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Knight Chills (2001)
Verily, this Ranketh Low and Wretched.
Not even fun for gamers - makes the old Mazes & Monsters (an early Tom Hanks made for TV bomb) seem like Lord of the Rings by comparison. Orcs could put on a more enjoyable production.
Senseless plot. Confused gamer crashes into a tree after playing a role-playing game. Host of the game loses his job and is harassed by the police and news-media as a direct result. Confused? I sure was.
Normally, people driving home late at night and having an accident would not lead authorities to attack the people/friends where the person was driving from unless there were Drugs & Alcohol involved and some sort of witnessed connection. Zero evidence of foul play, folks. Zero evidence of Logic, too.
When actual murders begin, police become clueless and merely ask a couple of questions of the already destroyed Game Host.
Whatever "action" occurs is just too murky even to make out. It's that badly shot.
To sum it all up - Terrible Dialog, Abysmal Line Delivery, Truly HORRIBLE lighting and filming, and Zero Acting ability from all involved. And a hopelessly amateur plot to top it all off. What a complete mess!
Resident Evil: Apocalypse (2004)
Sound and Fury Signifying Nothing *Micro-spoiler*
This one was very much anticipated and has way too many problems to feel we had a payoff for the wait. The movie tries so hard to throw everything into it, it does at times seem to provide some surprising moments, but on the whole, leaves much to be desired in terms of plot. The overall choppiness and rapid cut of the action sequences often makes it very difficult to tell what is happening. All you get is a flash of motion and a crunch or two. And the overkill factor was just too much in evidence throughout, but without any meaning to most of it.
The logical flaws in the movie were myriad and, sadly, very, very serious. For instance, the idea that a 20 foot tall wall completely encircling a city to contain a virus and completely isolating everyone inside could be even built, much less done within 13 hours is pretty much impossible. And Raccoon City seems to be a fairly large city. And that's just for starters.
On the plus side, there are so many killings and bashings, that many people may be distracted from adding up all of the ideas and timing problems that make no sense. Indeed, trying to make out who hit who with what weapon or which body part might be sufficiently distracting to have most people forget the attempt to follow the story at all, which would actually reduce the potential for migraine.
For those of us with brains that are not exposed and who have somewhat shorter and less deadly tongues than those seen in this movie, we might say one thing is for sure "THIS MOVIE HAS THE T-VIRUS THROUGHOUT & T IS FOR TORTUROUS"
The Abortion That Somehow Survived...
An epic of unbounded worthlessness...
I always hate it when the sequel ignores the ending of the previous film and come up with a nonsensical way to continue the series on(Escape from the Planet of the Apes was the first to do that, though there was some redeeming value to continuing that particular series).
Anyway, dreadful as a descriptive term is not really enough. Abomination is more apt. Somehow the future has become a rainy Blade-Runner-esqe culture with lots of orphan kids banding together in subterranean hovels hacking the net and using words like "cool" a lot while fighting the Big Evil Fascist Programming Corporation. And becoming allied to Neo-Navaho Chip designers who've moved in to the Unibomber's cabin.
Enough with trying to describe this spam on film. It's main star, like the plot, has no legs to stand on right from the outset.
The Computer animation was far inferior to the first film, like low-grade hamburger is to prime-rib. Hamburger left out on the counter overnight. Phew!
A list of the faults and problems with this film could fill volumes and I'd just like to say AVOID THIS TORTURE, especially if you halfway liked the first film. This one completely ruins the first and even complaining about it won't help the sour taste left in your mouth after you swallow back your own bile.
Really, really ghastly...