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secrective

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55 reviews in total 
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0 out of 3 people found the following review useful:
the first torture porn film?, 11 May 2012
1/10

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

why are people saying this is a good film? its not a film at all.

its just torture porn with a threadbare plot.

please please don't waste your money on this crap.

steal a copy if you really want to see it.

then when you are done watching it, break the DVD so it cant be watched again.

there are so many other better korean films.

memories of murder, the host, thirst, the host etc etc.

if you want to see gritty gory stuff, check out i saw the devil or the chaser.

wayyyyyyyyyy better in every respect.

23 out of 40 people found the following review useful:
Boring, dull, dull, dull, lacking humor. Not like Wallace and Gromit at all!, 1 May 2012
6/10

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

The Pirate Captain is a pirate. But he never actually kills, steals or plunders.

Despite how many times they mention sea shanties in the film, they never actually sing one! It feels like they cut out a lot from this, but at an hour and 30 minutes it already drags quite a bit. The third act you see coming a mile away and i just wished it had ended when he first wins the pirate award.

Unfortunately the film was made for 3d. Which means gone are the amazing camera and visuals we've seen in 'the wrong trousers' and 'close shave'. Replaced instead with ... pies to the face and swords pointed to the camera, and even some googley eyes for good measure. The henchmonkey chase is pretty great however.

The pop soundtrack is so uninspired , yes they are going to London, no, you don't need to play 'london calling'. Why do movies feel the need to use songs as exposition.

The other captains looked more interesting. None of the secondary characters had much to do. Cookie-cutter by the numbers plot. Absolutely zero danger or suspense in the whole film until the ending. Some of the dialog was just exposition, very strange, for example "i'm being smashed by barrels of vinegar!".

On the pro side, the animation is fantastic. Some sight gags to chuckle at. Actors and actresses are all great, including the female pirate dressed up as a man. The non-speaking chimp stole the show as soon as he was introduced.

I love pirate films and Aardman Animation, but this just bored me. Maybe it works for young kids?

Easily a Top 10 Chinese Horror Film., 22 April 2012
10/10

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

A busy bustling town shuts down instantly. Vendors and shoppers run back to their houses. Children are carried back home in a rush. The main street is empty. Is this a Western? Has the villain just walked into town? No! It is a group of corpses.

A big genre mix of a movie. It has something for everyone! Chinese vampire/zombie, revenge, road movie, horror-comedy, Think of it as the PREDATOR movie. Instead of army dudes, you have Chinese taoist priest and his crew of fake Chinese vampires. Instead of a secret mission to kill bad guys in the jungle, you have a secret mission to smuggle opium. Instead of the PREDATOR hunting our heroes, you have a REAL Chinese zombie/vampire.

This movie heads straight into the action, no exposition at all. If you don't know about Chinese vampires or taoist priests and the like, you will be confused.

Ranks up there with Close Encounters of the Spooky Kind, Spooky Spooky, Ultimate Vampire, Mr Vampire, amongst others.

Be sure to enjoy THE THING soundtrack tacked onto this. Ennio Morricone scores work with any film wonderfully.

korean mystery keeps you guessing til the end!, 14 December 2011
8/10

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

wow. well, where to start? i'm not going to explain the plot or movie because it might ruin the twists and turns this movie takes you on.

Paradise Murdered starts off on a small island community of people and workers in south Korea. someone turns up murdered and some detectives have been sent in to figure out just what the hell happened.

a very claustrophobic thriller, is it a north korean spy? a curse placed on the island? a ghost coming for revenge or a simple fight over some gambling debt? korean cinema has really knocked out some great films like 'memories of murder' and 'the good the bad and the weird' and 'the chaser' and 'i saw the devil' and 'the host' and this is no exception.

2 out of 4 people found the following review useful:
do you like space rock operas? yes? this movie is for you!, 12 May 2011
9/10

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

Well Well Well. what a juicy 80s movie. kickin soundtrack, actings alright.

ITS AN ALL GIRL BAND MOVIE, going to a gig, in outer space.

The songs are pretty damn catchy. they are frequent within the soundtrack.

What more do you want from a movie? Why isn't this (and all Albert pyun movies) on the syfy channel? seriously underrated and under watched.

i recommend other pyun movies too.

a space Alice in wonderland. if Alice was in a band.

sfx are good. some cool looking monsters and puppetry.

hair is 80s. some neon showing here and there.

if you like this sort of thing, 'bad channels' and 'critters' make great 80s music/space movies.

