Reviews

15 ReviewsOrdered By: Date
Rip roaring, fast paced action
28 February 2003
Well? What can be said about this film? I was one of the lucky few who went to see it at the pictures. I didn't really know what it was about, although i had heard that there was a hostage involved. What happened next had me on the end of my seat. What started off as a fairly straightforward crime thriller soon turned into a horror film about vampires. I couldn't believe it. I had never seen anything like it before.

Impressed, i bought the video when it came out. Sadly, i noticed some flaws. I realised that the special effects are actually pretty poor, which was something that had escaped my attention at the cinema simply because of the giddy thrill of it all. Also, the script is not the hottest thing in town. However, despite all this i still enjoyed it; all the performances are excellent, although Tarantino is a bit TOO good as George Clooney's psychotic sex offender brother. Think about the films he makes and look into his eyes. See what i mean? This is not the greatest horror film ever (nor is it the goriest), nor is it Tarantino's best film. It's simply an enjoyable, action packed horror comedy that makes for perfect saturday night entertainment. Although the bit where the vampires kill the kid is a bit harsh!
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Splatter in a farmyard style
28 February 2003
I love this movie! Whilst it is not what you would call a good film, it is so funny and original that you cannot help yourself from loving it! The plot is completely bizarre; an old farmer has sex with one of his goats to make it produce more milk, the next thing you know it has given birth to a baby with a goats head and a baby's body! It grows up with the family but is tied into a sack and thrown in the river after breaking the farmer's beer bottles. So it carries out a ghastly revenge with very few survivors.

If you are easily offended, repulsed or are squeamish, stay away. If, however, you find farting, sex and gory killings funny, go out and buy it!
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The Black Adder (1982–1983)
The Best Series
5 November 2002
I am a huge blackadder fan, and own every series on video, and in my opinion this is the best one. It's a lot darker and more surreal than the other three series, and a lot funnier. Rowan Atkinson's character is more sinister than later incarnations, here you get the impression that he is a bit of a psychopath rather than just plain nasty, whilst Baldrick here is presented as the cleverer one, which i think suits the character better. There are many other great performances, such as Brian Blessed's demented Richard the fourth, and Tim Mcinnery's moronic lord percy, but this is Atkinson's show and he gives it his all. A classic
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Hang 'Em High (1968)
Disappointing
5 November 2002
I am a big fan of clint eastwood and saw this film fairly recently. I had heard it was good, but i was left hugely unsatisfied. The film is unbelievably slow moving; in fact, occasionally it is like watching paint dry, and the script is incredibly weak and at times meaningless. If you want a decent clint western, try just about anything else, as this is the only western film of his i haven't enjoyed.
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Makes the "Confessions" Films look like the godfather trilogy
11 October 2002
I suffered the great misfortune of watching this film on channel 5. I couldn't believe a film could be so bad. I usually quite enjoy these sort of films, they are quite entertaining in a sort of bad way. But this is the pits. Threr is hardly any sex and even less comedy. The ending is rushed and there is even propaganda footage of world war 2 fighter pilots for no apparent reason. Avoid.
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Carny (1980)
The weirdest mainstream movie ever
4 October 2002
If this didn't feature Gary Busey or Jodie Foster in it then this could easily be classed as an avant garde film. There is virtually no plot, just a cascade of freaks, fights and sex scenes. I'm not sure if it's any good - it seems unsure whether it wants to be arty or straight forward - but it's certainly interesting. Worth a look.
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Caligula (1979)
Disappointing
4 October 2002
I had heard that this film would be really hardcore and disturbing. It is. If you're 12 years old! Come on! This film is about as shocking as last of the summer wine! It is a campy, over dramatic piece of rubbish! Yes, there is gory violence and sex, but i have seen way more shocking examples. If you want a REAL depraved film, watch "Bloodsucking Freaks". Not this rubbish.
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Good, yet disappointing
4 October 2002
This is a well made, well plotted shocker, with good acting. This is the problem. I was attracted to this film because the cover stated that it had been banned since 1982, and the cover had a priest with blood dripping from his face. Quality splatter stuff! However, what i got instead was a slow, Exorcist style tale about an evil mirror! I was dismayed. However, watching it again i now realise this is actually a good film. I can't see why it was banned, though.

