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Zombie_CPA

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72 reviews in total 
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1 out of 2 people found the following review useful:
Worst Movie in the Series, 26 October 2015
4/10

I don't even think there was a script because this movie is pretty lame. Rabbit opens a topless bowling alley and Millard Findlemeyer (Gingerdead Man) is stuck in the Evil Bong for most of the movie surrounded by two topless girls. There is not much of a story here. People coming to the opening day of the bowling alley and acting silly. For some reason Ooga Booga even shows up at the alley and there is a cameo in the movie by David DeCoteau. Stay away from this one unless you just have to watch the entire series. Band didn't really have a story here. It is just a meandering piece of garbage and the laughs are seldom.

Unsullied (2014)
1 out of 3 people found the following review useful:
Dull movie, 28 August 2015
4/10

A woman has car trouble and gets stranded in the backwoods. She gets help from a couple brothers who must have enjoyed The Most Dangerous Game a little too much because they kidnap her and then chase and hunt her after she escapes from them.

Ex-football player Simeon Rice writes and directs this film which seems to be an attempt to be a throwback to the rape/revenge exploitation films of the 1970's. It is very lacking though. Lacking in intensity, lacking in grit, lacking in cinematography, and lacking of a big payoff in the final act. There were about 15 in the audience today and I heard more chuckles than anything as the movie got a little stupid at times.

I like the basic idea of a well conditioned athlete getting hunt down by rednecks, but this movie was very poorly executed. The flashbacks scenes were overdone and the flow of the movie just wasn't quite right. The camera-work was amateurish in the film. It looked like something that Todd Sheets would have done. The lead actress did a decent job, but I wasn't sold on her character. There were times when I was fighting sleep because I was just so bored and disinterested in this film. Overall, I give it a 4/10 and no worth going to the theater to see.

1 out of 2 people found the following review useful:
Not enough gorilla, 12 February 2015
6/10

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

Basic Plot - A old plantation owner in the jungle has a beautiful, blond, high maintenance wife. The wife seems to be a gold digger and is more interested in the plantation manager than her husband. The manager of the plantation kills the plantation owner to marry his beautiful wife. The housekeeper witness the murder and puts a voodoo curse on the manager which turns him into a gorilla.

A very interesting cast with an early performance by Raymond "Perry Mason" Burr as the plantation manager and Lon "Wolf Man" Chaney Jr. as the detective who is investigating the crime. Curt Siodmak has his directorial debut in this film. He is much better know as a writer who was involved in several horror classics and B horror films of the 1940's including "The Wolf Man", "I Walked with a Zombie", "The Beast with Five Fingers", and "Son of Dracula".

The best part of the film is the atmosphere and quirkiness. It is basically a poor man's "The Wolf Man". That makes since because Siodmak wrote the original screenplay to "The Wolf Man". The lines to the movie are very poetic and the actors tend to get overdramatic when delivering them. It is very reminiscent of the early 1940's. These cheesy lines and delivery make the film fun and kept it interesting to me. I especially enjoyed the housekeeper. She was very creepy and reminded me of Maleva in "The Wolf Man".

I did not care for Barbara Payton. She seemed to be a little too high maintenance and out of place in the jungle. I also was disappointed in Lon Chaney Jr. He seemed disinterested and his small role. It could have been more interesting if we had more gorilla in the film. The gorilla had very little on screen time. Maybe it was some Val Lewton influence on Siodmak since he was involved in "I Walked with a Zombie".

Parts of it reminded me of "Cat People". Does the plantation owner really turn into a gorilla or is it all in his mind?

I enjoyed the poetic, overdramatic acting, but It could have better with more gorilla.

9 out of 9 people found the following review useful:
Great, atmospheric film, 30 March 2010
8/10

Obscure Finnish horror movie about a woman who goes to a sorcerer to get help in her love life. She gets the help, but the side effect is that she turns into a vampire reindeer at night. It is kind of like watching a werewolf film.

The movie is both excellent and interesting because I got to see a culture that I hadn't seen on film before. It was a village of reindeer herders in Northern Europe. What other movie can you see with a reindeer race? Anyway, I thought Mirjami Kuosmanen as the woman with the taste for blood. The movie has very few words but a continuous score in the background. It is almost like watching a silent film. I found the cinematography very interesting in this film. Overall, I get it an 8/10 and recommend that you see it if you can find it.

Cat Girl (1957)
6 out of 8 people found the following review useful:
More proof that I have bad taste because I loved this film, 27 March 2010
8/10

Plot This movie was a less subtle copy of the 1942 Val Lewton masterpiece, Cat People. In this version Leonora Johnson played by Barbara Shelley inherits the family curse from her uncle. Leonora has a Leopard which she fells it thoughts and controls the beast. Of course the leopard also corrupts her thoughts too and makes her more savage. Leonora returns to her homeland with her gold digger new husband. Leonora's feelings for her old boyfriend, Dr. Brian Marlowe, are rekindled. Of course he married after she left. Well, I don't want to spoil anything but I think you get the gist of this.

My Review This movie was filled with atmosphere with thunderstorms and the old mansion. It also had a little The Wolf Man feel with the housekeeper, Anna (Lily Kann), reminding me a lot of Maleva from The Wolf Man. Barbara Shelley did a wonderful job in the role of Leonora. She was no Simon Simone, but she still captured the bestiality of the character. The rest of the cast was adequate. The movie was paced more like a movie from either the late 1930s or early 1940s. I felt like I was watching a Poverty Row horror film.