2 out of 14 people found the following review useful:
moore's "new" movie is repetitive, moore's "new" movie is repetitive, 26 September 2008
1/10

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

i heard that michael moore had a new movie out, and that it was available on the internet. so i downloaded and watched it for free.

i am a fan of his movies and love his other documentaries including his tour documentary "The Big One". "The Big One" was very well produced and included interviews with people who had lost their jobs. radio show interviews, moore talking with corporations and lots of footage of moore running around signing books.

sorry to say, but this movie is just poorly edited. there is at least 20 minutes of applause footage. short clips of moore giving speeches, a few celebrity interviews. some footage of moore traveling and going to call centers. opposite of his other films, there is very little outside footage.

most of the movie turned out to be: short speech - applause - short speech - applause - speech - etc.

don't waste your time with this movie. watch 'the big one' or 'canadian bacon' instead. or 'roger and me' if you want to see moore in action, and not just giving speeches.

Mosaic (2007) (V)
5 out of 9 people found the following review useful:
Stan Lee rips' off Mighty Max?, 20 January 2007
6/10

The story seems good enough. Daughter of an Interpol agent gets tangled up with mysterious ancient relic, which then gives her comic book hero powers. The characters are well developed and likable. The pacing is good and really does feel similar to an episode of 'Mighty Max'.

The writing is clichéd. There aren't any big twists, save for one minor one near the end. The ending is abrupt, and predictable.

Animation is decent enough. A bit like the current warner brothers cartoons, except with a higher budget and more detailed animation.

Its kid friendly with no swearing and only has some violence (neck snap of one security guard).

If you are lacking good Saturday Morning Cartoons and need a fix, this will do. Otherwise skip it.

8 out of 11 people found the following review useful:
No Mercy for the Rude, 28 October 2006
7/10

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

No Mercy for the Rude is a smart jog into the hired killer genre. About a man who wants to pay for an operation to fix his inability to talk. He makes a rule that he will only kill the rude, only the scumbags, until he makes $100,000.

Narrated from the perspective of a mute, we follow him as he deals with his work and non-work life. This movie can be enjoyed in any language, as the violence is universal. The main character is mute almost all of the entire movie, but his inter-monologue is better than everyone else's dialog. 'Ballet' and the other killers are very likable and work well within the story.

Overall it was well directed, good editing, some great bits of comedy and a nice touch of drama. Other reviewers have said its like a Quentin Tarantino movie, and i would agree that it is of similar style and substance.

7.5/10

3 out of 4 people found the following review useful:
wow. edge of my seat., 10 August 2006
10/10

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

imagine if you will, a normal family with 2 kids that moves into a new house. now imagine the stress of this new house has driven one or more of them insane. after watching this movie i still do not know how many of them were actually crazy.

a black comedy from japan circa 1984, A Crazy Family is one heck of a good movie to catch. the pacing, camera work, plot, characters, location, and soundtrack are all top notch.

a real mind f#$% of a movie. showing the audience just how close anyone can come to going crazy. each character is well written and has a great personality. one scene with grandpa and the daughter was great, i cant believe the director said such things about world war 2. frightening and exciting at the same time.

after watching this and sogo ishii's other movie 'electric dragon 80000v', i really must watch the rest of his films.

Evil (2005)
7 out of 11 people found the following review useful:
Greek zombie movie plays by the rules!, 9 August 2006
10/10

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

Opening scene is a few guys exploring a cave, someone hears something then blam! back to present time... split shots between the previous people in the cave as they are seen in a dance club, at a football/soccer game , and eating dinner with family.

then the fun starts, each one turns into a zombie and starts eating people. the scene on TV of the football/soccer game felt VERY realistic. each person the original guys bite, turns into a zombie, and so on and so forth. our first character is eating dinner with her dad (one of the guys in the cave). at the table, out of nowhere he starts coughing and soon hes biting his wife! the daughter runs to the neighbors apartment and asks for help. now we meet the second character. both girls then start to run for their lives! VERY good gore in the zombie kills and human eating. some funny parts in the movie too. Evil (to kako) does not add anything to the zombie mythos, but offers instead a well done romp against the undead in athens. the zombies in this movie are fast and slow at the same time... some can jump, some are slow. not super-fast like 28 days , but not slow and lumbering like night of the living dead.

good soundtrack and tight camera work makes this genre feel new again and creates a fast paced zombie thriller.


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