Reviews

121 ReviewsOrdered By: Date
La La Land (I) (2016)
2/10
Worst Musical Ever
29 July 2017
Bad music, bad lyrics, horrible acting, poor direction, dismal writing. There is not one good thing I can say about this dismal disaster, other than the writer/director should be banned from ever making another film for all time. Not only is the acting horrendous, but the singing is non-existent. And I speak as a gay man who loves a good musical and has appeared on stage professionally in quite a few. It really shows the dismal state of Hollyweed that this would ever even have been nominated for any awards. But then that is what it has come to. Even the good musicals have been destroyed by making them into films (i.e.Sweeney Todd, Chicago, ad nauseum). The art of the musical is now officially dead, and the participants here have killed it forever.
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2/10
Snoozefest
26 June 2017
I watched this because of all the hype, and, as usual, I was sorely disappointed. In fact, there is absolutely nothing good I can say about it. Basically, it's a 2 hour soap opera, and I've even seen better soap opera. The writing is dull, witless, and totally pedantic. The direction is formulaic at best and totally unimaginative. I've seen better TV shows. But the prize goes to the actors...some of the worst acting I've seen in years in a feature (but then I don't watch many new films). The best I can say of Clooney is that he has a funny run in sandals, but then I haven't liked anything he's done since ER. The rest of the cast is just plain bad. Bottom line? Don't waste a second on this garbage.
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Game of Thrones (2011– )
3/10
Garbage
24 June 2017
It seems the days of good fantasy are now dead forever. Gone are the worlds of magic and mysticism to be replaced by graphic sex and even more graphic violence. Tolkien and Lewis are doing somersaults in their respective graves. Now we have lots of violent battle scenes interrupted by dull, soap-opera-like pedantry. And while it may be technically impressive in it's many cartoon-like computer graphics, the actual writing and acting are embarrassingly bad. One can only feel pity for otherwise good actors like Charles Dance and the great Diana Rigg. As to the stories, they are exceedingly dull and totally unimaginative...By the way, I have trudged through 4 seemingly interminable seasons hoping it might get better, only to be seriously disappointed...and the seasons are only 10 episodes!!!
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Merlin (2008–2012)
4/10
The gayest Camelot ever!
4 March 2017
Not that I mind. It certainly kept me watching the series throughout it's run. But really, what were they thinking! First they cast an Arthur straight from a gay porn film, then they pair him with a decidedly homely but somehow appealing Merlin. And then they proceed to imply a sexual relationship between the two which stops just short of seeing them jump into the sack together. Then to the mix they add the openly gay Richard Wilson and the closeted Anthony Head. And of course they cast the ugliest Guinevere on record who has no charm at all and very little talent. Guess they didn't want her spoiling the 'boys' fun. And speaking of which, they seem to have hired the knights from the ranks of gay porn actors. Now throw out every thing you may have learned about the legend and toss it into the garbage heap. It seems this was designed to appeal to modern kiddies, certainly not adults of any intelligence. But then why all the gay fun? I guess I just wish they had gone all the way and made Arthur and Merlin lovers...or at least f***buddies.
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Live from Lincoln Center: Camelot (2008)
Season 33, Episode 3
5/10
Weak
9 February 2017
This is a very weak performance of a highly overrated musical. Gabriel Byrne hardly sings at all and sounds like he has a bad cold. He also turns Arthur into a sniveling wimp...pathetic, in short. Marin Mazzie couldn't act her way out of the proverbial paper. Christopher Lloyd plays his usual wacko 'Taxi' character. Stacy Keach and Fran Drescher are very short-lived and basically wasted (Drescher is particularly horrid with her usual Queens dialect). Lancelot is a over-blown opera singer and not very good-looking. All in all a total waste of time. I guess I never liked this show much because it trashes Lewis' Once and Future King which was a fabulous book. Giving it a 5 out of 10 was being generous.
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Moonlighting (1985–1989)
2/10
One of the WORST!!
18 May 2016
