Reviews written by registered user
Havan_IronOak

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397 reviews in total 
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1 out of 1 people found the following review useful:
Not as bad as folks claim, 3 June 2017
6/10

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

I was first introduced to this material with the star-studded 1975 version. Despite what I felt was outrageous overacting by Albert Finney (and sort of tawdry performance by Anthony Hopkins) that version will always be my benchmark.

Others prefer the David Suchet version which has interesting aspects as well. Yet, some find it too religious.

This version manages to capture most of the elements of Christie's story and yet updates it to the new millennium. Not sure why that update was done as part of the original's appeal (for me at least) has always been the recreation of the pre-WWII era.

Yet here we have a production that somehow manages to struggle by on only nine murders. We lose a butler, a cook, and a lady's maid. Guess it's just hard to find good domestic help these days.

We have a trashed VHS tape substituted for a burnt note, a PDA stylus substituted for a pipe cleaner & some matches. We still have the fine handkerchief with an embroidered H. We have a software billionaire for substituted for the famous pilot and we get a mention of OJ to make up for the Diesel for rather than the classic steam train. We have a rock-slide substituted for a Snowdrift. We have No kimono, No Greek Doctor (not even a vet) We have tech savvy Poirot who uses a laptop, we still have grease stained Passport and a broken watch (Thank God it wasn't digital!) And we have the English American translation issues with Attorney/Solicitor but also Vacation/Holiday As with many adaptations, I wonder why the changes were made. Some work, some don't. While this is never going to be my preferred (or even second best) version of the story, it is still watchable and merits a single viewing.

Let's hope that the new Johnny Depp version does as well.

I can appreciate the attempt but just NO!, 31 May 2017
4/10

I understand the desire to want to do something out of the ordinary for the 200th episode. I also also like that they decided to honor the noir detective genre of the past. The colors are well done, the costumes are great and the music is good.

However, it was an exercise in perseverance to get through this episode. This group of actors is good at spouting the scientific jargon that's so integral to this show and they are charming and easy to watch on a weekly basis but they don't have the talent (or the material?) to pull of this tribute episode.

If you're a completist like me, then my condolences as you watch it. If you're more of a casual Bones fan, just go with that instinct to skip this one as soon as it hits. It doesn't get any better.

7 out of 9 people found the following review useful:
I would have loved to have seen a real movie about this..., 29 July 2014
2/10

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

I've rated more than 2000 films on IMDb and this film has earned its dubious place in my list of the 10 worst movies I've ever seen.

I'd like to start by saying that I love gay films and films with gay themes and it pains me to have to write a review like this one.

I think that the best films are literate, insightful and consistently entertaining. The story-line should be organic and draw the audience along through the plot points.

"An Angel Named Billy" misses on almost all these counts. The story doesn't move quickly. The encounters are only comedic unintentionally (in their ineptness). Several plot points were totally unrealistic. I learned nothing about human nature from anything any character in this film said and I was consistently irritated by how poorly the ideas were presented. On top of that the acting was, below even the standard I've found in off-off-Broadway productions.

I'm a nut for completeness and I've tried to watch every gay film that I come across. Yet, this is the first film that I gave up on before the opening credits were finished.

Today, resolving to give it another chance, I sat through it in its entirety hoping against hope that it would improve... or at least end.

Finally I rated it a 2 because it did have some characters and situations that I WOULD have cared about had they been in a better movie.

An afternote: What really irks me most about this film is that there were characters and situations here that could have made for one of my all time romantic favorites. Unfortunately that's all wasted by the inane script and inept film-making.

What irks me second most is that the only other review of this film on IMDb gives it 10 stars and that my first review was flagged & deleted. This one has been rewritten and I'd like to know what, if anything, was objectionable about my first review other than that I told the truth about a movie that I personally disliked.

Low budget After school special version of the popular boy detective, 2 July 2014

I loved these books as a kid and recently re-encountered them again after seeing a few in a thrift store. While the plots haven't changed all that much its a bit harder to enjoy them as an adult than as a child.

The TV series was a low budget adaptation with a self aware kind of humor that wasn't all that fresh in the 1970's when it appears to have been filmed and has aged poorly.

If you are a completist, by all means check out an episode (or even two if you can stand it) but I'd recommend that anyone else just stick to the book versions.

2 out of 4 people found the following review useful:
Gender Blind Casting is OK... PLOT-Blind cinematography is NOT, 15 June 2014
6/10

Just watched Private Romeo and I gotta say I was disappointed after all the positive comments & reviews.

I understood that the story was a modern take on the Romeo & Juliet story set in a boys' military academy. For me it just didn't work.

I tried to get behind the "gender blind" casting, a variation on "color blind" casting in which the audience pretends NOT to notice a the actors race and just goes with the character as written. For me this didn't work because the characters adhered so loosely to the characters as written.

The story is all about how two factions are brought to grief when a member of each faction kills themselves after becoming a couple.

In this version, I couldn't tell the factions apart or even if there really were any. There were no parental arranged marriages, no killing of cousins in duels, and even bigger departures from the story... but that would be telling!

