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Old Crow-2

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71 reviews in total 
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Catwoman (2004)
1 out of 3 people found the following review useful:
Well, it was quite stupid..., 21 January 2005
4/10

"Catwoman" is one of those movies which have such a bad reputation that you just have to watch them to see how bad they really are. To be honest I didn't find this "piece of cat litter" that horrible (After all, I gave it four out of ten), but it is very disappointing considering the people who worked on it.

"Vidocq", the previous film by Pitof, was quite a refreshing piece of old-fashioned mystery and thriller. Above all else, it was visually stunning and very vibrant. "Catwoman" also looks very sleek, but there just isn't enough substance. The whole plot is ridiculous and so simple it could've been written by school kids (Halle's transformation into Catwoman doesn't make much sense). On the performance side there's not much to say either. I think Halle is a fine actress, but here she just mews stupid one-liners like "Cat got your tongue?" (for some reason she reminds me of Arnold in "Batman & Robin"... weird, I know). And her controversial dress, well, let's just say Michelle Pfeiffer did it better in 1992. Sharon Stone, another okay actress when given proper material, goes totally over-the-top which is not a good thing, at least not in this case.

I would say "Catwoman" is worth just a rental, it isn't the most horrible film in the world but it certainly isn't good either. For a better "Catwoman" experience get "Batman Returns" with Michelle Pfeiffer.

2 out of 11 people found the following review useful:
Simply disgusting and beyond stupid., 19 October 2004
1/10

I was warned before watching this movie, but nothing could prepare me for this kind of an "experience". Never have I seen anything so disturbing or disgusting in my entire life. One of the worst "movies" I have ever seen. I did laugh, but after the film I had a really horrible feeling. The first thing I wanted to do afterwards? Watch "Finding Nemo".

It's scary that some people actually enjoyed this film. Maybe this was supposed to be a comedy, but was all that gore really necessary? And why was that stupid kid everywhere, they should've killed him. And the final fight with the warden... I thought the movie couldn't possibly get any worse, but it did.

There should be laws against this film and I'm sure there are, at least in the sensible countries of this crazy world.

Big Fish (2003)
Most directors will tell you stories straight through. It won't be complicated, but it won't be interesting either., 22 June 2004
10/10

Think about all the directors in Hollywood. How many truly unique talents are there? Not many, I'd say. And how many directors actually have a recognizable style? Even fewer. Steven Spielberg, Quentin Tarantino, the Coen Brothers, the ZAZ team... Those are the names that come to my mind. But there's one person who rises above all the others, and that man is Tim Burton.

I have been a fan of Tim Burton's work for a long time. I've seen all of his full-length movies expect "Pee-Wee's Big Adventure" and the only one that doesn't really feel like a Burton flick is the watchable-yet-disappointing "The Planet Of The Apes". It was okay for a summer blockbuster, but it lacked that special Burton magic. All the other movies of his are as Burtonesque as they could possibly be. I even like "Mars Attacks!" a lot which is a movie Burton fans either seem to love or hate. It's hard to name my favorite of Burton's productions, they are all quite different in spite of having the magical Burton touch. In Tim's movies fantasy meets reality and the results are like fairy tales with dark undertones. "Ed Wood" is Tim's most realistic film to date, but it also manages to be more than just a typical biography movie. It might have been shot black-and-white, but it's definitely one of, if not the most, colorful story about a life of a person who actually existed.

When I first read about "Big Fish" I was a little skeptical because I thought it would be a typical family drama. But thank God it was Tim Burton who was directing it. All my doubts disappeared when I saw the trailer for the film. Having seen the film itself I'd say that the trailer is actually one of the best I've ever seen.