I had no interest in this when it was on, and now, after seeing the first season, I'm glad I never did. This has to rank as one of worst shows of its type ever made. Give me Diana Rigg and The Avengers any day over this garbage. First, the two leads have zero in the way of acting ability and Willis is one of the most unattractive men in the history of cinema or TV. I'm speaking in terms of the whole package. He is not only physically repellent but he has all the charm and personality of a trained monkey...and that's an insult to all monkeys. And Cybil should have stuck to modeling, as that is her only (questionable) 'talent'. I don't know if she ever learned how to act, I see she's still working in TV, but here she has zero like her co- star. The attempts at humorous repartee are pathetic. I literally wanted to punch Willis' lights out every time he opened his mouth, and I'm not a violent person. As to the stories, they are limp, pathetic, and totally uninteresting. A TOTAL WASTE OF TIME!!!
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C.R.A.Z.Y. (2005)
4/10
Truly Lame
20 November 2015
Bad direction, poor writing, over-the-top acting, this movies doesn't get anything right on all counts. The main character is supposed to be gay, but this is gay as seen by a homophobic straight male. The so- called eccentric characters are just two dimensional stereotypes. I find it difficult to believe this got such a high rating as there is little of any interest about it. Maybe the raters were all Canadians. But if I were, I'd be ashamed at producing such a product. But then there are no American films I could recommend either in the current cinema. The last great American film was made about 20 years ago. And speaking as a gay man, I was seriously offended by the film's attitudes towards gay people in general. About the only thing I can recommend about this film is a cute lead who looks good in his underwear.
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Freaks and Geeks (1999–2000)
3/10
Moronica for Morons!
10 June 2015
A show made by morons, about morons, for morons only. But then I should have known that going in once I saw Apatow's name on it, the undisputed king of the moron movie. Not there's anything wrong with that. I mean I love the 3 stooges, but they can be funny, whereas there is no one on this show who is even remotely amusing. I mean I doubt they could have found a less talented bunch of actors. Even the 'adults' are pathetically unfunny. All i can say is thank goodness it didn't survive. By the end of the show I wanted to nuke everyone on the set. The odd thing is this is such a bad show, I'm amazed they haven't tried to revive it. I can only hope that is a special place in hell for Apatow.
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Lost in Space (1965–1968)
2/10
The Beverly Hillbillies in Outer Space
18 May 2015
Yes I did watch this as a youngster, but quickly lost interest after the first year. I mean most science fiction of the period was pretty idiotic, but this one stretched it so far beyond the unintelligible...I mean it had them crossing 'galaxies' while never even achieving anything beyond the speed of light. And all the actors were white, of course (Allen didn't cross the racial lines until 'Giants'). While I like Guy Williams and June Lockhart, and even Billy Mumy. Dr. Smith just became extremely annoying after a time, as well as a stereotypical 'queen' (and I hadn't even realized I was gay at the time). Anyway the characters were all just cardboard cutouts. After a while it wasn't even dumb mindless fun. Just the same recycled plots over and over again. Anyway, re-watching this in my dotage hasn't improved anything. But then network TV hasn't gotten much better over the years. I mean the shows produced on the CW network are just as dumb as this ever was. In fact I wouldn't be surprised it they did an updated version. In the end, all I can is thank goodness for Star Trek.
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5/10
A Disappointment
31 January 2015
Flat, dull, shot on video, populated by lots of ugly men and women. This is a wonderful piece of music set to boring visuals. What was the point. If they had hired some real actors or dancers with any skill, it could have been something. But as it is, we have the local amateur theatre of some small town in Bavaria, and a director with very little imagination. Forget the other reviews. I watched this because I wanted to see something more than a concert performance. But this definitely not it. Forget the other reviews. One even calls it an 'a capella' piece! DUH! Does he even know what the term means. It refers to a chorus without orchestra. In Orff's piece it is the orchestra that makes the performance. Well, anyway, at least he used a decent recording of the work (conducted by Eugen Jochim, if I remember right), so it isn't a total waste of time. Next time the director needs to at least find some performers that are good to look at, if nothing else, or better yet hire a ballet troupe.
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Private Romeo (2011)
2/10
Truly Pathetic
30 September 2014
