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You're Next (2011)
Nothing new, rather a yawn fest
The current generation of Horror film makers continue to reply on tropes created 30 years ago. Though chocked full of gore, stabbing and backstabbing relatives, the film offers no scares or thrills. After The Strangers (which I did not like either) every movie now has to have cute masks (Purge anyone?)
As a result of the mundane horror movies of late, I have made the decision to stop going to them. Apparently I am not alone in that thought, as this film has made a paltry 17M. Box office mojo does not list the budget, which tells me it's more than 17M. (Not figuring in marketing costs) Furthermore it was shelved for a year, so some decision- maker didn't think this it was as good as some of the teenagers reviewing it here on IMDb.
A 7 rating? Really? That's just shameful.
After Earth (2013)
Creative people shouldn't have complete control
But hey, Will Smith put his own money on the line and that of his friends and family. So they lost. It's a write-off. I guess M. Night Sham-a-lama ding-dong is an inexpensive director considering the disaster of his last five films. Who cares. He'll be directing TV soon, one would guess.
Ten Things that Made this film awful
1. Will Smith doing a Gary Sinise impression. Wooden!
2. So they smell fear but we can't reproduce that smell put it on drones and blow them up? So people fight them with a stick?
3. What kind of accent was that? Why did we need one? Poor actors can't do accents well.
4. There's no original story, nothing unexpected or surprising.
5. Maybe 130M isn't enough of a budget to get good CGI!
6. Apparently 1000 years from now we're all retarded. (Sorry) Mentally challenged.
7. So the Condor didn't evolve into a predator of humans.
8. And how is it these earth animals evolved hating humans, who've they've never seen?
9. Will was criminally under used. Why couldn't they go on the adventure together?
10 Will and Jaden have no chemistry what so ever.
Note to Jaden: Because of your father's misguided attempt to pimp you out to the world, you are now the most hated privileged little b@stard on the planet.
Seriously dude, I have come across We Hate Jaden websites.
Sad comment on the world at large but it seems your father's plan has backfired. Saw you on the street the other day in your Iron Man costume. Smart boy. Keep your face hidden.
Shame on you Will! You must be aware that he's talentless. The theatre was empty, A friend let me slip in the side door, so I didn't pay for this mess. I am sorry for people who did.
Shame on you Will!!!!!!
The Great Gatsby (2013)
I wanted to like it .... so bad, but ....
Nick Carraway in a nut house? What? His time with Gatsby gave him a nervous breakdown? Why? You stink Chris Pearce (screenwriter) This concept undermines F. Scott's entire point!!!!
This is an unnecessary film captured in the swirling glory of 3-D, sweeping cameras, excess and the decadent rich ad nauseam. With the author's prose in actual words on the screen and fireworks in the sky, we are given a weak script, failed characterizations devoid of all meaning.
The music takes you completely out of the jazz age and dumps you in a glitzy nightmare populated with no characters no audiences can invest in.
On a personal note DiCaprio is not good looking enough nor talented enough to play Gatsby. No one is.
There should be a rule regarding certain pieces of literature, filmmakers can't film them just to make money.
Walking out of the film I am reminded of parties I have attended, and stayed too late, only to wake up amongst the stale remains and debris of the previous nights excess.
When DiCaprio said, "Old Sport", the audience laughed. Like the film itself, it was unnatural.
Evil Dead (2013)
Steamy pile of stupid vomit
There are no characters. Just people. The heroin intervention, only a ploy to get them there. Gore. And more gore. An exercise in gore is not a movie.
There is a no story. No back story on anything or anyone. Just Gore.
There is no Ash!
There is no humor!
Then what is the point of a remake? Gore! Only thing that makes this crapfest a remake is the title, Evil Dead. They could have called, We Are Stealing Souls (and your money) and no one would have said, that reminds me of Evil Dead.
They would have said, that reminds me of (fill in the blank) And gore.
A chainsaw doesn't make it a remake!!!
Did I mention the gore?