I'm a big fan of restaging Shakespeare in other scenarios. West Side Story and Ran are great examples where "bending the Bard" actually added new and interesting aspects to an already classic tale, but this one added nothing and detracted a LOT. I saw all of my favorite speeches of the play marred and made less by this staging.

Also the production values were glaringly deficient in spots. Why stage a military drill scene without bothering to ensure uniform uniforms, and with so small a number of "cadets?"

This felt much less organic throughout than that Woody Allen movie where he took an already released Japanese movie and substituted his own dialogue.

The boys were pretty and there were moments where the actors managed to get my interest & empathy DESPITE the total lack of any help from the vehicle they were performing in.

It may well be me. There are a number of very positive reviews of this film by critics from The NY Times and The Village Voice et. al. but after seeing this I'm if some form of payola wasn't involved...

New Hope (2012)
1 out of 3 people found the following review useful:
Lotta missed potential, 26 March 2014
4/10

This is supposed to be the story of a preacher's kid and his family after they move into a small southern town where a local high school golden boy committed suicide a year ago. The preacher's kid joins the basketball team and immediately runs into problems with the dead teen's younger brother.

Despite having some attractive young talent, the story had a number of structural plot flaws and the low budget showed painfully much of the time. Much of the action revolved around scenes on the basketball court, both practices and games. Now I'm not much of a sports fan but having a high school basketball team with only eight players (and about 15 cheerleaders) seems a bit off to me.

Some of the awkward plot flaws included the preacher's kid meeting the dead teens ex-girlfriend in the woods. The dialogue somehow managed to be wooden and inorganic at the same time.

There was also a dinner party that was the worst conceived since Titus Andronicus.

I think that a movie about a Christian family moving into a town where there's been a teen suicide is a good idea. I'd still like to see a movie about that, just not this one.

1 out of 2 people found the following review useful:
Short portrait of a call-boy in a crisis, 2 May 2013
6/10

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

It's never explained why this young man has turned to prostitution but it's heavily suggested that a drug habit is involved. What pain the drugs are masking is left to the imagination. As with many short films, this one poses many unanswered questions about motivations and back-story but this film is successful in getting you to care somewhat for the characters.

It's an apt snapshot but not much more. It suggests that the director has potential but it will require a more fully developed story-line to tell for sure. The young kid and the prostitute were bot well cast but the other man seemed too young to be the father of a kid that age.

I felt a short bit of disappointment at the end in the denouement. I expected the film to come to a better conclusion than the walking away scene that we get.

1 out of 3 people found the following review useful:
OK idea ruined by poor execution, 13 June 2012
4/10

This movie is to good film what off-brand carob is to chocolate. The idea of a family friendly movie with a talking mule was fine. But the dialogue and the events pictured in the movie were terribly executed. It's as if the writers and the director couldn't be bothered to put together a reasonable movie.

And it's too bad because there were a few nice moments. I've never heard of a rodeo event like the one featured in this film. Even if such a thing exists the audience cheering an event that they can't see doesn't make much sense. And the holes in the plot logic were big enough to drive a horse trailer through.

I am curious how something like this gets made. I wonder what the producers were thinking. It's certainly not apparent in the film what caused this to get mad and released at all.

Crazy (2008/II)
4 out of 4 people found the following review useful:
Strangely compelling Bio-pic, 6 June 2012
6/10

Apparently Hank Garland was a great guitar player. Perhaps a great musician and not much else. In keeping with that, the music in this film was great as well, but the story was strangely unmoving.

If this pic is to be believed, he was bad at marriage. He married a woman but neither one loved the other in the truest sense of that word, that is wanting their happiness more than one's own. Each just wanted some of their needs met. On the positive side, Garland was essentially color-blind when it came to music but again, that may not have been a real virtue in his case as much as just a failure to see anything outside the music.

Because of his arrogance and talent he was a problem for those around him. That failing eventually brought about much of the unhappiness in his life.

The ending sort of suggested that in the end he was left with little but the songs he'd recorded and strangely that might have been enough. As with many movies, things are simplified to fit in the allotted time and I'm still unclear about many aspects of his life. For example, he's listed as being survived by two daughters and two grandsons named Garland. I'm not clear how that was possible. Given that facts like that have been left out of this film, I wonder what else was left out.

BTW... there is another, very different movie C.R.A.Z.Y. that I enjoyed more and it has great music as well.

Group Therapy (2004) (V)
1 out of 1 people found the following review useful:
Soft core (but barely) porn, 30 May 2012
5/10

This title recounts a twelve step style sexual dysfunction group where each attendee assumes an alias based on what they believe their sexual dysfunction is. The acting is one step up from porn and bears a strong resemblance to that media.

One of the attendees is a guy who goes by the name of exhibitionist. He's got a nice body and his voice over scene involves him stripping for an art class and then fondling himself. What's strange is that while he remains limp throughout, he talks about getting an erection. Then while its clear that he's shaved down below he talks about showing his pubes.

Yet another of the attendees goes by the name Solo Sex and claims that he's an inveterate "do it yourselfer," unable to get excited by other naked men. That is apparently NOT the case when "thrill-seeker" visits for a one on one scene.

This video is what it is and doesn't make a lot of bones about it. It's certainly not the hottest sex tape I've ever seen, but it does approach the subject from a slightly different angle. Best watched at fast forward though...


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