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Fifty Shades of Grey (2015)
Nicely packaged nonsense, boring, insult to moviegoers
My quick rating - 4.0/10. Not gonna review,the movie is very boring. Steamy sex scenes? Nope. Acting you drawing you into a romance? Nope. A plot that wasn't a cookie cutter romance of the geeky girl gets the hot guy? Naw, that is exactly what it was. Redeeming quality? Even though it wasn't supposed to be a comedy, at times it didn't mean to be,it WAS actually funny. Didn't read the books but even those that did say this movie was just plain bad and did no justice, those that didn't read the book seem to flow the herd and follow the sheep into the field of fans saying the movie was good and NOW want to read the book. Kinda funny since those who read the book disliked the movie and those that liked the movie NOW want to read the book? Why, to find out how inferior the movie was? Basically the definition of following the herd. Well, my curiosity has been fulfilled and I can safely say, avoid, it is bland, drawn out (takes 5 minutes to dialog what a contract says? boring much) Well, appears I may have typed enough for a review,but not gonna poison my website with the review, but IMDb, here I come.
Uwe Boll is finally getting the hang of making movies
My quick rating - 6,3/10. Basically the same movie as the sequel (which I accidentally watched first).Basically a young adult goes against the system and goes on a killing spree to try and teach the world a lesson. There is plenty of propaganda in this movie, but it isn't that far off,just a tad bit too extreme. Still entertaining, albeit violent and mean spirited. Extra couple tenths of a point for an interesting end(easy to guess) and a slight bit better job acting. Oh, and always nice to see max headroom" in a movie LOL
Hopefully Uwe Boll can continue the upward mobility in movie making, since his last 3 that I have seen have been pretty good, and that is hard to say with a straight face after the crap he has made in the past, but still true.
Check realism at the door and strap in for one hell of a bloody action packed ride
When the makers of this film started brainstorming, it had to sound like this: "I don't care about plot, character development, realism or Oscar nods. The goal will be simple, mass violence, non-stop unbelievable action, and a nice looking heroine to dole out all the carnage." Well Joe Lynch (story/director) and Yale Hannon (screenwriter) succeeded ten fold. The movie begins with a naked woman (Selma Hayek) crawling into a bathroom, clearly beat up/abused. She makes it to the toilet where she retrieves a gun and a burn phone from the toilet tank. Well, now you see what you are in for. That is your lead up to 90 minutes of constant action that merely slows down a minute or so here and there to explain everyone is trying to kill her, some for the mob boss, some as hired hit men, and all this takes place in her apartment. I would delve further into the plot, but there isn't one past Hayek is doing all in her power to live and get her daughter and mother to safety so they can start a new life while Hayek has accepted her fate. Hayek as the heroine does a believable job of kicking ass but not being portrayed as some super hero, just a women that has been pushed to limits. There are a couple of under developed subplots, but not worth worrying about. A couple characters you may take to, one being the little girl, of course, and the other being a hit-man who is shot in the opening sequence that doesn't die and actually helps Hayek a bit. But we aren't here for that, just action, blood and each wave of attackers being more bizarre then the last. No one involved made this movie to be taken seriously, so don't expect it to be, just enjoy it for what it is. Oh, and don't welcome the Sadist and the Masochist into your home. You will know why after watching. Enjoy, I know I did. My quick rating 7.1/10
Frankenstein vs. The Mummy (2015)
To point out what people should know
I will start by saying this. I have NOT seen the movie. SO my 5 rating is strictly for a rating to get this post up. Very simply, this movie reviews and scores is the definition of people that worked on the cast, spouses, family members, etc. voting for it. a 6.9 rating as of me typing this but with 2 honest reviews from people that watched it saying a 1/10. Would you people stop pimping your stuff just because you had something to do with it.Have some balls and be honest. I have seen quite a few actual writers/directors tell people in their own review who they are, and why things were the way they were, etc. Honest reviews help the public, I can guarantee mine speak as a movie fan,not a fanboy who happened to be dating the female costar, and so on. If I do waste my time watching this movie, I will certainly rate and review it in an unbiased way. And so should everyone else.