It's really refreshing to see a movie which is sad, funny, touching and heart-warming at the same time. I don't think the film ever turns into a tear-jerker as the "realistic" parts of the film are very life-like. And in the hands of a bland director the "fantasy" parts could've become a real mess. But with Burton at the helm, we are treated to his greatest hits. We get weird and captivating characters (witches, Siamese twins, also a werewolf...), stunning images and colors, Danny Elfman's gorgeous score, the exactly right amount of humor and those wild stories. The stories Ed Bloom tells might not be 100% true, but they sure are entertaining!

And the cast... Tim Burton once again got a great team to work with. The main players are Albert Finney and Ewan McGregor who are both outstanding and worth at least a few awards. Smaller roles are played by Billy Crudup, Jessica Lange, Alison Lohman, Steve Buscemi, Danny DeVito and Helena Bonham-Carter. Their roles might be small, but they all contribute something special to the story. Many people have complained about Jessica Lange being wasted in such a small role. I don't think she was wasted at all. The most beautiful scene of the film has Sandra Bloom getting into a bathtub fully-clothed with her dying husband and only a few words are spoken during this scene. More dialog is not needed as the two highly talented actors show what they are capable of.

"Big Fish" is a movie that will definitely become a Burton classic. It would have deserved bigger box office grosses, but as one reviewer put it, the movie will more likely become more popular on small screen and gain more and more popularity over the years. It's a bit sad that people spend so much money on totally forgettable "entertainment" and let true jewels like "Big Fish" pass by. On the other hand, those brainless productions will be forgotten in a blink of an eye while the gems will live on. Just like Edward Bloom's stories in the movie.

Full points. It's a classic.

1 out of 2 people found the following review useful:
A "horror" sequel that doesn´t even have any sex (involving the blond bimbo)! Shame on you, film makers!, 10 January 2004
2/10

I´ve seen the original Candyman once and it was quite an effective horror movie that seems to be regarded as a modern horror classic. I have not seen the first sequel and I have no intention whatsoever to even think about renting it. Maybe they´ll show it on TV and I can catch it if I don´t have anything better to do.

Candyman 3... The third part in a horror series can´t be that good (the only exception being Scream 3), it just can´t. To be honest, the only reason why I bothered to watch this movie was that I was sure they would show the leading lady naked at some point. At least in teen horror flicks you get to see naked ladies. Well, we do get some breasts, but they don´t belong to the main lady. I kept waiting and waiting till the very end and what did I get? NOTHING! Instead of some skin the people who most likely accidentally ended up seeing the movie got a stupid brainless movie with mediocre-at-best performances and hilarious one-liners. If it´s blood that you want then check this one because there´ll be lots of it.

I´m sure everyone who was involved in this production is proud of this piece of crap. It must look so good on one´s résumé. How come people accept roles in movies like this? Why???? Why do people write garbage like this???? I wish I knew...

Magnolia (1999)
0 out of 1 people found the following review useful:
If you think your life is miserable..., 9 January 2004
9/10

Being a movie fan I had read quite a lot about Magnolia before actually seeing it. Watching a movie that´s 180 minutes long didn´t interest me that much so I decided to wait and see the film when I felt like it. Sometime ago the movie was shown on TV and I got a chance to see whether the movie´s worth all the praises and awards given to it. I missed a few minutes of the movie because I just can´t watch a 180-minute movie without any breaks. Nonetheless, the movie itself was superb. Sure, it was long, but in the end it didn´t actually feel like a long movie. Magnolia is a real character-driven movie with every person somehow related to the big picture. Every cast member deserves nothing but praises as all the characters must have been very hard to play. Julianne Moore especially stands out, I think the scene in which she loses her temper in the drug store is absolutely amazing. She is a very versatile actress capable of doing all kinds of genres. I have never seen her in a better movie! You also get to see Tom Cruise in quite an unusual role. Tom might be considered more a "pretty face" than an actual actor, but in Magnolia he shows what he can do. Magnolia is worth all the hype. It´s an emotional story about people with quite a lot of problems. It´s not a feel-good movie and not the movie to be watched when in need of cheering-up. But when you want to see real film-making at its best Magnolia is the movie to turn to.

