Reviews written by registered user
|141 reviews in total|
Clerks. (1994) C-92 min. D: Kevin Smith. Brian O'Halloran, Jeff Anderson, Marilyn Ghigliotti, Lisa Spoonhauer, Jason Mewes, Kevin Smith, Scott Mosier, Walter Flanagan, Al Berkowitz. $27,000 B/W film about a day in the lives of two unhappy clerks, one who works at a convenience store and the other who works at a video store. Smith's first film, often times very funny, but tends to drag on a bit and some of the acting is slightly bland. Some laugh out loud moments, such as the offscreen sexual encounter between the main character's ex-girlfriend and...well, I won't spoil it for you. But offscreen is indeed where it belongs once we find out the messy details. The big-screen debut of Jay and Silent Bob, who play drug dealers who spend their days outside the stores (but business seems to be very bad). Originally rated NC-17 for sexually explicit dialogue. RATING: 6 out of 10. Rated R for graphic sexual dialogue.
Saw (2004) C-100 min. D: James Wan. Leigh Whannel, Cary Elwes, Danny Glover, Ken Leung, Dina Meyer, Mike Butters, Michael Emerson, Monica Potter, Ned Bellamy. The millionth serial killer movie since SILENCE OF THE LAMBS throws in every single genre cliché imaginable (how many times are the main character's wife and daughter going to be threatened in a movie like this?) not to mention surprisingly bad acting (except Glover) and an twist that is obvious from the opening minute. A doctor and a photographer are chained to pipes on opposite ends of a filthy torture chamber, victims of the Jigsaw, a serial killer who plays games in order for his victims to kill each other. Of course, the doctor's family has been taken hostage and time is of the essence. More gruesome than scary, with the all-too-familiar Hollywood shootout climax (isn't this supposed to be an independent film?) but there are some tense moments here and there. RATING: 5 out of 10. Rated R for graphic violence & gore, grisly images, and profanity.
Pros Excellent start to the series. Upbeat, fast-paced, well-acted, and some interesting new characters in Brad Chase & Lori Colson. The opening credits are cool looking & the music is funky, wild, and different. The cases were also funny & the dialogue was witty and executed perfectly.
Cons Rev. Al Sharpton's cameo was excessive & unnecessary. Also, Alan Shore worked better when he was the lone "insane" lawyer.
Summary - A definite lighter tone than The Practice but also worth the wait.
RATING: 8 out of 10
The Jackhammer Massacre (a.k.a. Jackhammer 2004) C-89 min. D: Joe Castro. Aaron Gaffey, Kyle Yaskin, Bart Burson, Nadia Angelini, Evan Owen, Rob Rotten, Rachel Rotten, Desi O'Brian. A direct-to-DVD revenge/slasher movie details a successful businessman's fall into insanity and growing love for his jackhammer, thanks to drugs. The first slasher movie in memory to blame its killer's antics on drugs...for a while, it even works too (with some nasty & gory special effects). It's nice to see a direct-to-DVD slasher gorefest. Unfortunately, the film's horrendous acting (worse than anything the 80s slasher films had to offer, which is really sad) and laughable last 20 minutes lead to its downfall. There is no excuse for the filmmakers to have been satisfied with the amount of bad acting in this movie (though the lead, Aaron Gaffey, isn't half bad). RATING: 3 out of 10. Rated R for graphic violence and gore, grisly images, drug use, sexuality, adult themes, and profanity.
Head of State (2003) C-95 min. D: Chris Rock. Chris Rock, Bernie Mac, Dylan Baker, Nick Searcy, Lynn Whitfield, Robin Givens, Tamala Jones, James Rebhorn, Keith David, Tracy Morgan, Stephanie March, Robert Stanton, Nate Dogg, Funkmaster Flex. Amusing farce as Rock, an alderman, picked to run for President of the United States after the original presidential candidate dies in a plane crash two months before the election. Obviously, he is being set up to lose, but (of course) begins winning over the people. Several laugh-out-loud moments and a funny performance by both Rock and Mac. However, Givens' stalker ex-girlfriend character is completely unnecessary and just plain sick as opposed to funny. RATING: 7 out of 10. Rated PG-13 for sexual innuendoes, profanity, adult themes, violence.
