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crazy-23

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16 reviews in total 
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Men of War (1994)
3 out of 3 people found the following review useful:
Excellent movie for an opposite of Rambo, 20 February 2000

This is a really good story similar to Rambo or even Chuck Norris in Missing in Action being called to do some work in a foreign country. Only this time, he's hired to be the bad guy; they want him to go and nuke a village so they can have the land for mining. After sleeping with Charlotte Lewis (native girl) Nick decides not to nuke the village and to protect the people from the bloodthirsty miners. His group is split in half between those who will join him and those who will leave and fight with the miners against him. Good action in this movie combined with some nice on location native scenery and native people. Very enjoyable. Charlotte Lewis even flashes her wonderful large ripe all natural breasts a few times. Wow!!! She is a looker! Damn!!!

Bare Essentials (1991) (TV)
10 out of 14 people found the following review useful:
Cool island movie to relax anyone!, 19 February 2000

This movie deserves a 10 out of 10. It's totally funny, very sexy, and entirely enjoyable. Stressed out Gordon and sexy Sydney (played by Lisa Hartman) are on vacation and rent a sale boat. After unwinding under Sydney's sudden urges, the two wake up to find they are lost. They soon crash on an uninhabited tropical island only to find out that Bill, a former New York stockbroker, lives on the island. Bill takes Sydney out on some nature walks around the island and they hit it off real well…actually too well. I laughed so much watching Gordon in all his frustration. After spending the day chopping down a ‘shrub' in his determination to make a boat and get back to civilization, he completely looses it when Bill tells him it won't float. While his girlfriend is off with Bill, Gordon meets Tarita (played by Charlotte Lewis). For a TV movie I was surprised to see almost full exposure of her breasts. Coming up out of the water to meet Gordon for the first time, there is only a very thin strand of wet hair blocking her nipples. The rest of her wonderfully huge natural mounds are just gushing out around and clearly visible. So she gives Gordon's aching muscles a massage straddling his back – oh damn those beautiful globes are again just barely concealing her nipples! By the time the four of them meet up in the later afternoon, they've all switched partners. Bill is too drained and not in the mood for sex with his lovely islander girlfriend Tarita. To make a long story short, Bill loosens up and enjoys island life while Bill reconsiders a more financially profitable career to support his new girlfriend. This movie really got me hooked on Charlotte Lewis. She is a gorgeous babe and quite a hunk of ass! Enjoy this movie – I sure did!!!

Dial: Help (1988)
2 out of 2 people found the following review useful:
terrible!, 19 February 2000

What a sales gimmick! This is certainly not an erotic thriller. There is a fraction of a second nipple flash at best, and this is while….being seduced by….her possessed TELEPHONE! She spends the entire movie running around screaming and terrified by eerie sounds on possessed telephones around the city. Through the stupid chaos of telephone cords attacking people, fish dying from telephone squeals, and quarters shot out of a pay phone killing a guy, this movie should have been placed in the low budget horror section. It doesn't earn the title thriller or erotic in the least! For a better movie with Charlotte Lewis see Bare Essentials instead.

16 out of 21 people found the following review useful:
Nice guy saves the day in one of his better films, 17 February 2000

Escaped from prison, Van Damme camps out near a widow's home in the woods.

Sure there's some action in the movie with quite a number of punch 'em outs but the movie really should have been in the drama section, not the action section of rental stores. This is quite a change for Van Damme as he becomes a father to the fatherless, nice guy, gentleman, and town savior.

So the story was really good and damn Van Damme did a good job at his nice guy part. The funniest part is when he and the boy go into town for motorcyle parts and the sherrif dude asks him questions. Listen to how Van Damme pronounces 'motercycle' and 'Quepec'.

1 out of 4 people found the following review useful:
could be better, 4 February 2000

Amber Smith explodes on the scene and seduces law student. After a wild one night stand, his roommate cautions him to be careful because striper girl Smith may have other motives. After the three are grown up and out of law school, her husband is murdered. She goes back to former boyfriend, now top lawyer, for help. The film goes down hill from here when the three friends are supposedly older. Their previously fair acting starts becomes terrible. The lawyer guy, former geek law student, becomes a cool arrogant pin head who takes his sunglasses off in this fonny 'i'm cool air' about 100 times everytime he enters a room - pathetic! Come on, what happened here! Give me a break! And the police guy who helps him out also has this cocky sort of dumb attitude as if just given his lines a few minutes before shooting and 'why are you bothering me' attitude. And Amber, well she has two very brief topless shots and thats about it. The movie started off good but just went on a death spiral in to never land.

