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CLEAR! CLEAR! CLEAR! Sadly even Dr Cullen's best efforts could not save this awful addition to the Twilight Saga... And also the Voilturi do NOT approve!
Even as a devoted Twilight fan I was DISGUSTED by this movie. It was rushed in both parts, they had more than enough time. What happened to Alice's fashion sense? Bella showed an awful dress in her lovely cottage and said Alice picked it out. I thought Alice was supposed to have a good fashion sense. This was forgivable, however the atrocious ending was not. I hated AWFUL the fight scene. It ruined the Twilight movies completely. Devastated at how they portrayed Aro, making him so evil. Take him OUT of that godawful, hideous military uniform. Rigid, ugly and mechanical. Aro's supposed to be elegant and flowing. Put him in something sinister, yet elegant, like a black waistcoat with a silver dragon, or silver and gold snakes. Did Summit actually *read* the books? They also ignored the canon that Alice can't see the future when it involves the wolves.
Carlisle and Alice were portrayed badly. Alice can see the future and would *know* bashing Aro into the air would not make him a happy camper. Carlisle would *know* attacking the Volturi would spell disaster and way out of character. That said, I still adore the actors. There's only so much fantastic actors can do with awful, stupid scripts. The characters were written into a corner. The Cullens and Volturi are my favourite Twi teams so I'm 'Team Switzerland!' They were portrayed two-dimensionally. Stephenie Meyer wrote deep, meaningful, complex and insightful characters. I hated how they were squished into black and white Hollywood molds of good VS evil. I have never felt so betrayed in my life. When I saw Stephenie's name in big letters as producer, I felt relief that the movie won't be wrecked. So much for that. The Volturi are antagonists, rather than 'bad guys.' Stephenie even admitted later, the battle was too one sided and unrealistic that mostly the Volturi died. Why wasn't this amended in the script writing phase? Fans deserved a way better movie.
Edward and Bella seemed flat in the fight scene. In the book, Bella came into her own, realising her powers without resorting to violence. The saga revolves around Edward and Bella, whom I adore, but that does not mean the other characters have to be ruined especially when that severely deviated with how they were written. In the book it was *Cauis* who smiled when the Denali coven's mother and immortal child were killed, *not* Aro. In the book, Caius wanted the others killed. Aro declared they were innocent and spared them. This scene was conveniently omitted from the movie, making it easy, lazy and convenient to make Aro the bad guy. I was also upset to see very little of Carlisle. I especially wanted to see the scenes with him rousing Edward and the scene at the end where he was even prepared to forgive Aro. I adore Carlisle as he's so sweet and kind and Aro as he's so peppy and when I saw a poster of him from 'New Moon', those deep red eyes, I fell in love with him because he needed love.
The 'fight/vision' scene was an interesting twist, however to stay truer to the book, it should have been Caius who started it as he wanted to in the book, attempting to spark the other side off by killing Irina. This would've been another twist as the others are waiting for Aro to start something and it's Caius who shocks everyone (including Aro!) If Hollywood *had* to have a fight, it would have been better if Aro had tried to stop it and in the end being the only one who survives, perhaps with his body guard Renata and learns something about how to use his power wisely and relieved it was a vision! The fight scene made me sick, numb, betrayed and powerless. Portraying Aro way more crazy and evil is not a good thing for those suffering from mental challenges as it only serves to spread the fear that we're all violent psychos, which is not the case. Things like that increase being hurt physically and emotionally and finding it even harder to be accepted in society. My Aspergers has been a challenge as well as a blessing and has definitely made my life very interesting and very painful and I don't want to go around harming people. It makes me more insightful and open-minded and I would not trade those special insights for the world. If anything people like Aro, who in real life, are like frightened children who need nurture, love and understanding. This move hurt me so much and so deeply, it's been very hard to write about it and post until now.
I'd love to have the money to remake that scene into something that is much truer to the books, much deeper and more meaningful. I am envisioning Summit re-thinking that movie and be a forerunner in Hollywood for breaking that typical mold. Perhaps they can re-release the entire Twilight Saga at the movies with extra footage and do it as a huge charity drive.
