Reviews written by registered user
ipfaneyte

2 reviews in total 
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Parker Kane (1990) (TV)
4 out of 9 people found the following review useful:
Utterly boring formula flick, 23 March 2000
1/10

The perfect 6 step recipe for a boring middle of the road movie:

1. Take one burnt-out, rogue ex-cop with a bad attitude, yet a sensitive touch as well (closet concert pianist with a pet cat);

2. Add some "cool" retro gadgets like a beat-up Porsche 356, a roaring bike, a heavily patched leather jacket and a pair of cowboy boots with holes in the soles;

3. Mix in a couple of "free-spirit" locations e.g. a trendy sea-side apartment and a dedicated diner booth for an office;

4. Spice it up with "deep" socio-romantic themes such as a post-divorce-traumatized-but-finally-remarrying-ex-wife, a secretly-admiring-and-therefore-forgiving-waitress, a pair-of-former-colleague-cops-only-one-of-whom-is-really-a-complete-jerk and a best-buddy-getting-iced-over-a-suitcase-full-of-illegal-$$$;

5. Let it simmer for about 90 minutes in a "fast-paced" though not necessarily logical or internally consistent sequence of mediocre action scenes, cheap tender moments and sluggish wise-cracks;

6. Serve with either a comfortable pillow to sleep straight through it all or something a bit more interesting (don't worry: even the yellow pages will do!).

0 out of 2 people found the following review useful:
Incredibly lame, 20 January 2000
1/10

This must be one of the worst movies ever made. For those accustomed to Dutch TV series for children: you will be delighted to know that half the cast of 70s classic "TiTaTovenaar" makes some sort of (cameo) appearance in this waste of celluloid.