8 out of 9 people found the following review useful:
My favorite softcore movie, 13 January 2000

A guy rivals the sexual exploits his son is having when he strays from his wife into an affair with one of his new customers. He soon finds out that her party lifestyle and her lesbian girlfriend are too much for him. With a wife as beautiful as Tamera Landry how could he even think about cheating! But when the other woman is as young, hot, and sexy as Kim Brunette (also known as Veronica Cash), even this stud falls victim to her charm. This movie is one of my favorites along with "Friend of the Family" and "Masseuse". What I like most about this movie though, besides the gorgeously nude women, is that the guy eventually comes to his senses and learns a lesson. His son helps him with my favorite quote "Dad, it's New Years Eve. What are you doing here? Why aren't you home with mom?"

Kim Brunette is a real looker. I just have to say this babe has the most perfect face and hair.

The sex and nudity in the Unrated-Version is simply pulsating! This hot erotic throbber pushes for the X-rating in my opinion! As you might have guessed, the UR-version contains all the simulated sex and some female nudity that was cut to make the R-rated version.

4 out of 4 people found the following review useful:
Any guy can relate to the feeling, 10 January 2000

But not all guys would 'hire' a date just to show off. I mean, why fake it? I did really enjoy the movie however. The escort, Rochelle Swanson, is one of my all time favorite actresses and she does her nude scenes well in this film. Another actress to look out for, and new to the movie industry from Playboy is Tricia Lee Pascoe. She is very hot! To bad her breasts have to be those typical implants so common nowdays. But what the hell, she's beautiful! Good story line, good acting, and hot girls!

1 out of 2 people found the following review useful:
Wow!!!, 9 January 2000

This movie is simply Verhoeven's excuse to make a soft porn flick. In his interview he mentioned that the major sex scene was "actually a thriller scene disguised as a sex scene". What? I'm I missing something here! No, it is a sex scene disguised as a sex scene - a soft porn scene that used two of Hollywood's mainstream stars and wrecked their careers as legitimate movie stars. Years after the film was released, Sharon Stone was interviewed and claimed that her sex life was terrible (actually non-existant) for many years after the film Basic Instinct. Was the film done well? Fantastic! Was there lots of nudity and sex? You bet! Basic Instinct does have a good story going for it. In fact, it is rare that Hollywood would make a movie has hot porno action, good acting, and an excellent story line, and all at the same time! The movie was such a good mystery that no one could figure out who the murderer was even after the movie ended..hmmm It's clear in my mind - but that was only after listening to Verhoeven's explaination of what he was trying to do with the movie. I have nothing against Sharon Stone's wonderfully nude body - she's hot! But the movie is not what it was cracked up to be, and it gave a few legitimate mainstream actors/actresses a bad reputation as 'soft' porn stars. What a disappointment...

Give me a break!, 5 January 2000

This movie is horrible. I laughed so hard while reading klatsdrawkcab's review (perfectly stated and good review) but not as hard as I laughed watching this movie. The only thing the producers actually did right was to bring back the Brody family. Jaws, now a 'family' of evil possessed sharks, are bent on killing everyone in the Brody family and evidently just won't stop until the job is done. Anyhow, it was good to see Mrs. Brody back in this film, much older now, from the first two Jaws movies.

But I just hated the fake shark! And this movie more than either of the first two movies showed so many extended shots of it. Why show something that sucks and is going to take away from the suspense (see my review of Jaws II for more on this).

The picture is clearer in this movie than in the others - because it was done the most recent.

The Brody boy is all grown up in this movie. He's afraid of sharks since he was terrorised as a kid by one in the second movie. The movie shouldn't have spent so much time with his psychological problems with sharks - I really miss the strong roll Roy Scheider had in killing the shark in the first two movies. He wasn't afraid of it and wimp out every time the shark got near!

Jaws 2 (1978)
Superbly great movie, 5 January 2000

Chief Brody has another problem in this second Jaws movie, and he's the only one who has that sick sense, which no one else can identify with, that a shark is cause of many recent deaths and disappearances. But the story goes deeper than this. It is more person for the Brody family. Like the common theme in a lot of horror movies, this evil predator has targeted a specific location and specific individuals, namely the Brody family.

Considering the 70's when the movie was filmed, the movie was really well done. The picture is not as good as in Jaws the Revenge, but the special effects are comparable. Granted the shark is sort of fake looking; the first Jaws movie did a better job with this because they keep the shark concealed most of the time. The fear of a creature that camera doesn't let us see can be intensely horrific!

This Jaws movie highlights Roy Scheider's last performance in a Jaws movie. He is really good for the Captain Brody part - but quite stupid to go shooting his gun off at the beach and chasing everyone away. He's got the sternness, a little to much in fact, that makes his character very believable. I wish that he'd been in the third and fouth Jaws movies as well. He's really the idea person to kill the shark. In my opinion that's the reason Jaws 3-D failed.

So long Roy Scheider -


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