A welcome addition to the horror genre
It's nice to sit back and watch a movie that intends to scare and make you think without trying to give a gorefest. As you all know, I love me some brutal violence, but it isn't always necessary. This movies focus is on a mirror that basically encompasses and possesses those that gaze into it. When a family is entranced by the mirror, and the parents are killed (i'll leave it at that to not spoil to much) the kids who witness the deaths are now the focal point of discovering what really happened. The daughter, who is now 23, purchases the mirror to finally find out the truth, back in the house that they grew up in. Karen Gillian does an admirable job acting as a completely obsessed young adult(at parts she was just as creepy as the supernatural parts). Kaylie (Gillian) picks up her younger brother(played by Brenton Thwaites) who recently was released from a mental institution (you will see why) to unravel the mystery. Through various tests, and evidence collections, the two embark on proving the mirror holds the evil/spirit that caused the deaths of their parents among countless others before. The movie uses flashbacks to when they were children to explain how they survived the first encounter. The seamless transitions of these do well to further the story and keep you captivated with the plot. The slight amounts of blood are used in a way that more makes you cringe then be grossed out. I have to give the editors props for keeping these transitions coherent (slightly unbelievable at times, but it is a movie) and help keep things moving until the end. All and all, a very welcome addition to the genre. Worth the watch.6,4/10
Flesh, TX (2009)
What an utter waste of time
Sometimes just the title of a movie alone should clue you in to how bad it is going to be. In this case, it allured me in to see just how bad it would be. Yes, I am a glutton for bad movie punishment. Yes, occasionally B-budget flicks will amuse, gore out, might have a shining star in the making but guess what, this movie has none of these things. Simple plot, stop in the wrong town and run across a lunatic family that kills and eats people. OK, lots of room to make this good, right? Well, it isn't. The acting in this movie is possibly some of the worst around, almost like they were trying to act poorly. If this were true, then this group deserves the award. Mix that into a stupid story with potential to be silly, or gross and you come up with nothing? That isn't the only drawback though. I am unsure if the film makers allowed their 3 year old children to do the sound and video editing, but it is almost laughable at how bad it was. Clear echoes from multiple mics being used in scenes, cuts to the completely wrong sound effect for what was occurring. At times, it sounded like a different person was speaking then the character (in a dubbed movie type way). I really can't stress enough how poor this was and up until the end when a funny line was said that made me laugh (the highlight of the movie, btw) was "A female dog" Not a spoiler at all, just the phrase earned this movie out of 1 stardom. Yes, I am a positive person and find the good as best as I can. Don't be so kind and abuse your senses with this one, at all.
Crawl or Die (2014)
A movie for true movie fans (i have nothing to do with the movie)
My quick rating 5,9/10. Definitely an experience for true movie fans. The films premise is quite simple:Take a group of elite soldiers to secure a "package" (in this case a woman who is the last fertile woman on the planet) and bring her to be extracted off the planet. OK, maybe not as simple as it sounds. The ensuing squad get shuffled into a labyrinth of tunnels and underground passageways attempting to avoid the forces that want to stop them. But the horror element kicks in, as now they are trapped underground with "something" that would like nothing more than to have them ALL for lunch. The action is not intense, nor do I believe is it meant to be. This film like no other in recent memory has the claustrophobic feeling of being trapped in tiny spaces, each seemingly smaller then the last. Crawling through tunnel after tunnel to avoid the creature is the main focus (please don't whine about it being slow, the creature just as the humans have to move in the same tiny space, which will lead to it being slow moving). This movie shines, as I mentioned, to true horror movie fans. Not for gore, not for intense action scenes (ala Aliens, I'll get back to that) but for that terrifying feeling of being trapped. The camera work is top notch in making you feel there (to the point that thank whatever g-d you will that this movie was not made in 3-d). Often you almost "feel" like you, too, are stuck in that tunnel, or pipe, etc. This claustrophobic feeling is heightened by the brilliant use of lighting. At no point did I see anything but the flashlights the people were using. So it was what you would see in real life, if it is dark behind a character, you see dark. I found that to be the most interesting part of how the movie was shot and edited. The movie does somewhat plod through scenes and you may get a bit uncomfortable with the pace (or maybe just breathing heavy since you are trapped as well) but to appreciate it for the movie, which I am sure was on a shoestring budget, is well worth it. As my readers know, there will not be spoilers, but there will be a gripe about this, the creature bears striking resemblance to that of Alien, spider like body with the elongated head oozing of, well, whatever they ooze. This is a minor distraction as the point is the escape, and the endurance to do so, the creature just needs to be seen to wrap this one up. Kudos for going out on a limb and giving us something the same that we have seen, but taking one aspect (isolation) and bringing it to a whole new level. I look forward to what the future holds for this director and crew(specifically TANK). Definitely check it out.