Sometimes the good ones just go unnoticed..., 9 January 2004
8/10

If I go to see a movie in a theater it has to be a really special movie. Either it´s the kind of a movie that has to be seen on big screen or it´s just an other kind of an "event" (critically-acclaimed, award-winning etc.). I prefer watching dramas and "real-life" stories on small screen. But still I find it surprising that only few people went to see Wonder Boys during its theatrical run. I watched Wonder Boys on DVD a few days ago and it was a pure gem of a movie. I had read tons of positive reviews and since my friend had bought the disc I figured it had to be at least watchable. I have nothing against dumb big-budget blockbusters, but you miss a lot if you watch just those kind of movies. In movies like Wonder Boys the stage belongs to the cast and the story. Michael Douglas is without a doubt one of the most talented actors working in Hollywood. He can do drama, comedy (Romancing The Stone, The War Of The Roses) and thriller (A Perfect Murder, Disclosure, The Game). Frances McDormand, who has fantastic in Fargo, impresses as well, and so does everybody else. And if you thought Tobey Maguire was good in the overrated Spider-Man be sure to check Wonder Boys. Wonder Boys is a successful mixture of real life drama and comedy and it certainly deserves multiple viewings. Highly recommended.

76 out of 93 people found the following review useful:
A classy piece of work, 9 January 2004
8/10

Forget all the explosions, car chases, crazy villains, special effects... The Thomas Crown Affair is not an action movie. It´s not even a thriller. Instead, it´s a well-done cat-and-mouse movie that´s smart, entertaining and very sexy. If you had to use one word to describe the film it would have to be sophisticated. The movie might appeal more to mature audiences as both the leading man and the leading lady are over 40 years old. Pierce Brosnan can obviously do other roles beside James Bond, but the role of Thomas Crown is at least somewhat similar to 007. Both guys "enjoy women" and are very suave. Overall, Brosnan gives a solid performance and is overshadowed only by Rene Russo who simply oozes sexuality and class. She is simply perfect in her role and though she´s twice as old as I am I find her a real knockout. Not only is she extremely hot, but also a very talented and charismatic actress. A perfect combination! The classy dance scene between Brosnan and Russo belongs to the most sexually-charged scenes in history and the following love-making scene manages to be both sexy and stylish. Usually nude scenes in Hollywood movies seem somehow "uneasy", but in this movie the scene is done in real style and with sensual music the atmosphere is sizzling. Who would want a disposable bimbo like Britney Spears when you could have a real class-act woman like Rene Russo? I would also like to mention Bill Conti whose simple yet refined music is simply outstanding. Just listen to the music during the scene in which Crown and Banning go glider flying... You can just close your eyes and listen to this wonderful music. Now I have to find the soundtrack for this film! I guess I should mention that I´ve never seen the original Thomas Crown, but now I don´t even have to bother as its updated version is a true pleasure to watch. I have nothing negative to say about it so just go get this film on DVD and enjoy!

1 out of 1 people found the following review useful:
It´s not the Sixth Sense, but it does come close, 9 January 2004
7/10

M. Night Shyamalan´s The Sixth Sense was a quite impressive piece of psychological suspense. I saw it in a theater and the end really caught me, and everybody else, offguard. Next Shyamalan did Unbreakable and then my favorite of these three movies, Signs. Unbreakable is an above-average thriller/drama, but still I find it somewhat weaker than the Sixth Sense or Signs. And in this case "weaker" isn´t a huge drawback as Unbreakable would still beat 90% of all the so-called psychological thrillers coming out of Hollywood every other second. Only few films manage to create heavy atmospheres and suspenseful moments and even fewer films have talented actors. Bruce Willis might not the greatest actor in Hollywood, but he knows how to do his job well. Samuel L. Jackson is also a very reliable actor and I´m sure that the fact that these two men were both in the third Die Hard movie helped to create the chemistry necessary for movies like this. Unbreakable is a solid dark thriller, but not as good as Signs or The Sixth Sense. I watched this movie dubbed in German (don´t ask me why...) so I might have missed some more or less important points... Oh well.