PS: One of my favourite horror flicks "The Nostril Picker", is mysteriously absent from this site. I strongly recommend it to horror fans.
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Hugely underrated
4 October 2002
This is one of laurel and hardy's most underappreciated films. The scene where Stan climbs a rope in a magic trick is one of the funniest things i have ever seen. There are some great lines too - "Let's go to Florida. I'm dying for an orange". Priceless.
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A sicko classic! Yeah!!!
10 September 1999
Until the release of this movie, John Waters was a sick but obscure maverick director, who made some very sick and funny ultra low budget films in the early seventies. However, it was Pink Flamingos which shot him to almost overnight notoriety, with it's scenes of incest, transvestitism, graphic violence and dog pooh gobbling. Cool! Inevitably, all our moral guardians cooked up a huge great stink, and the film was banned for many years. However, this being the nineties, it is now available on video, and...... Wait a second! What are you doing sitting here reading this? GET OFF YOUR CHAIR AND BUY A COPY!!!!!!!! It's an all-time classic! And DON'T think you can get away with buying a late-period waters film either, most of the stuff he made after this was crap. This is the bible of trash films. So buy it. NOW!!
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The Exorcist (1973)
A Famous Horror Film
29 June 1999
The first time i saw this i was at the tender age of twelve. You can imagine the nightmares i had back then. However, i recently rented this film again, just for old time's sake, and guess what? IT'S NOT SCARY!! Which isn't to say it's rubbish. It's a very good film, the acting is spot on and the projectile vomiting and levitation scenes are still classics, but whereas the first time round they caused you to have annoyingly wet sheets, these days they just make you smile. It's like "Led Zeppelin 2", it rocks the first time you hear it, but it wears down with age. Which makes "The Exorcist" the "Led Zeppelin 2" of horror films. ROCK ON!!
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The Funniest Film Ever!!!
15 June 1999
A lot of people i know have been totally repulsed by this film. However, thinking this is a video nasty is missing the point completely. It's a COMEDY!!! And a very funny comedy too. The hilariously twisted sense of humour features classic scenes such as "The Caged Sexoids" (guess!)AND THE ALL-TIME SLAPSTICK CLASSIC SCENE Where a woman gets her brains sucked out!!! This is a comedic masterpiece and the best troma film by miles. Buy a couple of beers, insert into recorder at about three in the morning, and E.N.J.O.Y.!!!
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Dobermann (1997)
The Best Action Film Ever!!!
14 May 1999
This awesome french film is like Reservoir Dogs crossed with Bugs Bunny! No,really.The plot concerns a rather nasty chappie called Dobermann,the leader of a depraved gang of perverts and murderers.Some of the best scenes involve the death of a baby (SPLAT!),and a shoot out at a transvestite bar.WICKED!!This film ROCKS!With a capital "R".Like i said,it's like Reservoir Dogs.Only better.
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Lacking in......EVERYTHING!!!!
7 May 1999
Okay,let's get this straight.America,in recent history,has produced three major alternative comedians,Bill Hicks,Lenny Bruce (in the slightly less recent sixties),and Andrew Dice Clay.All three are very different.However,Hicks and Bruce were brilliant,whereas Dice Clay is....NOT! This is about as bad as comedies get.It is childish,immature,smutty and,let's be polite here,AWFUL!!!For god's sake this is RUBBISH!The only people who could possibly find this funny are people with the mentality of a dead hamster.If only it were Dice Clay who was dead instead of Lenny and Bill.And just WHAT is Robert Englund doing in this??
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Disgusting,Disturbing,Fantastic!
29 March 1999
This explicitly violent italian horror film is trashy,gory....BUT TOTALLY ACE!!!What could be better than seeing someone getting castrated on a Saturday night,or some big brute of a cannibal smashing some idiot's head and eating their brains.GEORGE ROMERO,THIS MAKES YOU LOOK LIKE JEFFREY ARCHER!!And,as further proof that this is THE best horror film ever,it's caused a stink in 21 different countries,where it is banned.HOW COOL IS THAT?!!!Rent it and die.
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