The ending was very predictable. I have taken off a little for the lame ending, but I loved this film. It is my second favorite horror movie from the 1950s behind Invasion of the Body Snatchers. I give it a strong 8/10.

15 out of 26 people found the following review useful:
Three Intertwined Tales of Horror, 25 September 2009
7/10

Three stories of monsters, vampires, and a female zombie warrior are intertwined during the zombie apocalypse in the micro budget film. I loved the beginning with the zombie warrior girl whipping up on the zombies. The zombie makeup was extremely well done for such a low budget movie. I also thought the gore was plentiful and done well.

The stories were all developed well. The movie had a slow burn style of pace where the viewer slowly gets to learn more information about the characters and the situations. I have always enjoyed a slowly developing story so I liked the way it was delivered. I also like watching character driven horror films. The segments were all pretty good. The weakest was the computer one although it had a nice little "Tales from the Darkside" type of ending. The strongest was the vampire segment. Some viewers will be annoyed because the endings of the segments are a little open ended and some of the facts are left unexplained. This didn't bother me though. I like to be able to use my imagination some. There were several places of dry comedy in the film. I enjoyed the comedic touch.

As far as weaknesses are concerned, I felt the acting wasn't great, but what do you expect out of a micro budget film? Some people have complained about the quality of the picture. Yes, it is shot on video, but I thought it was done pretty decently considering the budget restraints.

Overall, I thought the movie was a lot of fun. I enjoyed watching the plot slowly roll out and the little pieces of comedy thrown into it. The ideas of the film might not have been fully developed, but that is why the viewer has a brain.

1 out of 2 people found the following review useful:
Go for the 3D and Gore. The movie isn't that good though., 26 January 2009
6/10

The gore and nudity were very strong. This movie went for a hard R. The 3-D effects were done extremely well. The movie was o.k., but nothing special. The other positive was they did develop the three main characters some and they were not 21 years old like most slashers.

This is a film that can only be effective on the big screen. This is one I don't see any reason to revisit after it comes out on DVD. I thought the ending was too cliché and predictable.

Overall, it is good theater experience for the excessive gore and 3-D. It is worth a trip to the theater for that aspect. I was disappointed in the story and honestly was just ready for the damn thing to end. I give the movie a 4/10 and the effects an 8/10. My overall score is a 6.

43 out of 66 people found the following review useful:
A fun film, 25 April 2008
7/10

The Story: W has just started his fourth term as president. He is now at war which about a dozen countries. A group of scientists are working on making super soldiers to fight the wars. The experiments go wrong and they decide to terminate the experiment. One of the zombies escapes and infects a stripper at a nudie bar.

My Review: Well, you can't go wrong with pole dancing, explicit gore, and zombies. This movie was a lot of fun. There were plenty of boobs, one liners, gore, and zombie attacks to keep it interesting. At times the pacing was off and some of the scenes were a little awkward, but this film would pick up the pace with a good zombie attack, pole dance or some humor. The acting wasn't terrific and the characters were bland and one dimensional, but that just added to the fun. This is the film that Planet Terror should have been. Too bad they are playing it at the posh Angelika. I was the youngest person in the audience. It could have been more fun in a raunchy, cheap theater where you feet stick to the floor and you have to be careful not to set in the seat that shoves a spring up you backside. Overall, this film was a lot of fun. Go in with low expectations and watch it for what it is: a low budget zomdy with bad acting.

8 out of 17 people found the following review useful:
Romero's Back!!!, 18 February 2008
8/10

Romero's Back!!! Romero leaves Hollywood behind to make another zombie film with more of the sense of dread and total chaos and no longer the sense of hope like Land. I liked Land of the Dead a lot, but this film was a lot better than Land. While Land had no heart and very poor characters, I enjoyed all the characters in this film.

The acting I Diary was weak at times and some of the scenes were a little quirky, but overall, I loved this movie. Unless you count 28 Days Later as a zombie film, it was my favorite zombie movie made since Day of the Dead. Romero once again does a successful social commentary in a zombie film. This time he biting the hand the feeds him though by attacking the media. There is also some good military commentary in the film.

What I liked most about this movie was the total sense of dread. It is what drives me to see Armageddon-type zombie films. It is a film where the characters basically have no hope for survival. They are just out to film the truth. Honestly, it somewhat feels like the Zombie X-Files.

They say you can't teach an old dog new tricks, but I think Romero does a successful job with a movie using the modern communication technology and a POV style shooting. POV serves this movie very well also Romero does do a little "cheating" in scenes which obviously require two cameras and there is only one present.

Overall, I consider this my 5th favorite Romero movie behind Night, Day, Dawn, and Martin. I am glad to see Romero jump back to his independent roots and leave Hollywood behind for his 5th zombie film.

11 out of 12 people found the following review useful:
A very fine film if you can find a copy, 14 December 2007
8/10

A poor painter who is rejected by his love for being unsuccessful sales his soul to purchase a hand from a restaurant owner that makes him a great artist. He is able to win her love and has instant success in the art world. He must get rid of the cursed hand before he dies or his soul will be lost to the devil. He also finds out that the devil does not always deal fairly.

This is another terrific 1940's horror film. The story is very similar Faust and The Monkey's Paw. It is well done, suspenseful, and interesting from start to finish. I thought the ending was just a little weak but besides that the movie kept me engrossed.

The cinematography is great and the story is well done. Parts of the film had an expressionist look to them (in particular the sinner's carnival scene at the end).

The VHS tape that I saw was the British dubbed version, The Devil's Hand. I typically hate dubbing, but the dubbed voices were done very well. Overall, I recommend that you get a copy of this film if you can find one.


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