They did a good job with the other movies and the costumes (bar some of the *awful* things they had Bella in like her birthday dress and prom outfit) I just wish with all my heart and soul that they had not ruined the entire saga with how they cheapened the charters and made the ending very clichéd in BD2. I loved the scene where Renesmee touched Aro's face and he softened and we saw a gentler side to him.
And yes that awful military suit made Aro look fat ;) A least I still have my sense of humour after all this... Yes, Aro knows I tease him. As long as it's meant in fun, You're allowed to tease the ones you love. That's the Law. Even Caius will tell you that ;)
The Gods are ANGRY. Very Angry Especially Prometheus.
It is told in the ancient legends that the Greek Titan Prometheus gave mortals fire (and was punished by Zeus.) Perhaps Prometheus can once again light a torch for humanity, but before he does so, place the torch near his titanic arse and let loose a thunderous fart on this travesty of his namesake.
Not for the first time I'm wising IMDb had negative stars. 1=awful. -10=GODawful. Don't you *hate* it when a preview looks interesting, then gets predictable and when you finally see said movie out of that spark of interest it turns out to be even more shite than you expected? Thy name was Prometheus. The movie, that is, not the Titan who thought having his liver pecked out every night was preferable to this stuffed turkey which pecked out his brain (someone also said that in their review about their own liver.) The movie soon went to Tartarus, then went further. Last seen heading rapidly even more south.
Perhaps that very same eagle or aliens ate Ridley's brain? Oh well they say you're not a director unless you've made at least one flop, 'cept this "soufflé" didn't just flop, it was burnt to a crisp and had to be put out with a fire hydrant (courtesy of Prometheus), set those accursed beeping smoke alarms off and stunk the house out for days.
Another reviewer mentioned a stab at Scientology. I'd believe that. If it'd starred Tom Cruise I would have checked out (or not checked in in the first place ) Good thing I hired it on DVD and like when I watched "Cloverfield" (another predictable godawful sci-fi travesty,) spent more quality time cutting out pictures for my vision board. And they promote the DVD had extras, sit through it AGAIN with a commentary?!?! *Squeals with laughter* A crying shame the whole damned moved wasn't a "deleted scene" or was that a goof? When I first started watching, I thought it was a pathetic Alien/Event Horizon rip-off, not a great prequel. The one redeeming thing was Fassbender was great as David and it was Liam Neeson I believe who said you're not an actor unless you've done one major flop. The movie's only other saving grace was it was a clear warning against biological weapons. The rest of the cast, wooden and boring and Noomi although pretty and an somewhat interesting and naive, but also boring character is a poor actress - some scenes she's supposed to be crying and she looks like she's giggling like a schoolgirl. And who runs about like a mad sale shopper after a Cesarean, even if it is set in the future with more advanced equipment? And poor Charlize? Her character was a b!tch, but surely didn't deserve that!! To see Pro-meep-theus had 120 pages of bad reviews at the time I wrote this, doesn't make me feel so bad. The fact it had 59 pages of good reviews is staggering to any intelligent life-form. And there's a SEQUEL I hear??!?! What the feck??!! You gotta be sh!ttin' me! What in all the worlds is sci-fi coming to? The real Prometheus has left the building! Sorry, but sometimes something must be said. This movie was an obvious, lame attempt to frighten people of "what's out there" and ooo! If we search for answers 'out there,' look what eeeevil, nasty horrors await us!! We'd better pick up our crosses, grab our bibles and go to church! The religious connotations may have been subtle for some, but for me, stuck out like bulldog balls.
Truth is, the unknown should always be approached with caution, but approached nonetheless as if it were not, we'd still think the Earth was flat and everything revolved around us. The church came up with those too Nuff said? (When the ancient Greeks, Egyptians and Celts knew the Earth was round (and according to 8000 years old Indian and Greek texts that we lived in a 9 planet solar system, though the planets were not named until much later and I doubt the Greeks would have had the hubris to debunk Pluto.) Exploring (our external and internal world) is how we learn and grow.
Perhaps almighty Zeus can send eagles to peck out the livers of the producers of this piece of primordial goop and give real writers and unfairly impoverished artists a chance to shine with their intelligent creative endeavours.
