Reviews written by registered user

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19 reviews in total 
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3 out of 3 people found the following review useful:
Shut up and... just shut up., 13 July 2011

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

"Shut Up and Kiss Me" is a disappointment for low-budget gay cinema. What could have a been an examination of modern relationships being approached from an old-fashioned mindset turns into a noxious portrayal of settling for less than you deserve. Our story revolves around Ben, a man in search of love in ALL the wrong places. He tries video dating, internet profiles, setups from friends, all to no success. Finally, by pure fate, his new neighbor, Gray, comes running into his life. For all of Ben's troubles with trying to find Mr. Right, Gray has Mr. Right and a ton of personal troubles. For the better part of an hour, we are given a cutesy development of their relationship as they try to dispose of their emotional baggage. The journey is sweet, though very short-lived, for by the time we reach the final fifteen minutes, we are given stupid choices stacked atop one another by both of the leads. This would be suitable enough if this were a study in how easily one can be blinded by love, not knowing the person you thought you did, or even just trying to look past someone's flaws that will inevitably be a relationships downfall. However, what started out as enjoyable quickly turns into disgust as you will find yourself chastising the characters like you would a friend in an abusive relationship. You know it does no good, but you still have to voice your opinion. For those looking for a sweet, light, decently made low-budget gay-themed film, stop at the one hour mark and save yourself from disappointment, which unfortunately is not what the characters in this film do.

2 out of 3 people found the following review useful:
It's direct-to-video, what can I say?, 27 August 2000

Well, actually, I can say a bit. Ok, we all know this is direct-to-video, but it is actually pretty good considering. Actually, the late 90s produced a few direct-to-video flicks worth viewing. At times I even think that the direct-to-video flicks are better than some horror films that manage to go to theaters. I mean, at least these know they're bad and don't pull us in with good marketing.

But that's enough about horror movies in general. "The Clown At Midnight" is a slasher film that brings you back to the 80s, when horror movies were trying to be fun, and occasionally scary. That is what this movie is like.

First off, unlike some direct-to-video slasher films, this movie has some potential. The cast is surprisingly pretty talented. We are actually given actors that we might have heard of somewhere out of the horror realm: Margot Kidder (well...), Christopher Plummer, Tatyana Ali, James Duvall, etc.

Second, the story is reasonably good. Maybe it's just my general paranoia of clowns, but I actually found the movie creepy. At times, the movie actually delivers some pretty good scares. Wow! Yeah, I'm just as surprised as you.

Finally, this movie tries to give it's body count some depth. Yeah, most of the teenagers in this film are just there to get killed off, but they have personalities. Back in the eighties, around the time we got to "Friday the 13th part... 30," characters in horror movies were just meant to show up, have sex, and get killed. The characters here, though a couple do follow this pattern, still have... something to them. We are given bitchy characters, smart-ass characters, sweet characters, wimpy characters, and, of course, horny characters. You know, the kind that figure: "hmmm... we're in a creepy old theater house where people were murdered before and, as far as we know, the killer was never found. Let's have sex!"

Ok, so we have a bunch of teenagers in a place they should never have gone to and die off one by one. We've all seen it before, but who cares. Some of us actually appreciate cheese... and this cheese tries to be scary... and delivers at times. It's direct-to-video, it's not classic, it's fun, and it's creepy!

1 out of 2 people found the following review useful:
One of the greatest television shows ever!, 8 August 2000

This is one of the greatest sitcoms, and television shows, ever! I rank it amongst "The Simpsons" and "I Love Lucy" as one of my favorites. It had the guts not to put up with the average family fluff crap that was popular at the time it was first aired. Now, this show has become classic. Who cannot recall when Buck died, or when Joey Lauren Adams took Bud's virginity, or when Peggy convinced Al to come home for a nooner. These are moments in television history. This was a hilarious sitcom that, though I was sad to see it go, was smart enough to depart, unlike many other sitcoms ("Boy Meets World," anyone?) before it was no longer funny! Fox needs to show re-runs of this show sometime, maybe in that "Simpsons"/"Drew Carey" block somewhere.

16 out of 17 people found the following review useful:
I Miss This Show!, 8 August 2000

This is a teen sitcom I honestly miss. Where I live, it was shown at 6 a.m. on Saturday mornings, so I would have to wake up earlier than usual to tune in. And I did! This teen sitcom was better than practically all of that T-NBC junk on the air now. The show had a talented cast, clever (and realistic) dialogue, originality (the comic scenes are uproarious), and reality. For a teen sitcom, it surprisingly had teenagers acting the way modern teenagers really do, not like little kids in teenagers' (actually, 20-somethings') bodies. A great teen sitcom that just could not find its place on television.