A group of failed gay porn stars trying to do a Reader's Digest condensed very of Shakespeare. I say failed because, yes, they may have good bodies, but they are all quite ugly. The 'acting' is all strictly bad high school amateur quality. And to add insult to injury, they tack on a happy ending (no one is killed and the lovers both survive and are happy together). What I wish someone would do is the original version, which did have an all-male, with boys playing the female roles. Of course they would have to find young boys who could actual act and I doubt they have many in Canada. I guess the setting was chosen was the cheapest available...as were the actors and director. Oh, and if you thought this might be in some way 'erotic', you would be wrong. There is no sex, except for a couple of kisses, and no nudity, except from the waist up. It would probably get a PG rating if it weren't 'gay'. Probably the worst Shakespeare film ever made.
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The Fire That Burns (1997 TV Movie)
4/10
95 minutes of pure tedium!
9 August 2014
This is one of those badly made films that pretends to be about something (what, I don't know), but ends up being a tedious, bloated boor. In fact, the last 20 minutes of the 'film' are taken up by a dialog between 2 priests in which neither says anything of any interest to anyone. Yes, the central story is about a gay 'friendship' between 2 boys, but with no explanation as to why there is any attraction between the two. Yes there is a kiss between the two, but that's the only bit of physical contact. And of course, all the priests are pedophiles (not gay) which is the only realistic thing about this film and pseudo-sadists. And there is, mercifully, no mention of god or Christ or religion, even though this is a film about a Catiolic boys' school. And, unfortunately the two adult actors are quite poor. All in all this is a scattered, nihilistic, extremely dull mess of a film with little, if anything to recommend it. Don't waste your time.
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1/10
Even worse than the original
13 July 2014
I thought the first one was truly hideously BAD, but this is even worse, if that is at all possible. Basically, this is soft core sado-porn for gay men. So if you're into watching muscle men slice each other up with graphic computer animation blood and gore, then by all means watch this. Otherwice, steer clear. This must be the nadir for Hannah, but then he never had much talent to begin with, and an obviously gay man pretending to be a straight villain is really pathetic. Leave it to the actors who can act! Stick to light gay comedies, John. The only one who comes out less than scathed here is Lucy. Of course, the guys must have had a good time, Lots of gay orgies while they weren't on set I bet.
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4/10
Big Disappointment
25 May 2014
Yes, it's great to see Chita Rivera, and Joel Grey is OK, but Marin Maizie is just your typical Broadway belter with little character or appeal, and Jason Daniely is downright embarrassingly BAD. Not only is he totally lacking in personality or appeal (if he's gay I feel sorry for his boyfriend), his voice has a heavy vibrato, and he often goes off pitch. What he is doing here (or anywhere for that matter) is beyond me. He manages to totally destroy one of their best songs, Maybe This Time. As for Rivera and Grey, well, they deliver the goods well enough, but both are well beyond their good years. And Maizie is mostly dull as the proverbial dishwater. In fact, one would the thing the guy narrating and accompanying the singers had it in for Kander (Ebb is long since dead) and this was his revenge. And where was Liza? Yes, she too is over the hill, but I'd rather hear her than Daniely or Maizie any day.
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Cabaret (1993 TV Movie)
4/10
Mediocre and Badly Sung
3 February 2014
There is one bright light in this 'limited' production and that is Sally Kestelman as Frau Schneider who does credit to the songs originally written for the great Lotte Lenya. Otherwise this is pretty much a bust. Alan Cummings is OK as the MC, which is of course an overblown character, and he 'camps' it up appropriately. There is not much I can say about the rest of the cast. They are all playing way over the top, even for a theatrical performance, and most of them can barely hold a tune. You could make the justification that the original character was a bad performer, but Horrocks, who has done much better in the past, is quite awful here, and sings out of key way too many times. The so-called 'leading man' is an ugly little nebbish with zero presence. The staging is very limited and unimaginative as is the choreography. Granted it was all done in a small space, but so is the movie, and Fosse brought his own unique style to the limited dance routines.