Sh!t, I've NaMoWriMo'd stuff heaps better than this! And have ideas for movies that leave this for dust!
***Save Camelot!!!*** *The* best show of Arthurian times I have ever seen and I'm not just saying that 'cuz Jamie Campbell Bower is awesome :) He's the reason I heard about the show from a Twilight list I'm on and was very interested to see it, at first mainly because of Jamie however I *adored* the show for its own sake. Gutsy, powerful and realistic. I felt for the characters and their plights.
Morgan was so much more than 2D as she has been portrayed in other Arthurian tales and that awful nun who made my skin crawl - (played so well by the way) portrayed wonderfully (albeit sadly) the church's sickening corruption and power-play of the dark ages.
Camelot was also feisty, funny, witty, modern, yet conveying an ancient, well-known tale. It was upbeat, cool, full-bodied (and not just for the sex scenes ;) The actors were all brilliant. I also adored Eva Green's 'wounded child' Morgan. The play between Leontes, Guenevere and Arthur was painful to watch (because it was played so well) though you knew it could only end in disaster. And Joseph Fiennes played the one of the coolest, gutsiest and realistic Merlins I have ever seen. I knew Jamie would be awesome and he was, playing the most heartfelt, gutsy, realistic and funny Arthur ever. Not to mention cutest ;) And I am looking very much forward to seeing him in other roles as well. Including a hopeful 2nd (and beyond) series of Camelot. His portrayal of Arthur proves how diverse he is, Arthur's loyal and caring, while his Twilight character Caius is caustic, stoic and hateful and Jamie plays him awesomely too. I wonder is Caius had a sword in the 5th century? ;) I guess the only thing that bummed me about the series was when Guenevere stood up for herself and said "I would rather die with a sword in my hand than waiting to be raped" and in the battle scene, she's attacked and screaming and has to be rescued, rather than being much more heroic like Éowyn from Lord of the Rings.
It upset me to hear of the series cancellation, seems the 'muggles' don't know what's good for them. I hope the series will get a reprise and not go the very sad way of the "Golden Compass" sequels, of which I am still having onto a shred of hope for. I guess I am so passionate about Camelot as I feel drawn to Arthurian times, I feel they are part of me. One of my prized possessions is a solid 4 ft Excalibur replica.
Perhaps that will convince the studio to continue with this amazing series? ;) ****For Camelot!!!****
Gilmore Girls (2000)
Cool, but too much of a good thing.
I've been wanting to watch this show for ages (though never did when it was on, various RL problems), as for ages as I haven't had the best relationship with my own mother. I wish she could have been more hip, open-minded and let me voice my opinions. Don't get me wrong, I love my mother, but some things she did to me I would not wish on anyone (who did not deserve it.) She was not quite as bad as Mrs Kim. I guess she was a cross between Emily & Mrs. Kim, although my mother's childhood was also not peachy and I did the best to cope and struggle for my freedom.
I liked the characters, the clothes Rory, Miss Patty & Lorelai (pretty name) wore although sometimes the dialogue, particularly in the latter series got a bit yappy and more-of-the-same Rory's yo-yo love life gave me a headache... I was major bummed that things didn't work out with her and Dean! And it seemed unrealistic that for 3 seasons Rory never even ran into Dean when she returned to Star's Hollow from Yale.
I liked the atmosphere of Star's Hollow, a nice place to visit, though being a lone starr like Luke, I value my privacy. I liked the Autumn festivals and that Hay Bale maze looked like awesome fun! I wanted to watch the series to see how it panned out, although by the end it seemed a bit drawn out, though it was a great show. In the end, I felt a lot like Rory, who missed out on her dream and had to deal with that and look elsewhere, as I am still trying to find someone to see worth in my own writing.
However, I am glad I stuck the series through, (My local library had all 7 series, yay!) though I thought it could have been tightened up a bit. I feel a bit 'Gilmored out' right now, but I'm glad I finally saw the show, learned about different people and how many of them were like me. I am a bit like Miss Patty (flamboyant and flowing), Lane (as I had to fight my own oppressive mother and be myself and like Luke (cranky with people and take no sh*t and always come through), like Paris, I too can be quite fierce! Like Lorelai (I'm hip and have cool clothes) and like Rory, I love to read and study interesting things and I LOVE to write!
