Reviews written by registered user

Page 1 of 6:[1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [Next]
60 reviews in total 
Index | Alphabetical | Chronological | Useful

5 out of 5 people found the following review useful:
Empty, 17 March 2010

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

This is a movie that I *wanted* to like. I just watched it for the second time and my reaction remained the same: indifferent.

So we have this loose portrayal of Graham Young, a cold young man with a passion for poison. He poisons some family members, takes notes like a good scientist, prison, more poison, end.

I liked the look of the film, and the acting was adequate. But it just drags. It's not dark enough to be disturbing (In a Glass Cage),and there's not enough humor to be a good black comedy (such as 1995's To Die For). Mechanical dialogue. None of the characters felt fleshed out enough to support a 90 minute viewing experience; the shallow characterizations would be fine for, say, appearances in a brief flashback scene. But full length films usually require some characters that aren't so 2 dimensional.

A few nice moments, but I was disappointed.

Pontypool (2008)
13 out of 26 people found the following review useful:
Interesting idea, would be better as a 30 minute short film., 11 October 2009

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

I've seen much worse, but I could live 300 years and I'll never see this movie again. Some smart and funny moments here and there, but ultimately a very heavy handed wannabe "clever" message movie about problems with communication.

They're at the station all day getting phone calls about mobs of people (zombies?) wreaking havoc. But they can't see outside and cannot reach any police to confirm details. This is supposed to create tension, but I just didn't find the phone chats compelling.

Things go on like that for a while, phone calls with screams. Uncertainty.

Then a few characters stutter a little, get zombified, and we soon learn the virus is transmitted through the English language. Language is alive and words can have different definitions. Certain "infected" words are dangerous only if you understand their meaning. So one must "unlearn" them by sputtering incoherent sentences. Preferable while a recording keeps repeating "Sydney Briar is alive" for 10 minutes!. I wanted to shoot the movie screen.

Unlearn and shed all the communications we're assaulted with everyday, and y'all might get a little closer to "The Truth". The dangerous power of media and the madness of crowds is represented by all the zombie violence. This is supposed to be a "really deep" message.

Only the radio host was the least bit memorable. I found this a chore to sit through. The (admittedly rude) phrase that comes to mind is "a thinking person's movie for people that don't do much thinking." But a lot of people seem to like it, so maybe it's just me.

1 out of 3 people found the following review useful:
Not very good. Sorry, George., 26 June 2005

I wanted to like this movie. Romero has made some good movies (dead trilogy, Martin, Season of the Witch, Creepshow). It's quite rare these days that I go to the theatre, but I figured I'd show some support and check it out. I don't regret seeing it- but I doubt I will ever watch it again.

I like the premise, that the zombies are learning and becoming even more intelligent. It doesn't bother me that one zombie used a machine gun and killed somebody with fire. Because if the zombies did not evolve, there would have been no reason to make this movie. We would just be covering the same old material.

Unfortunately, virtually none of the dialogue is interesting. And not ONE of the characters are the least bit memorable. The social commentary felt like it was thrown in there as an afterthought (which is weird since I'm sure it was intended to be so much more significant). Dawn of the Dead (1979) did a much better job of mocking society (although LOTD did score big points by using fireworks to entertain/distract the zombies!). It's all pretty generic and boring. At least a couple people on the message board actually said they think this is George's best movie! I find it a little disturbing and very sad that any adult would think this is a great film. It's absolutely ridiculous that so many people voted this movie a 10! Makes me wonder if any Hollywood execs out there are stuffing the ballot box.

6 out of 8 people found the following review useful:
Sporadic laughs, 25 May 2005

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

Bad, boring slasher horror movie. But some laughs are scattered about. Some of the women are hot. Some of the music is very dated and funny. There's a great bit of bad, redundant dubbing near the end. A woman is threatening somebody, ordering them to keep their mouth shut. It goes something like this "Just remember it. Don't forget. Remember. And just be damn sure to remember it!".

