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16 reviews in total 
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7 out of 8 people found the following review useful:
Cinema's Greatest Masterpiece, 11 August 2002

I am the proud owner of a copy of 'Terror in the Jungle' which I bought for £2 second hand at Stevenage indoor-market. What I took home was a thrilling journey through bad film making, a movie which excels at every aspect of trash. If I didn't know better I'd say this movie was a spoof. The over reliance on stock footage, dubious extended scenes of a young boy crying and a frankly racist depiction of South American tribesmen all combine with hilarious wooden acting. My favourite scene is the plane crash when all the passengers jolt upright with 'terrified' expressions on their faces. Classic.

Bopha! (1993)
2 out of 3 people found the following review useful:
Quite good, 30 October 2000

Bopha! is surprisingly quite a memorable and inspiring film about the troubled years in South Africa. One of my favorite actors, Malcolm McDowell was as ever brilliant playing the evil policeman. The problem is that I and many others are used to seeing McDowell as an anti-hero and by casting him as such a nasty role as he plays in this film, you do not feel as shocked and disgusted by his actions as you should do.

Hardware (1990)
1 out of 2 people found the following review useful:
Too much colour, 29 October 2000

Bare in mind that I watched this film while very drunk on Absinthe at a Halloween party.

I thought it was overall quite good but it was clear that it was inspired by Terminator 1 and perhaps Blade Runner and Mad Max. There are some creative death scenes and interesting moments.

The only thing that let it down was that it was overly colourized throughout. Every scene had either a red or a blue or a yellow filter taking over all the light and this gets frustrating fast. But apart from this flaw, it is an enjoyable scifi action horror.

(note, I used the English spelling of colour)

Scary Movie sucks, 19 September 2000

Scary Movie was a spoof of a spoof. Since Scream was a spoof anyway. It focus too much on Scream and has all the originality of a digestive biscuit. Many of the jokes could of been amusing if you hadn't seen already on the trailer. I suppose you might like this if haven't much film experiance.

7 out of 9 people found the following review useful:
Rampant 1970's nudity, 19 July 2000

It seems this was made as an excuse to show plenty of nudity from two highly attractive sisters and some poorly constructed witchcraft scenes. Unlike many Hammer releases, it at least portrays sex with more then a childish giggle. Overall, this takes itself too seriously and the plot becomes too confusing towards the end. However, the dated fashion is worth a look as is the sleazy fashion photographer. Not to mention the main sisters involved, (later to be seen in the popular UK TV series 'Allo Allo').

1 out of 2 people found the following review useful:
Drink your tea and don't play those patriot games, 15 July 2000

As a British person, I am not in the least worried about the ludicrous fake history in the film. What I have found is that you can instantly silence any American that raises the subject of The American Revolution with some hard facts: The chattering classes in London supported the American revolution since they hated George III every bit as much as the Americans did. That almost half colonists were against serving the union and were treated terribly by the rebels, and that the Boston tea party was a protest not against British taxes but against the removal of the duty on tea. The men dressed up as Indians in Boston harbour were smugglers whose livelihood had disappeared. Finally I would say "the American revolution was a victory for the British since British settlers under the command of a British general defeated German mercenaries under a German King."

7 out of 7 people found the following review useful:
Not bad, 15 July 2000

I bought this on video under the title "Entity Force" for £2 second hand at a pawnshop, mainly because I liked the cover. What I got was an OK early 80's horror film that could have had more gore and titty but what it lacked in the gore/titty department it made up for in cheese. The climatic zombie fest towards the end of the film left nothing to be desired. The zombie's legs didn't bend when they walked! Also a valuable lesson is learned as a result of this film, whenever you encounter a back-from-the-dead physic with blue lightening coming out of his eyes, use your compact mirror!

Deadly Intentions (1985) (TV)
6 out of 7 people found the following review useful:
Genuinely thrilling, 13 July 2000

I bought this video for £2 second hand because the cover looked like a horror film. What I got was a thriller but very well put together and well acted. What's more, I found it in many ways to be as scary as any horror film because unlike Zombies and monsters etc, this could happen and it is based on true events. Watch this to see perhaps the worst husband you could ever meet. I especially liked the "gut you like a fish" speech. The most chilling part is the ending but I wont give that away. I am yet to find the sequel but I would love to see it.

0 out of 2 people found the following review useful:
One of the better Salvation releases, 11 July 2000

Life can be tough when you are a resurrected French vampire maiden. Especially so when you crave a constant supply of ready fresh blood. Fortunately the vampire in this film has her trusty blood-sister to help her out and keep those bothersome American tourists away from the castle. Overall this is a fairly typical ‘Salvation Films' release with the mandatory candle lit atmospheric scenes. Worth a look, I reckon.

2 out of 4 people found the following review useful:
Bizarre, original and freaky, 10 July 2000

I stumbled across this video at a pawnshop called "Cash Converters" at my town center. Once I blew off the dust I decided to buy it on a whim. I had never heard of it but its £2 price tag led me to believe I had nothing to loose. It now sits proudly in my horror collection. This film is in a word, freaky. It makes use of real life sideshow freaks to tell a disturbing story about a mad scientist and his ungodly experiments to create a plant man. The various mistakes that occur are put to use at the friendly local fair. The only problem this film has is the rather pathetic effects used when real freaks are unavailable. However, Donald's performance is as ever wonderful and the film maintains a creepy atmosphere. There is also some great titty shots of voluptuous young seventies women. Well recommended for horror fans (if you can track down a copy like I did).

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