So thanks for the series, Girls!
Rolling out for the last time. HAD it with Brainless Bay.
After the last two, I wasn't holding my breath for Dark of the Moon and just as well. Yet *again* Michael Bay falls short of what Transformers should be. It was never about the humans, it was the story of the Transformers. In Bay's movies the Transformers take a back seat. There's little or no character development and he still hasn't worked out what Transformers look or sound like. And Bay can't even get the characters right. No way is that sorry bucket of bolts Megatron and if Megatron was that decrepit, Starscream would have taken full advantage, blasted him and taken over. In the original G1, the Decepticons were not such ugly, chunky and messy robots and since when do Transformers slobber? Gross. In the original movie when Starscream died I bawled my eyes out and was upset for years. When Screamer bought it this time round I couldn't give a high flying frenzy. Bay is a greedy money making bozo who could not give a stuff about the fans or the characters we know and love. Where was Optimus Prime's compassion for all living things? Loved Megatron's 'Lawrence of Arabia look' Gods he was having a bad hair day. Where were the female Transformers who got an almost non existent cameo in Revenge of the Fallen? Carly spent most of her time being duped, running scared or running to her man. Very sexist. She had a few good lines with Megatron though. The only other woman with a big role was Mearing, a snotty, stuffed-shirt, full of herself bitch. The antics at Sam's workplace were beyond ridiculous. Only Bay with his brains in his nethers could have come up with such tripe. Simmons, a little better in this one is still a dweeb and the last line of the last Transformers movie is him?! What an insult!
It had an interesting premise, but as with the other two, fell short character wise. Bay's movies are bereft of the magic that Transformers once had. Gone is all the original charm. Well at least they called the girl Carly. But what I loved about Carly in the original series (despite not being in many episodes) was that she was not a supermodel and slightly dumpy, which made her real for me as I hardly looked like a supermodel either. In the original show she was also American (not that I have anything against the Brits - I'm half pom myself) but they should stick to the original, but then seeing how Bay's f---ed everything about Transformers that was special, I wasn't surprised. Bay's movies were noting but a huge let down and mega disappointment. In 2007 and 2009 I bought heaps of Transformer toys and merchandise, which I wish I hadn't. I was trying to re-live those childhood years where it brought me so much happiness and joy. That joy no longer exists with these new movies and it's very sad. This time around I only spent $15 on some TF office stationery and a box of TF chocolates and that was it. No point in lining Bay's already overloaded pockets. I certainly hope what goes around comes around for him for what he's done to Transformers. Sadly the younger generation do not know the original and therefore do not have a reference point to see how badly Bay has messed up Transformers. I really feel for them and for what Transformers has become thanks to Bay. And Spielberg should be ashamed of himself. Won't say that a-hole ruined my childhood (like I'll give that pathetic Earth Germ that much credit) I cherish my G1 moments. What I don't get is why Transformers movies couldn't be made this time round with the characters looking and sounding right, with good character development, heart and soul of the original and enough CG action to make it uber-exciting and an unforgettable Oscar winning epic like Lord of the Rings.
On a lighter and happier note, I hear Bay's been ousted by Hasbro and good f**ing riddance. Sad that Hasbro even hired that dorkus molorkus in the first place. Hopefully in the near future we will have a team of intelligent directors and writers that will write that epic that the Transformers and their loyal fans deserve.
Actually, over 10 years before Bay got his grubby, greedy, dirty little hands on Transformers, I had an idea for a live-action Transformers movie, but sadly didn't have the money, connections to contacts like he did :( Goes to show those who deserve to have money and power in this world, sad that many of us don't. Very sad. My story stayed true to the G1 characters, with much character development, an interesting story with many twists, turns, heart-stopping effects and action, (and a real looking Carly) coupled with much heart and soul which Bay lacks period. Sad as it would have shat all over that carbon based microbe's deploringly abysmal so called 'blockbusters.'
Sadly, Transformers, like Megatron in this flick have definitely seen better days.