All in all a HUGE disappointment considering the talents involved. Don't bother with the DVD. If you must see it, just go to youtube and watch it for free.
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The Vampire Diaries (2009–2017)
1/10
The worst of the worst
16 January 2014
I seriously thing the CW network hires brainless 12-year-olds to write all their scripts. Well, I guess it saves on the budgets. I think they're spending all their money on CGI and plastic surgery. Otherwise why would they hire 'actors' who can't act and look over 40 when they're playing 'teenagers'. I've watched about a dozen episodes of this one and ABSOLUTELY NOTHING has happened except a lot of teen angst. But then that is the network specially and gets them their advertisers. The fact that all their shows appeal to the many brain deficient teenagers in their target audience. Personally I would have turned this one off after the first few episodes, except for the presence of many former gay porn stars. But then they have the 'corporate closet' to keep all the boys. I guess it's run something like the Vatican where they keep all the 'boys' hidden for their priests' consumption. Anyway, the same is true off all their shows, so I shouldn't be surprised this one would be any different. Where is Buffy when you need her?
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Kyle XY (2006–2009)
2/10
Racist
25 October 2013
It's amazing that anyone these days could get away with producing anything so totally racist and sexist. I mean the cast is totally white, Anglo-Saxon. And the women, except maybe the mother, are all really nasty bitches. Add to that a leading man who is a failed gay porn actor. I mean he would have to be having been a model and one of the worst actors ever to be featured in a show. In fact the only real romance is the one between him and Declan, which you can either blame on the writers or the fact that the 2 'actors' were having a thing together. The writing is some of the worst ever, and that is saying a lot. The directing is lame and unimaginative, but then what could you expect from Peter DeLuise, among others. In fact the mother is so like Amanda Tapping you'd think she was the clone. The father is Mr. White Bread with no personality and the 'brother' is an ugly little dweeb. Nick Lea is playing the same character he did in X-Files, except he's supposed to be a good guy this time. But the fact that there are no blacks, Hispanics, Asians or anyone of color has to be the most offensive part of it. All in all, a total waste of anyone's time and to be avoided at all costs.
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4/10
Worst Cirque du Soleil I've seen
18 October 2013
This is really sad and pathetic. I haven't seen any of their later productions yet, but they appear to have hit rock bottom. Instead of wonderful acrobatics, we have lots of flashing lights and stage pyrotechnics, some lame choreography, even lamer music sung by lots of generic 'singers', none of any distinction, and about 4 or 5 actual circus acts, which all just repeats of earlier acts. And there are no clowns and zero humour! Instead of spending all their money on stage pyrotechnics and poor singers, they should invest in some new actual circus acts.