"Seinfeld" (1989)
6 out of 11 people found the following review useful:
A show about nothing is really something!, 9 January 2004

America is the home of sitcoms. Some of them are good, most of them are terrible. I´ve never liked those stupid laugh tracks, I´ve always thought that they are there just for passive American viewers who can´t tell good jokes from bad ones. Those brainless consumers of television entertainment need to be told when the stuff they´re watching is "funny". In some other parts of the world people recognize the funny bits without any help. I know laugh tracks are used in the UK as well, but compared to the American sitcoms British productions are usually a lot better and more unique. The laugh tracks don´t bother that much when the sitcom´s actually a very good one, but there are just very few American sitcoms worth watching: Seinfeld, Just Shoot Me, The 3rd Rock From The Sun, Frasier... Seinfeld is a pure pleasure to watch. It´s a perfect combination of original storylines (about nothing...), hilarious characters and unforgettable vocabulary. Elaine and Gorge are the best characters; other memorable people are George´s parents (you gotta love them!), Newman, Soup Nazi, Peterman... the list just goes on! Every single episode has moments you can´t forget. Remember Festivus? Bubble boy? How about the phrase "yada yada yada"? These are just few examples of Seinfeld´s superiority. The show really is about nothing and the plot of an episode might be all about a fungus cream or being lost in a parking lot. Seinfeld manages to turn all kinds of subjects into comedic masterpieces. Seinfeld is the Number One of all sitcoms. It´s simply sensational. The show ended a few years ago, but re-runs are still shown all over the world (thank God!). Like many others I´m eagerly waiting for the DVD release of all the seasons. Believe it or not, you can watch Seinfeld episodes over and over again and they never get boring!

0 out of 1 people found the following review useful:
English, Johnny English., 9 January 2004
6/10

I love Mr. Bean. The TV show was hilarious and so was the movie. I saw the movie twice in 1997 and I can´t remember any other audiences laughing as hard as back then. In fact, Bean was one of the biggest, if not the biggest, box office hit of 1997 in Finland.

Now Rowan Atkinson is back and this time he´s playing Johnny English. When I saw the teaser for this movie I knew this was one film not to be missed, Rowan Atkinson being one of the best comedians in the world. When the movie premiered a few weeks ago I read some lukewarm reviews and started thinking if the movie was worth seeing after all. Finally I decided to catch Johnny English during its theater run.

First I have to say that I´ve never been to a movie that equally attracts kids, teens and adults. All these groups were well represented in the showing. That alone tells something about the popularity of Rowan Atkinson. Did I like the movie? Yes, I did. Was it perfect? No, it wasn´t. It wasn´t as funny as Bean, but on the other hand this isn´t Bean. The movie had plenty of hilarious scenes and Rowan Atkinson played his part very well. I have actually just two complaints: 1) Poo jokes are not funny (unless you are 5 years old), and 2) one joke/scene was stolen from the Naked Gun 2½. Other than that there are no other major flaws. This isn´t the most original movie out there and as a Bond parody it´s still below the Austin Powers trilogy (at least the first two movies), but if you went to see this expecting Oscar material you must have been out of your mind. These movies are meant to make you relax and laugh, not to make you think about the problems of our lives. And as brainless entertainment Johnny English doesn´t fail. Johnny English is actually the only hilarious character in the movie, all the others are more or less "serious" characters. John Malkovich obviously has lots of fun with his role and French accent, but they could´ve written more jokes for him too. Natalia Imbruglia won´t get any major awards for her performance, but she´s still better than one might expect. I´d recommend Johnny English to all of you who enjoyed the Bean movie. If you don´t even like Rowan Atkinson don´t go see this.


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