My favorite scene has a girl visiting a friend's house, only to find her dead in the bath tub. Frightened, she runs out and returns a few minutes later. A man is now at the house, and he takes her to the bathroom to show her there is no body. It was your imagination, he assures her. She JUST saw the dead body, and yet he convinces her that nothing happened. She comes back the next day to snoop around, and now sees that the tub has a significant amount of blood in it. We immediately cut to a scene of her wandering around town calling out her friend's name, as if the girl had only been injured and might still be alive. Hilarious!

I used to own a VHS copy of this, but tossed it in the garbage last summer. I sort of regret that. On the other hand, don't go out of your way to watch it.

3 out of 3 people found the following review useful:
"Professional libertine", 13 April 2005

Interesting, fun documentary about porn star Sylvia Bourdon. It does not cover her film career, but rather focuses on her personality, lifestyle, and beliefs. She appears to be a total hedonist. Defines herself as a "sexual communist, but conservative with the purse strings." And she's very blunt and irreverent. At one point she laments that she can't have anal sex because of her hemorrhoids, but she optimistically says she will have the doctors take care of them. "Knowing Sylvia is a surrealist experience," says one of her friends.

Some of the more interesting scenes involve her playing with one of her consensual slaves. She degrades and whips him, all while one of her uptight sexually conservative friends is in the room. Her friend is very disturbed by the display, looking away at times and appearing to sob. Bourdon tries to explain that she and the man both enjoy the activity, but the uptight one is too horrified to understand.

And perhaps my favorite quote occurs at a dinner scene. A man criticizes Sylvia, charging that food and sex are all she thinks about. Sylvia cheerfully concedes "I'm a c*** with a stomach". Good times!

3 out of 6 people found the following review useful:
Many chuckles to be had., 6 April 2005

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

An absolutely absurd horror flick, featuring the always amusing Aldo Ray (Bog, Executioner 2, Don't go near the Park).

It begins with some young adults camping, and having lots of sex. Some are murdered and taken to a cheap looking hospital. Two women in '50s style scifi Jetsons outfits wander the halls. Three old aliens of human appearance (Carradine, Louise, and Newmar!) are there, mapping out their plan. They depend on fresh victims for their blood, and they are paying two idiotic mechanics (a gold coin each) to do the kidnapping.

It's a lot of fun. There's a ridiculous easy-listenin' song during a love scene, and other lousy 80s music (one which I suspect might be sung by the dumb blond character). Lots of bad acting, and Karrie Emerson looks hot in red! And, it features the time-honored line "gives me the creeps!". Do they say that in every horror movie???

Irrelevant trivia: at least 3 or 4 porn stars have bit parts in this movie. Even the script was written by a porn veteran. I would love to hear how this project came to be. I hope this gets a DVD release someday soon!

Hi, Mom! (1970)
5 out of 6 people found the following review useful:
Awesome!!, 5 April 2005

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

An odd, cynical movie. And it puts a smile on my face.

A young De Niro plays Jon Rubin, a single guy that wants to become a porn director. He's been spying on the all the neighbors in the local apartment building, and hatches a plan to make voyeur porn, filming the unwitting neighbors. Some smart dialogue and slightly corny humor develop, and a great cast makes it work wonderfully. One of the neighbors is a bearded young white fellow whose liberal politics are in overdrive. He's producing a play called "Be Black, Baby". The flyers promoting the show feature photos he's taken of white folks painted black. Seeing him pose for the camera, you can see that he is proud and excited- apparently he thinks that covering himself in black paint will immediately enable him to completely understand the plight of African Americans. And perhaps help purge whatever latent racism he has within. Nice goals, but a useless strategy. Cracks me up.

Anyway, De Niro's porn career doesn't take off. He ends up trading in his camera for, embarrassingly, a television. And he ends up auditioning for Be Black Baby, playing the role of a cop. The play is a "guerrilla theatre" production, with actors interacting with audience, and designed to help races identify with one another. A bit slow at times, but it's pretty intense and realistic.

The end of the play (now being shown on a television that Rubin is watching) shows the theatre troupe storming a middle class apartment complex, a flaccid attempt to spark revolution. The middle class tenants defeat the revolutionaries. Rubin can't take it, pulls out his gun, and fires at the television! His whole existence had been swallowed up by activism, and so he can't handle its failure.

