Reviews written by registered user
MIKE-1280

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24 reviews in total 
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Chef (2014)
43 out of 108 people found the following review useful:
Overlong and overdone, 17 June 2014
2/10

I found there was not enough content in this film to keep it going for the 2 hours and 9 minutes it dragged on for.

From the start it was fast paced but so much so the characters seemed to talk over each other, or was it the constant loud Latin music which stopped me from hearing much of the dialogue.

And then it flagged for a good half hour or more when nothing much happened, I had a hard time staying awake through this part or was I just trying to avoid the "noise" of the soundtrack and dialogue?

The last part of the movie did get going again but it never really lifted enough to make it worth the effort of staying awake.

Fix the 2 main faults : garbled dialogue and overpowering music, cut a half hour out of the middle and it would probably have been a very passable B grade movie.

Having said all that, my wife really enjoyed it, although she too thought it over long. S there you are

2 out of 6 people found the following review useful:
overemotive direction, 13 February 2013
3/10

The one thing this film really needed was a connection with the family. I just didn't feel it at all. I just didn't care. Someone else who reviewed this film suggested it was 'white-centric' and you could be forgiven for thinking this. Of course if it had been made by thais about thais the audience would be non existent outside asia. As it is they changed the nationality of the original family from Spanish to English probably for the same reason; but we should expect this and go with it.

No, the real problem is I just didn't care about the family, especially the way over the top hysterics of Ewan McGregor. The thing that pulled this movie up from 1 to 3 for me was the children, especially 'Luke'. In a glib by the book TV movie format they were surprisingly natural and Luke was the only actor who showed any real talent and grew with the story.

Overall this was a poor trivialisation of an horrific tragedy.

41 out of 77 people found the following review useful:
Les Miserables est tres miserable, 8 January 2013
1/10

I don't regret much in my life. I've done lots of things I would rather not have done but at least can say it was an experience and I've learned something.

Last night I watched Les Miserables and it was a dire experience from opening ridiculously over the top scene to the drawn out (for god's sake just die!!) scene at the end. I came out thinking "i've just lost two hours of my life that I'll never get back.

If just one of the actors could sing it would have been some blessed relief but apart from he chorus there wasn't a single a single redeeming voice in the cast. Where is Susan Boyle when you need her ?

From Hugh Jackmans wondering accents to the little boy on the barricades doing his artful dodger impression and Amanda Sefreid warbling like an anaemic canary this "musical" was a travesty.

Surely when you are casting a musical the requisite should be for singers who can maybe act and not actors who think they have a bit of a singing voice in the shower.

Les Mis is my favourite all time musical but no-one in there wildest dreams would consider buying the sound track to this hack job.

To be fair my wife said it was OK but even she got bored towards the end and there were a few boxes of hankies being used around me but it wouldn't do if we were all the same , would it.

10 out of 27 people found the following review useful:
How bad can a film get, 9 May 2004
1/10

Eternal is the length of time this film appears to be. Sunshine is what you will yearn to be in after about 20 minutes. Spotless = brainless. Mind....less is what the film is. To be fair someone had an interesting idea for a story and if a university film club had mad this into a 20 minute short it would have been a good movie. Unfortunately repeating the same thing over and over only highlights the fact that they had nowhere else to go with the story. If , after 20 or 30 minutes into the film, you get the urge to get up and walk out then do it; you won't miss anything. Acting? Can't fault the acting. All the characters were well presented and didn't fluff their lines at all but unfortunately that doesn't help with an endlessly repetetive story where the plot is broadcast fairly early on...or maybe me and my wife just missed something somewhere. I 'enjoyed' Monster and that wasn't an easy film to watch! This film is a monster of the worst kind. 1 out of 10

14 out of 27 people found the following review useful:
Title must refer to the brain of the director, 11 March 2004
1/10

I went to see this film on the recommendation of several reviews and the word of a friend who had seen it. Did they see the same film that I saw....I dont think so! This film contrives to make us believe that if we pile one act of stupidity onto another in layers to thick to believe then the audience must have some sympathy with at least some of the characters. There is no room for sympathy with any of the characters. The performances of the actors are irrelevent as the storyline is so puerile no amount of acting could make it anything close to believable. Are there people out there that do these kind of things? I fear the answer may be yes but you wouldn't want to know them or even read about them let alone go and see a movie about them. Can I give it 0 out of 10?

0 out of 1 people found the following review useful:
Worst since Lazenby, 18 December 2002
5/10

I love Bond movies and have only been disappointed twice in, gosh, is it really 40 years? What really lets this film down is not the actors but the direction. Abominable opening music, long slow stretches, very poor computer graphics, and too much double entendre. Yes that is part of what Bond is all about but this film had just too much...or was it the stilted pace that made it more noticeable. I actually liked the pairing of Brosnan and Berry but unless the direction gets better Bond certainly will die, if not today then certainly another day not far off.

How could episode 2 be worse than episode 1?, 5 June 2002
5/10

Let me count the ways! Episode 1 got bogged down with politics and not enough action. Episode 2 which should have learned the lesson from 1 boosted the action,certainly, but threw in a lacklustre romance between, unfortunately, lacklustre actors. It says something when c3po and r2d2 were the highlights of the movie providing welcome comic relief from the tedium of the stodgy storyline and acting. After some thought I have decided that what this film really lacked was a Harrisson Ford and a Wookie. All the action and special effects come to nought unless there is a larger than life hero to hold our focus and give the rest of the film some scale. None of the actors had what was necessary to carry this off. I don't know whether I could take the dissappointment I know is waiting in the next and hopefully final episode.

only 85 minutes ..thankfully, 1 February 2002
3/10

This film gets off to a poor start because of it's incredible unbelievability ;which admittedly is not always a problem in movies but none of the actors have what it takes to overcome this problem. What we needed was a Sandra Bullock who shines in romantic comedy. This movie went from a shaky start to a poor middle and apart from a good comic performance by Eugene Levy as a store clerk there was no relief in sight. It's a pity Mr Levy, who co-wrote this script, couldn't make some more sympathetic characters. I believe John Cusack could be a fine romantic comedy actor. He has just been let down too often by bad scripts and unsuitable co-stars.

3 out of 10 .

Monkeybone (2001)
2 out of 3 people found the following review useful:
Nightmare of a film YAAAAWN, 14 January 2002
1/10

I gave this film up to the point where the main character woke up with the wrong persona. Sorry if it got better after that but I couldn't stay awake. To me the film was just like one of those inane video games the kids play with lots of movement but not going anywhere. This is the first Brendan Fraser dog....sorry Monkey.

It just doesn't get any better than this, 14 January 2002
10/10

When I was a child I remember listening to the serialised story on BBC radio and was enthralled. In my imagination I could picture all the characters and locations vividly. Years later the same happened when I read the book. I came to the movie with a little trepidation because it is so easy to be disappointed when you have such strong preconceptions. I was so stunned to see that somebody else must have had exactly the same 'vision' as me because I couldn't tell you one thing that I would have changed...maybe the 'monsters' were a little scarier but the dark riders in particular took me right back to my childhood kitchen with the open fire my mother cooking while I listened to the story on the radio... What pleased me above all was the reaction of the audience. It is a long time since I have heared so many gasps, sighs, cheers and just total absorption by people of all ages but especially the usually so cynical teenagers. Maybe they should make Tolkien compulsory reading in schools.


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