll. There's action scenes lifted from Filipino action flicks.

This is slow-moving time-filler, and I felt hungry afterwards. Not a fulfilling event, by any means.

4 out of 11 people found the following review useful:
Silly sequel to a silly original, 29 June 2000

WATCHERS 2 is a pretty lame sequel. The first cheap WATCHERS was mostly watchable, but this is garbage. The creature is from THE TERROR WITHIN, and the cast includes Marc Singer.

Avoid this rank imitation of Dean Koontz's original novel.

8 out of 11 people found the following review useful:
unwarranted sequel, has its moments, 29 June 2000

Angie Dickenson is back, and this time she's old. She does look good in a bubblebath, though, and her daughters have a skinny-dip.

This sequel to a film that ripped-off one film(BLOODY MAMA), which in turn was a rip-off of another flick(BONNIE AND CLYDE).

Needless to say, BIG BAD MAMA II is a watered-down affair. And Robert Culp looks embarrassed. It's a time-killer, with the emphasis on "kill".

7 out of 10 people found the following review useful:
cheap sexploitation at its finest, 22 June 2000

IN THE HEAT OF PASSION is one rare erotic thriller that achieves what it sets out to do, with the help of a gracefully aged Sally Kirkland(imagine Shannon Tweed in five years). Kirkland plays a busty Kirkland plays your typical bored, rich housewife who has dangerous sex with many young men.

There are a few twists to the plot, so I won't give away much, except that there is plenty of sex and kinkiness to keep you entertained until the end. Some of the scenes are kind of limp, but the decent production values, and Kirkland's performance, elevate this direct-to-video sleaze to the top of the lot.

If you are a jaded erotic thriller fan, this is for you.

8 out of 10 people found the following review useful:
the story is old, but the effects are shockingly grotesque, 21 June 2000

Every once in a while, Roger Corman produces something that, within its genre, is worth seeing. Enter THE TERROR WITHIN, one of the better ALIEN rip-offs that Corman has made(next ot GALAXY OF TERROR, of course).

The story is old, and to discuss it would just waste space, and not surprise anyone. What is surprising is the excessive amount of gore. There are neat creatures, buckets of blood, and tons of entrails. This is wholesale gore, and there is a little bit(very little) suspense as well.

For a post-apocalyptic slant on ALIEN, this one isn't bad.


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