4 out of 7 people found the following review useful:
A Classic Suspense Masterpiece, 4 August 2000

I'm convinced that when you watch this movie you either going to absolutely love it or truly despise it. The Talented Mr. Ripley opens to a group of black lines running up and down the screen, much like the beginning of Psycho, and continues on the same level as the classic all the way throughout the film. Matt Damon gives a chilling performance as Tom Ripley, a 1950's sociopath with a love for the piano. While borrowing a Princeton jacket from someone to tickle the ivories, Tom runs into Mr. Greenleaf who mistakes Tom for a Princeton graduate, therefore associating him with his playboy son, Dickie, played perfectly by Jude Law. Mr. Greenleaf offers Tom $1,000 to go to Italy and bring back his spoiled brat. Being nothing but a poor boy, Tom does not correct the man on his assumption and gladly takes the trip and money. While in Italy, Tom meets up with Dickie and his betrothed Margie, Gwyneth Paltrow, convincing them, as he had done with Mr. Greenleaf, that he knew Dickie from college. Dickie and Tom strike up an instant friendship, and perhaps more, making each the brother the other never had. As the story progresses, it does not turn into a typical slash and gash flick, but a slower-paced, tense psychological thriller, putting you directly into the mind of a truly disturbed man, and in doing so, making you actually root for the bad guy. Tom Ripley is the obvious villain, but you just cannot help but like him. Making Tom so enjoyable is his complexity, and the disgust you feel for the other characters. Tom is confused man with motives that do not depend on revenge or hatred, but love. When Tom meets his socialite companions, he believes they actually care him. Margie puts out an `I'll be your best friend' demeanor while Dickie confuses Tom, who is already flustered by his sexuality, into believing he loves him. Dickie is a spoiled, rude, angry, adulterer, his girlfriend is an overbearing back-stabber, his best friend, is almost as bad as Dickie himself, and then there's Meredith, another pampered, egocentric rich girl. With a group of `innocent' victims like this, it is no wonder that Tom becomes the most amicable. Anthony Minghella combines lush landscape, spine-tingling music, and deliberate pacing to create a chilling classic. True-to-life characters, exotic locations, a conceivable story, and the surprise of homosexual overtones, we are given a film that will, no doubt, go down in cinematic history as a landmark masterpiece. Every performance is right on the money. Matt Damon has that boy-next-door look that really scares you into thinking that anyone could be a psychotic murderer. Where many actors would overdo Ripley by giving him evil grins or wide eyes around every corner, Matt Damon underplays this and makes Tom frighteningly realistic. Along with him, the supporting actors are excellent. Jude Law manages to pull off an American accent to perfection and turns Dickie Greenleaf from a self-centered rich boy into a hated bastard. Gwyneth Paltrow and Cate Blanchet are also wonderful in their contrasting female leads, Philip Seymour Hoffman pulls off another great performance as Freddie, Dickie's counter spoiled-brat, and Jack Davenport is incredible as Peter, the only character that is actually ultimately good-natured. Sensational direction, superb casting, and a tight-locked script make The Talented Mr. Ripley one of the 10 Best films of the year. A+! A chilling good time!

Kolobos (1999)
2 out of 2 people found the following review useful:
The Real World: Crystal Lake!, 23 March 2000

"Kolobos" is just what you would expect it to be, a direct-to-video B-Flick for the 90s... with a twist. OK, there are substantial amounts of gore (a little too much for my taste), sub-par acting, and a dark house full of victims, but it actually tries to be intelligent. Our main character, Kyra, actually has a bit of depth to her. She is not just another big-breasted ditz out of the eighties; she actually has problems that don't relate to who she is going to take to prom or if her outfit is slutty enough to attract her dream man. Although, the rest of the characters are pretty annoying and you kind of wish they get offed quickly... and, of course, they do, and in a variety of clever ways. It's not just the axe or meat-cleaver for this serial killer. No, no, what we have here is a murder that knows how to cope with their surroundings, using anything in their grasp to eliminating the "Real World" crew, which, let's face it, is what we've all been waiting for. And as for the ending, for those of you that can't figure it out, e-mail me to find out what was going on, because this is not the place to spoil the movie. Personally, I thought the ending was quite intelligent for a piece of direct-to-video schlock, digging deep into the mind of a psychologically disfunctional artist. Overall, not too shabby, but, as always, it could have been so much more.