Lines added to get this review on-line.
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Modern Family (2009– )
1/10
Pure unadulterated garbage!
29 September 2013
I've only watched a few episodes from the first season, but, aside from not containing one iota of actual comedy, this is one of the most offensive shows ever created, and the writers should be castrated. One could understand if this were satire or black comedy, but it simply isn't anything, while it does succeed in offending practically every minority group on the planet, especially gays and hispanics. Instead of a real gay couple were served up with a couple of raving gay queens. Instead of a hispanic, were are treated to a modern day Carmen Miranda. But speaking as a gay person, this is the most offensive piece of garbage since Will and Grace. I know the networks have no class, talent or style in their work, but this is beyond all that. Simply pathetic!
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Kings (2009)
5/10
Interesting Failure
16 August 2013
An interesting idea, with some decent writing, but ultimately a failure in execution. There is a vague attempt to make some of the characters 3-dimensional, but in the end it fails. Ian McShane, though a decent actor, is just too creepy and repulsive to generate any sympathy. The two romantic leads redefine dull, boring, lifeless, and without personality as characters AND actors. And of course, in deference to network policy, the only gay character is a villain in the end, unlike the original story which implies David and 'Jack' (Jonathan) were lovers and that 'Jack' gave up his life for David. And what is Culkin still doing in the business? I mean the guy is totally unable to act. Still it was an interesting idea, if a failure, and they should have ended it properly.
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Company (2011)
5/10
Good, but;;;
5 July 2013
Unfortunately this musical stills suffers from the fact that the 'book' by George Furth (and little has been changed) is still quite weak. Considering both Sondheim and Furth are gay, the men's parts are incredibly weak, and the situations are clichéd. The performances likewise are the best by the women with the men pretty much taking up space in the background. As to Harris, well, his acting is decent enough, but his voice is rather thin for the material...and he hits a few 'clinkers'. Where is Dean Jones when you need him? Sondheim writes difficult stuff for the average Broadway singer, and 99% of the classical singers can't act, so at best the result is unsatisfactory...like the film version of 'Sweeney Todd'. By the way I did play David myself a long time ago, and I disliked the show then (the book mainly). I've done many musicals, and this is the one I remember with the least affection. I've often thought it might be interesting to do a modern interpretation with all gay couples...and not so incredibly 'white'. The leading character is obviously a model for a '70's gay man.
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Young Blades (2005– )
1/10
How did this last so long?
21 June 2013
Frankly, I'm amazed it made it beyond one episode. I couldn't even make it through the first episode before I had to shut it off. Made by 5 year old children for other five year old children, I'm guessing. The acting is horrid beyond belief. What Bruce and Michael are doing here is beyond me. Obviously they couldn't get work elsewhere or they are total idiots for putting their names on this (but then they are 'actors' and actors are notoriously stupid). As to the 3 leading men, obviously they couldn't get work in the gay porn industry because they were all too ugly. And who in their right mind would believe Sheena Easton could even pretend to be a man! Please! If you enjoy BAD TV, then there is you're thing, I guess. They don't come much worse than this.
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1/10
Absoule garbage TV
21 June 2013
Possibly the worst 'mini-series' of all time. In fact, I was only able to make it through the first 20 minutes before having to shut it off entirely. Absolutely everything about this is bad, from total lack of direction using cheap hand-held camera work to the most dreadful music ever written. All the 'actors' are dubbed, there is no live sound recorded, and the voices that are there are all terrible actors. The muzak makes elevator trash sound like Mozart by comparison. And it's accompanied by some sort of really cheaply made synthesizer. The costumes were apparently designed for some community theatre production by amateurs. The sets are cheaply made from cardboard cutouts. And worst of all it's exceedingly DULL, even for the short time I watched it. How this ever got the rating it did is totally beyond my compression, unless they were all from Russian voters. If you want to check out for yourself how bad it is, it's available on you tube.
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4/10
Dull and only mildly humorous
1 June 2013
The music consists of any of the tired classics you'll hear at any local 'Pops' concert. This stuff has been done to death!!! The humor is not much either. Just Kaye's usual schtick. Nothing much 'spontaneous' or interesting. Just a few mild chuckles. I would have preferred Tim Conway's old conductor. As we all know, Kaye spent his life hiding in the closet, so one can only chuckle when he kisses the young women. The most insulting thing about the whole thing is that Kaye BRAGS about not being able to read music. Something he could very easily have learned. It's not that hard for anyone with even half a brain. But to promote this fact, as he often did, to his younger viewers, is patently irresponsible. Well, he's dead now, so why beat a dead horse. One can only wonder if he and 'Zube' had something going on behind closet doors.
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Hyde in Hollywood (1991 TV Movie)
3/10
Welcome to Bad Theatre 101
29 January 2013
Forget all the pretensions of the other reviewer, this is simply a bad play, badly acted and badly directed.

The characters are all obnoxious and pretentious and while this may be true of most Hollyweed types (today as much as ever), it does not make for good theatre.

And if the author is gay, he should be castrated for writing such unsympathetic, clichéd characters.

As to the so-called 'movie' he presents, instead of a 'Citizen Kane' it might get the Ed Wood award for the worst film of the year, but it is certainly no classic. And he got it backwards, the director of 'Kane' was not gay (though he was always sympathetic) but the writer was.

As to the 'communist' implications, well he seems to have forgotten that we supported Russia and Stalin during WWII, aside from the simple fact that Russian society was never really 'communist' in it's purest sense. It was totalitarian.

And aside from being anti-gay, it also borders on being anti-semitic.

Anyway, the worst thing about this production really is the incredibly bad acting by all. Even in the theatre they wouldn't have gotten away with such overblown performances.
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