LuckyDragon Reviews

Getting That Girl (2011)

Never underestimate...

[1/10 · 21 January 2014]

The power of a well-timed f*@k.

That was a piece of advice I heard years ago when I was just starting out as a writer, and it has always stuck with me. Apparently, the writer of this film did not hear the same because the characters are foul-mouthed little twits who curse like their high school principal was Quentin Tarantino. The worst part is that when they do it in front of authority figures (parents, teachers, etc), there's no reaction. I'm in my 30s, and I'm still afraid to curse in front of my parents! Trust me, there's a reaction!

Amateur hour for sure. It's like the writer went, "I have no clue how to write high school students. Hey, let me give them a mouth like a sailor on leave and maybe that'll work!"

It didn't. It so didn't.

Slightly Single in L.A. (2013)

I blame the turkey for this turkey

[2/10 · 28 November 2013]

It's amazing what a Thanksgiving food coma will do to a girl. Case in point: I watched this entire film. The entire bloody thing. Those are 90 minutes I will never, ever, be able to get back!

Oh. Holy. Hell. What did I do????

To say the writing is insipid is being generous. The dialogue is downright lame, and when it's delivered by actors who seem completely unenthusiastic about appearing on camera, the entire thing is just painful. The tragedy here is that I have seen all of these people, every one of them, in roles that showed they are actually capable of acting. It's like they read the screenplay, realized that no one was ever going to see this piece of tripe after all, and then decided to dial it in. From Norway.

I'd suggest you skip it, but if you're determined, make sure you've stocked up on a bottle or three of wine first. It's the only way you'll survive.

Anne of Green Gables: The Continuing Story (2000)

A literary disappointment

[23 March 2004]

I first fell in love with the story of Anne Shirley and Gilbert Blythe as a seven year old when my family watched Anne of Green Gables on The Disney Channel. I read the books as quickly as I could, and I make an effort to re-read the books every 2 or 3 years. Even at 25, I find myself laughing at the same parts, crying at the same parts, and wishing that Anne would just accept Gilbert's proposal the first time he asks her. Every time I finish Rilla of Ingleside (book 8), I wish that Lucy M. Montgomery had just written one more book so that the story could continue...

The story did continue in 2000 with the third installment of Kevin Sullivan's Anne films. However, this one was a complete departure from the story that I and little girls around the world had grown to love. Where the first two movies were laden with episodes from the books, the third movie had nothing in common with the books at all. Were we supposed to ignore the fact that by the time WWI rolled around, Anne's CHILDREN were old enough to fight? According to Sullivan, while the rest of the world moved ahead about 20 years from the time of the bridge scene to the time the third film opens, Avonlea was stuck in a timewarp.

Sullivan should have realized that the people who would have waited for a third film after 15 years were the ones who truly loved the Anne story. While the movie is able stand on its own as a love story between a woman named Anne and a man named Gilbert, those of us who waited deserved a continuation of the story L. M. Montgomery wrote. Keeping close to the the first four books served Sullivan well when putting together the first two movies. I for one would have loved to have met Captain Jim, Susan, and old Dr. Blythe; to be a part of a wedding that I have imagined from my childhood; and to see Anne and Gil experience the joys and sorrows of their House of Dreams. Sullivan's decision to completely ignore the works of L. M. Montgomery is an insult to her memory, her work, and her fans.

What the Deaf Man Heard (1997 TV Movie)

Watch what you say, you never know who may be listening!

[21 January 2001]

For me, Hallmark Hall of Fames are like the Super Bowl, the main event is nice to watch, but the commercials are the real reason to tune in. What can I say, I like cheez. However, "What the Deaf Man Heard" is a rare exception. This is a movie that captured my attention. I laughed, I cried, it was better than CATS. I don't believe it's on video, but CBS plays it again every so often. Check it out.

The Legend of Bagger Vance (2000)

Fore stars

[8/10 · 3 November 2000]

In a year where there haven't been that many films to get excited about, The Legend of Bagger Vance is one that is. Robert Redford has taken two good actors, Matt Damon and Will Smith, and made them GREAT actors. This film doesn't need sex, action, or an overabundance of curse words to be successful, it's as simple and yet, as wickedly complex as the game of golf itself. I won't give anything away, but this is a wild ride of emotions that will keep your attention right up until the credits start to roll.

The low part of this film is Charlize Theron's performance as Matt Damon's former love. At times, it seems as if she has forgotten that she is playing a Savannah belle and drops the accent. However, if you ignore her faults and remember that she's not the star, she's just a double bogey in an otherwise perfect round.

This is an amazing film that golfers and non-golfers will enjoy. A definite hole-in-one.

Anne of Green Gables: The Continuing Story (2000)

I waited 10 years...for THIS!

[30 July 2000]

When I learned that there was to be a third installment of the Anne of Green Gables series, I was thrilled. I was even more excited when I learned that Megan Follows and Johnathon Crombie were to return to their roles as Anne and Gilbert. However, the mess that I found myself watching was a total slap in the face for all who love the books and the first two movies. The glaring continuity errors (where did 5 years come from...Gil was already a year in med school in Anne 2), plus the fact that by the time WWI hit, Anne and Gil had tints of grey and 8 children (this was RILLA'S WAR!!!) made it hard to accept it from the start. Not to mention that they completely fluffed over the wedding like we haven't been waiting all these years to see it!

I cannot believe Kevin Sullivan was behind this monstrosity. He directed the first two with such care to the storylines. I would have understood if Marilla was dead, but the rest should have been done with the same respect given to the first two. If that could not have been done, the movie should not have been done at all.

Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace (1999)

A big disappointment

[1/10 · 10 January 2000]

Like everyone else in the western world, I couldn't wait to see the prequel to the Star Wars movies that I loved as a kid. I was so disappointed in this movie. Acting hit a new low, and the new characters didn't live up to the standards set by Han, Leia and Luke in the old movie. Jar Jar is annoying and needs to take a long walk off a short pier in the next movie. Plus, it didn't take long to figure out what was going to happen. So maybe it wasn't fully Lucas's fault. I mean, how concerned are you going to be when Obi Wan is "fighting to the death" with Darth Maul when you remember that Obi Wan is in "A New Hope"? This movie is a huge disappointment when compared to the first three. The special effects are amazing, but other than that it's not worth it.