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One of the WORST!!
I had no interest in this when it was on, and now, after seeing the first season, I'm glad I never did. This has to rank as one of worst shows of its type ever made. Give me Diana Rigg and The Avengers any day over this garbage. First, the two leads have zero in the way of acting ability and Willis is one of the most unattractive men in the history of cinema or TV. I'm speaking in terms of the whole package. He is not only physically repellent but he has all the charm and personality of a trained monkey...and that's an insult to all monkeys. And Cybil should have stuck to modeling, as that is her only (questionable) 'talent'. I don't know if she ever learned how to act, I see she's still working in TV, but here she has zero like her co- star. The attempts at humorous repartee are pathetic. I literally wanted to punch Willis' lights out every time he opened his mouth, and I'm not a violent person. As to the stories, they are limp, pathetic, and totally uninteresting. A TOTAL WASTE OF TIME!!!
Bad direction, poor writing, over-the-top acting, this movies doesn't get anything right on all counts. The main character is supposed to be gay, but this is gay as seen by a homophobic straight male. The so- called eccentric characters are just two dimensional stereotypes. I find it difficult to believe this got such a high rating as there is little of any interest about it. Maybe the raters were all Canadians. But if I were, I'd be ashamed at producing such a product. But then there are no American films I could recommend either in the current cinema. The last great American film was made about 20 years ago. And speaking as a gay man, I was seriously offended by the film's attitudes towards gay people in general. About the only thing I can recommend about this film is a cute lead who looks good in his underwear.
Freaks and Geeks (1999)
Moronica for Morons!
A show made by morons, about morons, for morons only. But then I should have known that going in once I saw Apatow's name on it, the undisputed king of the moron movie. Not there's anything wrong with that. I mean I love the 3 stooges, but they can be funny, whereas there is no one on this show who is even remotely amusing. I mean I doubt they could have found a less talented bunch of actors. Even the 'adults' are pathetically unfunny. All i can say is thank goodness it didn't survive. By the end of the show I wanted to nuke everyone on the set. The odd thing is this is such a bad show, I'm amazed they haven't tried to revive it. I can only hope that is a special place in hell for Apatow.
Lost in Space (1965)
The Beverly Hillbillies in Outer Space
Yes I did watch this as a youngster, but quickly lost interest after the first year. I mean most science fiction of the period was pretty idiotic, but this one stretched it so far beyond the unintelligible...I mean it had them crossing 'galaxies' while never even achieving anything beyond the speed of light. And all the actors were white, of course (Allen didn't cross the racial lines until 'Giants'). While I like Guy Williams and June Lockhart, and even Billy Mumy. Dr. Smith just became extremely annoying after a time, as well as a stereotypical 'queen' (and I hadn't even realized I was gay at the time). Anyway the characters were all just cardboard cutouts. After a while it wasn't even dumb mindless fun. Just the same recycled plots over and over again. Anyway, re-watching this in my dotage hasn't improved anything. But then network TV hasn't gotten much better over the years. I mean the shows produced on the CW network are just as dumb as this ever was. In fact I wouldn't be surprised it they did an updated version. In the end, all I can is thank goodness for Star Trek.
Carmina burana (1975)
Flat, dull, shot on video, populated by lots of ugly men and women. This is a wonderful piece of music set to boring visuals. What was the point. If they had hired some real actors or dancers with any skill, it could have been something. But as it is, we have the local amateur theatre of some small town in Bavaria, and a director with very little imagination. Forget the other reviews. I watched this because I wanted to see something more than a concert performance. But this definitely not it. Forget the other reviews. One even calls it an 'a capella' piece! DUH! Does he even know what the term means. It refers to a chorus without orchestra. In Orff's piece it is the orchestra that makes the performance. Well, anyway, at least he used a decent recording of the work (conducted by Eugen Jochim, if I remember right), so it isn't a total waste of time. Next time the director needs to at least find some performers that are good to look at, if nothing else, or better yet hire a ballet troupe.