Maplewoods (2003) C-87 min. D: David B. Stewart III. Thomas Reilly, Elissa Mullen, Christopher Connolly, John Weidemoyer, John Martineau, Francesco Constante, Steven Brown, Brian Dugan, Sean Hutcheon, Peter Hock, Victoria Katz, Robert Schiller, Dave Stewart Jr, Jerry Puma, David B. Stewart III. A team of highly-skilled military operatives embark on a mission to clear the area of Maplewoods from flesh-eating zombies (results of a Nazi experiment gone terribly wrong). Delightfully cheesy in its own way, this low budget gorefest features hilarious dialogue and some examples of awful overacting. But if not taken too seriously, MAPLEWOODS can be enjoyed for what it is. RATING: 3 out of 10. NOT RATED (graphic violence, grisly images, profanity)
Dreamcatcher (2003) C-136 min. D: Lawrence Kasdan. Morgan Freeman, Thomas Jane, Jason Lee, Damian Lewis, Timothy Olyphant, Tom Sizemore, Donnie Wahlberg, Mikey Holekamp, Reece Thompson, Giacomo Baessato, Joel Palmer, Andrew Robb, Eric Keenleyside, Rosemary Dunsmore, Michael O'Neill, Darrin Klimek. Based on the novel by Stephen King, this overlong tale rolls about 3 or 4 films in 136 minutes and just turns out to be dull and incoherent. Four longtime friends with extrasensory powers reunite for a weekend camping trip and find themselves in the middle of a war between a military vigilante and an unstoppable force. About an hour passes before top-billed Freeman makes his first appearance, while we get to know the four friends whom could have had a whole movie made around them (as opposed to the sci-fi 360 the movie pulls on its viewers). RATINGL: 3 out of 10. Rated R for graphic violence, grisly images, and profanity.
Slumber Party Massacre (1982) C-77 min. D: Amy Holden Jones. Michelle Michaels, Robin Stille, Michael Villella, Debra Deliso, Andree Honore, Gina Mari, Jennifer Meyers, Joseph Alan Johnson, Brinke Stevens, Rigg Kennedy, Jean Vargas, Anna Patton, Howard Furgason. Originally scripted as a spoof of teen slasher flicks, the producers scratched that idea and filmed it with serious intentions. Big mistake! A horrendous, relatively bloodless excuse for a slasher film (even by slasher standards) has way too many false scares, horrid acting, inane dialogue, and is extremely slow. The `plot' concerns a psycho, armed with his electric drill, out to crash a high school slumber party. This film has a reputation of being the best of its kind, but that distinction goes to SORORITY HOUSE MASSACRE, not this shlock. RATING: 1 out of 10. RATED R for graphic violence, grisly images, profanity, sexuality, nudity, adult themes.
Sorority House Massacre II (1990) C-80 min. D: Jim Wynorski. Robyn Harris, Melissa Moore, Stacia Zhivago, Michelle Verran, Dana Bentley, Jurgen Baum, Toni Naples, Mike Elliot, Bridget Carney, Bob Sheridan, Gunnar Johnson. More or less a sequel to SLUMBER PARTY MASSACRE instead of SORORITY HOUSE MASSACRE, this laughable sequel has five sorority girls buying a house for cheap, where gruesome murders took place five years earlier. You might have to be a rocket scientist in order to figure out what happens next. Contains elements of JASON GOES TO HELL, as well as NIGHTMARE ON ELM ST, but ultimately still a MASSACRE film, one of the weakest of the lot. RATING: 2 out of 10. RATED R for graphic violence, grisly images, profanity, sexuality, nudity, adult themes.
Slumber Party Massacre II (1987) C-90 min. D: Deborah Brock. Crystal Bernard, Jennifer Rhodes, Kimberly McArthur, Patrick Lowe, Juliette Cummins, Heidi Kozak, Cindy Eilbacher, Atanis, Ilitch, Joel Hoffman, Scott Westmoreland, Michael Delano, Hamilton Mitchell. The killer from SLUMBER PARTY MASSACRE returns, reincarnated as an evil rocker (!) who sings and dances (quite badly) before dispatching his big-breasted bimbo victims with a huge drill on the end of an electric guitar. No, we're not making this up! The producers score two points for trying to be original with completely unoriginal material, but the execution is miserably inept (and overlong). Gore galore, but that's about it. RATING: 2 out of 10. RATED R for graphic violence, grisly images, profanity, sexuality, nudity, adult themes.
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