Dogma (1999)
A Comic Romp Through The Garden Of Eden!, 27 February 2000

I just came back from watching "DOGMA" and let me tell you it is a hilarious, comic-romp in the world of Catholicism. The story alone is worth the admission price: Bethany (Linda Fiorentino), an abortion clinic employee is sent by an angel (portrayed perfectly by Alan Rickman) to stop Loki and Bartleby, two fallen angels, from returning into heaven after being booted out and beating the system by finding a loop hole to get back in. Along the way, Bethany runs into two prophets who are, of course, Kevin Smith's timeless characters Jay and Silent Bob. While traveling to New Jersey with the two hormone-driven goofballs, the travelers encounter Rufus (Chris Rock), the 13th apostle not mentioned in the Bible because he's black, and Serendipity (Salma Hayek), an abstract (muse)-turn-stripper. As the road trip continues, we learn that many of the Christian myths are really not myths: Jesus was a black man, God is a woman, sex is a joke, etc. Dogma is part road-movie, part buddy-flick, part religious escapade, and, basically, it's "The Bible: The Comic Book!" Throw in Jason Lee as a Demon, skaters from hell, and a mission to destroy everyone behind the Mooby conspiracy and what else could you ask for. Perfect performances, classic direction, and a laugh-out-loud funny script make this one of the best films of 1999. So, take the advice of the movie's tag-line and "Get touched by an angel!" A MUST-SEE! A! 9/10!

46 out of 46 people found the following review useful:
Grab A Box Of Tissues, 24 February 2000

"Untamed Heart" is an absolutely touching tear-jerker romance. Every once in a while, I just want to find a movie that allows me to let go and just cry. This is definitely one for the records. The chemistry between Christian Slater and Marisa Tomei is so strong that you just can't help but believe these two people actually care about one-another. Marisa Tomei as Caroline, a waitress that seems to work all hours of the night and Christian Slater as Adam, her quiet, secret admirer dishwasher with a heart problem. Throw in Rosie Perez as Caroline's smart-ass best friend and what more could you ask for? These characters have such depth that, even though the plot is a bit predictable, you feel so much for them and by the end, you will be reduced to tears. I still tear up every time I see this movie. The perfect film for any sap with a taste for sentiment. It will always have a special place in my heart. A romance to go down in movie history. 9/10!

Cube (1997)
0 out of 1 people found the following review useful:
Science-fiction at its best!, 20 February 2000

I absolutely love this movie. It is a genuinely creepy, sci-fi flick with plot twists and turns around every cubical corner. Absolutely wonderful! The story is simple enough, a group of strangers wake up in a rubix-cube and need to find a way out, but the film is so much better than it sounds. The characters, eventually suffering from a bit of cabin fever, of course begin to turn on each other. Like I've always said, "You don't need to worry about monsters, people are scary enough." To describe this film in a word, "CREEPY," plain and simple. This movie really gets you thinking and may even make you a bit paranoid. Despite what has been said by others, the acting is quite good. I've seen FAR worse in bigger-budgeted Oscar winners. Anyway, a good movie, definitely worth a viewing.

Future Cult Classic, 20 February 2000

OK... Watching this movie, I was thinking "Deep Blue Sea" meets "Cube," but that doesn't detract from it's entertainment value. A group of very... unusual characters get together and crash on a planet infested of flying, nocturnal, man-eating creatures and, of course, terror ensues. Yes, yes, the plot has been done, but still an entertaining flick. What really saves this film is the group of un-likeable characters. Basically, there is not really a character you find yourself cheering for... and I find that a big plus. You have a criminal with cats' eyes, a pilot who'd realistically save her own ass before thinking about anyone else, a cop-like character who's almost as dangerous as the criminal he's captured, and several other disposable characters that predictably turn on one another as soon as the suns go down. The special effects are good, but I preferred how they didn't focus to much on them. What gives this film the bit of creepiness it has is what you don't see hiding in the shadows. To think of it now, you don't actually SEE the monsters all that much. What you have is a "Blair Witch" element of "sometimes it's what you don't see that scares you." In any case, not a bad movie, but I can't help but feeling like I was watching a direct-to-video flick that got mixed up with a film with better production-values.

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