Private Romeo (2011)
A group of failed gay porn stars trying to do a Reader's Digest condensed very of Shakespeare. I say failed because, yes, they may have good bodies, but they are all quite ugly. The 'acting' is all strictly bad high school amateur quality. And to add insult to injury, they tack on a happy ending (no one is killed and the lovers both survive and are happy together). What I wish someone would do is the original version, which did have an all-male, with boys playing the female roles. Of course they would have to find young boys who could actual act and I doubt they have many in Canada. I guess the setting was chosen was the cheapest available...as were the actors and director. Oh, and if you thought this might be in some way 'erotic', you would be wrong. There is no sex, except for a couple of kisses, and no nudity, except from the waist up. It would probably get a PG rating if it weren't 'gay'. Probably the worst Shakespeare film ever made.
95 minutes of pure tedium!
This is one of those badly made films that pretends to be about something (what, I don't know), but ends up being a tedious, bloated boor. In fact, the last 20 minutes of the 'film' are taken up by a dialog between 2 priests in which neither says anything of any interest to anyone. Yes, the central story is about a gay 'friendship' between 2 boys, but with no explanation as to why there is any attraction between the two. Yes there is a kiss between the two, but that's the only bit of physical contact. And of course, all the priests are pedophiles (not gay) which is the only realistic thing about this film and pseudo-sadists. And there is, mercifully, no mention of god or Christ or religion, even though this is a film about a Catiolic boys' school. And, unfortunately the two adult actors are quite poor. All in all this is a scattered, nihilistic, extremely dull mess of a film with little, if anything to recommend it. Don't waste your time.
Spartacus: Gods of the Arena (2011)
Even worse than the original
I thought the first one was truly hideously BAD, but this is even worse, if that is at all possible. Basically, this is soft core sado-porn for gay men. So if you're into watching muscle men slice each other up with graphic computer animation blood and gore, then by all means watch this. Otherwice, steer clear. This must be the nadir for Hannah, but then he never had much talent to begin with, and an obviously gay man pretending to be a straight villain is really pathetic. Leave it to the actors who can act! Stick to light gay comedies, John. The only one who comes out less than scathed here is Lucy. Of course, the guys must have had a good time, Lots of gay orgies while they weren't on set I bet.
Yes, it's great to see Chita Rivera, and Joel Grey is OK, but Marin Maizie is just your typical Broadway belter with little character or appeal, and Jason Daniely is downright embarrassingly BAD. Not only is he totally lacking in personality or appeal (if he's gay I feel sorry for his boyfriend), his voice has a heavy vibrato, and he often goes off pitch. What he is doing here (or anywhere for that matter) is beyond me. He manages to totally destroy one of their best songs, Maybe This Time. As for Rivera and Grey, well, they deliver the goods well enough, but both are well beyond their good years. And Maizie is mostly dull as the proverbial dishwater. In fact, one would the thing the guy narrating and accompanying the singers had it in for Kander (Ebb is long since dead) and this was his revenge. And where was Liza? Yes, she too is over the hill, but I'd rather hear her than Daniely or Maizie any day.
Mediocre and Badly Sung
There is one bright light in this 'limited' production and that is Sally Kestelman as Frau Schneider who does credit to the songs originally written for the great Lotte Lenya. Otherwise this is pretty much a bust. Alan Cummings is OK as the MC, which is of course an overblown character, and he 'camps' it up appropriately. There is not much I can say about the rest of the cast. They are all playing way over the top, even for a theatrical performance, and most of them can barely hold a tune. You could make the justification that the original character was a bad performer, but Horrocks, who has done much better in the past, is quite awful here, and sings out of key way too many times. The so-called 'leading man' is an ugly little nebbish with zero presence. The staging is very limited and unimaginative as is the choreography. Granted it was all done in a small space, but so is the movie, and Fosse brought his own unique style to the limited dance routines.
All in all a HUGE disappointment considering the talents involved. Don't bother with the DVD. If you must see it, just go to youtube and watch it for free.