Safety Not Guaranteed (2012)
Sci-fi character study with wonderful performers
A little romance, excellent writing and wounded people all wrapped in a sci-fi Valentine. I could not have liked it more. The leads acted out their character arcs perfectly. Direction top notch. Just a little indie movie that stays in yer mind and put a smile on your face.
So if you could travel in time, when would you go, and more importantly why would you go.
Everyone has regret. Sometimes people tell lies to cover their pain. Sometimes. And everyone is human.
Make some popcorn, get with the one you care for, and watch it. It will make you smile!!
By hat is off to Derek Connolly, the screenwriter!
The Strangers (2008)
What was this for? What was this about?
As far as I can tell, three psychopaths terrorize two people without reason. The movie is a hunt of humans. The three baddies are always in the right place, never make a mistake, never are harmed.
What is the point?
Forget about acting, direction and story. Three super villains with the best luck of all time get away with murder.
Victim number #1 asks. "Why are you doing this?"
Villain #2. "Cause you were home."
Really? Talk about lazy writing.
Is this what movies have boiled down to? It isn't a movie. Do not waste your time. I pray the screen hack never works again.
Well done horror film
I had to make myself a drink after watching this film. I'd like to start by admitting that I'm a male. Also that I believe women should have rights over their lives and bodies without question.
The film will leave you a little shaky as was intended. The storyline is well thought out with many unexpected twists and turns. Hultquist and Matinez did a damn good job. Direction was fine, given an obvious limited budget the film seemed a tad scaled back. But no complaints. The less Eskandari showed the more freaked out I became.
Harrowing to watch. Especially if you see everyones point of view, motive and that of any victim of crime.
Actors Weigand and Bancroft turned in above-average performances. Weigand's character arc is particularly well done by the young actor.
Think I'll make myself another drink.
Unhappy Birthday (2011)
Low rent Wicker Man with homoerotic angle
As we all know in order for most run-of-the-mill horror films to work the characters have to behave unbelievably stupid. They have to make foolish decisions to advance the agenda of the writer.
This film takes that meme to new heights of dumbness. Cribbed from The Wicker Man and mixed with the homoerotic earmarks of a David DeCoteau film, Unhappy Birthday fails to raise interest.
The man-on-man sex scenes, I suppose, are to shock and divert us from the failures of the script. And while the scenes were titillating, actors David Paisley and Jonathan are attractive and capable enough actors, the well-worn story is so painfully predictable. The feeble reason why they come to the island and the ending itself do not add up.
We know instantly they are in trouble. They do not. We know who is going to be the whack-job instantly. They do not. It's hard to root for people who are mindlessly being lead into a trap.
Lastly, the lead actress is neither convincing, attractive enough or engaging. The three-way scene between the leads exists only to add running time to this poor film.
Brilliant ... simply perfect
Many others have spoken about this TV series, probably putting their affection into more articulate thoughts than I.
Best damn thing I've seen since ... let me see ... Buffy? Dollhouse?
I have no idea why the network canned it, I only hope someone lost their job over the decision. Then again it is Fox and that's a really screwed up place.
The cast was perfect, the writing stellar but its the idea, the concept of a future that more or less returns us to the American frontier ... in space.
It must be true ... Joss is a genius. On a personal note: Nathan is the sexiest actor out there.
Crap on a stick
Won't spoil anything - cause there's nothing worth spoiling. We've been here before. Nothing new. Move along now ... nothing to see.
The idea of the shaky camera is really to hide all the directors mistakes while trying to pass it off as "real" and intense and happening RIGHT NOW! A cast of nobodies, directors no one has ever heard of -- but a darn good marketing team.
Who wants to see flashes of a scene and then the camera twirls, someone screams, blood appears and we really don't have a clue what is going on. And after a while -- we don't care.
If your movie has to rely on this overused "trick" of shaky camera and whirling motion you're covering something up, like a lack of a story (professional directing) and solid character development.
This was a boring gimmick movie -
But hail to the marketing team (those great spin masters) for talking about people getting "sick" - Right. Yeah, motion sickness.