Rolling out now.
The Transformers have left the building.
At least Titanic Sunk with dignity
Interesting plot spoiled by terrible ham acting and predictability. Some of the effects could have also been much better. Was expecting much better from James Cameron. Oh well every director is allowed a dud I guess ;) I felt for Victoria's character and her trapped hair, having a very sensitive scalp myself, but the woman never listened and ended up dead. I felt sorry for Ioan's character losing his loved one, despite his being an ass, but in the end I guess he joined her, predictable that.
Was expecting more effects and to see more of the cave system and for the movie to be longer (and with better acting and less predictability). I mean isn't that what a director's for to yell CUT and do the take over if it sucks?
Oh well at least it was the cave and Mother Earth that was the challenge and not some great CGI nether beastie which would have made this clunker even worse.
Save your dollars on this one, unless you're a B grade movie nut.
Pi in the Sky
2 for interesting premise. Minus 8 for the brain-bashing screechiness, patchy camera-work and unfulfilled message.
I had to put this movie on mute several times just to get through it, having sensitive hearing. The movie attempts to be profound, but sadly falls short and leaves one wanting. Stuck through it to learn more.
Even though after my third year of primary school I loathed maths with a passion (*adored* it up until then) I have learned of profound mathematical symbols, in the 'chaos' and the beautiful synchronicity of these symbols, occurring everywhere in the Universe.
Sadly this movie seemed to have more chaos. Sad as I usually dig oddball, independent movies. (That said, in substance it's a damn sight better than most of the so-called blockbusters these days like Gi Joe, etc...) but sadly, Pi leaves a lot to be desired and needs to be more grounded and solid.
I felt for the character in the movie, having mental challenges myself, sadly Pi and the religious propaganda, (At least it was Jewish for a change) was annoying,mostly boring, took ages to get into and just when it appeared it be going somewhere, it became boring and repetitive again, then a tidbit of interest when they mentioned sacred mathematical symbols in nature, then it goes screechy, arty-farty, then boring again and just when you're thinking, get to the F---ing point! The credits roll up and you're like ... Yes? ... And? Perhaps it was meant to leave one pondering. And so I am. Pondering why this highly recommended movie I've heard do much about and *finally* got a chance to see - pondering ... Why?... It could have been so much better and much more profound and go much deeper than I expected from this one.
Goes to show recommendations and awards aren't all they're cracked up to be.
Nim's Island (2008)
Lovely, insightful and heartwarming
I adored this movie, as a writer and as a lover of odd, interesting movies. My only beef was the silly, wooden, way overdone "Buccaneers" scene frankly, best left out entirely. A modern child wouldn't say "coming, mother " it'd be more like an angry snap "coming, moooom!" And the animal scenes were also somewhat cheesy -but looking past that --
Aside from that it was a lovely, inspiring movie, as I am also an agoraphobic writer. Not quote as bad as Jodie Foster's character, though I have other obstacles. My characters also talk to me :) So the scenes between Alex the author and Alex the character were funny and delightful to watch.
I see quite a few have trashed this movie saying a 10 year old girl would not be so strong, insightful and intelligent. This usually would be the case, but here Nim has been brought up on fresh food grown (or caught) on the Island (so it's all organic) No junk food, microwave dinners, preservative laden chemical crap which affects the brains of children (and adults), so it stands to reason that Nim's brain and muscles would be more active than an average child her age as she has not been poisoned on over processed rubbish food and sugars and not brainwashed by the subliminal programming of television, now does she sit all day at the TV or playing computer games. A bit of time on the net, yes, but not hours and hours on end.
It was a delight to see a child so insightful and intelligent, but also a child needing someone to be there for her when things went awry.
Jodie Foster's character was also awesome in the trip she made, from being boxed up in her home with bottles and bottles of hand sanitizers and tins of processed tomato soup, to brave swimming in the ocean and eating live island food. And in the end, it didn't matter, her whole life turned around for the better. Alex the writer came alive and when the Alex character left her, a real man came into her life :) Who looked just like her sexy, dashing hero and somewhat of an adventurer himself ;) I'm guessing life on the island just got a little more interesting. All three characters went through challenges and came out wiser and stronger in the end. Life is all about learning, adjusting, growing and breaking free.
