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This film is absolutely dreadful.
I have just watched "Noah". I feel duty bound to inform everyone I know to STAY AWAY from this miserable, vomitous, excrescence of a film. Every aspect of this film was dreadful. I hated it. It has taken the top spot on my list of "Worst Movies Ever". I recommend you do something more useful with your time; options include painting a wall and watching it dry; sitting outside and watching the grass grow; staring at your own bellybutton and watching dust accumulate. The acting was terrible. The script was terrible. The music was terrible. The CGI was terrible. The plot was terrible. The length was terrible. It was a series of conjoined CGI set pieces with offcuts from the Transformers movie, punctuated with Ray Winston being Magwich from Great Expectations, 27 separate scenes of various women mewling painfully, a detachable escape pod on the ark a bit like in Star Wars and various James Bond films, and 73 different hairpieces for Russell Crowe.
Save your money. Save your time. Save your sanity. Steer clear from this movie.
The Bourne Legacy (2012)
Fantastic entertainment and intelligently made!
I loved The Bourne Identity. The Bourne Supremacy was also really good. The Bourne Ultimatum was enjoyable, but the weakest of the three. And now we have The Bourne Legacy - which is Bourne back on form!
I thought this movie had a brilliant story and script - it was an intelligent follow-on from what has gone before with the Bourne movies. It's not a reboot, it's a logical "what would happen next, given Jason Bourne's actions in the previous films?" and so it is a great jumping off point.
The casting and acting is first rate, and I was genuinely on the edge of my seat because of what an intense and thrilling movie it was thanks to the work of director Tony Gilroy.
I highly commend the movie to anyone who enjoys an intelligent and exciting movie. First rate. Bring on the next chapter in the story, please please please!
The Steam Experiment (2009)
This is the worst movie I have ever seen.
Let's keep this short and sweet. This movie is a total disaster. The plot makes no sense at all. The acting is dreadful. The writing is appalling. The music is absurd. The production must have been disastrous, as the movie is only 90 minutes long yet there are an enormous amount of padded super-slow-motion scenes. One scene was over FIVE MINUTES LONG, of nothing but actors gurning in slow motion while some pompous over-bearing music droned on. The ending is ridiculous. All in all, a total fail of a movie. I would have rather watched adverts for 90 minutes. The people involved in making this should never be allowed to make another movie again.
15 Minutes (2001)
Fifteen Minutes... would have been too long for this movie.
Someone once said to me "Do you know what I thought when you
came in the door? Nothing. You made no impression on me what
Quite an impressive put-down I thought (fortunately in jest in my
case). I wish this film made no impression on me what so ever. I
would like to never discuss it, think about it, just disregard and
move on. Instead, I am sat here as therapy.
I don't want to castigate a first time director and frankly, I doubt that
I could make a fisting of commanding such a surprisingly famous
cast, but the end result is simply utter dross. Cliched drivel. Bitty,
over-acted, under-acted, boring and pretentious.
Under the 1974 Trades Description Act something you purchase
has to be fit for the purpose for which it was sold. My purchase of
this cinema ticket was intended to provide entertainment; it did not.
And instead, it provided me with one of the most nauseating and
painful experiences I have ever had the misfortune to live through.
In the words of Meatloaf "Life is a lemon and I WANT MY MONEY
Oh, and what about the soundtrack? And what was Frasier Crane
doing there? And Commander Ben Sisko, aka the poor man's
Samuel L. Jackson, Avery Brooks? And the 'blink-and-you'll-miss-it'
irrelevancy of Charlize Theron?!
In conclusion, this movie was a waste of my life. Watch it at your
peril. And don't come running to mummy when you realise the
Great Movie - Pity about the Last 10 seconds!
Wow - what a great movie! The plot of this movie, which is based around the hypothesis that comic strip is a form of history telling, and that it's characters have some sort of basis in reality - i.e. people with great strength, or special powers - is pretty far-fetched, as serious movies go.
However in the hands of M. Night Shyamalan, the pace of the movie rarely falters. His skill as a film maker is evident throughout, with exceptional camera work and direction - he has really brought excellent performances out of Bruce Willis and Samuel L. Jackson, actors who when left to their own devices have shown tendencies to merely 'be themselves'. Also noteworthy is the performance by Spencer Treat Clark as the son of Bruce Willis' character, which is moving yet restrained, which must have been difficult after the pressure of following Osment's turn in the 6th Sense.
I liked the ending, apart from the last 10 seconds which were dreadful and I cannot believe the director insisted on the 'text epilogue' which is given. In movies which are clearly not based on real life events, it is utter stupidity to have a text epilogue which suggests what happened to the characters, it would have been much better simply ending - why spoil a mesmerizing, thoughtful film by asking us to walk out of the cinema with that thought in mind? Similarly this occurred in a much less good film, Rules of Engagement, but with similar results.
I did however like the general end of the movie, and would recommend it to everybody. Many people are unfairly bashing this movie and comparing it to the Sixth Sense, but in my opinion, it is a very well made, intriguing film.
Almost Famous (2000)
This film leaves you feeling great.
This thinly veiled semi-autobiographical account of a period in the life of Cameron Crowe, the director of the movie, is a different, offbeat, truly worthwhile movie. Very well acted, very involving, and you'll come out happy - because this film is real. Forget Bruckheimer's explosions and the pretentions of Kubrick, this film is honest, funny and inspiring, because it is about people - the way people interact with each other and the motives behind the actions. Go and have a good time.
Shooting the Past (1999)
Extremely thought provoking; brilliantly acted, directed and scored.
This series was extremely good; it tells a somewhat quirky tale of a photographic collection which is threatened by an American who wants to build a business school, who is not interested in the photos.
However, it's not as cut-and-dried as the above suggests. The American is not a card, he is an understandable character, as are all the others, and we share their feelings at every step as we begin to understand exactly why these photographs, of no-one in particular, are so valuable.
If this comes out on video, which I doubt it will sadly, I will be first in line.
Shallow Grave (1994)
Excellent black comedy that will make you LAUGH!
What a great movie - superb performance by the three central players, a tight script, a surprising ending. Miss this at your peril!
Magical performances in a touching film
Take the old formula of two mismatched people being forced to live together, and rejuvenate it by losing the cliches and adding excellent script and direction, and utterly superb acting by all the cast, especially the two leads (the grouch and the boy). The characterisations are just spot on.
Whenever I see films like this I end up both very glad to have seen such an outstanding movie, and extremely irritated that practically no-one knows about this gem of a movie, yet films like 'Godzilla' rake in money.
My thanks to all involved with this movie; you have produced a work of art.
Plunkett & Macleane (1999)
Period drama comedy romp, done in modern style to appeal to the 1990s cinema goer
Plunkett and Macleane rob from the rich and... well... they keep it. A working class apothecary and a genteel upper class vicar's son team up to get rich, and find beautiful women along the way.
Nothing new there, but what makes it special is the irreverant style - anachronisms are everywhere, but intentionally, never more so than with the highly innovative score by Craig Armstrong which really adds to the film. Mention must be made of the Earl of Rochester; Alan Cumming is hilarious as the ridiculously camp society fop.
In a few places, it seems weakly directed with a few choppy scene/style changes, but overall an enjoyable film. It won't win any Oscars, but not bad for a first attempt by Jake Scott.