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17 reviews in total 
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2 out of 5 people found the following review useful:
To quote A History of Violence, 12 February 2007

How could you F--k that up?!?

A cast to die for. Gorgeous cinematography. A story that already won an Oscar.

So where did this movie go wrong?

The casting - Great actors doesn't mean they're always great for the part. Would it have killed them to find a few actors who could be convincing as Southerners? So much miscast talent. Jude Law, who can be good as the really handsome guy or whatever he does, is totally lost in this role. Loved that Jackie Early Haley.

The pace - Deadly. So slow. Such little tension. Booorrrriiiinnnngggggg.

Enough of me. I'm get annoyed just thinking about the film.

0 out of 2 people found the following review useful:
The Sleeper Hit of all Bonds, 2 January 2007

You've heard all the complaining about this Bond film. But have you actually sat down and watched it recently? I've been a Bond nut for 25 years. And I don't think I've seen this one since I was a kid. Until last night at 3am. And what I re-discovered....

- The Music. John Barry's work was never better than bass and horn driven theme. Adds a whole level of excitement.

- Diana Rigg. Just when you thought casting couldn't beat Denise Richards as a physicist, Ms Rigg enters the scene. She's the most gorgeous and alluring of all the Bond women. After all, she's the only one who stole Bond's heart, and not just his nards.

- The Editing. It's surprisingly zippy for a 60s movie, covering the cheesy use of blue screen while making the action scenes jump off the screen. Bond's attempt to escape Spectre is amongst the finest set pieces of any Bond film..

- George Lazzeby. A real find. Charming, yet still able to get across some Daniel Craig menace. He's no Connery, but I actually don't think Connery could pull this movie off as well, because...

- Tragedy. Bond loses at the end of this film. Big time. His and Diana Rigg looking forward to "all the time in the world" breaks your heart

It's no Thunderball. Nor Goldfinger. But it sticks with you more than almost any other Bond film. Next time it's on Spike or TBS or Encore (which should be in the next ten minutes), give it a go.

Daredevil (2003)
0 out of 1 people found the following review useful:
How could you F this UP?, 13 December 2006

I'll get the good out of the way. Jon Favreau. Adds class and gravitas AND humor. And Colin Firth's arrogance adds to the character of Bullseye.

That's about it.

Affleck and Garner were TERRIBLE. The voice-over might have been bad even if Morgan freeman read it, but its unbearable with Mr Affleck's flat, nasal delivery.

The action scenes? Totally confusing.

Kingpin? Um... I have no idea what he was doing. Just seemed to hang out and glower.

Showdown (1993/I)
1 out of 4 people found the following review useful:
The Bizarro Karate Kid, 21 October 2006

It's 3am right now, and I had the TV on just to fall asleep to. And up comes Showdown. With the awful Flock of Seagulls hairdos and worse wardrobe (denim as far as the eye can see), I just assumed it's a mid 80s Karate Kid knockoff. But it's from 1993!!!! Post grunge. But none of the filmmakers knew that.

It's actually two movies. One about Billy Blanks who's good at kicking backside (and apparently is a janitor). The other's about some high school doof who likes Christine Taylor, and is willing to use his lame karate to win her over (sort of like how I woo'd my wife). I watched two scenes back-to-back and LITERALLY thought I had changed the channel.

I have never been more confused by anything. Ever. Movies written entirely in the Apocalypto language would make more sense.

And to top it off, one of the last lines of the movie is... "You did it." "No, we did it"

I can't imagine anyone will ever watch this intentionally. But if you do, please let me know your thoughts.

2 out of 4 people found the following review useful:
It's about a video game... so set the film at a rave?, 2 February 2006

It's pretty rare that you notice how bad the lead actress is in a straight to video horror sequel.

But sadly, that's one of the smaller problems of this movie.

Hellraiser use to be one of those rare horror films that had a real mythology to it. Not just a guy with a hockey mask, but stories that made you use a little bit of your brain between moments of mayhem and nudity.

Not anymore. Now it's just a slasher film dressed up in Pinheads clothes.

The worst part of this installment? It's about a bunch of video game addicts. So they have the entire movie take place at a rave, featuring lots of fellatio. Makes perfect sense.

The saddest part? I got this off netflix, and it took me about three months to watch the whole thing. So it was like a $36 rental - equal to what Lance Henriksen's agents must have gotten.

The scariest part? Lance Henriksen's smile in an expository photo. the stuff of nightmares.

L Man

6 out of 8 people found the following review useful:
Makes perfect sense!!!, 27 June 2005

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

I'll admit... this is not a good movie. But it has some things that always work.

1. A buxom woman and the star of SOUL MAN running for their lives in the middle of the dessert. Joyride. Duel. Breakdown. It's everybody's biggest fear... except for being stuck in a cornfield.

2. Jake Busey's teeth.


3. KILLING OFF THE LEAD half way through the film. Totally unexpected... except by C Thomas Howell's agent I suppose.

4. An airport runway that magically appears out of nowhere. Love that!!!

5. Completely random reference to the grisly murder from the end of the original.

6. About ten different endings.

7. Flaming body parts.

As straight to DVD fare goes, this is surprisingly palpable. Totally worth waiting half my life to see this sequel.


17 out of 35 people found the following review useful:
F-----G Awful, 22 August 2004

Why do you people like this movie? It's basically one long nerd joke with no characters, no plot, no nothing. I saw this with a packed house. Five people laughed at every so-called joke. The rest of us were silent. My buddy went out and wandered the streets instead of watching the second half.

I'm sorry. It's not funny. And the filmmakers seem to hate all of the characters - ripping off movies like Rushmore and Election without an ounce of those movies compassion or depth.

It's unfunny sketches strung together. You could have played the movie out of order and nobody would have known the difference.

And it ends with a weird dose of racism.


2 out of 6 people found the following review useful:
Did I laugh at this? I don't remember....., 22 February 2004

A comedy in which I laughed out loud app four times. Once I chuckled. A small guffaw or two. That was it. For 90 minutes.

Remember when Groundhog Day took the same concept and found every imagineable laugh possible. What does 50 First Dates do... use lines like "Very funny" as a retort. Adam trying new ways to impress Drew for the first time, again and again. "You're the state moron of Hawaii." Sean Astin with a lisp. AND WAY TOO MUCH DRAMA ABOUT DREW'S CONDITION.

I don't ask much of Adam Sandler comedies. And this one couldn't even reach the bare minimum. Hell, even Little Nicky was funnier.


I've always had a soft spots for number threes.

Nightmare on Elm St: Dream Warriors Friday the 13th in 3-D Porky's 3 Return of the Jedi Beverly Hills Cop 3 (actually, that's one of the Ten worst films ever made. Scratch that)

And Spy Kids 3 has now topped the list. It is a far superior film to either Spy Kids 1 or 2 (a feat I have never seen happen in any franchise)

From the junior gumshoe prologue to George Clooney's remarkable Stallone immitation to the exciting Meca-Car-Chase to the lead boy's poignant cry of "I never got her email!!!" Spy Kids 3 made me feel more like a child than almost any film this summer (notable exceptions: XMen 2 and the blatant nudity from Freddy vs. Jason... which reverted me to a 12 year old in seconds)

It's more than worth a rental... if it includes the 3-D glasses.

FANTASTIC, 19 August 2003

The movie opens with gratutious nudity, and only gets better from there.

A wonderful campy time.

High body count. AMAZINGLY AWFUL BAD ACTING. The worst dialogue I've ever heard.

It's just a gem.

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