This movie is about all four.
Sail to Nim's Island. Of course you'll have to do it in your mind, and as it is a metaphor for growing and breaking free from whatever holds you back in your own life, and sail the seas of your own subconscious and be amazed at the wisdom you find there. The ocean is a metaphor for the unconscious mind. Think about that :)
They should have minus stars. 1 awful - minus 5 GODawful.
Megaville's motto was it was "Total Recall" Meets "Terminator." Where? In the toilet? Interesting premise, sadly so very badly executed. My stepfather and I usually LOVE these types of movies, this one was a sure-fire corker. It was one of THE most boring pieces of brain-bashing tripe I've ever seen in my life. Saw it when I was 17. I'm 38 now and *still* hate it. Congrats, Megaville! You've been at #1 of the most boring moves of all time for 21 years!! And with all the recent Hollywood 'blockbuster' rubbish that's quite an accomplishment! Good thing this waste product was only $1 to hire. Waste of that even.
The hero was flat as a pancake and when the moron was finally shot in the head at the end, I said "Thank the Gods for that!" and my stepdad seconded it. Good thing we also had pizza & juice.
Total snoozer. Watch if you are in need of a cure for insomnia or need to laugh hysterically at how bad a so-called movie can get.
Waste of time, money & brain cells.
Sad as it promised to be SO much better... sigh... Much sadder that these idiots have so much money to make movies and they make shite, when people like me have zillions of amazing ideas but lack the $$ and contacts to make our unique voices heard. Stupid matrix or a world we live in :( as bad as that GODawful Megaville...
The Book of Eli (2010)
And Humanity Saw the Destruction caused in the name of God and said: "Enough"
Glad to see I'm not the only one who shot an arrow through this turkey. I anticipated the violence, blood and body parts that come with this sort of flick, though I would have expected more substance. At first I thought the Book of Eli was some sort of lost scroll. What a disappointment - the book, the plot, the movie. And this movie was blatantly sexist. The women in it, did nothing but shy away, scream, get hurt, raped, captured and whine - if they lived in such a world, it would stand to reason that they would have learned to defend themselves and whup-ass. Okay to Solara became a warrior, however if she had grown up in such a world -- she would have already been one.
So Religious wars destroyed the world? Figures. And so true the, Church used the bible as a weapon preying on the lost and forlorn, giving them a false sense of 'hope' True the bible (and other religious texts) have some wonderful messages, though those brainwashed by religion (any of them) were forbidden to really think for themselves and were conned into believing their religion had all the answers - in truth none of them do - the truth is within you - It always has been, no organised religion wants you to know your own personal and beautiful power, your sense of self worth that you are a beautiful sovereign being that should answer to no one. This world this Universe created itself not to be worshipped, but to expand, explore, live and learn and live in peace.
So no wonder Oldman's character wanted it for the same reason. So why did Denzel's character save a book that has been used to brainwash billions?
I did however love the library scene at the end - at least some culture was saved. And how the bible was in Braille was interesting (and Eli was Blind) - let us hope that the new world will use books like the bible to *actually* bring hope - and never be used for domination and control as they have been in our past.
I guess making movies like this are supposed to drum some sense into humans to forgo their petty disputes, wars, dogma and give humans a sense of what it might be like of they don't put aside their differences.
So in that sense perhaps the movie had some purpose as to say: "Look humanity, if you don't straighten yourselves out, your race will become nothing but a stupid, idiotic plot less, pointless movie!"
Humanity's cry, "NOOOOO!!!! Anything but that!! Let us do something to prevent this godawful travesty!"
A pity the travesty in the form of movies like these are needed (or worldwide disasters to shake humanity up) Wake up people!!! Perhaps movies like these will motivate them to let go, if, en-masse, they have the intelligence. If not, too bad, so sad. The ones who are making a difference will ascend to higher light realms and those who are not will become nothing but extras in a sh!tty B grade movie, spiraling themselves to self destruction.
Think about it. Then do something. However small, do something. 7 billion little somethings = a big something.