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Easy Kill (1989)
The film that proves Frank Stallone should stick to singing
Frank Stallone (fraynk sta-lone) n. Brother of star Sylvester Stallone. Talents include singing, songwriting, and acting.
Wait, scratch acting. The man is as wooden as many teen heartthrobs that act are today.
A little background: Frank, thanks to his brother, started a singing career with the release of the Sly-helmed STAYING ALIVE (1983) and its soundtrack. After one album (his self-titled one), he faded into obscurity, making a few others that sound like they're worth checking out.But before that, he did several films and the end credits song for RAMBO: FIRST BLOOD PART II (1985). This is one of his worst.
Frank stars as Frank Davies, the owner of a bar called Frank's (original!). The man winds up smitten when Jade Anderson (Jane Badler of V fame) walks into the bar, distraught, and buys a couple of drinks. Frank follows her out of the bar and offers to take her home. Jade, despite knowing Frank for all of 10 minutes, accepts, but gets out the first time he stops. Frank, knowing her address, goes there and learns of Jade's troubles after he is nearly run down by a blue Pontiac. She tells him of her diplomat husband Alex, who, in the opening scene, sells some cocaine, kills his cronies, and keeps the cash for himself. Alex is using his diplomatic immunity to smuggle coke out of Peru, and Jade is being menaced by him, having found out too much. Frank decides to protect her, but winds up in a scheme involving bombs, cash, and Jade may be involved (if you've seen BODY HEAT (1981) you've seen it coming). Can Frank dig himself out of this hole? Now, for the review: Frank should really stick to singing, as his acting completely blows. He tries to sound like his brother, and fails. Jane Badler, along with the other actors, does a here-for-the-paycheck job. The writing is horrendous, with one scene sounding like the page was put into a shredder and pieced back together at random. The director, to quote MST3K on FUTURE WAR (1997), seems to have shot the film without looking at it. The film is padded with long scenes of driving (THRILL!). Should tell you how exciting the rest of the film is.
There is one nice plot twist (will not reveal), but apart from that, stay away from it. The film got a well deserved trashing at the Agony Booth, and I highly recommend that, but the actual film should be avoided unless you're an aspiring MSTie.
Verdict: BOMB (no stars)