Flash to what is presumably several years later, and Rubin is now married with a kid on the way. His wife and he have inane conversations about his job and the color of the washing machine. His passionate idealism was fleeting, inevitably replaced by his surrender to the rat race.

But then Rubin lights dynamite in his apartment complex, killing many people including his wife. People interviewed outside the wreckage aren't that disturbed, one man lamenting that his wallet was in there. And Rubin approaches the news camera because he wants to say hello to his mother.

My description may make this sound like a dark movie, but (except for the play sequence) it really is a fun offbeat comedy. I even loved the music. Check it out!

2 out of 3 people found the following review useful:
Disappointed, 2 April 2005

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

I was prepared to laugh throughout this movie like a Mystery Science Theater experiment, but it was just boring. It appears that the producers had many biker enthusiast friends, and from there casually decided to make a movie.

It is frequently unwatchable. Lots of footage of the bikers riding on a dirt road, with the same music played repeatedly. Unfortunately, Renee Harmon is barely in the movie. Harmon probably would have livened things up. Perhaps she had other commitments the day this was filmed.

Of course, the bikers terrorize a small town. Fights, murder, a cowardly cop, a goofy mechanic, etc. One of the bikers always wears a football helmet, a weak attempt to distinguish him from all the other outlaws.

The script has nothing to offer. One scene features a biker assaulting a woman, yelling in the lady's face "You're all the same! You're all the same!". We come back to the scene a minute later and he again declares "You're all the same!". Couldn't the writer think of something more creative to say??

At the end the good guys have killed the bad guys. We also learn that the wedding between middle-aged mechanic Joe and young Susie has been canceled. Susie is going away to college, and we abruptly learn that Joe's wedding is still on (but with a different bride). End.

2 out of 4 people found the following review useful:
"This isn't easy for any of us... so let's just have breakfast.", 31 March 2005

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

The above sensitive quote is delivered by an authority figure trying to comfort some teens the day after one of their friends has been killed. Overall I think this is easily the most entertaining Friday film. It's terrible, but amusingly so. This movie averages more than one corpse every 5 minutes.

This time around we have a group of teens with psychological problems staying at some isolated treatment center. They wander around freely, so it's sort of another camp scenario. We have the usual stereotypes substituting for actual characters. The stutterer. The new wave chick. The horny couple. A corny hillbilly mother and son. The furious mayor. A guy whose entire character is defined by his reading a porn mag and making a lewd gesture at the beginning, and then later snorting coke. A pair of rockabilly dudes, one of whom wanders into the forest to defecate (that was unexpected, as people outdoors generally wander off to take a leak, instead). We also meet a waitress who spontaneously flashes her chest in the mirror for no reason (one assumes the director was under pressure to meet a breast quota). Of course, there is a thunderstorm throughout the climax of the film. The movie also features Dudley (of "Diff'rent Strokes") and two cast members from Return of the Living Dead. That right there is a good enough reason to watch F13 part 5. And the stiff acting of the grey haired cop is also pretty funny.

I find it ridiculous that some F13 fans hate this movie because the real Jason is not in it. Does that mean if the final 10 minutes were edited out, they would actually consider this to be a good movie??

2 out of 3 people found the following review useful:
"When you need an instant orgy, I'm your man!", 25 March 2005

Not very exciting but somehow still watchable tale about Leo, a man who hates his job and turns to crime as a means of achieving the kind of lifestyle he wants. Although he enjoys the simple things in life (he inexplicably pours some unidentified candy into his bottle of RC cola in one scene), he wants more. He is a petty thief who can't get a raise at his job. Fed up, his girlfriend leaves him at the beginning of the movie. He then hooks up with a stripper, and together with a dim-witted buddy they rob a bank. Needless to say, things don't quite go as planned. The climax features a crisco orgy interrupted by a shoot out with the police.

'tis a low budget film with all the expected weaknesses. And very dated. It features some fun, hokey country music. Perhaps the oddest thing is how it shifts gears between a would-be action drama and scenes which feel like they belong in a soft-core porn flick. There's quite a bit of gratuitous full-frontal nudity.

Page 1 of 6:[1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [Next]