Stands out against other similar minded movies.
Settling in to this film, I expected to see Hunger Games again. Set in a near-future Chicago, what we see is another take on the dystopian society. The central plot here is that growing up in this walled in world, everyone must fit into one of five classes. But of course, the question here is what if you don't fit into the nicely packaged definition of a single class, then you must be Divergent, or in this movie, a danger to the perfect society. When our main character, Tris (played very well by Shailene Woodley)finds out she is Divergent she must hide this secret and discover the reasons why it is such a secret and why society fears Divergents. I'll leave all of that for you to watch unfold in the various physical and psychological training exercises that are portrayed on screen. In a nutshell, the world painted is similar to that of Equilibrium but with much less action. This is not a bad thing, since this allows the cinematographer to reveal a very wonderfully crafted view of this world. The pacing of this movie moves along nicely as we plod through Tris trying to fit in as a part of the Dauntless clan. Friendships are made, lost, and so on as expected. Even more so is the romantic involvement with the mysterious Four (or 4) played by Theo James (which I believe over acted his part entirely too much). So the mystery of why the government wants to kill all Divergents must be unraveled and this leads to the majority of the story. I was happy with just sitting back and enjoying the view during many of the scenes that were almost breathtaking. Not reading the book, I hope that the movie did well to portray the story but I also know it is a trilogy so they couldn't go from start to finish all at once. Stand alone I believe the movie was quite well made and under-appreciated, swept under the rug by the highly successful Hunger Games series. You will be hard pressed not to see the similarities between them. I am looking forward to seeing what else this world has in store for us and would recommend that moviegoers join me to find out. Will you see silly acted parts, and scenes that are just there to draw you in with nice landscapes and perfectly choreographed music, YES. But why would anyone complain about something like that? I know I wouldn't. Enjoy this film, you won't regret the time you spent on it.
Compound Fracture (2013)
Nice horror flick with some key horror/thriller actors
Movie review:Nice to see Tyler Mane in a role other than his typecast fare. You know him (sorta) as Sabretooth, or Michael Myers, but here Tyler shows he can act, along with write and produce. Michael receives a frantic call from his estranged father to come to his home (a fortress really full of paranoid fears of the supernatural) Here is where Michael (Mane) and his family must confront a spirit(Michaels brother) that took his sisters life. When Michael stumbles onto the murder, he then shoots his brother which leads to a short trip into the afterlife of the angry soul. The movie itself delves into the occult type transition into the afterlife which the family had a knowledge of for generations. Not all go on happy, some stay on a ruthless rampage. The gore is minimal which worked for the film since the characters did a fairly good job acting out a well written screenplay to keep your attention. Far from a classic movie, but will definitely make a fan of horror movies satisfied with a nice story, good images, kills when needed, and all the bells and whistles to bring you back to an age of horror movies that don't need gore and cheap scares to drive the movie. Kudos for the casting director for bringing icons of the horror genre together into this movie (Derrick Mears and Muse Watson, along with Tyler Mane) are very memorable faces from movies and TV I am sure you have seen (kept calling Watson "Franks" LOL ) Overall a great first effort from this team and I look forward to what Mane and Geerlings can bring to the table in the future. Enjoy 5.2/10, IMDb 4.4
The Returned (2013)
A very well thought out take on the "zombie apocalypse"
I will start by warning "zombie" movie fans by pointing out this movie is much more of a drama than a horror flick. So if you are looking for blood and guts, this isn't the place. That said, I thoroughly enjoyed this movie for braving out the thought of how people would cope and react to the situation. After a zombie breakout has been sustained, "returners" still are members of society (infected people that are treated in time to fight the virus). To do this, they must take doses of a drug daily to keep the virus dormant. This of course leads to the whole plot. The acting in this movie was well done, but at times, the people just seemed a bit to normal to me. I guess that is a good thing though, to make it somewhat believable. A good script with some interesting ideas were done quite well and it is nice to see a fresh take on the subject. There are some ridiculous scenes (the car in the parking garage scene is utterly ridiculous) but petty things like this aside, the movie as a whole is well worth a watch (rental or cheapie tickets, not full Hollywood rape price). Enjoy 5.7/10